In it’s natural state, our mind is calm.

From birth, most of us in the Western World are inundated with thoughts, stories, ideas and messages that are basically a cry for us to freak out, for us to worry or for us to be scared.

Many of these messages are fueled by fear with an intent to sway our opinion or get us to buy something.

And it’s like the message a lot of the media and the advertisers are sending to us is, “Unless you are perfectly, perfectly perfect, never have anything happen to you, are always happy, never emotional in a negative way, have the perfect body, perfect outfit and perfect relationship, then you need to buy something”.

And we get hypnotized, again and again, but the fears and insecurities of others. And how other people in our family and in the media think and feel affects us greatly. Environment, coupled with the repeated thoughts of those around us, begins to shape and mold us. And there are many moments where we get molded and don’t even realize it.

This is why it’s so important to think for yourself, renew your mind and question your beliefs on a regular basis. Many of the thoughts we think are the insecure thoughts of others. Many of the thoughts we think are the fearful thoughts of the world that we allowed to be projected onto us and then become a part of who we are, because it is reinforced so much from the outside. And it can become so loud, so consistent and so normal, that we don’t even know we are being hypnotized by the fearful and insecure thoughts of others.

I think it was the great Timothy Leary who said, “Think for yourself and question authority”. Not to be a righteous contrarian just because, but because we want to examine and understand the beliefs we have about the world.

These fundamental beliefs that we are believing determine our world view, which determines our actions, which determines our outcomes, which determine our life experience.

We want to make it our goal to have a beginning mind, or to think like a child. That is to say, allow ourselves and those around us to think new thoughts and, as a result, be reborn as new people.

When we allow ourselves this newness and allow this for others in our lives, we step into a realm of self-directed and self-approved choices to surrender our will to the will of The Uni-verse, which makes certain things now possible to us that before seemed impossible.

When we are mindful of our minds, we get to live a new life. When we accept our worthiness as we are, we make a new experience available. When we no longer seek outside of ourselves to fill the void within ourselves, we take a step towards wholeness. This is not something that we do. This is something that we allow to come forward as a result of who we are, naturally.

You can set yourself free, naturally, when you realize that as you are, you are perfect, whole and complete. Nothing to be done except let that be and then act accordingly.

How’s that feel? Comment or email: WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

Are you ready for LOVE? Are you ready to make Summer 2012 your summer of LOVE? Join my 5 Day LOVE & RELATIONSHIP Immersion Bootcamp June 4-8! Click here to sign up!

Dear Dear Mastin,

Hi Mastin! I just wanted to share a few things going on in my life…

One struggle I am going through is being a accepter of myself. I am currently on the path to self-love, and have come a long way through, but I still struggle to love myself for who I am and how I was made perfectly in the Uni-Verse’s eyes. Sometimes, I want to be someone other than myself and I know it’s the wrong thing to think, but I’m constantly comparing myself and beating myself up. I have been practicing going into those emotions and recognizing them for what they are, and then saying to myself, I understand this feeling and have decided to think something more positive. Thank you for sharing. So, rather than totally ignoring the emotion and pushing it away, I go into the pain and understand it, and then try to think something more positive. But the issue is, that even after practicing this I continue to feel and think it over and over again. Can you help me? I need your feedback.

I think one of the reasons I have been feeling this way is because I am at a new school and have started freshman year with a whole new group of people. At times I feel people don’t like me, or they’re judging me. I have spent many nights crying…It’s really hard not to feel accepted. High school is hard.

Well…I do love you Mastin. And you know what? I am manifesting right this second that you WILL read this email. And that you WILL respond. It’s going to happen! I can feel it in my heart!

I can’t wait to see what tomorrow’s Daily Love will bring me. Maybe something that will help me with my struggle. The Uni-Verse is toooo too good to us!

I love you with all my heart! Hugs!

Lots of Love…TDL Reader

# # #

This was shared with the author’s permission. We take your privacy seriously and would never publish something without your consent. Share what you’re going through by sending Mastin an email: WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com.

This week is my anniversary as a blogger on The Daily Love. What a blessing it has been to share with you each week and be part of such a community of LOVE!! To celebrate, I wanted to share with you my debut blog on the TDL about my quarterlife crisis and how it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me and could be the best thing that ever happened or is happening to you, too…

Before the ink on my college diploma was dry, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue my dream of working in the entertainment industry. By twenty-five, I ended up as a television literary agent at one of the most prestigious entertainment companies in Los Angeles. I had an office with a view, an assistant who answered my phone, an expense account, a real salary, power lunches, industry screenings, clients and business cards. I dated and attended industry events. From the outside, my life looked great. I appeared successful and well on my way to “having it all.” There was just one problem: I was absolutely miserable.

Daily I tried to talk myself into liking my job. I felt obligated to stay because this was what I thought I wanted and had worked so hard for, but the fact that I hated what I did every day made me sick. I had migraines at least twice a week, the stress threw my hormones completely out of whack and I was becoming someone I did not like. In order to save myself from a total meltdown, I quit.

Leaving my prestigious career changed my external circumstances; however I still found myself miserable. Completely burned out and craving a total change of direction, I became a personal trainer — I thought that it might be my “passion.” Wrong again. I had nine different jobs in three years, constantly searching for something that would make me feel better about myself. Since the career obviously wasn’t doing it, I looked to a relationship.  I fell in love, moved in with him and got engaged. And then six months before my wedding, he called it off.  So there I was at 28: heartbroken, in debt, physically sick, at odds with my family and lacking direction in my career.  I was having a quarterlife crisis.

There was one significant moment on my bathroom floor when I realized I had two choices: I could throw in the towel, move home and try to forget about the life I had failed at; or I could dig in, look at my life, and try to figure out who I really was, what I really wanted and how I was going to get it.  I finally started to understand that I was working so hard to compensate for my insecurities by chasing achievement and external validation.  I opened my mind to the possibility that somewhere in the midst of this drama, there could be a blessing.

Now you may already know you are in the midst of a quarterlife crisis or you may be wondering if you are having one. Here are some of the most common symptoms:

•         You feel like you are in a funk; nothing is terribly wrong, but nothing seems right either.

•         You feel a lot of pressure and expectations to do, have or be something.

•         You often feel unmotivated, directionless or passionless.

•         You don’t know what you want to do with your life or you know what you want to do, but can’t seem to make a living at it.

•         You feel pressure to get your adult life in order and plan your future.

•         You feel entitled to or long for a life much grander than the one you are living.

•         You are stressed out by choices that will seemingly affect the rest of your life.

•         You are dealing with disappointment or confusion because something did not turn out like you thought it would.

•         A breakup, romantic relationship or lack of one is causing suffering.

•         You are living at home with mom and dad.

•         You compare yourself to other people your age and feel like you don’t measure up.

•         You feel financially unstable.

•         Your self-esteem could use an upgrade.

•         You constantly think about the future, resulting in anxiety.

•         Your life is not at all turning out like you had planned.

If you are having a quarterlife crisis, this is not bad news! You may have bought into some misunderstanding that by your twenties you are supposed to have your entire life figured out. This is 100% false.  You are actually going through a very normal rite of passage that no one may have warned you about.  And if you are aware that you are going through it and willing to do something about it, that is more good news because it means you are AWAKE. It means that you are not satisfied with a life that follows a certain formula. I certainly understand that this or it can feel quite daunting at times.  What I have learned from my own quarterlife crisis and from stewarding hundreds of twenty-somethings through theirs is this:  it is happening to give you an opportunity for transformation!

We often do life a little backwards. We go after external things we want, like a career or relationship, before we truly investigate who we are.  In your twenties, you are just beginning to get to know yourself independently of your family and college environment.  A quarterlife crisis is often The Uni-verse’s way of getting your attention because when life is not turning out like we planned or desired, we are often motivated to start looking within.  Your quarterlife crisis is the doorway to your spiritual path and knowing who you TRULY are, independent of a job, person or money. You have to believe in and truly get to know yourself in order to have clarity about your dreams and goals as well as insights about how to reach them. But that is no easy task, especially in a society that is so externally focused and driven by expectations.

Once you remove this intense pressure to do, be and have so much on the outside, and shift your focus inside, you will begin to experience relief.  I want to reassure you that there is nothing wrong with you if you feel like you are in the midst of a quarterlife crisis.  Up until now, your entire life may have been well scripted and now you are at a point in your life where you have to answer your own questions. You are the expert, you have the answers and you will be your own greatest motivator. Trust me. Or better yet, trust yourself.

Now for those of you who are thinking you do not have time for self-discovery or believe that continuing to chase after those external things will make you feel better, I strongly encourage you to reconsider. If you do not take time to do internal investigation, you will most likely continue making choices based on your past, fears, limiting beliefs, other people’s advice, expectations or societal pressures. And there is nothing wrong with that if you are prepared to have a mid-life crisis as well!

Love,

Christine

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Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it? Join her for a transformational retreat to break free of your quarterlife crisis.

Saturate everything with your respect.

Every interaction, every thought, every feeling. And even when that respect is not returned, give your respect anyway – you’re contributing to the healing on the planet.

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Elena Brower is the founder and co-owner of VIRAYOGA in NYC; her writings and teaching schedule can be found on the Art of Attention.

When we make big changes, it affects the people closest to us.

Maybe you’ve noticed that when you go on a diet, someone who loves you wants to offer you cookies and ice cream?

As you begin to consciously manifest new people and things into your life, you may find that some of the people closest to you become jealous, or even become passive aggressive towards you or may even try to sabotage your efforts. Chances are they are not purposely trying to be this way they are just reacting to a new and improved you and they are a bit nervous.

If the shoe were on the other foot, and someone close to you had made some changes – for better or worse— you might find yourself a little unsettled until you had the sense that this person still loved you.

There is an adjustment period. It’s not unusual that the people that we love feel threatened.

Your positive changes are threatening to their worldview.

It’s part of the price of making change.

For now, keep creating the space for your own personal growth and try not to judge your friends.  Now that you’ve found a better way to live, have faith that eventually your friends and family will see the merits and benefits and will join you.  You are now holding the bar higher, so just be patient and understanding with them.

Hopefully, as they observe how much happier you are, they might decide to make a change as well.

# # #

Arielle Ford is a best-selling author and speaker. Check out her new website here and like her on facebook here.

“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.”

- Buddha, the founder of Buddhism.

“Adversity is like a strong wind.  It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.”

- Arthur Golden, from his best-selling book ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’.

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”

- Harriet Beecher Stowe, was an American abolitionist and author.

“One of the most loving things you can do for another person is let them make their own mistakes, learn their own lessons and endure in the contrast of a life they don’t really want. People only really change when they’ve hit rock bottom – sometimes the most loving thing you can do for a person is to let them and be there to help pick up the pieces. Permanent change comes from within, no one can give it to you.”

- Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath.

Let’s be SUPER clear about something: it’s not what you DO that matters – it’s who you ARE that matters!

In today’s world, we can get SO caught up in DOING! And we focus on the outward, the job, the career, the money, being important, etc., etc.

And then we come to a time, a breaking point, where all that stuff doesn’t seem to matter so much and we just want to be happy. We could find this breaking point at a young age or at an old age. But at SOME POINT, achievement isn’t enough; we want to be happy dammit!

And this is where the “spiritual” path begins. I say “spiritual” because it’s not really something to take so seriously. If we meditate perfectly, wear all the garb perfectly, chant perfectly, eat vegan, gluten-free and have our green juice, but we don’t have LOVE in our hearts, then we’ve missed the whole damn point.

I’d rather hang out with a Love-centered meat eating “not so spiritual person” than a passive aggressive righteous vegan who has the perfect yoga practice and a perfectly fitting lululemon outfit on.

Don’t get it twisted – the ego finds its sly way into the path. And all the rites and rituals don’t mean a DARN THING if we don’t have Love in our hearts. And if we have Love in our hearts and are being Love, then we don’t need the rites and rituals unless we want to do them because they help to remind us to BE LOVE.

It is in our BEING that we find ourselves and our purpose, not in our DOING. You can have all the material possessions in the world and still be lonely as hell, and you can be broke as a mofo and have Love and be the richest person in the world. Me, I want both! I want to have amazingly abundant material possessions, but first and foremost, I want to keep Love and connection in my heart and remain humble within physical abundance.

But the stuff, the form doesn’t freakin matter! What matters is who we are. What matters is how we show up. What matters is the place that we come from in our thoughts, ideas and communications. What matters is if we are serving or not. What matters is crucifying our egos day in and day out (not because it’s the enemy), but so our hearts can shine through.

Living from the heart space is the goal. And when we get there, nothing else is needed because we realize on an experiential level that we are guided and cared for by The Uni-verse. That all our needs are met and that even though life doesn’t turn out how we want it to, that life turns out how we need it to and that is SO FREAKIN RAD!

The ego’s desires PALE in comparison to what The Uni-verse has in store for you. Your ego can’t dream that big, or Love that big or imagine itself being used for THAT much service.

It’s not what you’re doing – it’s who you’re being that counts.

Who are you being today?

Let me know: comment or email: WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com

Love,

Mastin

# # #

Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

Are you ready for LOVE? Are you ready to make Summer 2012 your summer of LOVE? Join my 5 Day LOVE & RELATIONSHIP Immersion Bootcamp June 4-8! Click here to sign up!

Do you have any suggestions on how to handle texting/facebook drama? Obviously we all “know” that it’s not a forum for venting, but lately it seems to be on the rise. The ignorance transcends all educational levels, as Professionals with Masters & Doctorate degrees vent their personal frustrations on public forums even though we know better. Emotional intelligence flies out the window. I’ve lost a couple of lifelong friends lately who got mad at me for not responding to their texts, or responding with a quick “yes” because I missed the first part of a 2-part text that ended with “Is everything okay?” But apparently started with “Are you mad at me? You haven’t returned my call for 3 days.” I was in 3 trials in 5 days, but that friend had apparently texted me and I didn’t see it, because I often don’t return personal calls until the weekend. When I explained the missing element, she still elected to end our friendship because I don’t give her enough attention since she moved 4 hours away from me. She canceled my upcoming trip to go see her & canceled the concert we were going to go see together. This woman is also an attorney in her early 40′s but very emotionally needy. She defriended me on Facebook. Another friend defriended me on Facebook because she got mad at me, also. A lot of women are defriending each other, then adding them back. It’s become quite an emotionally destructive tool. How do we keep technology in a place where it can be used as a tool rather than a weapon? How do we keep our minds in the right frame so we don’t fail to respect those boundaries? TDL Reader # # # This was shared with the author’s permission. We take your privacy seriously and would never publish something without your consent. Share what you’re going through by sending Mastin an email:WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com.