A client this week was struggling with a new relationship. Part of her was so happy and excited about connecting with a man who is incredibly good to her, emotionally available, and shares her top values. Things have been going really well and her mind knows that he is truly a great guy. Yet another part of her was flipping out. Fears about him leaving or getting mad at her kept coming up. Doubts about whether she was enough or would keep saying and doing the “right” things were tormenting her. All this doubt and fear was tainting the amazing experience of falling in love.
Often our emotions and thoughts can feel like they are contradicting each other. This experience can be rather unsettling, yet at the same time, it’s very natural. We are multi-dimensional beings! Let’s get scientific about it for a moment: there’s our neocortex (our thinking brain) and our limbic brain (our emotional brain) which are often at odds with each other. We experience multiple thoughts and feelings at the same time that can throw us off balance. You may be feeling one way but thinking another or vice versa. Or you may have contradictory feelings and/or thoughts going on.
In my vlog, I share a powerful prana (which means breath) practice called “alternate nostril breathing” that will calm down your nervous system and bring your right and left-brain back into balance. It is the perfect thing to do when you feel like you are flipping out about something as it supports you in creating a space where all thoughts and feelings are welcome.
When my client asked me how to get rid of the fear and doubt, my coaching to her was not to attempt to, or even want to, get rid of it. Anything we push away actually gets pushed down deeper inside instead of actually going away. It is similar to trying to hold a beach ball under water – you can do it for a while but it takes great effort and it eventually gathers enough pressure to pop up and splash you right in the face.
Instead I taught her alternate nostril where all thoughts and feelings are welcome. By sitting with them, recognizing them, and gathering any message that is important to understand you are accepting, rather than suppressing. Eventually, all limiting thoughts and negative emotions do pass if you are willing to sit with them and face them with Loving acceptance.
This is not about indulging self-limiting thoughts or fear-based emotions. This is about acknowledging them and simply being with them. That is why alternate nostril breathing is so powerful.
Do this prana practice when you feel out of balance, like your emotions and/or thoughts are running away with you, or anytime you just want to feel fantastic!
PS: Want to be published? I am looking for contributors to my next book: Expectation Hangovers due out this spring. I’d love for you to share a story! All the details here.
Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it? You can check out her website here.