- FIX them and their problems
- Rescue them
- Tell them what to do (none of my business unless they ask – my friends are grown-ups!)
- Judge them and break up with them because they are so BROKEN and I am so evolved (good one, huh? I used to tell myself that A LOT!)
A really beautiful friend of mine actually used to listen to me doing the same crazy crap all the time, nod, and after I was done ranting and raving, would gently ask,”What are you going to do?” and I was like… (well, first I have to tell you secretly that I was a little pissed and surprised because I have been allowing people to tell me what to do all my life AND… get this… I WANTED TO BE RESCUED… because I didn’t feel powerful and I really didn’t know what to do sometimes)…
Anyway, let’s go back to the start of my sentence.
A really beautiful friend of mine actually used to listen to my crazy crap all the time, nod, and after I was done ranting and raving, would gently ask,”What do you want?” and “What are you going to do?” and I was like (in my grown up spot), “Oh my God! This friend really believes I can solve this myself! Wow! Maybe I can!”
I AM SUPER-CAPITAL “D” DANA!
And now, I can pass on this wisdom to myself and the people I love (you know, like, as in EVERYONE)!
So today I’ll write a bit about forgiveness:
TOP SECRET: It’s not about the person you’re forgiving; it’s about YOU and your own freedom. As Deepak Chopra writes,
“No one is wrong. In the eyes of love, all people are doing the best they can from their own levels of consciousness.” ~ Deepak Chopra
Just so you know, that doesn’t make right the crappy stuff that people have done. Horrible atrocities happen everyday in our world – murder, rape, suicide, child abuse, theft, natural disaster and the list goes on and on…
And guess what? Pain is part of life. And, thankfully, so is JOY! What I am saying, is this: It’s our choice what we do with our pain.
I know people who have been in pain, drama, and in victim mode FOREVER! And, I used to be there, too! And finally, I got sick of it. I got sick of feeling like crap, I got sick of my same old victim story, and I had to shift or die a slow spiritual death. The “shift” hit the fan, and I was presented with a choice.
Story (you’re welcome!): When I was super especially miserable at one point in my life, I began to run – a lot. And I ran… and ran… and ran… and ran (maybe a bit too much, actually, I have that tendency, if you haven’t noticed…). I was so burdened, stressed out, burned out, and sad and exhausted one morning, but I still went running before my kids got up. I turned left onto the three-mile course I did and I saw about a 15 pound ginormous rock.
Something told me to pick it up… and guess what? I ran the whole damn 3 miles carrying that 15 lb. rock! And when I was done, I put down the rock, and I felt as light as air!
That’s what forgiveness does.
It frees us.
It makes us lighter.
It means we quit judging others
and making them “wrong” so our egos can be “right”, “superior”,
(and it takes the pressure off . . .)
Anyway, just so you know, I totally get that it’s easier to stay stuck in being mad, right, offended, or disgusted by someone else’s behavior (which conveniently takes the focus off of ourselves, get it?). BUT it’s only hurting you (& me & we!)
What teeny tiny thing can you forgive today?
Let us know in the comments!
Dana Lynne Curry, Ph.D., has been teaching middle school English (with no low bun) for over 23 years. She is a gReaT-fuL Writer, Storyteller, Teacher, Student, Irreverent GoofBall, Blogger, Servant, Philosopher, Spiritual Collagist (is that a word?), Mama, LoVer of LiFe!, Amazing Friend, and one cOOL pUsSy caT!! Find Dana at funfreeME and on Twitter @funfreeMe1.