Are there relationships in your life that leave you feeling drained, judged, and depleted? You may feel a sense of obligation or dread when they want to spend time with you. As counterintuitive as it sounds, most people have at least one frienemy in their circle.
So why would you stay in relationship with someone who makes you feel like crap, you may ask. There are a variety of reasons we draw certain people into our lives. There is an unconscious need, that this relationship is filling. When you actually look at what you are getting from your friendships notice if you are being filled up or drained. Notice how and why your interaction is familiar. The common denominator in every relationship in your life, is you. You are responsible for 50% of every interaction in every one of your friendships. If the friendship leaves you feeling lousy, it is worth the effort to uncover why you stay. Who does that friend remind you of? Where have you felt like this before? Does your relationship with them mirror your role in your family system? For example, if you were the overachieving hero child in an alcoholic family system, you may create friendships where you feel overly responsible for the success of those around you. If you take the time to connect the dots backwards to uncover the original relationship you might be repeating, you can create friendships instead of frenemies.
Healthy friendships are about acceptance (Tweet-worthy!); loving the good with the bad, without constant criticism and judgement. And while each relationship brings with it the potential for learning and growth, your friendships can also be joyful and easy.
You deserve loving and supportive relationships. Taking an honest inventory of how you feel in your current friendships is a good start. Though, once you have insight into your own behavior and what past relationship you might be repeating, you may no longer feel compelled to stay in an unhealthy friendship. Hopefully freeing up your energy to create healthy relationships.
What are your thoughts on frienemies? Have you had to deal with this type of friendship in your life? I always love connecting with you so please drop me a comment in the section below and join the conversation. And as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love,
As a licensed therapist, transformation coach, and mentor to well-known personalities in wellness, empowerment, and entertainment, Terri Cole is honored to help clients, and now readers like you, remain present and grounded, despite life’s complexities. She provides sustainable, action-oriented solutions you can implement TODAY that allow you to live a life that thrills you. Follow Terri on Facebook and Twitter.