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Friends not being supportive of your dreams?

Going for what you want is not easy. There are all kinds of barriers to get there – both inner and outer. And while at the end of the day, going after your dreams is an inner game – there are some people in your life that can either really aid you in your pursuit of happiness or deter you.

That group of people is your friends.

This is your support system. The people that are there for you. Those that you go to for advice and to lift you up when you are down.

But what are you to do if they don’t support your dreams? Or perhaps you’ve been friends with them for a while, but now you’ve changed what’s important to you.

Maybe you are on the spiritual path now and that’s something they aren’t interested in.

Or maybe they don’t support some of the new choices you are making in your life.

Or perhaps, you’ve formed friendships based on talking smack about other people and now you aren’t interested in that conversation.

Whatever it is, the change in your dynamic with your friends is a normal part of the spiritual journey.

The reality is that in every relationship (friends and romance) you either grow together or grow apart.

The key is to not become a spiritual egoist. That is to say – once you become more aware, don’t start judging others, including your friends as “less spiritual”.

Nothing is more annoying or further away from embodying the spiritual lessons you are learning.

At the end of the day, what your friends need is Love. As do you.

And the person who needs your Love first is you.

It can be hard to Love your friends when you start to go on a new journey. But the reality is, sometimes you can Love from a far. You can also accept that some of your friends are just surface friends.

Not every relationship has to be super deep and intimate. I have some friends I see once a year and some I talk to every day. And I’m a different level with each of them.

I have friends that I’ve grown apart from ever since I started my spiritual path.

And the reality is, that’s okay.

And, when you create this space, what’s cool is that you can form new friendships. What’s awesome about forming new friendships is that new friends don’t see you as your older self.

The see you as who you are now. And that can be so powerful.

When you are trying to transform your life, many times old friends can say things like “Oh, you’re all spiritual now” or “There’s no way you can change”.
That’s because you have history. Which can be awesome, but it can also hold you back.

New friends can allow you to show up new. Which can be a powerful conduit for transformation.

At the end of the day, as you start to go on your journey – your life will change. Instead of meeting this change with fear, meet it with faith. Be open to new ideas, new friendships and new possibilities.

Love your friends as they are. Create healthy space if you need to. And know that no one is more or less spiritual – just on different paths. Love your path and celebrate theirs.

In the comments on the below, let me know your thoughts. Do you have friends that you need to create healthy space with? If so, how could you do that starting today?

Lots of LOVE from Santorini,

Mastin

P.S. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

  • xandy

    what’s also cool, to me, is that you can discover that a long-held friendship has the room to grow, and that an old friend can remember who you were and still allow and congratulate you on new growth and attainments as they grow in theirs. those are the friends i love to cultivate and spend time with, old or new.

    to be able to share a mutual path of growth, change and uncertainty with another, and support each other regardless, that is a meeting of the heart!

    ::namaste::

    • The Daily Love

      So true Xandy! Such a special aspect of friendship to recognize! Thanks for mentioning this! <3 – Team TDL

  • Alanna

    SOOOOOOOOOOO relevant. gah……. :(

    • The Daily Love

      Glad this one came at the right time Alanna :) – Team TDL

  • Anu Lampenius

    I just needed this :D <3

    • The Daily Love

      Perfect Anu! Thanks for reading today! <3 -Team TDL

  • Marie-Josee

    Thank you Mastin!!! You bring so much Joy, Love and Clarity in my life every single day. Today’s lesson was spot on and much needed courage to do what I needed to do for a long time in regards to friends in my life. Enjoy your trip!!!!

    • The Daily Love

      Aw, so glad you are enjoying the blogs Marie-Josee! Grateful you are a part of the Daily Love community <3 – Team TDL

  • Lisa

    Thanks so much for this Mastin! Respect and boundaries are important in all relationships, It is our journey and no one else’s. How you choose to take it is up to you. Personally I have an inner circle and only the loving and supportive are let in. Thank you for sharing the message with us all! You are the best!:)

    • The Daily Love

      Love that circle Lisa! Thanks for sharing this!! <3 – Team TDL

  • Mary

    It’s funny that you talk about those old friendships and being a new path… I was back home for a month and realized that there was no point in trying to “save” these old friendships and make the relationships stronger — these relationships were going to be what they want to be and that’s that. The thing that makes me the least comfortable though is that I often feel like I’m over sharing or over justifying myself with my old friends, in an attempt to make them see the “new” me, I think. It becomes very tiresome.

    • The Daily Love

      It can be so tiresome Mary! Sounds like you are on a great path though! Keep going!! <3 – Team TDL

  • Chris

    A component of my spiritual journey has been not hanging out with friends who drink and smoke pot which causes disappointment from them and myself. I just don’t enjoy or fit into their conversations when the energy of drinking and smoking happens. They are really good guys but I’m clear it’s not how I want to spend my time.

    • The Daily Love

      Such a powerful realization Chris! Keep going! <3 – Team TDL

  • Massiel Hernandez

    This spoke to me this morning because I was having a conversation about it last night. It was about family members, but I had the same thing happen with friends as well. In the pass few years, I’ve been pursuing my dream and grown more confident in my own ability. For some reason, this really intimates some friends & family member who once were able to dictate what I was doing. I no longer feed into their drama and basically have slowing distance myself from them. I’ve felt guilty at first because I was basically building a new life without them. Thank you for this post! It helped me feel way better about the situation.

    • The Daily Love

      That awesome Massiel!! Sounds like you are rocking it! <3 – Team TDL

  • Klaudia

    It feels good to know that a lot of people have the same problems … otherwise you wouldn’t write about it ;-) Thanks again – as sooo often – for your awesome ideas for the day and the gentle push for the path. – Something different: I loved your picture from the Acropolis of Athens – and I’m a little jealous about you beeing in Santorini … enjoy it!! And if you have the chance and you are back on the mainland of Greece: the Monasteries of Meteora are a more than spiritual and breathtaking places. Some of the former of 100 monasteries are still in use and some you can visit. A great experience, I went there twice. Have an awesome time in Greece – and thanks again for your Daily Love

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for the recommendations Klaudia!! <3 – Team TDL

      • Klaudia

        You are more than welcome!! It’s nice for me that I can give you a recommendation … not as always the other way around ;->>> Enjoy Greece – or California, wherever you are, you do a great job Team TDL, thanks for what you are doing and how!

  • mom2asweetp

    That’s all great – but it’s a very different situation when your spouse is in a different place than you are spiritually. There’s not the option to love them from afar as easily, or to create more space. There’s history and a life together that requires patience and commitment and prayer. Truly a different struggle.

    • The Daily Love

      Definitely a different situation mom2asweetp! Thanks for mentioning this with us <3 – Team TDL

  • Beth

    Thanks as always Mastin, for your valuable insights.2 comments you’ve made are especially helpful. Your thought of either “growing together or growing apart” when it comes to friends or romance, and also not being a “spiritual egoist” who judges others when you become more aware. I’ve lived near my parents for a while, and I find it challenging to express my needs and values, which are somewhat different then theirs, in a way they can understand.I do love them, and know they love me.
    In my view, as different people. we’re supposed to have these differences. Maybe, the answer is to understand my parents as much as I would like them to understand me. Any of your thoughts are welcome. :- ) Cheers, Beth

    • The Daily Love

      Such a lovely line, “to understand my parents as much as I would like them to understand me.” Sounds like a beautiful and empowering mission to bring more Love to your relationship with them! <3 – Team TDL

    • http://www.drsweta.com/ Dr. Sweta – the self expressio

      When you get a taste of God you want everyone to experience the amazing seer nectar and it can become easy to get all preachy. I did that with my brother. But eventually I realized I could share my experiences without needing his approval of my faith nor trying to manage his own journey. So weird awkward convos about my “business” turned int me sharing my daily experiences, even ones like ” I send telepathic messages to my hubby”. Now my bro asks questions like “can you tell the universe to do the dishes?” and we have bug laughs! We can be break the cycle of our childhood of feeling loved through. If you can be with out an agenda to either prove yourself or prove them wrong it just flows and you learn to love and accept yourself and people you care for and redefine your connection.

      • http://www.drsweta.com/ Dr. Sweta – the self expressio

        Sorry for all the typos but I hope you get the gist :-)

  • http://www.drsweta.com/ Dr. Sweta – the self expressio

    This is a very interesting subject as I have truly gone the spiritual path over the last 2 years, left my job as a scientist, pharmacist / professor (hrlping people to numb themselves with drugs abd teaching future generations to do the same) and now i blog about all things spiritual, take people to Peru to meet with Shamans, meditate in the park and post about Angel’s -so I am full-flegged woo-woo but with a basis of practicality. The other interesting thing is that my form of addiction to deal with my disconnect was socializing, do I had a lot of “friends.” I mean I was still in touch with grammar school, high school and college buddies. As I took my journey to self-discovery and became aware of this addiction I learned it was my way of dealing with not living in a “Brady bunch upbringing” I am now married and have a beautiful son. I took a year break from friends to learn “who am I ” without the needs of others and can I be a family woman. So I turned my life around, created a life of dreams: spent 2 months in Spain with my family while publishing a book and growing a globals business. After I come back from this fantasy world I felt off, wtf (yeah spiritual folk curse) I received a message from my college roommate and she said she had a dream about me “I was unhappy about my new found path and that I missed my friends” Holy crap! I couldn’t believe that even in a state of total lack of awareness my whole life I still managed to attract “my people” what a deep connection that she through her dream could give me the answer to my own discontent. What happened after was really cool. I gave myself permission to have it all: family woman, introvert and extrovert. I started to reconnect with old friends but in a way I never did before. As the real me. True connection, not trying to be something I’m not. I told friends I loved them, showed gratitude, asked for help, called when I felt weak (I’m usually the advisor and being a life coach I put all this pressure on myself that I had to have it figured out) . In my experience there is no better feeling in the world then showing up as the REAL YOU and being surrounded by the “right” people (for you) who love you warts and all! I hope everyone on TDL gets to experience such a gift!

    • Alana

      What an inspiring share, Sweta!

    • mmqc

      Thank you so much for the inspiring share! Beautiful!

    • The Daily Love

      Yes Dr. Sweta, yes! So grateful to have you sharing this and inspiring us and others to open up and be the REAL you <3 Sending you lots of Love Dr. Sweta!! – Team TDL

  • lisamanyon

    Ah yes, the bittersweet truth of life, love, growth and success. Great read. Thanks for sharing.

    • The Daily Love

      Yes Lisa! Thanks so much for reading and sharing today :) – Team TDL

  • GuestTheRest

    On point, brotha.

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for reading GuestTheRest! <3 – Team TDL

  • Lammagirl

    These past few years have seen many changes for me. In 2008 I moved to PA. I began to practice yoga, didn’t understand the spiritual path it would take me on, but I know it began opening doors for me. I began watching super soul Sundays and was introduced to the work of depak choppra. In 2010 I move back to my home state, my mother was dying.She passed the following April and it was very difficult, much more so than I imagined it would be. I reconnected to an old friend who after a few years away from daily contact, I had become to realize was an “energy leach”. This friend was about the only friend I have, other than my wonderful husband. Sadly, she was evicted from were she was living and I stepped up and offered her a place to live, it was only supposed to be three months. She became pregnant within a month, and I allowed her to stay longer. I justified this by saying I couldn’t turn a pregnant woman out of my house and onto the street. Then the child was born, so now the baby is 1 1/2 years old r seems to treat my house as though it was hers, tells me my husband and I can’t argue in front of her and her kids because it’s too stressful (yet screams at her child in what I perceive as abusive in manor) and complains about the state of my house- my husband- and life in general. There is a lot more to this story, but the bottom line, I grew she did not. Now I am broken hearted due to the need to sever her out of my life. This might be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

    • The Daily Love

      So good to realize that you are putting your needs in the forefront Lammagirl! Please let us know how it goes! <3 – Team TDL

  • Karina Lopez

    For me, experiencing varying levels of human connection is a great thing; not everyone I meet will result in a deep soul connection, and I no longer feel like it needs to. I’m grateful for the different shades and depths of my connections with others, because it brings out my own facets and multiplicities. Now I’m focused on being present with others in the moment, listening with openness, and seeing what arises with time. Unhealthy connections are also loaded with lessons, like establishing your personal boundaries and the art of letting go. Wise words to keep in mind when learning to be a better friend. Thank you, Mastin. Love to you and the Daily Love team!

    • Feenface7

      Karina, thank you…I was searching for my lesson in unhealthy relationships, but personal boundaries and letting go with grace….that is it! Thank you so much..peace be with you

    • The Daily Love

      So many lessons loaded in unhealthy connections Karina! Thanks so much for opening up and sharing this with us today :) – Team TDL

  • Talya Price

    I have set boundaries for people who suck the energy from me. I had to let people go because they were no longer resonating with me, and no longer serving me. And I had to learn a very important lesson. I know I cannot please everyone and I do not want to. But I have to do what is best for me. Hence the reason why I meditate and I listen to myself and get to know myself. I think many people are afraid of being alone and that is why they surround themselves with people even if some of these people do not serve them nor resonate with them.

    • The Daily Love

      Being alone can definitely be scary Talya! But worth being alone to avoid not doing better for yourself! Have you read “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”? Such a great read on the topic :) – Team TDL

  • Feenface7

    Friends aren’t hard for me, as I know that they are, “for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”. Family is where it is harder for me. I have six sisters, and some know how to push your buttons..the past is deep, and they gossip. All
    i can do is not add into the gossip, have love in my heart for them…but it doesn’t stop them from hurting me. I intellectually know that they are there to be my teachers, the pain hurts so much. Do you have to have someone in your family be in your life, just because they are family?

  • jackie

    Thank you, Masten! Glad ive found u guys! Been undergoing confusion and hurt due to my friend suddenly ignore me&refuse to talk about it. I love her enough to wait for forgiveness though i don’t know whats wrong but it seems soo distant. I hope i learn to finally let go… Can’t help but cry while reading my first TDL & shared comments from wonderful people like you… Thank you. Love&peace!

    • jackie

      Sorry for the typo.

    • The Daily Love

      We are so grateful you are here Jackie! Sending you so much Love!! <3 – Team TDL

  • Diana

    Gracias Mastin….this blog inspired me at my deepest core. Relationships has been a challenge for me, and as you just said “LOVE them” that makes us all reunited. Powerful.

    • The Daily Love

      So powerful Diana! Thanks for reading and sharing with us today :) – Team TDL

  • Sonia

    Mastin, I really love this topic. It will help me going forward. I do not have many friends but the ones close to my heart have grown together. We all go through life’s curve balls. We have always been there for one another. I agree that there are different levels. I accept people for who they are. Its important to accept and not try to change those we love. I will guard myself so that my energy level stays constant and that I do not put myself last.

    • The Daily Love

      Beautiful Sonia! Let us know how it goes!! <3 – Team TDL

  • Laura

    I’ve been feeling like I have lost touch with my dreams and just been going through the motions of survival. Even in being in touch with my friends, I’ve been feeling invisible and just hanging out isn’t enough for me. I am thirsty for something far greater then just the appearance of myself in life. I have an inner being screaming to get out and live. Just what do I do to get from where I am now to where my voice yearns to be?

    • The Daily Love

      Awareness is a huge step in the right direction Laura! What is your heart telling you your next step is? <3 – Team TDL

  • Adrienne

    This letter couldn’t fit me more perfect. Today I need the sign of am I wrong to be happy because someone is not for me. I lost a friendship this week of 25 years my heart is so sad. My life journey is taking me to some we’re so great, and it is so hard because I have been in a business friendship relationship. So I can’t thank you enough for this letter from the bottom of my heart I am taken my sadness and even though at this moment we are not communicating , I wish only the best for her.

  • cb

    loved you on Super Soul Sunday and even though I am new to your emails I did really enjoy the first one about friends and funny how it came right at the right time. Talk about synchronicity :)

  • cb

    by the way I signed up for the daily emails but have not received anything since Monday. I’m not too familiar with your site yet so maybe I got it wrong? Thanks :)