Get Real With Yourself!

mk_treesAcceptance and awareness of our current life situation is the first step we must take towards transforming our lives. Everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet that has to see the light of day before true transformation can occur.

If you’re feeling anxiety or uneasiness that isn’t caused by a chemical imbalance, chances are you are not in integrity with yourself. What the heck does that mean?

It means that there are truths that you are not being truthful with yourself about. It means that your actions aren’t in alignment with your true core desires.

Example – you want to save money and pay down debt, yet you spend frivolous money on things that put you over budget every month driving you into more debt. Or, perhaps you’re like me, wanting to lose weight, but not being realistic about how many calories you eat and the quality of food that you put in your body.

Or perhaps you want to be on time for someone you love and don’t show up for him or her, or show up late.

This is all just about an inconsistency in what you really want (healthy body, no debt, to show up) and how you’re acting. This inconsistency affects your moods and can lead to anxiety and all kinds of other negative emotions that tear down your self-esteem.

So, if there’s transformation that has to take place in your life and it’s being blocked, look first at the situation for what it is and accept it 100%. Then, look at the outcome you REALLY want and compare that to the actions you’re taking. Chances are, your actions don’t equate to the desired results you want. If you don’t know what actions to take, it’s time to get a mentor or coach to help you, which is why I do mentoring and have a life coach. I wish I had a “me” helping guide me when I first got started.

When you are truthful with yourself about the reality of your life, look at the desired outcome you want to create and compare that to the action you’re taking; you get a whole new reality check on why your life is the way it is. And what’s cool is that you can make a new decision with your new awareness, right now and change.

So, are your actions in alignment with the desired outcome you really want? Are you telling yourself the truth of how your life really is right now?

As always, the action happens in the comments below, leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Lots of love and personal integrity,


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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

  • Great article Mastin! Something I needed to hear today. You’re right – our desires need to line up with our ACTIONS or we’ll only create anxiety. For example, I have some debt I’d like to pay down as I’m starting out my own business, but my actions aren’t matching that true desire and it creates a sense of anxiety.

    Thanks for the inspiration!

  • Denise Saccone

    Thank you, Mastin. Perfect message for me today! Your truth-filled message reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Michael Bernard Beckwith: “If you are not living in Joy, you are out of integrity with your Soul.”
    While I am not new to “the work”, I am new to your site and I’m already deeply grateful for another channel through which to connect to Source — and other inspired and inspiring people on the enlightened path.
    Many blessings to all.

  • Teresa

    What a great blog and oh so true! There are people who aren’t gonna like it. The thing is, tough love is true love. Mastin, you truly care and that is what this specific blog shows… We sit back and wonder how we are going to reach our goals, make our dreams come true or something even more simple like just get through the day with some sort of joy but yet do not do a darnn thing to help themselves… I know when I was soo depressed with a broken heart and could not get outta bed, I read your blog, I got out of bed, I made gratitude lists, I saw my spiritual advisor, I cried and meditated and sang and called friends and drank too! The drinking isn’t something I recommend,. I am an honest person so it is what it is… I’m now in a really good place. I don’t like the drinking thing. I started to have money trouble and not feeling so good! Well, Teresa? Get real with yourself girlfriend !!! I did just that! I am still doing it… Common sense it is to me. Do I like it? Not necessarily all the time but I’m feeling better and I want to be healthy and happy. I want the money I have and work hard to earn to be spent more wisely. I, in time would like to attract an emotionally healthy man who is capable of deep love so therefore I need to be those things if I want to attract these things into my life. I’m in a good place and I am truly grateful:-) My boy is 21 years old today and has grown into a fine man… There are a lot of men my age who could learn from my Son… He is honest, respectful, kind, compassionate, thoughtful and genuine… He is smart and funny!!! I am blessed with my Son and two daughters older than he:-) I raised them by myself. I have gained a lot of wisdom from my life so if anyone has any questions please feel free to ask. I would truly love the opportunity to be of help in any way:-) Have a wonderful day everyone! I send you love…

    • Madeleine Chenier

      Hugs back to you Teresa! Enjoy your beautiful family and all you have accomplished. Be proud and continue to love yourself and grow! Enjoy this beautiful journey with all its challenges! Happy New Moon everyone! M 🙂 xo

  • Bell

    I just had an Aha moment….As a Mexican-American woman I was raised in a very traditional culture way. Man are the boss, men eat first, you must put up with cheating & BS for the sake of the children etc. For a long time I thought blah blah to all that became rebellious to all the traditions I dont agree with but still I have been fearful of being the real me. I am myself but not the 100% that I should be. ( I am 30 and I wont get a tattoo because I am scared what my parents would say) . Thank you for this article . I am stepping out of my shadow & being more real.

  • Karen

    Excellent message Mastin. Speaking for myself, I was instantly able to zero in on my inconsistencies ~ I have a few of them! I’d better get started :).

  • Kathleen Chelquist

    Yep, I know this one….REAL WELL! “Skeletons” in the closet, that is. I needed to “get REAL” and tell my husband a secret I had been holding in since the day we met. It was the only way to get out of the “Limbo Contest” I had created. “The truth will set you free”…may be cliche, but it WORKS. And, as much as I dreaded telling him what I thought I NEVER would, it catapulted us out of LIMBO. People hold in secrets because they “THINK” they can hurt their significant other. Not realizing that is the SECRET which is slowing destroying their partnership. And that their significant other has what it takes to be their BIG SELF and FORGIVE. I gave my husband this chance, and he claimed responsibility too. He saw my innocence. WHY? Because I had forgiven myself and had claimed my own innocence before telling him. So when I revealed my truth, I claimed it with humility and grace. I projected LOVE…not FEAR onto him. And…WE SAVED OUR MARRIAGE.

    There is no rule on this. If you go through your fear in telling a secret, you will KNOW whether it needs to be told. Sometimes, there is no need. BUT, the only way to access this wisdom is through…WILLINGNESS.

    The Daily Commenter,
    (“Hope Springs…Even In My Marriage” is the Blog.)

    • Jenchristined

      Kathleen-how do you KNOW? Can you elaborate on this…”There is no rule on this. If you go through your fear in telling a secret, you will KNOW whether it needs to be told. Sometimes, there is no need. BUT, the only way to access this wisdom is through…WILLINGNESS.”

      • Kathleen Chelquist

        Thanks for asking. You will “KNOW” because there will be NO DOUBT. Just think about something that you “KNOW” for sure. No one can convince you otherwise. This is your divine wisdom. If you are serving Fear, there is no way to “KNOW.” Fear (worry, stress, anxiety,etc.) blocks the truth. Sometimes I “KNOW” something and then (almost immediately) my mind comes in with doubt. This is when I “Doubt my Doubt.” If I am unwilling to do this and create clarity…I use, “When in Doubt-DON’T,” until I am sure (Much patience required). Letting go of the outcome and keeping your focus on breathing, relaxing, and surrendering into Love will help you get OUT of your MIND and access what your soul KNOWS. Hope this helps, Kathleen

  • This is a really powerful post, you are definitely not alone on wanting to lose weight, yet not being consistent with actions you need to take to do it. The truth of the matter is that if our actions WERE actually lining up with our desires, then we would HAVE our desired outcome. It really is just that simple…yet a lot of us don’t. Sometimes we do need to just reality check ourselves, and even ask ourselves what are we waiting for? The only person you cheat out of anything when you cheat on a diet, or decide not to study that new language, or any other goal you want…is yourself. In the end, it isn’t worth it.

    I’d rather suffer the pain of discipline than the pain of regret. One lasts way longer than the other.


  • Catherine B-l

    Thank you so much Mastin. This is exactly where I’m at in my life and currently working on, so it was great for me to read. It just gives me more fuel to keep working on what I’m working on. Exactly what I need to see today.
    I’ve been looking at my life over the last year, the various aspects of it, wondering why I’ve been so unhappy and unfulfilled. Mostly I’m not following my Path, my true calling. But along with that, my actions and daily habits, like you say here, are not following what my true desires in Life are. I am in the process and have been for a few months now, of cleaning up and cleaning out my life of all that is not what I’m here on the Planet to do. I’m trying to simplify and zero in to what is truly important to me, and shed the excess that just gets in the way and distracts from my true Purpose.
    Thank you Mastin. Reading your daily love is true inspiration.

  • From a Hawaiian healing point of view the way I have learned it, this type of self-sabotaging behavior is a symptom of not listening in to what our lower selves (or inner child) really feels and needs. Let’s say you desire loosing weight. That is your mind and your higher self talking (Ego wants to look good and Higher self know it’s more healthy). But the lower self is screaming because perhaps it is craving acceptance or more security (if you for example eat to stuff down fears), thus the best way to be more successful in achieving our goals is to satisfy that originating feeling of for example acceptance and security FIRST or simply by reasoning with oneself how changing your behavior will enable such emotions. It can also be a sign of that we want something else than we are saying and thinking. The partner we are not showing up to on time, might for example make us feel inferior or we are more in love with love than the person or we want something else more (solitude to heal for ex). it is a fine line to distinguish fears, complacency and being stuck in the comfort zone with our real needs. To me it is often easiest done by tuning into what my inner child needs.

  • Well done Mastin,.. Well done!!! Way to UP the integrity factor in us all!
    Big Love, Drew

  • Madeleine Chenier

    Perfect blog for this New Moon Mastin! Time to realign! Hugs 😉

  • Confused

    What happens if you’re in a relationship where you love your husband and your husband seems to love you but he does not seem interested in sex anymore? We’ve been married for almost two years and I am young and definitely not unattractive. My self esteem has become very low and I don’t know whether it is some internal belief I have that is causing this challenge to be a big part of my life right now and what it is I am meant to learn from this. Does anybody have some advice or shared a similar situation?

  • Katherine

    Mastin, I read your blog every day!! They are so wonderful, and I have learned and growed so much from them, Thank You!
    One of the thing I was pondering, nothing to do especifically with this post is, since you mention a lot about how us as human are imperfect because of our
    actions, emotions, feelings, thoughts, what if instead calling those things imperfect, we see and accept them as perfect and are just part of our make up as human just to make us grow and learn to become one with the Universe!