Here’s how to respect yourself.

mk_treesHappy Saturday, I’m in Phoenix, AZ for our first ever “Enter the Heart” event here. If you want to come, grab your ticket here. There’s a couple left.

I’ve done it. Gone all in. All my life I’ve wanted to be in amazing shape. To be healthy. And to feel healthy. It’s been one of the toughest spiritual, emotional and physical journey’s of my life.

I’ve gone up and down. Up and down. Tried so many different things. Some worked, some injured me, some totally didn’t work.

But, I’ve found a method that works. I even feel like I’ve found my new spiritual path. My new church.

What is it? It’s the gym. And Overeaters Anonymous.

It sounds simple, but the gym has become where I go to meditate, connect and go further within myself. I’ve avoided the gym. Pushed myself to go. Hated it. Tried to Love it.

But, something happened this week. I pushed myself to the point of total muscle failure and then willed myself to do one more pull up. And in that moment I release a cathartic scream and with it, it felt like I released a lifetime of pent up self-defeating emotions. After this rep. After the yell, I felt a wave of self-respect wash over me that I’ve never felt in my life. Something changed. And I’m not sure what it was. But it’s different.

Afterwards, I didn’t binge on sugar because I felt like I needed a reward. I just had my normal balanced meal. And after the meal was a peace that goes beyond any understanding. It lasted all night.

What was this peace? It felt like self respect. Self-love. Something I had earned. In that moment, I trusted myself. It was an experience I didn’t know I could have sober. And yet, there it was.

I know that this is temporary. And it will change. But it’s such a shift from last week, when I felt so stressed I wanted to eat a whole birthday cake (but didn’t).

I realized that self-esteem is earned by doing esteemable acts. (Tweet-worthy!) I’ve had a moment of awakening. My prayer is to be able to hold onto it and cultivate more of these moments in my life. Have you ever had a moment like that?

As always, the action happens in the comments below, leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Lots of LOVE from Phoenix,


Click here to RSVP for our Phoenix, AZ event on Mar 1
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P.P.S. I’m coming to Hamburg and London for Hay House Ignite! Get your tickets now!

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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you from the blog and leave the rest.

  • Tina

    Hi Mastin, this spoke to me as I am on day 6 of choosing to let go of desserts and sugar. I have always identified myself to be a sugar addict and sugar to be my source of comfort. This week has been full of different emotions and I have surprisingly felt EMPOWERED by letting sugar no longer control Me! I too feel it’s an action of self love and try to see this as life changing! I am capturing this feeling as I know it is temporary. I also exercised every day this week!

  • Shaundra

    Wow. Thanks for sharing Mastin. That is so deep how you pushed yourself just a little more, yet gained so much. I think the power is in the SELF realization, and how you hold onto that moment to lead your future direction. Your post is inspiring to me, as I’m still working to get there myself, and stay in self-love rather than self indulgence (because “I deserve it” – the treat or sweets after an accomplishment). Self respect and love is worth more and feels sweeter than anything you could taste.

  • Sandy

    Hi Mastin, I too have experienced a shift (1/30/14). I was addicted to sugar since I was a child (I’m 53). After reading, Shift by Tory Johnson, something shifted inside of me. It urged me to recall a past addiction, smoking, (quit almost 13 yrs ago 5/5/01) & what I did to be so successful. I avoided the 1st drag, & still do although I no longer think about it. As long as I committed to not taking A drag I would remain a nonsmoker. With sugar I am committed to avoiding the 1st bite. I realized I put a meaning to sugar, other than an infrequent treat, 1 bite was never enough, I spent the day & night in search of my next fix or high (candy bar). I am committed to never taking another bite of sugar, not even birthday cake. Yup, I am on a mission. I don’t see it as missing out or that I will fall apart never having any of it ever again. If anything sugar, my addiction, has caused me to miss out on good health, respect for me & my body & that is no longer okay with me. I am okay & I will get through this. I threw away excuses, justifications, doubt & fear & am now embracing loving self-care, self-trust, & self-acceptance. I absolutely know I’ve got this! In 1 month my blood pressure has had a significant decrease & my weight is down 4.5 lbs. Those are external cues to gauge how my body is responding. I’ve already been to 1 birthday party & politely refused cake. No one pushed when I said, “I’m on a mission.” Seemed to work. Best wishes on your success!

  • Rita

    Hi Mastin, your post today spoke to me so much (as all of them do, but this one particularly). I am wearing the ‘i give up’ hat… forever looking for that thing that will help me get on track… that tool….. that whatever… in search always. Interesting that you mention OA; the thought of adding one more appointment to my crazy schedule might just have the adverse effect. Interesting feedback from the comments as well. Thank you and with much love.

  • RC

    Hey, you upgraded your picture on your e-mail notifications. Yay!!! I love that smile. Please do the same here! Share the love you have with your wonderful smile!!!!!! It made me smile when I first saw it yesterday! 😀

  • Tony

    On yesterdays survey & subject you can have the daily love daily, maybe you don’t post every day,

  • P

    Hi Mastin! I’m new to DL. Saw you on Super Soul Sunday. I just wanted to tell you I’m so loving these emails. Today’s Tweetworthy “self-esteem is earned by doing esteemable acts” feels so poignant to me and I KNOW I will be repeating that to myself. Such a simple, beautiful message that cuts through the BS.. Makes me feel like OH I GET IT NOW! Thank you for the positive words this Sat AM!! 🙂 sending happy thoughts your way!

  • Kim

    Mastin, that was an amazing story of your gym experience. I’m in a tumultuous relationship with the gym myself. I experience such moments of clarity and focus while I am there, yet I have to force myself to go. Well you just made me feel better knowing I’m not the only one struggling with that. My battle is with myself. I need to get over that. Thanks again Mastin.

  • Victoria Perpetua

    Just wanted to say THANKS! While doing Kundalini this morning, I reached the point I think of as my “fear point,” or the point in which I’m afraid to go any further during camel pose without seriously hurting myself. This morning I thought of you and that final pull up, and I pushed myself through it. And you know what? I didn’t hurt myself.

  • suzanne

    Oh Yes! Recently pushed up into a backbend (in yoga) after several attempts over weeks/months. I ignored the voice “you can’t…” and did it anyway. That is my theme today. I am fearless; do it anyway – what do I have to lose… As a result I feel powerful, peaceful and loved. Loved by me AND know I am enough without having to hear it from anyone else. The small voice inside – my HP – I can finally hear.

  • carlos

    Thanks Mastin.
    Word for the day: SELF -RESPECT.
    Love it.

  • Kaysee

    I have that similar feeling when I finish and do well in a class I really love at school. I feel a sense of pride in my work and in myself. I think it is a form of self-love when you do things for yourself, to better yourself for yourself and others. It is a very peaceful feeling when you slowly build yourself, mentally and physically, without a sense of urgency or pressure.

  • I love this Mastin, I have told people for years, that the Gym is part of my meditation routine. I feel totally cleansed after a hard workout, where I am pushing myself beyond my perceived limits. I think this is a metaphor for life. I also have suffered off and on again with eating disorders, which totally came from a lack of self-love, and non-acceptance of the feelings I DIDN’T want to feel. Using a 12 step program, acting your way into right thinking, accepting the stressful emotions we don’t want to feel, and admitting we are powerless over our minds (at least until we can retrain them) is an awesome beginning. Know that some days your mind will convince you, the GYM experience won’t be as rewarding, but when you don’t listen, and push through anyway, you will come out on the other side with another small victory, and one more esteem-able act in the cosmic bank. Sending self-love your way. Be well Megyn

  • Amy

    Mastin, this blog in particular has really inspired and moved me. I’m really grateful for you! Best, Amy.

  • Great piece today Mastin! Yes, I too have experienced this exact same shift for the same reasons. I was once overweight, and I too, hated the gym. It wasn’t until I was about too lose everything in my life, did I decide that nothing was going to stop me from getting my butt there everyday. I told myself if I just drove myself to the parking lot, I was there- might as well go in. So I went in, did my workouts. I reached for just one more rep, just 10 more mins on the dumb cardio machines! As I kept just getting myself to the parking lot, and just kept dragging myself in, my body began to change and so did my self-esteem. I have talked a little bit about it before in my articles, but I ended up losing 72 pounds, I now run marathons and have a plant-based diet. This all started 15 years ago….. Not bad for a guy in his mid-40’s…

    Im SUPER proud of you M!!! Keep it up! The more you do, the less that birthday cake will be calling your name.. 😉
    Big Love, Drew

  • ashley

    when i had the courage to say no. thx!

  • David H. Breaux

    Hi Mastin,

    Thank you for sharing part of your journey and the wisdom on eating/living healthy.

    With compassion,
    David H. Breaux

  • Teresa

    Good morning to you over there in Phoenix !!! 4 1/2 years ago I decided to train for a dead lifting competition… It seemed exciting and challenging. When I make a decision, I’m all in. In 9 months I went from being able to lift 60 pounds in training and lower weights in all exercises to 260 pounds at the competition and winning my division!!! I am a small person… 130 pounds at the time… The feeling you describe I know because it washed over me that day… It was an orgasmic, exhilarating peace. The level of belief I have in myself grew exponentially… I am proud of myself. I learned something very valuable about myself on that day that has stayed with me… Thank you for reminding me of that feeling today… Although the level of belief has stayed with me mostly, because I’ve had my moments, the feeling on that day sometimes eludes me… Congratulations to you as well!!! That is a huge accomplishment you achieved 🙂 I also reached a goal this past week… At my job I do research and developement that result in setting appointments… If I reach 60 my pay scale goes higher … I have averaged 45 each month and that is considered an incredible feat… Well, I went for it!!! I have dreams that require money so I went full steam ahead… A little voice in my head was like ” maybe not” , ” that’s a lot of appointments Teresa”, “… I was doubting myself and feeling like it is wrong to want the money because I have always disliked people who are ” like that” … What I mean by that is people who think they are better than others, pretentious people, arrogant people who don’t have their priorities straight and put money and their job ahead of the ones they love… Ahead of an actual person versus a material item… Well, that is old stuff coming up from my childhood. It is not true that all people with money are like that , some are… It is also true that people who don’t have money posses those traits as well… There was also an underlying feeling of being worth it and deserving… Believing in myself… Then I remind myself of the goals I have achieved when I have proven to myself, like dead lifting, that I am capable and I CAN DO IT!!! I did it… I got 64 appointments 🙂 WOW! What an accomplishment, right? Then, Friday morning, my boss comes over to my desk and says that one of the managers went to one of the appointment time I set and the guy was on the phone and said to leave the information… That appointment doesn’t count!!! At that point I had 60 appointments so it would’ve knocked me back to 59, the lower pay scale… I expressed how I felt that it isn’t write for me to be held responsible on my end for these business owners not to keep their word… I was thorough when setting the appointment. I was accused of being defensive… I was instantly deflated… No wind in these sails at all… I allowed him to take away my accomplishment , for a moment, then my voice said … WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE HERE!!! I reached my goal! I accomplished a huge amount for the company!!! He can’t take that away from me at all and I am not going to let him… I spoke to two other managers throughout the day, not specifically for that reason, but the subject came up and they were cheerleaders for me… They said he is projecting his stress into me and let it go by… Don’t let his “stuff” affect my great accomplishment … I did know that all on my own but at the same time it was soooo great to hear… I write all this because yesterday was a huge shift for me in that I don’t need outside approval to make my accomplishments matter. They matter because I reached my personal goal for myself and ACCOMPLISHED IT!!! (Tweet worthy) LOL… Thank you for being here Mastin!!! You and Jenna along with your attendees have an amazing day !!!

  • Marie

    I am always inspired by your blog, but today hit me in many ways. I started at the gym (the place I avoided until this year) and to make it work for me I hired a personal trainer twice a week. I figured if I could learn how to work out properly perhaps I would like it more. I must say I go to the gym Monday through Friday now and I absolutely look forward to it. I can see changes happening within me as well as physically. I had weight loss surgery 18 months ago and although I have done wonderfully well, it is a tool and did not stop the food being shoved in my mouth. Gaining some confidence at the gym and seeing some breakthroughs have me stopping to evaluate what is going inside. Never a fan of mirrors and having to look at them in the gym to check form – is still difficult, but I’m beginning to like me a bit more. Wonders never cease. Thanks for the opportunity to share.

  • Sarah Bug

    In grad school I was I introduced to the idea of self compassion rather than self esteem. Self compassion is the idea of loving yourself for exactly who you are, LOVE. Professor Kristin Neff from the University of Texas has a whole website dedicated to self compassion. As a therapist my only goal when working with my clients is for them to develop self compassion. Life is much simpler and exciting when we love exactly who we are.

  • Kat

    My dear Mastin, I had a similar awakening just this past week. It was while doing my daily Self Love yoga Kryia with the lovely Sat Siri (video). There was a moment where I realized, in my cells, that I did not have to hold tight to my pain, that I could release it and be happy and loved in that moment. It was a life-changing moment. What was previously a ‘concept’ I’d heard: Let it go! became an EXPERIENCE. I felt so free and spacious and peaceful. I have you to thank Mastin – for my time with you and Sat Siri in Maui. Much Love to you!!

  • Yey! Good for you and so uplifting (pardon the pun) to read! I think we might fool ourselves to believe we deserve and get a “reward” but what it really is, is just a covert punishment enforcing that “we can’t do better”. When we do, the craving also disappears. To me personally, being more allowing and most of all waiting a little often produce less stress and a better result. Let the endorphins flow!

  • Amy

    OA is anonymous… Please read tradition twelve.

  • Stine

    I’m so happy for you, Mastin! This was truly inspiring. Sat nam!

  • Betsy

    Hey Mastin!
    Thx for all that you share! I had this experience in 1990 when I was 50, & am still going to the gym 5 days a week & in recovery from sugar addiction & compulsive overeating. I am so grateful for both to this day. I have a strong healthy body & take no meds. It’s a great way to live, one day at a time! Much love to you all in Phoenix! Betsy

  • RP

    I had a moment – actually about three hours – of ecstatic well-being one afternoon. This was during my first day back in NYC after having spent four days in Santa Fe, NM on a short vacation. During my days in Santa Fe (this was in 1997), I spent most of the time crying and I couldn’t really pinpoint exactly why. In retrospect, it was a lifetime of pent-up pain and unexpressed anger that had finally surfaced. When I returned to NYC, I threw out my cigarettes (1.5 pack a day habit for 18 years) and came out to my family. That afternoon, I felt ecstatically happy and at peace and just sat with it and savored it. I haven’t felt that kind of peace since – only in snippets – but have felt stronger ever since. That must be the state the most advanced souls exist in most of the time, I imagine.

  • Thank you for this Mastin! And love the link to OA. I myself am going through a period of what I call “emotional eating” and have been searching for ways to control it.

  • Vanessa Waters

    So funny and cool that you mention this breakthrough with your body and mind. It is all interconnected. I have been on this spiritual healing path my whole life but it wasn’t until I started to finally lose the weight that I had accumulated over the years that I started to feel much more love for myself.

    NOT BECAUSE OF MY BODY SHAPE AT ALL but because I was ready to release whatever it was that was stored in that fat. Part of which I think is my identity as a victim of sexual abuse. I feel like my weight was perpetuating the shame because I felt ashamed.

    When I was younger I tried to exercise and I would just cry a lot and get stuck in weight plateaus. I would have needed a therapist to work through it but I didn’t realize how much the two were connected.

    Now I get stuck and cry but I have stopped beating myself up. I am grateful for the beautiful healthy body I have. I am proud of where I am at this point. Seemingly effortlessly I have lost over 40 lbs over 2 years through this kindness.

    I give myself more room. I take care of what I put in my body. I exercise and I feel like anything is possible!