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Here’s how to take your power back!

To listen to the audio version of this blog, click here.

The most powerful tool we have at our disposal is the power of choice. Almost everything that happens in our lives is the result of a choice that we have made. And for the things that happen in our lives that we didn’t choose to have happen – how we CHOOSE to respond to these events is still our choice.

Choice is everything. And what I’ve come to see after doing TDL for so many years and working with thousands of people is that a lot of folks don’t think they have a choice in their life. It is not until we investigate where their actions come from that we discover they actually DO have the power to choose.

We don’t always get to choose what happens in life, but we do get to choose how we respond to what happens. There is a BIG difference between reaction and response. Reaction is when something happens and we just react – without thinking. It’s like the animal in us takes over and wants to either fight or run. We react with defensiveness, judgment or shock. We react with anger or even hate. We react with disgust. We react with all kinds of emotions that don’t represent our highest nature.

I’ve come to believe that our journey is to first become aware of how we react and not make it wrong. To understand that we and everyone we know are doing the best that they can from their point of view. And we can investigate where these reactions come from. And slowly over time we begin to see that when things trigger us “out there” – there is a precious space in between something happening and our reaction. And in this space we now have a choice – a choice of how we want to respond.

To me, the ability to respond is far more powerful than unconscious reaction. This is respons-ibility is – the ability to respond. And in this space, where we can choose, lay our power.

What are we going to make this mean? And why? What’s the root of the trigger I’m having? What do I have to believe about life to have this reaction? And then what do I want to believe about life, what empowering perspective can I take that will allow me to see the lesson in this moment and then let it go?

This is like spiritual fitness training. Emotional muscle building. To be able to choose a response instead of be at the whims of our unconscious reactions.

So, where in your life are you triggered and are you willing to take a moment beyond your trigger to go in and investigate where it came from? Leave a comment down below and let’s discuss! TDL comes alive in the comment section, so if you need any help or have any questions, let’s discuss! Also, the TDL family is always down to help you, too!

Until tomorrow – lots of LOVE,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

If you are ready to kick fear in the butt (lovingly, of course)  – join me September 24 – 28 for my latest virtual course Love Uni-versity: Discover the Wisdom of your FearClick here to check it out!

It’s a RAD 5 Day immersion class to turn your fear into power! AND – if you are in LA and want to join me for super private Group Mentoring LIVE in Hollywood! Click here  to join me LIVE in LA!

  • A Follower

    Wow Mastin, your’e blogs always  seem to come to me at the right time. My divorce was final one year ago today, after 25 years of marriage to someone I believed was my soulmate. He was living a double life and I had to stop reacting and responding to his hurtful behaviors. I had to make a choice to take my life back and live for “ME”. It wasn’t easy to walk away but I have  grown in many ways being on my own. Thanks TDL….I start my morning every day with you. It puts life into perspective.

    • Michelle

      Me too. It’s like TDL speaks to me every day and what I’m working on post-divorce after 18 years.

  • <3EndBullying<3

    Can I add that silent judgement, covert aggression and ignoring are “reactions” as well? Even when nothing is being said, hostility and intentional resistance and anger  can be felt. Anger, jealousy and envy are energies, whether exerted outwardly or via hostile silence or via covert aggression. I’m finding that people believe when they say they’re “chill” , because they don’t “react” outwardly, that their energy isn’t still coming across loud and clear. Iyanla says, “Covert nastiness is violent.” Those who emote are always looked upon unfavorably but it gives a lot of room for people to be hurtful in a covert manner without believing themselves to be bullies. To get upset when anger is being directed at you is different than being intentionally hurtful towards others. We are human because of what we feel, so emotions aren’t negative. How we choose to display those emotions at times or all of the time can be negative. But, yes, we all have a choice whether to respond or react either way. “When we know better, we do better.”

  • Breathe2bfit

    I agree with what you are saying about responsibility, and there are also tools you can use that easily assist your subconscious mind in being re-programmed. Think of it this way: If you are going to re-paint your house, shouldn’t you in invest in the right tools? It would be awfully hard to paint your house with a toothbrush. By the same token, it is going to be hard to change if you still have the same subconscious programming (software) running as before. Change your programming; change your life. More easily and with less struggle. You’re being just as responsible as if you haven’t struggled as much, after all, isn’t it the desired OUTCOME we are al seeking?

    Would be happy to post links to sources, but only with permission from moderator.

    • Breathe2bfit

      all*

  • Louk

    Boy I KNOW my triggers. I tend to be a deer in the headlights filled with fear at times when I NEED to be fearless. My Mother was bi polar so you can imagine I grew up never knowing if it was going to be a fabulous day or if I was going to have to be the Mommy.Most times I get over the fear but when it comes to deep emotions I really have to breathe and take a good look at what I am going through. Still at age 55 I have lost out on many opportunities because of fear but I HAVE learned to forgive myself for it and to move forward.

  • Annieorganic

    I love what you write.  I just had an incident with my partner where w both reacted very poorly at of pure emotions and it did not end up nicely!   We said things we did not mean and then look back and feel so terrible about it.  The damage is done and words can be so hurtful?  Why are we so angry, why are we caught up in stress in life?  How do we make it calm, peaceful and blissful??

  • FOOF

    I love what you write.  I just had an incident with my partner where w
    both reacted very poorly at of pure emotions and it did not end up
    nicely!   We said things we did not mean and then look back and feel so
    terrible about it.  The damage is done and words can be so hurtful?  Why
    are we so angry, why are we caught up in stress in life?  How do we
    make it calm, peaceful and blissful??

  • lingling lan

    I just got this in a big way. I always dreaded turn-overs, big changes. I recently had a turn=over of roommates moving in and out where I still reside. I think because I had already developed a cordial friendship with the previous tenants, I chose not to interact much with the new guys. Now that just made my life just that much harder. I blamed life for not giving me people I can click with, instead I feel like these new guys just don’t share the same interests as I do. In a way, I hadn’t gotten over the fact that my past roommates have all moved on, and I’m still harbouring past emotions. What I got from this post was, there’s a reason why people come AND go out of my life and I choose how that will determine my destiny or legacy. If I were to see someone for the last time and instill something genuine and good, that creates karmic energy for me. If I don’t, I’m stuck with this bad karmic energy that gets carried into new relationships that I find I’m having a hard time creating, or “fitting in”. I think my work is, I really need to empower myself to empower other people, because if I don’t I can never empower myself. I really shouldn’t get hurt because I have to say good-bye, but rather give myself permission to check off one more thing on my to-do list, which is to always be an inspirating/refreshing presence for one person and then the next, so that by wishing them well, they’ll wish me well. Right now, I’m dealing with the aftermath of NOT doing so, so I got a figure out a way to get out of this awkward and uncomfortable space of not feeling like I fit in this world. I hope I can figure it out soon…

  • Carrie_B

    Another great blog. Keep up the fantastic work!

  • http://butterflymaiden7.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

    I trigger myself mostly with my 5 year old son.  Notice I said, “Trigger myself.”  A huge part of my spiritual walk comes with RESPONSIBLE LANGUAGE.  Because he has Sensory Processing Disorder and many other question-mark challenges- he more often than not takes his frustrations out on my husband and I. He has the ability to show up as an angel everywhere else. Many moments I frustrate myself with his unsavory actions.  I am CHOOSING now to  take a deep breath and use one of the Pathways from a Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes Jr.  My favorite one is …”I feel with loving compassion the problem of others’ without getting caught up emotionally in their predicaments that are offering them messages they need for their growth”  By saying this pathway silently with his name or mine in it, I calm myself down and then like magic- he often calms himself too.  I then pull up the wisdom to know what to do with his actions.  If I am in a “HEAD SPACE” and projecting my fears onto him as my reaction-the tantrums can reach dramatic levels. So like you said Mastin, “CHOICE IS EVERYTHING!”  I choose to accept my God approved contract with him. I choose to learn from him. I choose to be of service to others’ with challenges. I choose  Love.  I choose Love. I choose Love. butterflymaiden7.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.facebook.com/anthony.meindl Anthony Meindl

    The ability to choose is a powerful gift!

  • Alexandra Choi

    Hi Mastin and TDL!  This post couldn’t have come at a better time.  I found out yesterday that my blog, The Diary Of The THRIVING Actress, just disappeared.  Two and half years of weekly blogging…pouring my heart and Soul into it.  Gone.  And just when it started to get a steady and growing readership.  I felt like each post was my baby and it helped me heal through lots.  And to have it disappear..I felt angry and helpless.  But, the cool thing is, my Higher Self has been kicking into gear more.  I probably spent 30 min freaking out but, I let it go.  I LET IT GOOOOO.  I think it was time to let all that go.  I learned from it, I healed from it, and no need to hold on to it.  So, it’s free, and I’m free.  Thank you for the post.  I gave myself a tap on my shoulder because I see I’m ‘responding’ rather than ‘reacting’ more these days.  LOVE, Alex.  :)

  • Sam

    Wow.. I read your emails every day Mastin, but this one hit at the EXACT right time.  Thanks man.  

  • dap

    of all the possible choices I can make, I choose appreciation–the knowledge that when I wake up each morning and go out into my day I have the potential to create tremendous value with each and every circumstance that I meet up with…

  • Michelle

    I have been practicing responding rather than reacting. I’m learning that when I take the time to think first, I am calm and settled about my response and can be unconcerned what the receiver things about what I had to say. By not reacting to my ex-husband’s crazy accusations, insinuations, pity parties, and the like in the reactionary way, I feel settled and the crazy from him is shut down. Seems sort of like snuffing out a flame and I LOVE IT!!

  • http://twitter.com/AdeyemiDawodu Adeyemi Dawodu

    Very interesting piece. A must read for everyone to know better how to handle any situations one is been facing.

  • DLB716

    I truly do not know how to begin.  I am a product of abuse (physical, mental and sexual).  I feel as though I have absolutely no control over my own decisions.  Trying to stand up to my husband puts him on the offensive.  I live my life with him doing exactly as he wants, behaving as he wants, looking the way he wants me to look, saying what he wants me to say.  Any time I express a desire, it is brushed as off as stupid.  If I want to do something as simple as have dinner with a girlfriend, he accuses me of infidelity, then turns the tables to accuse me of trying to shut him out of my life.  He has refused marital counseling.  I try leaving and he cries and begs me to stay.  I don’t wish to hurt him.  For me to be happy, I must hurt him.  To keep him happy, I must be miserable.