Here’s how you can find COMFORT in the unknown!

March 13, 2013 by Mastin Kipp 31 Comments

Anyone who has ever been successful has taken risks. And I’d venture to say that anyone who has stuck with it long enough and succeeded is now MORE comfortable taking risks than they are staying in their comfort zone!

Wait, what?

That’s right – successful people are COMFORTABLE outside their comfort zone. Isn’t that a crazy oxymoron?

I’ll say it again – successful people are COMFORTABLE outside their comfort zone!

Why is this? Because after you’ve gotten a few wins under your belt, chances are you’ve probably also had a TON of failure. But, you also see that as you take risks, as you step out, as you try and try and try – eventually things work out.

If we’ve never taken a risk, or only done so halfheartedly, then there is NO WAY we could ever have this experience. And so, they don’t know what’s REALLY possible. And most likely – they are taking advice from people who haven’t given it their all either and so you have mediocrity validating mediocrity!

If you want to rise, start taking advice from people who have what you want. If you are taking advice from people who have never been there, it’s kind of like asking for directions to somewhere in Europe asking someone who’s only lived in Hawaii. ASK PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE!

And what you will find is that INVISIBLE HANDS guide you. And The Uni-verse is MUCH kinder than you are to yourself. And things work out. We tend to always imagine the worst-case scenario and MOST of the time the worst case scenario NEVER happens. The only thing that REALLY happens is that we create a new result. And we can LEARN from that result. If we label the result FAILURE, we’ll stop. If we label the result A LESSON, we can learn from it and keep going.

And if we stick with things LONG ENOUGH, they WILL work out. And over time, we begin to become MORE secure in UNCERTAINTY than we are in CERTAINTY. This is the paradox of life. When we can find certainty IN the uncertainty, we know that we have arrived.

So – in YOUR life, where are you uncertain? What risks do you REALLY want to take? Whose advice are you following? Are you talking to people who have BEEN where you want to go, or are you asking a native Hawaiian how to get to the Eiffel Tower?

As always, the action happens in the comments below. Leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Love from Bali,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the founder and CEO of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

Join Mastin & master Kundalini Yoga teacher Sat Siri on 3/30 in Hollywood at Golden Bridge Yoga for an evening of Kundalini Yoga & Kipp Heart Therapy. Take a 3 hour journey from your head to your heart. RSVP here.

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Uncle Jay

Perhaps successful people just have larger comfort zones?
http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

I totally agree that the more risks you take, the less scary it gets. I have changed jobs so many times at this point in my life, it IS comfortable to me now. It actually IS comfortable stepping away from the known, into the unknown. Because I’ve done it over and over (and over), I KNOW that it ALWAYS works out! I KNOW I’ll find another job that I like more than the one I’m currently doing and miserable in. So I don’t force myself to stay in the miserable job.
Often when I talk to people and conversation turns to jobs, and my job history, most people respond with “Well, most people could never do that.” Why? B/c most people let fear rule their lives. B/c they DON’T know that everything will work out, so they’re afraid to take the chance and find out. But let me assure you, speaking from experience, you WILL be just fine! Step out there! DO whatever it is you feel your heart pulling you to do.
I think one of the saddest things is seeing someone work at a job they really don’t care for, or stay in a relationship that’s not fulfilling for them, b/c they’re afraid of the unknown. They choose their known unhappiness over the risk of greater unhappiness. What? What about actually BEING happy? Lol… I’ll stop there. Clearly this is a topic I’m passionate about.

Sarah
http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/03/give-yourself-permission-to-weed-out.html
- Danielle Jasmine
  
  So I am on the brink of a major shift in my career and leaving the known behind. I am scared, but am moving into the fear because I know with great risk, comes great reward. Mastin’s blog and your post resonated with me as I’m working hard towards feeling more comfortable in the unknown, leaving that sure thing behind for the promise of greatness. I say promise, not possibility because I know I will succeed, I just have to believe it in the core of my being. Thanks to you both!
  - http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
    
    Danielle,
    That’s awesome!! I wish you the very best!!
    Sarah
- Brandi Bruns
  
  Thank you, Sarah. I am in the middle of the exploration part of life after leaving an unrewarding job and setting off on a path that will be more fulfilling. I am living in complete uncertainty in my life right now and it would be paralyzing if I didn’t fully believe that I’m in the exact right place to be at this time of my life. I remind myself of that daily. I have to because uncertainty is not familiar territory for me. So thank you for saying what you said. It was a much needed reminder and I am grateful. Be well.
  - http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
    
    Brandi,
    I’m glad my comment could reassure you. I think it’s awesome that you’re taking a chance! No matter WHAT happens, you will be ok. But it sounds like you know that.
- Dee
  
  I loved what you said here too Sarah. That’s so great, and I couldn’t agree more. I’m pretty similar to you in that I don’t stick around and be miserable and take a chance on life. Be the example. I love the blog by Mastin where he states….just because somebody else is living their nightmare, doesn’t mean you have to
  - http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
    
    “Be the example” I love that!
- thomassk
  
  I’m in the same situation, Sarah Noel. I’m even changing career fields now, and it’s rather exciting to venture into the unknown, because I know it will be o.k. It’s all survivable. I’m finally heeding the Universe messages and leaving a thankless industry. I finally have the courage to leave it and step into the unknown – a chance at true happiness and fulfillment.
  - http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
    
    Congrats!! It’s always so exciting (and scary) to step out into the unknown. That’s SO awesome that you’re tapping into the courage you have inside you to make that change! I’m excited for you!
ahaafrica

Have had two opportunities this week to be of service but which meant taking a BIG leap out of my comfort zone so your blog is a great read and reminder to stay out of the comfort zone and do it! Aha moment for me in this read: “mediocrity validating mediocrity!” – WOW! Thanks for a great share!
http://www.findhealthyliving.com/ Chiyoko Osborne

Great summary of how we evolve and get stronger with the more risks we take! With each risk our horizons open, as do our hearts, as do opportunities we never dreamed possible.
An additional comment to what Mastin wrote – sometimes when the “worst case scenario” does happen, it actually ends up being the BEST case scenario in the long run; you just couldn’t see that at the time. Example being a break up… someone might think it’s the worst thing to risk lose a companion/being alone, but in the end that relationship was not serving them at all and there is someone who’s a way better match coming their way! Just might not feel like it at the time – hang in there
Sonia

Mastin,
I want you to know that I really enjoy reading your blog everyday. I like the way you express your ideas with a good balance of humor and seriousness and I like your courage to expose yourself so honestly and sharing your strengh as well as your weaknesses. Thanks for being you and God bless you!
Drew

I am uncertain most of the time these days than I ever was. This has made for amazing life changes and new ways of thinking. I cant even believe that I used to THINK the crappy thoughts I used to think or even be able to accomplish what I have. I have yet to feel “comfort” in the uncertainty, but I sure LOVE the outcomes and the path that I walk now.. Thank you Mastin..
Lots of Love Buddy!
Drew
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000392107784 Anita Richards

Definitely not taking advice from the “play it safers” any longer. Taken a BIG plunge in the deep end this week. Sink or swim… but I really rather think that I’ve already started swimming.
Thanks for the inspiration Mastin!
Brightest blessings.
http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

I am taking a BIG risk. We just taped our first “Living Love Class” with my mentor, Cinnamon Lofton. AND, it could definitely be perceived as…NOT Love. What? Huh? Our class is not about watching some master who chooses Enlightenment moment to moment while listening to her talk. On the contrary, our class is about DOING the work in order to be FREE. Our class is about exposing our biggest fears, our EGO, our addictions, and letting her guide us back to sanity (Love). This is about TRUE REALITY!!! Where we cleanse and purge. Sometimes letting go. Sometimes not. Just like REALITY. It is hard enough to expose ourselves in class with other people. But, to expose our trash to the world? Wheeww..now that is the ultimate act of courage. After all, WHAT ARE PEOPLE GOING TO THINK? Not many people allow themselves to be VULNERABLE. Instead, alcohol, drugs, food, smoking, work, sex, power, and you name it push those childhood hurts down so low that most people are SLEEPING in their denial. Walking around like a robot THINKING they are happy. I know I was. I still am. I also know in my heart that FREEDOM will follow to serve the world in this way. I have been going to LL Class for 3 years and God’s Invisible Hands gave us the most INTENSE class ever on the very first day of taping. So RAW and REAL that someone (who forgot the camera was there) may decide she wants OUT. She is the key player, and the draw for people to see how addiction does NOT work. And, I have no doubt you will see her transformation before your eyes. Why? Because I know…LOVE WORKS. And, so does she. How does she know this? Because she is… Cinnamon’s daughter.
Stay tuned…The Daily Commenter,Kathleenare-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/
http://www.monicaberron.com/ Monica

I love the native Hawaiian metaphor here! It’s easy for me to get too attached to what loved ones say who aren’t on my path. Thank you Mastin for reminding me who to talk to. Kudos to everyone taking big leaps. Enjoy the thrill! Never a dull moment in that perspective
http://www.facebook.com/jewell.ridley Jewell Mimms Ridley

Fearless

Why put yourself out there when there is so much more to lose
Things just don’t seem to work out no matter which road you choose
You want what’s best for everyone so you go that extra mile
Leading the cheer from the sidelines, always supportive with a smile

But plans didn’t proceed in the manner that you had hoped
Left with all this confusion and grief, finding new ways to cope
Always second guessing yourself, wondering if your motives were pure
Was my heart always in the right place? I can never be 100% sure

Then someone comes along who treats you with honor and respect
An angel sent from heaven, but you’re still hesitant to accept
Still can’t help but wonder why others were so quick to reject
The very same gifts offered before, can’t help being a little suspect

We all know there is a time to mourn, a time to cry and a time to grieve
There is also a time to rise up and to move on, past hurts you must leave
Takes courage to put yourself out there, expecting the best just one more time
Each time becoming more fearless, each time putting old grudges behind

Denying yourself daily is easier said than done
But so many more doors can be opened, so many more battles can be won
Put the spirit of God in front of you, you’re only part of His process
The outcome will no longer matter, God will guarantee everyone’s success.

© 2009 Jewell Mimms Ridley
Sara

This is really true Mastin. I have become a risk taker over the years when I realized that staying in my comfort zone wasn’t bringing me any fulfillment. I left a secure job in 2008, just before the recession and joined the Peace Corps going across the world to a country I had never heard of and didn’t speak any of the language. I challenged myself and grew so much. After I came home 2 years later, I found I was stuck again and decided to quit my unfulfilling job and move across the country to try and make a life on the west coast. After some patience and persistence, 6 months later I finally received a job offer. While I was ambivalent to get into the dating world again, I did and have found someone that I’m really connecting with.

I definitely feel that “no risk, no reward” is very true and I am beginning to feel that I’m okay with being out of my comfort zone more than in it. Thanks for this!
Todd McCollough

Vulnerability. Equals. Growth! Scrap the fear and go!
Tal

It’s true, once we step out of our
comfort zone, so many things happen in favour for us that we couldn’t
have imagined while staying in a super safe, risk-free zone!

I have found that I feel MORE unsettled when in a comfortable zone than when I’m taking risks, as scary as taking the risk seems. Stepping out is like telling the universe ‘I’m ready!’ no matter how scared we are, and the universe never fails to reward courageous actions.
Randi

Thank you thank you so much Mastin for this post today…..exactly what i needed. I’ve been stuck in a rut for a long time. I have big plans for myself and my family but have been too scared to move forward with my business plans. I have complete confidence that it will work out, but for some reason I’m too comfortable where I’m at. The unknown IS scary…but the ultimate goal is to step into the unknown…bigger things happen outside of our comfortable little box! Be who you WANT to be…dont just stay stuck where you are because its familiar!
http://www.quarterlifecall.com/ Teela Hammell

Great article! It recently occurred to me that when Winston Churchill said, “Never, ever give up,” he was apparently talking about your passion, not about all of the things you have to give up, just so that you can never, ever give up. In the last two years I’ve moved to Ecuador, started a business, and non-profit. My life is full of quitting, and the unknown. I love that Mastin gives some love to the other side of accomplishments. If you want to hear more about my journey, and read what I have to say about quitting, you can check it out here: http://www.quarterlifecall.com/2/post/2013/02/quitters-have-more-fun-and-better-health-invest-your-attention-wisely-its-the-best-predictor-of-your-future.html
Dee

I would say stepping out of your comfort zone is easy, the initial step is a piece of cake. What is really scary is when, because of stepping out, all of a sudden a huge opportunity comes your way. Following through that opportunity and turning it into something real is what IS SCARY!! it’s that pivotal point, when I realize you have been a balancing act of managing your fear & putting yourself out there, and then something happens as a result of that, and out comes the freak out. Learning to follow through with that, come what may, is where the real ‘stepping out of your comfort zone’ begins. Tips on how to follow it through? I guess you just hold your nose & jump. That’s the scary part, & seems to be true for men particularly (from my experiences).
Jeepgirl

So nice to see I’m not the only “weird one” out there! In two weeks, I will be leaving my job to embark on a 6 month thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail and trying to raise money for a couple charities. It just feels like the most sane thing I have done in the past 10 years! From the comments I’ve read here, looks like I’m in good company.
(Check out my adventure at Heatherhikes.com)
Ujama

I totally love this post and SO agree. Its come at a time in my life where I have to made the decision to venture into uncertainty and am looking for advise from those who are where I want to be! Thanks Mastin on point as always
Bonnielass35

Thank you, Mastin, once again for saying what I need to hear.   Its kind of crazy but when there’s a message that I really need to hear I end up seeing it every where and this happens all the time with your blog.

This message was again confirming my recent decision to stop going to school. I have been going to my local community college taking business classes while I figured out how to live my passion…which is to heal people…and there are many ways to heal people: physically, emotionally, etc.   I have a Pell Grant and I have dropped out of my classes 2 weeks ago to start on preparing myself to begin offering free life coaching to people in June.    I have a list of things I need to do to prepare myself.

I know I’ll have consequences to dropping out of school: i.e. paying back the Pell Grant eventually? However, I was so stressed, so full of anxiety, trying to work full time, going to school (taking economics ugh) all the while knowing that I should be doing something else and that school had become a disraction.

I talked with my boyfriend, who has always been so supportive of me, and he agreed that if that was what I needed to do, I should do it.

Yes, I’m still working full time since I do have to live, however, I am actually pushing forward and making progress in my goals even after only 2 weeks.    I feel at complete peace with my decision.

My intuition has never failed me.    I know that this is going to be an awesome year in learning, growth, and overcoming even more fears and living in uncertainty while being my authentic self!
Ocpat1

success to me is NOT about the career or money or involving myself with those that seem to know more but paying attention to family and friends and everyday occurances. and of course God. Him first. because if i pay attention to all that first, everything else will fall into place! namaste
thomassk

So true, Mastin – how often do we ask directions to the Eiffel Tower from someone in Hawaii??? Also good advice so I don’t give directions to someone on things that I know nothing about from experience. Good to know. I step out of my comfort zone, but not nearly often enough or far enough. You’re right, though – the more you do it, the safer it becomes – you learn that you will survive the worst that can happen – you will recover if the unthinkable happens.
thomassk

I completely believe that our lives are outside our comfort zone. There is only boredom in our comfort zone. To live outside is to finally live to our fullest potential.
Saima Qureshi

I agree but i also believe in calculated risk, which depends on the individual, my husband calculates for too long and then drops the idea, i evaluate/calculate for 30 seconds and if the feeling is right i do it.
Changed many many jobs in my life, each one taught me something new, went to buy a dress one day and bought the whole business and been running it for the last three years and never been happier. Everything i learnt from my previous jobs i have had to apply in my business, so yes the Universe is kinder to us than we are and path is sometimes just laid infront of us. We just have to be brave enough to take the ‘Risk’