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Here’s the GREAT news about rejection!

mk_treesRejection is never fun. In fact, of all the human experiences, rejection ranks towards the bottom in my book. It’s not as bad as starvation or torture, but sometimes it can feel that way, depending on who “rejected you”.

Of course, I’m kidding, but rejection is one of those things that we all must go through, but it’s never fun or enjoyable.

And, back in the days when I was single, no matter what my friends would tell me “rejection is protection” or “rejection is redirection” – in the moment, it just plain sucked.

But, what I’ve learned – because I’ve been rejected A LOT – especially in the romantic realm, are a few things.

Here they are.

You can’t be rejected if you don’t reject yourself. Huh? What does that mean? Many times when we face rejection, we personalize it. We make the circumstance of rejection far more than just a circumstance; it becomes a part of our identity. Not only are we not “worthy” for the other person, deep down we aren’t worthy to ourselves.

One of the practices that I got A LOT of experience with was reminding myself to come back to the knowing that I have awesome intrinsic value and just because a single person or string of people don’t want to be with me, doesn’t mean I’m not Lovable, worthy of Love or desirable. Ultimately what it means is that I’ve not found the right person yet.

Another thing I’ve learned is…

All rejection is leading you towards your ideal outcome. It’s REALLY hard to feel this in the moment, but it’s true. Part of success in any endeavor is tenacity – doesn’t matter if it’s a job, a business you want to start, your health or a relationship. Your constant effort is like a flowing river that eventually wears down the rock that is passes over. The goal is to not let the temporary pain of rejection make you stop flowing. Keep going. I’ve learned this in my own life, both in my relationship with the love of my life, Jenna, and with The Daily Love. I’ve failed at plenty of dates, been rejected by countless women and yet finally ended up with my person.  And I’m SO grateful for her!

The same thing is true in business. I started two companies that totally failed before The Daily Love(TDL). It was learning from these failures that gave me the insight I needed to eventually make TDL a success.

The Divine dwells within each rejection. Many times, we chase people or things that, quite frankly aren’t meant for us. If we had the skill of really tuning into our intuition, we would feel this almost immediately. Our intuition is never wrong.

But, we chase things out of a compulsive need to try to fill up some kind of unhappiness. So many times when we are “rejected,” the pain we feel is our work to do, so that eventually we can come into and develop a healthy relationship with The Divine, which sustains us better than any stuff and ultimately sets us up for the most fulfilling and happy life.

We learn through pain far greater than we learn through pleasure.

So, if the pain of rejection was sent from The Divine, you could never be rejected if you don’t reject yourself and all rejection is leading to your ideal outcome, how would you see your life today?

As always, the action happens in the comments below. Leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the founder and CEO of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

  • David McInnes

    Mastin, If you keep sharing “Blog”s such as this I’m going to have to strap my self into a chair as what you say ceases to amaze me! Everyone including me has heard “All Ultimately what it means is that I’ve not found the right person yet”. and “Ultimately what it means is that I’ve not found the right person yet”. I see it and have heard it many times over and I now realise I wasn’t acting or really believing what was said. I am now from this moment henceforth and I promise myself I will do as I say.

    Sincerely, forever indebted.

  • Dee

    Wow, truly a great post tonight. Round of applause really, what a way to look at things. What you said about intuition is so true, one thing that stops me in my tracks often, is fear of making the wrong decision…if I don’t chose person X, is i because I’m afraid or not really interested. If I end up with the new person, who I like also, will I be missing the latter. It’s like having two doors slightly open so the saying ‘one door closes another one opens, doesn’t really apply. And yet I stay in the same juxtaposition.

    • David McInnes

      we all miss the latter in some form as that’s why we had a connection with them in the first place. Go with your gut feeling and what you feel is right and who makes you happy so you cam be the real you without fear:)

      • Dee

        Thank you David, my gut feeling is blurred right now – have to meditate on that one, but thanks so much for the advice! X

        • dpapa

          I’ve been in this situation. Your gut feeling can be blurred by fear. I once heard Becky Walsh talk about two different types of gut feelings. The one in your actual gut is often fear-based, but there’s another kind of intuition centered in your heart. And that is always aligned with your highest good. Try to feel which decision opens your heart. Ask yourself, which is the decision of fear and which is the decision of love? That has sometimes made things clearer for me.

          • Dee

            Thank you dpapa, very true. I just read your comment now. X

  • Jackie Morrison

    This is a great post to re-read when rejection has you down. Very much changes the perspective on it being a bad thing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/carie.bean Carie Bean

    We learn through pain far greater than we learn ,through pleasure. A ha. When you learn this lesson it opens up something inside us. Allowing us to forgive and that God is in EVERYTHING. So selfish are we to believe its about us and not the greater purpose.

    • Truth is

      Selfish – Ego takes over

  • Truth is

    Love this…..you have to be rejected few times before you get accepted. As with everything else, it’s a lesson. It’s not the rejection but how you handle the rejection!

  • Drew

    Great timing and beautifully written dear sir. =) Thank you M! Talk soon Buddy…
    Love
    Drew

  • Sherry

    Mastin, I love your quote that “Rejection is protection or redirection”. I was married for 18 years and have been divorced for over two. I’m ready for love. My best friend has told me that I will have to kiss some frogs to get to the prince and boy have I! Thank you for reminding me that the universe loves me and wants what best for me. So I will await the arrival of my prince. Great message!

  • Lisa Bravo

    Thankful today for this reminder that I am on the right track..finally! I totally agree that rejection is painful and can feel like torture. When we internalize, anaylize, and then recognize the pain tracing back to a time when we felt rejection from our parents, first loves etc.. we can then let go of the idea that rejection is personal. It is the biggest lesson for me in LOVE self LOVE. Blissings Mastin.

  • Jules

    I know that sting of rejection and your blog today is again timely as I was reflecting on the “not enough” curse that I put on myself at a early age. Not smart, not pretty, not rich, not…you get the drift…I see a relationship end and I immediately put a Not enough stamp on it..it’s a big AHAH moment today for me as I wrote in my journal early and replied to another person this morning. I truly believe your line,,,we learn through pain far greater than we learn through pleasure…and it’s the lesson that we learn that makes us the wiser, happier, smarter, more loving person…yes! So grateful for the dose of daily love…

  • http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

    Couldn’t agree with you more Mastin! I once heard, “Human rejection is God’s Protection.” (For both parties!) The more I am trusting my heart and KNOWING, the less validation I need. When I am rejected, I only buy in…when I am in fear. Since fear is the illusion, I know to relax. And let go of my grip…one finger at a time (often starting with my pinky :0 ). I am slowly remembering my soul’s contract, and the more I align myself with my soul, the more peaceful I become (no matter who is rejecting me). This definitely takes practice. For I know I am here to do great things, as I am being groomed by a Humbled Master. And when the timing is right…I will spread my wings and FLY!!!!
    The Daily Commenter,
    Kathleen
    are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/

  • Laurie Graham

    DING!-DING!-DING!!! Thank you, Mastin, for articulating such an insightful & beneficial way to perceive rejection. BULLSEYE! I have diligently been working on filling myself up with the Divine love stream so that I can fill up my happiness & worthiness cup from the inside … Not being validated from an outside person. I have allowed myself so much undue suffering in romantic relationships because I was too fearful to just let go, relax & TRUST! The last 2 months I have been meditating, relaxing into dating & wiping the desperate “stink” off of my energy field. Bleck! There is no better feeling than reclaiming my power & reminding myself that I am worthy of unconditional love – I feel so much lighter now just relaxing & being reminded to attach myself to no outcomes, yet stay open to infinite possibilities! May the best man win!! :-)

  • Sonya

    I have found the right person, I’ve known this for many years, and i think he feels the same…but for the fear of rejection I think we are both avoiding the issue…we are great friends and have a wonderful connection…Your blog has inspired me…now I just need the courage to move forward on it…Thanks Mastin!

  • mamamohujajuja

    Beautiful article. There is one point I disagree with. “We learn through pain far greater than we learn through pleasure.” Is that not a choice? I find if we choose to learn through pleasure or love, rather than pain, we can learn the same or deeper message. Choosing to learn through pain rather than love or joy is a choice that many make thinking that is the only way to really learn. It isn’t true.

  • Diana

    This is spot on though hard to remember in the moment of rejection! But thanks so much for sharing – I love The Daily Love…

  • Eric

    So, one of my deep seeded fears and old ways of being revolves around rejection. This is an area that I have been challenged in and has recently been the cause of my greatest fear and rejection, where by my wife and I have separated after ten years of being together. I have had a heavy empty feeling for the past couple of weeks.

    I have been doing my work and have found great support and guidance from TDL, thank you! So, how do you get past the feeling of rejection, emptiness, wanting so badly to be with my wife, and to be the man who does not live with the fear?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jerome.holt.94 Jerome Holt

    I was just rejected by someone that I really loved, this poem I wrote sums up what I have learned and seen from this experience:

    I have found my focus,
    my passion,
    with help from a true friend,
    I feel the love in my core,
    Breathing,
    I live once more,
    Focus,
    On the divine inside,
    The true calling,
    My way of life,
    From moment to moment,
    Remind,
    Remind me to focus,
    to focus on the real,
    the beautiful,
    the heart,
    that which a child adores.
    the fact that your alive,
    the joy inside,
    Knowing.

  • Misty

    That was so beautiful and awe-inspiring!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jewell.ridley Jewell Mimms Ridley

    I am more afraid of my ideas being rejected than me personally. I tend to fall in love with ideas rather than people. Over the weekend while retracing my steps from 2009 made me aware of how physically ill I was and how the writing saved sustained and protected me. I felt no pain when I wrote. Everything on a physical level faded to the background. I didn’t know I was in a storm. I thought I was in heaven, so I was. Perfection is an illusion to disconnect you from yourself and God, the original sin of Arrogance. Be boldly graceful and truly grateful for all that life will give you. For me, the power to receive will empower you. Amen!

  • http://twitter.com/ILiveWithJoy Aditi- ILiveWithJoy

    Perfect timing for me. I just went on a date and I am feeling rejected. Funny thing is that I haven’t even been rejected yet. But looks like I rejected myself before the other person could. I felt that maybe I’m not the best, or not enough, or not worthy. Perfect synchronicity this newsletter came out on this day.

  • forever grateful

    THANK YOU for finally making me see that this intense pain i have been feeling isn’t from losing or missing someone “i love”…it’s exactly because of the rejection i feel but was too ashamed to admit. i actually caught the person i’ve been in a relationship with for the past 2 yrs, in some serious lies from the very beginning but chose to believe his reasoning and apologies only because i didn’t want to face that fact that this person did not love me. in fact i was so very close to getting back with this person because i couldn’t stand the pain anymore. i think the biggest lesson for me in your blog today was how we’ve been taught that if we’re rejected then there is something wrong with us so we make up all kinds of different excuses and reasons why our relationships “failed” or ended.

    • Unconditional Love

      It’s because you unconditionally loved that person and you like I tried so many times for it to work and kept getting knocked down and we then question ourself’s and all that we stand for. We are awesome loving souls that deserve better and we are being lead towards through our misjudgement towards a loving soul who we all deserve. People say we attract what we are and I believe that to be wrong as everyone would be single then. Some people wear a mask their entire life and knowingly in some instances(living a life of lies and they will have to live with what they have done), whilst others such as ourself’s wear our heart on our sleeve for all to see and unfortunately the “masked Villain’s” if I may use that term use our “purity” to their advantage and prey on it?

  • Lisa

    Oh, how perfect the timing on this! I am job searching and got another “thanks but no thanks” today. I know it wasn’t a perfect fit, but things are getting a bit scary financially, so I had started to hang on to the idea of this particular job.
    My momma always tells me, “don’t worry–it only takes one.” I know what I am seeking is seeking me, but this waiting sucks!
    Thank you so much for this note. It came at a great time for me.

    • Kirsten

      I too recently got some career rejection. Now I’m working on creating the way I want to feel (supported, respected, heard for my creative voice) in my career so I can attract a more positive vibration.

  • Christine

    Great post! I think we obsess more through pain than pleasure, but learning – if we’re living consciously – can come through every kind of experience. No doubt, rejection has elements of pain in it, but when viewed in this kind of balanced light, can be a catalyst to the next better thing. Thanks for a great site!
    Christine
    http://www.blossoming.sqsp.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000392107784 Anita Richards

    I learned to dissociate the personal / emotive charge around the word “rejection” and replaced it with the phrase “one door closes but another opens”. Since then I learned how to look forward from “rejection” and for the most part see it as a growth opportunity now. Sure it still hurts sometimes but it is no longer debilitating and usually I can snap back from any hurt pretty quickly.
    Sincere thanks again for sharing your wisdom! :D

    With much love, light and brightest blessings.

  • Kirsten

    Great post! I get that sense that when I’m getting “rejected” it’s either God’s way of testing me to become more focused on my goal and to become even stronger/bigger or I did not listen to my connection to divine intuition and should not have asked for “approval” from people/organizations who would not fit with my spiritual truth.

  • Osage Dior

    Awesome…Don’t reject yourself! A great reminder…

  • http://www.facebook.com/liathespiritualdiva Ilia Garcia

    Thank you so much for this article. I can identify with the rejections that I have faced in my life or the fear of being rejected. So many times I held back and was introverted, scared to let my light shine and now I am embracing life and facing my fears straight on. If I’m rejected I don’t take it personally but know that there is something far more greater waiting for me. I absolutely love the quote “You can’t be rejected, if you don’t reject yourself”. Thanks again!!

  • TVJackieM

    This article got me thinking. So much so I wrote an article after meditating on it and Gabrielle Bernstein’s writings – http://thedailylove.com/heres-the-great-news-about-rejection/