When we fall (hard and fast) in love, the last thing we can think about before we drift off into slumber land is this new and amazing creature we’ve finally encountered. As soon as the light pierces our eyes in the morning we remember that it all wasn’t a dream and we, in fact, are anxious to see our new love interest as soon as possible. With anticipation building up in our belly and fingertips, it takes everything in our power to be patient.
Fast forward to the next date where our best foot is in front, our anxious delight is brewing under our tingling skin, and the candlelight sparkles in our eyes. We notice we have quite a lot in common with the person sitting across from us, and a few things come up that are quite different from what floats our boat, but the butterflies in our stomach distract us from the polar opposite.
All of a sudden, we realize that quite a few months have already passed and we are happily creating a lot of memories with our significant other. The time comes when we skip our religiously-attended Wednesday night yoga class so we can do what couples do at their work event. We don’t think it’ll happen frequently, but movie date nights begin to fill our cup and cuddling on the couch is more delicious than our freshly-squeezed veggie juice that we always get post downward dog.
It’s all a fair trade, we decide, because nothing is better than being in a loving, committed, and passionate relationship with our soulmate. We have moments when we decide this person in our life is almost like an extension of ourselves. We’re in sync, on point, and in the flow. As a unit, we feel inseparable and we start to finish each other’s sentences. Our souls do a dance that seems to have no beginning or end.
To feel unconditional and fearless love is the ultimate human experience, and in the quest for this kind of co-creation it’s easy to lose sight of the stuff that usually lights up our independent world. We forget about the stuff that drew our other half to us in the first place. Doing what makes our SELF feel good is something that we don’t EVER have to let go of in order to successfully be in a relationship.
The less time we spend on feeding our soul, the more we start to lose our SELF inside of this new unit. When two individual and unique beings come together, they create an additional entity that I like to call the Third Being. The Third Being is the best of both worlds and exponentially growing since two Uni-verses have collided.
If the Third Being is healthily supplemented by the two separate, whole, and complete individuals – there is NOTHING that can stop this powerful force. On the flip side, if an individual begins to pull from the Third Being to feel fulfilled, the other individual begins to overcompensate to sustain the balance.
Again, this never, ever needs to happen. Do what makes you happy. Feed your soul and allow yourself to have alone time so you can remember what it feels like to be sufficient. Creating quality time with the person you love is, of course, just as important, and you get to have it all: independence and interconnectedness.
When you truly fall (and stay) in love with yourself, you will finally discover your soulmate. Why? Because when you love yourself, you do things for yourself that make you the best version of YOU. You sparkle, you radiate and you attract. Your soul mate fell in love with you for a reason. Don’t ever let go of what makes you YOU.
Enhance each other and the Third Being by shining both of your brightest lights. Celebrate and appreciate your complimenting uniqueness, and love the shortcomings and quirkiness that you eventually discover in each other. If you think something is missing inside of your sweetheart, look within yourself and see how you can be the guiding example by enhancing your own bliss.
One whole, complete person + one whole complete person = the healthiest Third Being.
Love all that is you,
Jenna Phillips is a Total Wellness Philosopher, Certified Holistic Lifestyle Coach, AFAA Certified Personal Trainer & the founder of her lifestyle brand I’m On A Mission. Follow her on Twitter and visit I’m On A Mission and be inspired.