Here’s why happiness is a paradox!

February 25, 2013 by Mastin Kipp 50 Comments

I think it’s safe to say that if you are reading this blog – you want to be happy.

The paradox I’ve found in life is this… in order to be happy, we must grow. And in order to grow, we must face our fears.

So the equation looks something like this:

Happiness = Growth = Facing fears

Which can be simplified to be:

Happiness = Facing fears

This is a paradox because it is terrifying to face our fears. I know it is for me. I’m scared of all kinds of things. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling lately and something that I’ve started to become scared of is flying. I used to be a great flyer. Now, I’m a fearful flyer. I think it’s because now I have so much to lose in my life. There was a time in my life where I had nothing to lose and so I didn’t value my own life as much.

But now, I have so much that I love in my life that I don’t want to lose it or miss out. And so I think this has translated into being a fearful flyer.

But, in order for me to grow, this is a fear I have to keep facing. Over and over and over again. And based on the equation above, it’s by continuing to face that fear that happiness will come. Why? Because part of me growing is facing my fear of travel and I need to travel more and more for my life these days. And if I do not travel, there is so much growth and happiness that I will miss out on.

Another fear I have is letting love in. I know it sounds ironic for the guy who started “The Daily Love,” right? Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – we come to teach what we need to learn. And letting LOVE in is a hard thing for me to do. It’s VERY easy for me to give LOVE. Giving is a form of power. But letting in Love, letting in abundance, letting in all the things I truly want is scary because I could risk getting hurt. But I’ve come to realize that I risk so much more by not letting in these things.

And so, again, I must face the fear of being hurt so that I can grow in Love and abundance, which will result in greater happiness.

Does this mean I will fly on a junky airplane or just let anyone in? Of course not. We need healthy boundaries and discernment. If I got on a plane and the pilot was drunk, I’d get off. Or if someone lied to me, I wouldn’t let them close to my heart. We need discernment. But for those safe flights, for those that love me and would feel happier if I let love in, these are the people and situations I need to go towards, even though it’s scary.

So, I’m curious… if happiness = facing fears – what fears could YOU face today?

As always, the action happens in the comments below. Leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the founder and CEO of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

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http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000392107784 Anita Richards

Yeah my biggest fear is letting love in, closely followed by the fear of success ~ I can totally rock both but keep sabotaging myself! Dhoh!
Many thanks again for your words of wisdom Mastin!
Brightest blessings.
Lyn Wilson Ad

Hi Mastin…thanks for your blog…it always inspires me. One of my biggest fears is of failure, not being good enough , making a fool of myself and letting people down.
http://TheRelationshipInsider.com/ Sheryl Kurland

I’m flying this weekend, so your post is perfect timing, Mastin.
I have learned that facing fear translates to allowing yourself to be completely and utterly vulnerable, and when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, it attracts the Uni-verse and the absolute most wonderful things happen.
http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

My biggest fear? Respecting myself. I know that sounds silly, yet I know it’s a fear b/c I time and time again put others’ feelings ahead of my own. I ignore my own feelings and desires. I don’t respect my feelings or what my inner voice is telling me (namely in relationships). I think self-respect is a fear of mine for 2 reasons: 1) I’m afraid to hurt other people, and/or have someone else disappointed in me (so instead I choose to disappoint myself) and 2) If I respect myself then it must mean I deserve that respect and that I’m worthy. Something I’ve struggled with for a long time…. BUT…. I think (no, I KNOW) I’m getting somewhere and respecting myself more and more with each day and each experience.

In response to the concept that happiness=growth=facing fears…
I think true peace and happiness comes from letting go. I suppose this can be a form of “facing fears,” depending on how you look at it. But I think letting go (of our need to be in control, of our desire for approval, etc.) is the key to real happiness and inner peace.

So it’s not necessarily that we have to FACE all our fears — as in go nose to nose with something we’re terrifed of and fight to the death — it’s that we need to LET GO of our fear, just let things BE, accept the Universe and Life as it is, for what it is, and live in love.
That’s my personal philosophy anyway.

Sarah
http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/2013/02/stop-disappointing-yourself.html
- Maya Northen
  
  Sarah I think you just described one of my biggest fears, but I’d never put it in those terms. I am so worried about others being happy with me that I take anything from them, even though I know I shouldn’t. I get mad at both myself and them for it but I let them do it anyways. And because I have trouble respecting myself, I let my opinion of myself be tainted by those that mistreat me (also mostly in relationships). Thanks for putting it in a way that can actually verbalize it, which is something I’ve not been able to do.
  Maya
  - http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
    
    Maya,
    Thanks! Yep, that’s a good point — I get mad at BOTH myself and the other person when I feel mistreated or disrespected. I’m starting to learn that it’s ME I should focus on… as in, the other person is treating me the way I taught them to treat me. And I’m allowing it. The anger I’ve felt in the past towards other people, I’m seeing now, was really anger at myself for allowing it.
    And then, of course, I figure, Well, if people treat me that way it must mean b/c that’s all I’m worth…. vicious cycle. And a tough one to break!
    
    Here’s to us for trying, and learning along the way though!
    
    Sarah
- Williojms
  
  WOW, I never thought of it that way. But, you are correct. That is one of my greatest fears. This translates into self respect. Often I do not want to offend someone and instead I allow myself to be offended or hurt.
  Thank you for putting it out there. Well said.
  - http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
    
    Thanks!
    Yeah, sometimes I almost wish I wasn’t SO considerate of everyone else and their feelings, especially when I act based on them, and ignore my own feelings. At times I envy the women who just are 100% themselves and don’t care if they offend someone or if someone gets mad at them. I think I put myself in the other person’s shoes and treat them the way I’d want to be treated. Yet, I don’t do the same for me, oddly enough…
    - ~~freespirit~~
      
      I also totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve done the same thing time and time again, and am frustrated when others don’t pay me the same respects. And I’m beginning to understand that for other people to be considerate, sometimes we have to demand it from them, respectfully of course, through our self respect and confident opinions
      - http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
        
        Good point! Sometimes we do have to demand to be treated with respect. Making demands is just something I’ve never been good at. I suppose that’s an area I need to improve on then…. (respectfully, of course, as you said.)
- http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist
  
  Funny, I mentioned the “Letting Go” thing in my comment without reading yours…ME LIKEY! Now, about your biggest fear…when we take responsibility for our own lives, we know that NOONE can hurt us without our permission. If we think they can, then we think WE have the power and control to hurt others’ as well. I had a difficult time REALLY getting this for a long time, and it is a MAJOR missing piece to the puzzle that is not mentioned often enough. RESPONSIBILITY is what it takes. No one can disrespect me if I buy into them. For instance…they say, “SARAH, YOUR NOSE IS PINK!!!” What would you do? Would you think they are disrespecting you? Or would you laugh lovingly and not buy into their opinion? “We can only give what we’ve got.” When you respect yourself, YOU WILL RESPECT others’ just for being born into this crazy Earth School. We Are all AWAKENING BEINGS. When we can see this in ourselves, we will see others’ innocence as well. We will be willing to differentiate between who people are being and who they really are (Which Is Love). So, my sister…it is timely for you to respect your WHOLE SELF…ego and all. Let Go of judgement when your unruly child shows up. Breathe and BE THE POWER HOUSE THAT YOU ARE!!!! The world needs you. Lovingly, Kathleen
  - Faith
    
    Wow, this I need to get for once and for all. When we are AWAKE we can see people for who they are, versus who is showing up at the time. Sometimes I can make that connection, other times I just become the unruly child and want to make them understand I am not that person. Thanks for telling me to BREATHE and be the power house that I am, THAT is a terrific line, TERRIFIC!!!
  - http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
    
    Kathleen,
    
    Thanks so much!!! I do need to remember to “let go of judgment when my unruly child shows up,” as you said. I’m often too hard on myself and think I “know better” so I should do better. True, sometimes, but at the same time, I’m still a child here in this Earth School, still learning, and still growing.
    
    I love your point about if we buy into the notion that others can hurt us and disrespect us, then we must believe that we can hurt others and control them too. I admit, I HAVE bought into that for a long time. Part of me still does, if I’m being honest. But you’re right. No one controls anyone else but themselves. And therefore, if you can’t control anyone else, and no one can control you, then you can’t control how they feel, or how they take something. And since others don’t control me their actions and words don’t control MY feelings and emotions, about myself or the world in general.
    
    We can choose to pick up what someone is throwing at us or dropping at our feet, or not to. If someone is flinging feces at us (figuratively, OF COURSE…lol..), we DON’T have to pick it up! We can, instead, choose to dodge it, all zen-like, staying in our own sense of peace and happiness. Let THEM touch the poop.
    
    Thanks again for your comments! They always help!
    
    Sarah
    - http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist
      
      LOL…Love it Sarah! One thing I know is to get out of the “Right and Wrong” game. It either works or it doesn’t. This helps me keep from judging myself and others. I also get the “SHOULD” word out of my vocabulary…again judgement on myself. And, remember….we are NOT our EGO (child), we are LOVE. By keeping that truth my focus….I tame the unruly child. Often, I think I am my EGO and it DOESN’T Work. For ex, in our LL class yesterday, I watched as Cinnamon helped the other people in class. All I could think was…”I am NEVER going to have these amazing answers for people. I thought, “I CAN’T DO THIS. I am not articulate enough. I am not this PERFECT!.” ANYONE that let’s Love (Cinnamon) into their world, is blown away. Many people do not want to receive that kind of love. Anyway, I spoke to her later and relayed my THOUGHTS. She said,” You aren’t going to do it. God is.” I was taken back. Here I blog away about love every day, and I had forgotten. My personality is NOT who I really am. My personality is imperfect. Love is Perfect. It is about tapping into that perfection and letting, “Jesus, THe Universe, GOd, Source, and etc…TAKE THE WHEEL!” XO K
      - http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
        
        Totally agree!!! Thanks!
- Lexy Thomas
  
  i totally agree Sarah!
IsobelUK

I think for most of your readers, happiness probably = growth, but I don’t think that’s true for everyone. I can name 2 close friends right now who would define happiness as “things staying exactly as they are right now”. And who’s to say they’re wrong?

And growth = facing fears; does it always? Sometimes for sure it means stretching outside our comfort zone but growth can also be exciting, glorious, totally unfearful. I love Steve Chandler’s quote that “Fear always comes from picturing the future.” If we stay present and aware, not projecting into the future, where is there room for fear?
Isobel
http://becomeyourvision.com/the-secret-of-happiness-is-two-drops-of-oil/
- http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel
  
  Isobel,
  
  Good point. I also know people (my recent ex-boyfriend being one) who can’t stand change or growth and prefer things to stay the same. It’s part of why the two of us didn’t work out. Too much of a different life outlook.
  
  Sarah
Maya Northen

I needed this blog today. Based on events this last weekend, I pretty much have been fearful of every waking move in the last 48 hours (emotionally fearful, not in fear for my physical life). I have felt like I don’t even know where to start b/c I was afraid to do anything. I need to face this – slowly so I don’t overload myself and backfire, but I need to do it. The how is the question.
Tiffany

I can do what I love…everyday make an effort to assist the world with my talent…also I can stop making excuses and depending on others for things I can do myself…

“Giving is a form of power…” A great quote, I never accepted it like that before… but I have used it as a form of power…

Thanks for the wonderful blog today…
vernette

WOW Mastin, this is so very true. “Giving love is a form of power.” Being open to receive however, makes me vulnerable….and that is one of MY biggest fears. Being hurt. Not being enough. How do I deal with this? I’m learning to be more honest with myself. My equation looks like this: Honesty = Freedom…Freedom = Happiness.
Nenointhecity

I realized yesterday that I have to face my fear of starting my business and becoming successful, so this post is right on time for me. Yesterday I wrote down everything I was afraid of and then I wrote down everything I wanted more than my fears and read each category. I want success more than I want to hold myself back because of fear.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=795559407 Roni Martin

My biggest fear is more of a feeling than one particular thing. I fear being unsafe and outside of my comfort zone which results in me staying within myself and not reaching out to LOVE others. I find that I’d rather be safe at home than out meeting people and learning from them. So, in essence, my desire to control my environment and fear of what happens when I can’t ends up stopping me from experiencing great things in the world. I can overcome it an awful lot, but there’s times I just shut myself off from the world. I’m glad I faced my fear this weekend though and was able to meet you at Love & Miracles this weekend… you radiate such love that you instantly put me at ease. I love that the first thing you do when you meet people is hug them. Thank you for a great weekend!
- Ilana
  
  I can totally relate!!! Thanks for sharing!
S.T.

I need to face my debt problems and focus on a plan and sticking with it to solve them. Normally i avoid thinking about these issues because they are such a source of stress and depression. I wonder if there are good ways to address such a stressful issue in a way that will bring about abundance and love.
Christian_aldama85

Fears, I have many. This week, however, I am doing a cleanse to tackle some discipline and let self love in. In the past week my insecurities about my body and self worth have been intense, and I know that when I take action towards self love I all ways feel better. Cleansing, for me, is a symbol of hitting the reset button physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Taking care of my physical body is symbolic of taking care of all aspects of my being. I am scared of not being accepted for who I am, I am scared that I will always live in fear, I fear loving for fear of losing. I hope this week I can connect deeply with my Self and face some of these fears. As my body will be releasing toxins, I will be releasing my fears too.
Ilana

We put in an offer to buy a new house yesterday! As excited as I am about this, I am also fearful. It means moving back to a the city I grew up in ( which I LOVE) but my family is here and they put A LOT of demands on me. It is all about boundaries and saying NO. I do realize this but it is still hard non the less. I am confronting this situation head on and I plan to deal with each issue as it arises. Living my truth is also hard for me . When I get shut down I withdraw, this is something I need to overcome. Fuck what people think of me!!! I love me and thats all that matters. Every day is an opportunity to grow and face my fears, so they dissipate a little every day!
Paul Morales

My biggest fear is letting go of control. If it’s in my control, I can handle the situation, or if something goes wrong, I only have myself to blame. But if I give control to others, I feel helpless to what may occur. Why should I put myself in danger because of someone else’s actions or choices? And if I give up control to God, then I have to accept it may not be in my timeframe or on my terms. I also have a horrible fear of highway driving. I’m going to be seeking help soon on this fear, but deep down, I’m pretty sure it goes back to control.
Tracy

Thank you for this post Mastin!

I too struggle with letting love in for fear of rejection. (I also read your blog of rejection just last week) Funny thing is the people that reject me I hang onto with a tight grip. So I ask myself how is it that I can let go, disrupt my pattern and allow the love for myself in so that I no longer have to suffer with I’m not good enough.
Roxanagrc

I love your honesty!! I belive that the most honest we are with our on imperfections and fears the more we heal our souls. Thanks for your words of wisdom again.
Mtaylorheath

I have a fear of flying too and can relate when it comes to shaky nerves. Both of my Dad’s parents died in a plane crash when he was 19. I feel like it is going to happen to me too, or someone else in my family. Whenever I fly I wish I were in more control of the plane itself. I am not ready to die either, but when it comes to flying I dread feeling that fear. The plane is not crashing, and there is no reason to be afraid that it is going to. A lot of the time my fears are just projections of how something will go. This metaphor can be used in almost any facet of my life. Whenever I make it out okay that fear had somehow lost its power because I was already riding it out to see what happened. I always land safely. When I let go I am ok. Truth is that I would never know if the plane was going to crash even if it did so I just need to travel more!!
http://twitter.com/miss_melinda09 Melinda Leigh

Along the same lines of letting love in, I have a fear of allowing myself to be in a position where I am vulnerable. Too many experiences in my past have left me brokenhearted for reasons I never knew, and now I don’t like feeling like I don’t have control over what happens to my heart. But circumstances of the past month have shown me that to get what I really want I’m going to have to surrender to vulnerability, at least somewhat. And just the thought of it makes me super nervous…
pb

Wow I needed to hear this today. The comments are so helpful.
Kat

I fear being in the present. I fear that I don’t know how to just be. I fear that just being isn’t enough. Because of this fear I find constant distractions to keep me from being mindful. It’s a constant struggle but I recognize that whya you say is try. Facing your fears leads to happiness.
Rochelle H Flynn

I agree about facing fears. I say, recognize the fear, put your arms around it, and go forward anyway (not that I’m perfect about doing this all the time!). Interestingly, when I was younger, I had very little fear of flying. Now that I’m 63, every minute is important and I want to be here and fully experiencing life as much as possible. I use affirmations and some very funny visualizations to help me relax and trust when I fly. thanks for the reminder about happiness.
http://www.are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ Kathleen Reynolds Chelquist

The fear I face most is my addiction to the GOOP (Good Opinion Of People) and addiction for people to understand me as well as “LIKING” me. Yep, that’s it. Recently, I watched the 5 Love Languages on Oprah and my LL was definitely “”WORDS OF AFFIRMATON” (Just like Oprah…I might add). Nothing makes me happier than when someone throws-out a loving hello (Thanks Liz) and/or tells me how much I have helped them and mean to them. Probably because I RARELY received an, “I love you,” from my parents while growing up. Because it is MY love language, I am an enthusiastic affirmation giver. I really enjoyed watching the 5 Love Languages, and I have been doing the dishes continually everyday for my hubby (His Love Language was…”Acts Of Service”). The house has never looked so clean…LOL. Anyway, I couldn’t help but want to tease out the show because often people will NOT do or say what you want them to do. We can’t control other people. So, what then Oprah? I will answer my own question. The key to happiness is…to know that…”ADDICTIONS ARE THE ONLY CAUSE OF SUFFERING. NO EXCEPTIONS.” This second pathway from my mentor, Cinnamon Lofton, has been my saving grace. If I am addicted to, “AFFIRMATIONS and LIKES,” I will suffer. If I hold them loosely, put out for what I want, and trust what I receive, unconditionally….I create peace either way. As I breathe into my own divinity, I create happiness…even if you don’t “LIKE” this comment. And, I hope you do. Big Love to you all!
The Daily Commenter,
Kathleen
are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com
- Tanja
  
  I “Liked” it!!!!! A LOT!!!!!!!!
Amandabalbert

Just what I needed today. I am afraid of letting my light shine and pursuing what I am meant to pursue. I am in graduate school right now and I am pursuing a path that will involve lots of public speaking and teaching. I am terrified of putting myself out there and being a potential leader. I am terrified of screwing up or looking stupid…making a mistake. But this is what happiness is. Happiness is seeing all that I am afraid of and doing it anyway. Making the mistakes, learning and letting go of all of my doubts to let my true self shine through. I RESIST this all the time, but I know deep down in my bones that to truly be happy I need to stand up in front of that class and teach. I was meant to do this. It is my time to Rise and Be Brilliant. Thanks for this blog post, Mastin. These posts ALWAYS resonate with whatever I am dealing with in my life each day. LOVE!!!
Michelle Furtado

My fear is the unknown: what will happen when I go after my dreams? What responsibilities will I be lumped with? What if I can’t handle that?
I know the answer is to face the unknown because life always has your back. Its just hard sometimes…
- Connie C.
  
  Dear Michelle. You are not alone. It is safe to say that most human beings fear that which you fear: the unknown. I had those fears myself when I was younger. Perhaps as young as I suspect you are. Then life taught me many lessons. One of them was that nothing is as bad or as important as it appears to be. I stopped paying attention to fears many years ago. Do they still lurk around? Of course they do! And I suspect they will for as long as I am alive. I just don’t pay them any attention…Look at people who are older than you as someone who went to the future, took a look and came back to tell you the story. Older people can assure you it is not so bad to take chances. Even chances on love and relationships. It’s better to have loved once and for a short period of time, than to not have loved at all. Every person and situation, however difficult it might appear at that moment, will result in a much needed piece of the puzzle that is your life. All life. As those pieces appear, you will begin to make sense of it all. It all fits perfectly in the end. The key is to learn the basic principle that you are not only your body. You are a spriritual being, eternal, always connected to your Creator, having a human experience for a while. Then moving on. There is no age limitations on growth. You can be young and wise beyond your years on Earth. So, learn earlier to be “old” if you will, and the journey of your life will be easier. I fear nothing. Least of all death. So I usually say that I am not old, but I am “old”. You can get to this point too.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000514592955 Kiki Wilson-Harshman

weird – timing
I am realizing that I block the love from coming in – I have it coming at me all the time but I do not feel it.
I can feel myself giving it and loving my loved ones but even when my daughter hugs me I can’t feel it. I did a deep meditation the other night on this an i visualized big padlocks on my heart and i busted them off and opened up- gong to continue this work
MBT

In our culture we are sold on life being easy, safe, uncomplicated. Just look at the astonishing numbers of adults who numb themselves daily with prescription drugs. No one wants to feel the negative side effects of life. Many never discover that greatest life lessons are found outside our comfort zones. Learning to listen to ourselves, not the fearfilled self, but the voice from our soul and heart that comes from our own strength to face whatever or whoever and move forward. We need to embrace and welcome life with all its beauty and scars!
trust oneself=facing fears=happiness!
Connie C.

Contrary to your comments, I have dropped my fears a long time ago. They lurk around, but I pay them no attention at all. All my life I had experiences that people call transcendent. I felt different from others. I still do as I am always the one talking about stuff that people don’t want to listen to. Like the state of our planet and our fate as a species. People want to talk about easy solutions. Those that don’t require comprimise and change on their part. When they hear me they get bored easily, or uncomfortable. Because my words are not good news.

Fears are at the root of ALL our problems as a species. Without them, this planet would be called Heaven. With them, this planet will become Hell. Is hell. But it will get worse, if we don’t wake up fast to the most important realization that we are ALL in this together and that our collective actions are placing us and the planet in an absurd position toward extinction.Already, we cannot get from the earth the nutrients we need to sustain life. It is polluted and our food supply will run out. We have resorted to killing more animals than we need to feed us, making us the only species on Earth that dare to do that. We kill as a sport too. We kill to wear animals in fancy purses. We kill or allow others to, for a diamond to shine on our ring finger or around our necks. We have become a predator for the sake of fashion. Do we desire this things? Sure we do! Why? Because we FEAR that without them we are less than those who have them. And those who have them also had the same fear about those who might get them or have them already. It is a collective state of madness. To stop this madness is imperative to our survival. The madness includes the Diamond the Brits don’t want to return to India, even though they stole it from the Indians. It includes the many men and women who are in positions of power and exert that power to oppress, while collecting as many material goods as they can while they can. And fighting and kiling for their right to continue oppressing their equals and to continue collecting things because they FEAR they might not be able to survive without them.

So, let me leave here a warning of sorts to all hoarders: Nature is the great equalizer. It will, blow by blow, take away all excess. Take the example of the human body: If you eat too much sugar, the pancreas will emit more insulin to clear the excess sugar from your blood. But, for a reason we don’t know, it emits way more than necessary taking away some of the sugar we actually need for energy, rendering us sleepy and tired. The same line of thought applies to Mother Nature: It will take from us way more than we will think is necessary to brings us, or literally force us, to a point of equality. Call it a do over, if you will. This will bring us much resolve and will to survive. It will unite us as a species. At that time, all equal. Money will have very little use. Don’t make money the center of your attention now, especially if you are young, because you will be here for that experience. The experience of total and complete lack.

Instead, make your focus the service to others. How can I serve? THis is the one question you must begin to concentrate on asap. Pay special attention to the most unfortunate of your equals, as these will be the ones who will teach you how to survive. Namaste.
Viola

Hi Mastin,
You mentioned that you would not let anyone close to your heart who lied to you; but is it not being judgmental? I am really confused what being non-judgmental means? They say rights and wrongs are relative and we can accept what others are doing but is it ok to let only those people in your close circles who share similar values as yours? How big is your comfort zone?
http://twitter.com/seano4fitness Sean O’Meara

It’s so crazy how our fears & self-imposed prisons are confining, uncomfortable and yet we struggle with taking the 1st steps away from them. I’ve been doing a combination of letting go, forgiving and facing fears to develop those mental muscles I want for my life instead. The fears do not build a wall overnight and they do not necessarily go away overnight with one conscious moment. It does take consistent effort but more growth, light & love is just past where the fear fences you in
Lexy Thomas

my biggest fear? letting go. I am so comfortable being in a space of pain or regret that letting go and moving to a better place scares me. I can totally relate to not wanting to let love in because i am afraid. But now that i have met the one person i want to love forever, i want to face these fears everyday. it reminds me that i cannot really be whole without complete love, and as the bible says ” there is no fear in Love”.
Faith

I have fought tooth and nail to literally be here for over a decade. It’s been tough and when I hear others saying that you draw to you who you are at the time, that frustrates me. Facing fears is the name of what I do right now, in every way. I’ve tried to give it to God, but I keep taking it back up because I don’t know how to do it any other way. I’m surely afraid, afraid of not being able to live my best life, afraid of my daughter not being able to live her best life, but I’m a fighter and I just want to be free. I want to be free to just be, to do every day things that we all take for granted. Those are my fears, but I’m learning, I’m growing, I’m challenging myself and others to step outside our boxes and think about things differently. Happiness for me is finding peace in the valley, just peace, simple things because I’ve lived with fear for far too long.
doreen ann

I am new to The Daily Love, introduced to me by 2 lovely yoginis…I am very inspired by your words Mastin regarding letting love in and facing fearful flying. In fact I felt that it was a mirror of my own fears…I believe that releasing the fear will be the door to freedom and abundance of the heart. This is a goal that I will continue to address as I am very inspired by your thoughts and actions. I think a stepping-stone method may be just the right way for me to open the door to surrending and releasing that which holds me back from stepping forward into more and deeper happiness which equals growth in all directions of my being ….. leaving fear in the shadows <3
Bvalencik

I want to follow my intuition but how does one do this when you have kids that you love and provide for financially…its difficult to do what your heart and intuition are leading you to what you love, and want to make the change, but you cant do this because of financial responsibility and no financial safety net. still dreaming and so hoping to somehow make a way for a positive change.
Guest

Wow this is great stuff. As a person with an anxiety disorder, Major Depression and Multiple Sclerosis I feel that Fear should be my middle name instead of Frances LOL. Seriously though a big fear of mine is not being perfect. My parents are perfectionists so a lot stems from that. As I find myself “right” fighting, as Dr. Phil often calls it, I now recognize that I am scared to death of not being perfect.

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” Mark Twain