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Here’s Why You Are Worth WAY More Than You Are Letting Yourself Believe!

by Mastin Kipp on January 28, 2012

OK, I’m warning you, this blog is a little bit of a rant. It’s not like me to rant, but today I just couldn’t help it. Also, please remember when I talk about relationships – it applies to gay/straight, etc. – I’m not leaving anyone out, I’m just talking about my point of view on a particular subject – take what resonates with you and your situation and leave the rest – there are gems in these here blogs!

Ok, so – I got home last night after 6 amazing days with Tony Robbins at his Business Mastery course. I was in a happy place, excited about the future and then a friend of mine suggested that we catch “The Bachelor”.

I don’t own a TV and don’t watch TV; I get all my news from the internet from credible and trusted sources and never watch network news, because at this point it’s not news, it’s biased opinion on either side of the coin. I just want the facts, not someone else’s opinion. Once I have the facts I make up my own damn mind.

But, for some reason I said yes to watching “The Bachelor” and then it began. I couldn’t stand watching it for more than a few minutes before I started yelling at the TV – see I slipped right away. It was funny, but also serious. I couldn’t freaking believe what I was watching. A bunch of women waiting around to be picked by a guy – and left waiting, wondering and feeling insecure about whether they would be picked or not. And the way that one of the producers talked to the women, it was like he KNEW he was shooting fish in a barrel. It was totally wrong on every level.

I get tons of emails from many women who are super confused about dating and asking why they seem to pick the same A-hole in different shoes; well if you are taking dating advice from The Bachelor, I can see why you would be confused. On top of it, it felt like whoever this “Bachelor” guy was, was taking these women out on job interviews, rather than really caring to know about their deepest thoughts, desires and emotions.

It really began to make me mad, seeing how this show was setup.

Ladies, your heart, your body and your time are priceless gems. It’s not normal to be pooled together with other women, all trying to get the same guy. That’s not what The Uni-verse wants for you. When you are tapped into your feminine core (btw, anyone who wants to know more about masculine/feminine energies check out this awesome book “Getting To I Do”), HE will pursue YOU. Standing around, trying to prove your worth, sitting there hoping that he will just “pick you” is not in alignment with your deeper worth. When you honor your worth, the right man for you will honor it and see it as well.

The only person you have to prove your worth to – is yourself. And once you own that worth and act accordingly, you can’t NOT attract an amazing man if that is what you really want. Oh, and for those of you ladies out there that are worried if the guy is going to think you are too needy or can’t handle your emotions – chances are he’s a Peter Pan and he doesn’t want to grow up. A real man will show up for you and give you presence and act in ways that make you trust him, which will then make you feel relaxed enough to open and soften. But he has to earn that, not the other way around.

If you live your life according to a show like The Bachelor, you are going to be given away and taking for granted your most precious and sacred gift – your heart, your soul and your amazingly beautiful and valuable feminine core. When you value yourself, you will be valued.

So after watching this show for a while, I tweeted about how I couldn’t stand it. I asked my friend why she watches it and she said something like “I watch it because it then makes me feel like my life isn’t so bad”. And this same sentiment was echoed on some of the responses I got on Twitter.

Since WHEN do we compare ourselves to the lowest common denominator and go “damn, at least that’s not me.” I thought we wanted LOVE and real CONNECTION. We gotta compare ourselves to people who have what we want and go “Damn, I got a lot of work to do”. THAT’s how we ASPIRE! THAT’S how we GROW! THAT’s how we become a person worthy of being loved and cherished at the deepest level.

If you are on The Path and think that comparing yourself to the lowest common denominator is going to get you very far – you’re dead wrong. It’s going to keep you trapped and living an unexamined life. And you are going to go in circle after circle after circle of repeating the same patterns. It’s hard to look up to people who are kicking ass and shining their Light because it stings us a little to see where we need to grow. It’s hard to look at some of the truths of our life and stay motivated. But I would much rather shine a light on the darkness than keep it covered up. I would much rather look UP to someone who has what I want and humbly study them and be dead honest about myself and what I need to change, instead of just saying “damn, those people are messed up, glad I’m better off than them!” This is crazy talk and if that is where you are living, it makes sense to me why things are working out.

Do you feel me? If so, send me an email or leave a comment! Our email is WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com

I can’t believe 15 minutes of watching this darn show got me so heated, but it did and I can’t help myself but write this blog and send it to you. I’m sure there are plenty of people who watch The Bachelor who have an amazing relationship – all I’m saying is – PLEASE DON’T MODEL YOUR DATING LIFE AFTER THIS SHOW! YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT!

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

I’m so excited to share with you that I’m doing my very first Online Class called Love Uni-versity! It starts on February 13th  – check it out by clicking here!

  • Positive girl!

    When I saw today’s visual inspiration I had a little chuckle as it is on BOLD red, to match your angry tone, as it is very appropriate for today’s blog ;-) . I have not seen The Batchelor as it does not interest me for the same reasons you have stated above, that and I get enough of that from my family. Ppl who settle and give themselves away….the shht comes out eventually, just like the Pantene ad, doesn’t happen overnight but sure enough it does happen. I think this is where personal integrity comes into it….don’t make decisions that are not in alignment with WHO U ARE! once u make that mistake, learn fast as sometimes life doesn’t forgive it, God does or The Uni-verse rather, but sometimes your life becomes capped and u may find you’ve gone down a certain path that’s harder to get out of had u had made a wiser choice. I’m single and I’m lucky, I changed my mantra and only surround myself with positive ppl and things. If u fall down, realise what went wrong and get back up again as soon as u realise, ie responsible for your actions.

    I totally get u Mastin, we all have off days, but I choose to surround myself with positivity and don’t waste time with half the shht like that which aims to breed insecurity and just rake in $$$$$$$

  • Alia Indrawan

    Thank you, Mastin. Well said.

  • http://lunasealife.wordpress.com/ Michellestellaluna

    TRUTH!!!

  • sarah

    Focus on the positive ;) I completely agree that everyone should set their standards higher
    rather than be like ‘well at least i’m not like them’ for sure.

    As far as i can tell shows like this are not really about finding a true <3 match but about insecure folk finding an physically attractive mate and financial security (often the eligible guy is financially stable, if not well-off). It has nothing to do with Love, and is more of an entertainment show. I would imagine many of the contestants enter to be on TV.

    I can understand why it got under yr skin Mastin, because it is inauthentic and sets a bad example, but keep focusing on what you DO want to see in the world! Don't rail against crap, it's a waste of energy LOL. Keep spreading the love.  Those who are willing to be conscious in Love will get the lessons. Others, like the contestants on the Bachelor, are just learning their lessons in a harder, more public way i guess.

  • Thank you!

    Amen Mastin!  I love your rant.  Its got real energy and gusto.  And I couldn’t agree more.  You know, I’ve been reading the Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford (which I found through your website – so thanks for that) and it totally embodies how I feel right now.  

    There are dating coaches out there who say date all the people you can, get out there, blah blah blah.  Its all in moderation.  Since I’ve been focusing on myself, on who I want to be because that is who I want to attract…life just flows.  I am clearing out my apartment, I am putting effort to look good even if its to clean up or go to the movies with a girlfriend and yes selectively I am going out with friends to events but not to the detriment of my health and definitely not with the attitude of being on the hunt.

    I feel so excited to see what the future holds.  I love listening to people and really seeing who they are as human beings.  Men, women everyone!  It doesn’t matter.  There is no agenda.  The universe knows what’s good for me and I do trust that a male-energy man will chase me when the time is right, I don’t need to do much except feel good about myself and my life situation.  Thanks Mastin, I really wish I’d gotten it long time ago but everything comes at the right time for everyone.  Much love

  • Sia Bevis

    love!! sia bevis

  • Caroline

    I LOVE THIS. Thank you for validating my thoughts 100% from a male perspective.  Sending lots of love and can’t wait to check back for more great insight.

  • michelle

    Personally, I love the show.. it’s complete entertainment. 

    I don’t think most women would model their dating over that show, and I would guarantee 99% of women can see right through it and don;t take anything away from it other than entertainment.  I agree that the reason most women (myself included) pick the same type of guys over and over (not necessarily A-holes, but men with commitment issues, etc) is due to what we see in themselves, and what they feel they deserve ~ but not because of a show we might watch.  I promise, the show really does not have that much power over the women (or men) who watch it.

  • Tikitok

    Ha! I had a “bachelor” experience when I was five years old in ballet class! We had only two boys in the class and about 30 little girls. When we had a recital, at one point of the song, the first two girls who reached a “hat” got to dance with the boys (kind of like musical chairs ballet-style). So at the certain point of the song, 29 girls rushed the stage to two frightened little boys, all grace and poise abandoned (I got run over — which is pretty much how I’ve felt about dating ever since then). Great blog, Mastin!

  • Luccyvp

    I couldn’t agree with you more Mastin! This is the first season of the show I’ve actually watched, and I shake my head every week but continue to watch.  It’s almost sad, a bunch of beautiful, successful, co dependent women fighting over a man who they barely know.  Why even bother?  The relationships never last anyway and it’s no surprise why. 

  • Nms1264

    you’re rad, and your heated vulnerability of people living the unexamined life is sincere and refreshing.  

  • Emily

    I loved this:

    “When you are tapped into your feminine core…,
    HE will pursue YOU. Standing around, trying to prove your worth,
    sitting there hoping that he will just “pick you” is not in alignment
    with your deeper worth. When you honor your worth, the right man for you
    will honor it and see it as well.”

    I’ve been with the same guy for two years on and off, chasing him, trying to get him to pick me, to love me, and all it does is drag me into this unbearable depression and anxiety and hating myself. Thank you for saying this. I needed to hear it.

  • Noelle Chaco

    word.

  • Madikam

    It makes me ill to see what people consider good TV these days!  Young women (and girls) ”aspire” to be like snooky…hope for opportunities like the Batcholor…and young men (and boys) think it’s “normal” to be a douche bag and think girls should walk around like strippers and porn stars….it’s a sad sad time for humanity! What’s really bad is they say they watch it because it’s “funny” and “stupid”….but then you see those people acting like what they watch….garbage in garbage out! It’s no different than being a person who never swears, then spending 1/2 your time around people who talk like drunken sailors…eventually an F bomb will pop out of your mouth.  You eventually start to emulate what your most exposed to, it’s just human nature.

  • Steph

    So awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1082800556 Patty Sherry

    Loved your rant, Mastin! It’s a hard fact to face when you settle for crumbs, but your hungry for the loaf. Crumbs are never satisfying…

  • Broadwaybaby73

    I needed to read this…struggling to let go of someone who obviously doesn’t value me, and doesn’t even know what he wants for himself (he’s recently divorced and hang around with the younger girlies for some “casual fun”)…

    Subconsciously I’ve placed myself on hold, waiting for him to figure himself out and have his epiphany….WRONG.
    If he can’t decide now, and given what he’s been through recently, I’M the one who’s crazy enough to think a good, solid, trusting, loving relationship could ever come out of this (long story, but believe me, it’s an unlikely scenario).

    I’m worth more. And I need to come to the place of believing, owning my worth, and valuing that feminine core you speak of…so let me work on ME. and as for HIM…..just need to take a deep breath and call it day.

  • Diana

    Thank you for being you.  You are always so inspirational and motivating in how you are.  I just want you to know that.  I never comment on things like this, but i wanted to pass along my thanks.  Keep up the good work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001710027745 Laura Lange

    All I can say is   freakin Right ON!!   you hit it!!  but    you are so right….  you do have a lot of work to do~!   I am so thankful I found your words and you!   I will share this with everyone~!      It wasn’t that you told me something I didnt know,  exactly.  It was like this amazing  affirmation and I am just too excited and motivated from reading this!  God bless you sweetie!  and thanks!   keep going! 

  • Jo

    Thank you!! This is SO true!

  • Jaymeebabe

    I completely agree with everything you said, Mastin. I never liked that show because of what you just said. It puts the worth of a woman down and makes guys feel like it’s okay to treat women like options and they can just take their own sweet time deciding who they want. It’s a totally screwed up depiction of how women should be treated. I hope the female viewers of this show are aware of this as only an entertainment program and not believe that this is how dating and meeting a good man is suppose to be done. Otherwise, it’s such a pity. :(

  • Lovenia Annisa

    BooYow!!  You definitely hit the nail on the head with this post!!  LOVE it!!  I really believe that most of the stuff on TV is akin junkfood for the soul.  And almost all reality shows do nothing but promote the kind of thinking and behavior that can do nothing but lead us to our own unhappiness!  Unplugging from all the nonsense and tapping into whatever nourishes and fortifies us is a MUST if we are to get anywhere in this life worth going

  • Buddhamind

    The Bachelor is proof that there is a total misdirect and disrespect towards human beings. I agree with you–I cannot watch it, either. Never could.  It teaches that relationships are built on shallow indifference, physical perfection–plus it shows the depths of hostility and competitive pettiness–it pits one against the other. Just what mainstream media does each and every day. So many say it is addicting, and they can’t wait for the new season. It is like feeding the beast that loves to see emotional upheaval and vile egotistic behaviors. Kind of like The Insider, Entertainment Tonight, and each time a celebrity’s life is spread all over news. No one is safe from these producers and writers of such stuff.  Many feel this is ‘real’, they need to be in the middle of the insanity, to know every detail of someone’s life. They haven’t even taken care of what is theirs, yet they are willing to criticize and judge–watch with serious intent–what happens in someone else’s troubled existence. Our media is sick with obsession towards this kind of entertainment–no matter where it comes from or what platform it is presented.
    And yes, we do attract what we instill within us–everything we watch, everything we read..it channels into who we attract into our lives. 
    So why does it exist? That’s simple….As we know….this sells in a big way…and what sells, makes money for advertisers, will always win.
     

  • Glenn

    So well said Mastin. In similar fashion I find frustration with some of the stuff my teenagers choose to watch, like The Office for example. It’s a show about a paper company with a completely narcissistic boss that says and does highly inappropriate things. My son thinks it’s funny. My observation about it, is that at the core these types of shows feed the ego – comparing oneself to another that seems lower or less than, is fundamentally egoistic. So in some fashion, this type of television is a form of a drug, feeding on weakness.  It’s not easy moving beyond ego, but does bring immeasurable happiness and wonder of life. Not watching these shows for some, would be like resisting the urge to gratify ego, to feel better at someone else’s expense.

  • Char

    I love this post!!! Mastin, you are right on!!!!

  • Nadine Pfeifer

    Thank you for your rant! It is spot on and I couldn’t agree with you more.

  • In Recovery

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, do I feel you. I threw my t.v. out a lonnnnng time ago. Thanks Mastin, I needed this today; I’ve been pretty bummed out today about what I found after I shined an honest light on my life, but I’m still moving forward…damn it….

  • Hasyyasafira

    love your rant. this post is really inspiring. i couldnt agree more! :-)

  • Luz

    thank you…love it, xx

  • Ashley

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this :)  So very true!  Thanks for the tough love Mastin.  We all need a good wake-up call :)

  • Deevinegoddess

    your insight and take on life is refreshing. I love that you encourage your readers to strive for more as i hold the same belief that if you compare yourself to less than, you will be more than less than, but if you compare yourself to more than, you will be as much as you can be.

  • Courtney

    Isn’t that the truth! I appreciate you and your work Mastin!!

  • Anonymous

    thank you so much Mastin!  This resonates so well with what I’m currently going through and hoping for.  You bring so much light and love to your blog and ever since I started reading it, I’ve opened up my heart to a lot of life’s possibilities.  Thank you!

  • http://twitter.com/golivas Greta Olivas

    I totally agree with you!! I have gotten to the point where I hardly watch tv myself! I am working so hard to get in my “happy place” that it does not take much to just get you right out of that!

  • Mie

    LOL I grew up watching the Bachelor. Perhaps that’s how I developed this mentality of chasing guys and being someone I’m not in order to try to get them to like me.

    You are absolutely right Mastin. We need to value ourselves first always. And not buy into this bachelor crap. Lol

  • jule K.

    Mastin, can i quote you on that?
    ;-)

    Much love to you.

  • http://fashionistavet.blogspot.com/ Megan

    Beautiful post, and very well said!  However, I have to agree with Michelle below.  I don’t think “The Bachelor” has as much influence on women as you seem to think.  I don’t know any women who model their dating lives on this show.  In fact, I know for a fact that I and many of my female friends love this show purely for its entertainment value – not as a shining example of how to “get a man”.   It is simply a guilty pleasure.  Nevertheless, I still agree with your post 100% concerning where we draw our self-worth.  Bravo, sir!

  • Dawnfrn

    I have been married to a man for 24 years that I chased in the beginning of our relationship, and my whole life with him has been miserable.  I thought I needed to stay with him for God and my covenant; until someone shared with me that God doesn’t expect you to be miserable.  Now, trying to divorce a man who never respected or loved me in the first place is like going through hell.   I know now that I need to respect myself first before getting into another relationship.  Also, I am teaching my daughter these lessons so that she will not have to live through what I have lived through.  I truly believe not respecting ourselves is the core to the abuse that we women take.  I plan to help others once I get through this nightmare myself.