How Breathing Can Save Your Relationship!

Nicole MooreTry it with me now.

Take a deep breath in.  Hold it. One, two, three.  Breathe out. 

Believe it or not, what you just did can literally save your relationship, if you choose it.

I call it “The Pause”.  

Whenever I work with clients who are sabotaging their relationships or fighting with their partner, I have them practice the pause for one entire week.

All they do is take a moment to pause and breathe every time they feel triggered.  They don’t even have to work on changing any behavior in the first week; they just pause.

Yet miracles happen anyway. 


The pause looks deceptively simple, but it’s actually a super powerful portal. A moment in time where your mind chatter stops. An opening for the voice of love to enter.

When you’re locked in a pattern of sabotaging your relationship or pushing away potential mates, the voice of love is not running the show, the ego is. When you’re triggered by your partner or your date, you’re most likely in ego.

The ego is primarily concerned with fear, doubt, attack, defending, making someone else wrong and seeing others as separate from yourself.

The ego would rather be right than be happy.

The ego is what blocks you from perceiving a situation with love. 

The pause works because it can snap you out of ego mode instantly and allow you to hear the voice of love.

The voice of love is always speaking to us in whispers, and when we pause, we can actually hear it.

“Love will immediately enter into any mind that truly wants it.”  – A Course in Miracles 

The simple act of pausing instead of reacting shows that you are ready to perceive with love.

Just one breath is all you need to not say that nasty thing that’s on the tip of your tongue.
Just one breath is all you need to get out of your head and into your heart.
Just one breath is all you need to snap out of it and remember that all that matters is lov

In any relationship, you always have a choice. You can choose to connect to your ego or you can choose to connect to love.

When you make the conscious choice to breathe, you give yourself a shot at connecting with love.

So, the next time you feel triggered by your partner (or your friend, parent, coworker, etc.), choose to pause rather than reacting right away.

Just breathe. You might just experience a miracle.




Nicole Moore, Love & Relationship Coach and founder of Love Works, helps women unlock their hearts and create lasting love. Nicole coaches women to break free from their romantic fears so they can love with an open heart. She teaches women the art of self-care, feminine communication and simple mindset shifts so they can finally create the love and life they desire. Nicole received her Life Coaching Certification from NYU.

  • Great reminder, thanks!  You’re right – just taking a single deep breath does make me feel better.  More centered.  More relaxed.  More “in love.” 

    I’m pretty good at not lashing out or “going off” on people.  I think before I act, or say anything.  One “problem” this has caused for me is NOT standing up for myself when I perhaps should have.  So that’s something I’m still working on…. Knowing when to breathe and bite my tongue, and when I SHOULD say something. 


    • Sarah, yes that’s a great point…sometimes you need to say something. And saying it from the space created after taking a breath definitely helps. xo

  • Tracy

    Wonderful advice. This will also help me tremendously at work.

    • Thanks Tracy! I would love to hear how it goes at work 🙂 

  • Jules

    this is a very powerful practice that yes, works and I wrote your article in  my journal so I can pick it up and read it as a reminder.  As I was writing it out and got to the part where  you say the Pause works because it snaps you out of the ego instantly and the quiet voice I heard when I took the time to do a breath during the writing was a whisper that said  “he is just being who he is, stop judging him”.   Just Breathe, you might just experience a miracle. Yep…I Believe that.  Thank you for your timely posting this beautiful morning..

    • Jules, I am so happy that this message reached you when you needed it 🙂 xo

  • KCBEntertainment

    Who’s trying the pause??? Im trying the pause…lol. I think a lot of times we look for the Ah ha answer and its something as simple as the pause that can help us in those moments when the ego wants to dominate and have control…

    • KCBEntertainment, yes it’s the little and simple things.  Simple, but not easy 🙂

  • Avabigailvelez

    Gonna try this! Especially with my boss and certain family members! Lol! Thank you! 

    • Avabigailvelez, I hope it works well for you! xo

  • AB

    I am going to try this! I hope it can save my marriage from another woman that has decided my husband is hers, 17 years with my husband and she has decided that because she once loved my husband 20 years ago that he should be hers again. Please pray for me that breaths work for my family!