Take a deep breath in. Hold it. One, two, three. Breathe out.
Believe it or not, what you just did can literally save your relationship, if you choose it.
I call it “The Pause”.
Whenever I work with clients who are sabotaging their relationships or fighting with their partner, I have them practice the pause for one entire week.
All they do is take a moment to pause and breathe every time they feel triggered. They don’t even have to work on changing any behavior in the first week; they just pause.
Yet miracles happen anyway.
The pause looks deceptively simple, but it’s actually a super powerful portal. A moment in time where your mind chatter stops. An opening for the voice of love to enter.
When you’re locked in a pattern of sabotaging your relationship or pushing away potential mates, the voice of love is not running the show, the ego is. When you’re triggered by your partner or your date, you’re most likely in ego.
The ego is primarily concerned with fear, doubt, attack, defending, making someone else wrong and seeing others as separate from yourself.
The ego would rather be right than be happy.
The ego is what blocks you from perceiving a situation with love.
The pause works because it can snap you out of ego mode instantly and allow you to hear the voice of love.
The voice of love is always speaking to us in whispers, and when we pause, we can actually hear it.
“Love will immediately enter into any mind that truly wants it.” - A Course in Miracles
The simple act of pausing instead of reacting shows that you are ready to perceive with love.
Just one breath is all you need to not say that nasty thing that’s on the tip of your tongue.
Just one breath is all you need to get out of your head and into your heart.
Just one breath is all you need to snap out of it and remember that all that matters is love.
In any relationship, you always have a choice. You can choose to connect to your ego or you can choose to connect to love.
When you make the conscious choice to breathe, you give yourself a shot at connecting with love.
So, the next time you feel triggered by your partner (or your friend, parent, coworker, etc.), choose to pause rather than reacting right away.
Just breathe. You might just experience a miracle.
Nicole Moore, Love & Relationship Coach and founder of Love Works, helps women unlock their hearts and create lasting love. Nicole coaches women to break free from their romantic fears so they can love with an open heart. She teaches women the art of self-care, feminine communication and simple mindset shifts so they can finally create the love and life they desire. Nicole received her Life Coaching Certification from NYU. www.loveworksmethod.com