How Have You Changed?

“People change all the time and forget to tell each other.”
Lillian Gershwin

Change is a marvelous thing to celebrate. Acknowledging growth helps us to keep on growing. Taking stock of the leagues you’ve traveled is especially useful for those of us who drive ourselves so hard to be… whatever we’re craving to be.

: I used to have glasses. And then I had laser eye surgery.

: I used to believe in soul mates, in “The One.” And then I learned that “The One” is “The One” because you say he is.

: I used to be angry and didn’t know why. Now I’m righteous but happy.

: In my twenties I WILLED it to happen. Now I allow it to happen.

: I used to need ritual. Now I just want the peace that lies beyond structure, even ritual.

: I no longer care if you don’t agree with me. My heart is softer. I have more room for more opinions than my own.

: I used to think I had to earn my keep, sing for my supper. Now I follow my bliss and the feast finds me.

: I used to ’round up,’ adding a little glow to the story here ‘n there. Now I relish the weightless cleanliness of precise and plain communication – which can still be done poetically.

And the list goes on… evolution is always spiraling outward, upward, seeking its own creative edge. Ducklings turn into swans. Feminists turn into humanists. Hearts heal. The narrow expands. There’s much to celebrate.


Danielle LaPorte is the outspoken creator of The Desire Map, author of The Fire Starter Sessions (Random House/Crown), co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan and soon-to-be publisher of DANIELLE Magazine, launching in early 2014. An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she writes weekly at, where over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality,” and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes.

You can also find her on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter @daniellelaporte.

  • karen

    How exactly do I surrender?

    • Guest

      Karen…When I feel fear I boldly make the statement “I choose LOVE”. I keep repeating it until I feel the shift and fear leaves.

      • karen

        Thank you Kathleen. That helps a lot.

  • Miranda M

    I think it’s easy to say just surrender,when you’r are worried out of your mind or are scared most of the time.How do you do it.Are you feeling 100 percent sure there’s love energy that helps you?I want to try it but don’t know how to start.

    • Kathleen Hammond

      Miranda…When I feel fear I boldly make the statement “I choose LOVE”. I keep repeating it until I feel the shift and fear leaves.

      • Miranda M

        Kathleen,I’m going to do this statement,thanks a lot!

  • Jayalakshmi

    i have been reading your posts for so long….I must say I have never found anyone expressing the idea of “surrender” this clearly and beautifully!!

  • Marie-Helene

    This is extremely timely! I woke up looking for some answer, and there I have it. Thank you Mastin. One tip I can give those who are not sure where to start or how to do it, what helps a lot is to write down emotions or about the situation and then burn it (safely!) or make some little “ceremony” to let go. It’s quite powerful. 🙂

    • Whatever tikles Your Fancy

      For those that believe it. Yes it’s symbolic yet everything that comes form the ground one day goes back in the ground. To have a strong belief in burning objects & memories is for me is nothing more than putting them in the garbage. Just like cutting th che chord of the bond between people it’s only symbolic nothing more for to believe it means fairy’s & pixies exist to.

  • Beyond The Beyond

    Thank you Thank you Thank you Mastin,

    Today is day one of my thirty day trial, I consciously voice my authenticity. My being will be one of service & LOVE & I am positively looking forward for I have always had faith & I’m now surrendering to LOVE & am “going to turn the cup of my life over”. This is my soul agreement with the uni-verse. That is my promise.

  •  “When you Surrender you give up the control of your life to an Energy that will guide you perfectly. When you Surrender to the Energy of Love, you let go and let yourself be lived by It. Faith in this process is the soil in which you will flourish. This is no different than a seed being firmly planted in the right soil and watered. You are the seed, Faith is the soil and Love is what grows you. The seed effortlessly grows into its fullest expression, not by force, but with ease.”

    Mastin you beautifully write about surrender and I can relate as I have done it so I understand but if I read this lat year, it would still be too far away for me. I am sure some readers msy feel this way.

    I can tell you, for me this concept of surrender never felt real although I read about it and the dark night of the soul and the reason was because I did not have my OWN relationship with the Universe/divine essence etc.

    I did not know thi energy but when I finally had my first experience of this love and being carried and content and happy for “no reason” I felt so at peace.

    After reading Anatomy of the spirit in 09, I realized I had no relationship with God, I just talked about spirituality but I never experienced it.

    I googled it and I came across some site that said to have a conversation or repeat a mantra before bed asking for whatever you want and I’m not talking about a car or a husband but things like “I want to know and feel you divine” or please give me guidance to have the awareness to receive the constant messages given by you” ( thats mine every morn)

    The first night I did this, I had the most amazing dream of forgiving my childhood bullies and I woke up and wrote poetry (not something that is typically for me)

    It was amazing – I had a few months of true enlightenment but it went away as soon as I went back to work (I was on a sabbatical) even though I was still doing “spiritual stuff” .

    What I realize now was that I stopped talking to God and that was what opened me. The nutrition, exercise makes your channels clearer but if you do not actually try to communicate your fears and your TRUE desires – God can not give you his support which he is always ready to do.

    3 years later I have a deeper more committed relationship and that is because I am in constant conversation but there are times that I even don’t use this simple tool that is right in front of us.

    We humans love to complicate life.

    I share this with you because nobody ever explained to me how to find and feel God . I know everyones journey is different but if mine can offer any guidance I needed to share it.

    With love,

  • David H. Breaux

    Hello everyone.

    I share this life story as an example of Surrender. Hope it helps others in some way…

    I Surrendered four years ago after relinquishing many negative thought patterns, relationships, and unnecessary material items. I gave my life over to Love and in a deep state of awareness over the course of three weeks, I decided to take a pen and a notebook and ask people about compassion–that’s it. Of course the ego asked such things as are you crazy, this is not a “job”, how am I going to make money doing this, where will I live, who’s going to help me, etc. Love answered all these questions with “take the notebook and ask about compassion.” So I did.

    Love then answered with Grace, taking care of all the needs to help bring awareness to compassion with this seemingly insignificant, small act. Since Surrendering, thousands of lives have been touched, people are grateful for being asked about compassion, it makes the conversation about it come alive, it heals the suffering, it makes folks more compassionate, and personally I now know the true meaning of Gratitude.

    I recommend Surrendering to anyone who is uncertain about their calling or their purpose, in order to see the mystery and wonder that awaits you.

    With compassion,
    David H. Breaux

    • Kathleen Hammond

      Thank you…This phrase hit home. “I recommend Surrendering to anyone who is uncertain about their calling”

      • David H. Breaux

        You are welcome Kathleen. 🙂

  • Mark Deman

    Hey Mastin,
    Please give us more insight on how to surrender. We need more direction to start and follow through with the process.

  • Ana Krishnan

    My question is the same – how does one do this, Mastin?

  • Kathleen Chelquist

    I am yet again humbled and allowing another layer of my ego to be peeled. It’s raw and it hurts, but resisting the ‘what is” will no longer work. I am even resisting writing this comment today, but SURRENDERING is the ONLY tool, for me.

    One of my favorite analogies is about being on an airplane (when there is an emergency) and putting the oxygen mask on you face FIRST before helping your child, etc. Well, I have been breathing large amounts of oxygen for quite awhile now, and it is timely to “help” the passenger who is obviously struggling: my husband.

    So, when I say, “Help,” what does that mean? It means to serve LOVE to him and ACCEPT him right where he is. No pontificating. No judgement, intolerance, or self-rigteousness. He is choosing to suffer in his life and “how dare “MY” husband do such a thing. After all, he knows better! And, he has a support group with “Living Love” that is HERE for him every second of the day. WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM???” Inevitably, I judge back to myself and think,”WHERE IS YOUR COMPASSION, KATHLEEN??? FRAUD!” This has been my energy “SOME” of the time. Not all, but even 20% is NOT helping him rise; and, I intend to no longer be scalded by first degree burns of hell.

    Surrendering is what it takes. and to remember his suffering is EXACTLY what I need for my spiritual growth (and his). Even though, it’s the LAST thing we both want.

    The Daily Commenter,

  • lotus

    You wrote it so well… I got the true essence of surrender today…. Surrendering to love in life!

  • Vivian Shapiro

    I am able to embrace LOVE on an intellectual level, but it’s seems infrequent that I really can feel it flowing through me and from me unprompted. What can I do to feel the universal love on a deeper level?

  • Alexandra Telluselle

    Hey! What’s wrong with cookies 😉

  • Niloo

    BEST….ARTICLE….EVER!!! I LOVE YOU MASTIN!!! AMAZING! And the uncanniest timing!!! 😀

  • Sharon H.

    Your paragraph with the Analogy of the matrix could not have described any better how my life is feeling at the moment. I surrendered to love/service to others however you want to interpret it recently during an aha moment since then yes it is like waking up and smelling the roses, pure magic. Love your Daily Love. It keeps me inspired thank you

  • Sara Varela

    Am going through something similar to Kathleen C, thanks for sharing Danielle and Kathleen

  • Jill_Hallgren

    such a beautiful message, Danielle. thank you for putting your thoughts down and sharing them with us. Thank you for your honest and your realness.

  • Amy C

    That was beautiful.

  • Melissa

    Hi Danielle,
    I love this post. I am a big advocate in finding your bliss through simplicity. I created my brand, Cleanse Chick to help people clean out their lives, find health and create happiness.
    Thank you for this article!

  • This is awesome, thanks Danielle.

  • Epiphany

    Until I read this I didn’t realize I was starving! I am teary eyed, I’ve done things in order to please others/get their approval not trying to push the limits. I am slowly coming out of it but it is a life long process that I must erase. I love helping others, definitely help myself but most importantly will make sure my voice is heard I get everything I deserve in all my relationships!

  • Shalini

    Thank you Dana for this lovely article. It resonated with me completely and came at a time when I needed it. And a big thank you to all of you for posting your comments, this is the first time I am reading the comments posted by the readers and believe me they all helped! Each and everyone of you gave me a message today.. Thank you! 🙂