My job is to perform, write music, sing songs, love you, share, express, create, connect + shine. It’s a pretty rad job if I think about it that way… but most days I don’t. Do you ever think about the amazing parts of your job first? Sometimes all I want to think about is the bad stuff: the pressure, my voice, my stamina, traveling, missing my family, not having days off, not talking before + after shows, living out of a suitcase, flying southwest, eating bad rest stop food, losing a chapstick everyday, getting nervous, messing up notes, disconnecting…etc… etc… The problem is, the longer I make the list and the more I affirm all these parts of my life, the more prominent they become… and the more I manifest them into happening, ruling, winning and ultimately hurting my spirit. I’m just a little human filled with spirit that wants to share with you what’s been so freely given to me… light. Light is free. My light comes in the form of melody + music, and at the end of the day… I get to do this.
Tonight I had my 4th show of my 1st headlining tour… and something shifted tonight. I did all the same rituals that I’ve done every day so far…. I wake up + pray + meditate + drink a green raw food smoothie + I steam my throat + I warm my vocals up for 1 hour + I do yoga + I stretch + I close my mouth and stay silent until 2 hours before the show where I warm up again + I drink a special Chinese syrup + steam my throat + I pray again alone + with my band + then I walk on stage. Tonight was no different… except one minuscule moment – one extra exhale – one more thought. Tonight I was walking from the dressing room to the stage + I said to myself: “you’re enough, Christina, just the way you are.” Something happened – in that blip of a second… I moved out of my way. I was so caught up in doing so much + preparing everything I could possibly prepare, that I didn’t even notice the past 3 shows I had still been standing directly in front of myself, my freedom + my spirit. I finally moved over + let the magic happen– I let the light shine through me to you + back to me again + back to you + back to me + back to you. It was unforgettable. It was my most favorite show so far.
Tonight I grew into who I want to be. 100% me. Not good, not bad, just me. I had perfect notes + some flat notes. I had perfect hair + I had a big pimple. See, I’m a tough Italian girl from Philadelphia + couldn’t be more hard-headed sometimes… you can smack me in the face + I still won’t get it until I get it. Tonight I got it. Tonight I finally saw the only thing hurting me is me. The only roadblock to the dreams I’m dreaming are created by me. The fear that keeps me from connecting to you is birthed in the little parts of my mind made all by myself. So, how many of us are missing out on the magic, by thinking too hard about making the magic? Or how many of us are giving up on the right path because we run out of gas and turn back around when it’s hard? What if “hard” is only imaginary? And what if you’re just standing right in front of smooth sailing?
I think I realized tonight that in order to enjoy the present moment, the life I’ve been given, the job I’ve been granted + the opportunity I’ve been awarded highly depends on the little act of moving… the f*ck… out of… my. own. way.
Won’t you, please, join me?
Love,
Christina
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Christina Perri is an awesome singer/songwriter and TDL really loves her. Check out her website here.
