How To Attract Your Perfect Partner & The Keys To Making It A Guaranteed Success!

You attract to you in relationship who you are.

Do you like what you see?

You are constantly in relationship with yourself.

Every single one of your relationships has been a success, even if they didn’t last forever. They have served to bring you a step closer to your true self.

The partners you attract to you in the form of the man or woman, are a physical manifestation of who and where you are in your own consciousness at this moment in time.

Look at who you attracting. What does this mirror to you about your own self?

There is so much information out there about finding the perfect partner.

The perfect partner is whomever you are with.

Let me explain: The perfect partner is that partner that mirrors perfectly where you are in your growth right now. They are the perfect mirror that serves as your inspiration and impetus to heal and grow into more of your authentic self.

The perfect partner is not someone that never makes mistakes, but the person that is willing to own their “stuff”, open through their resistances and love through their fears.

The perfect partner is someone that is willing to grow and is also committed to serving your Soul’s growth, so that you both can be more of who you really are.

The person you attract to you in an intimate relationship is no mistake. They are perfect for you right now. They may not be perfect for you forever, but in this moment, you attracted them and were attracted to them for a reason.

The best you can do to prepare yourself for a relationship with a potential romantic partner is to cultivate a loving and compassionate relationship with your self and clear whatever might be in the way of you giving and receiving love.

Many of us want a relationship, but we are not truly in relationship with ourselves. We want our partners to love us, but we still reject ourselves.

You must start by giving to yourself the love that you are already and want from another.

So if you want to attract the right person, then be the right person. The “right” person is the most authentic expression of yourself that you can access and be in this moment. You are the “right” person when you are willing to love and accept you for who you are and who you are not.

You cannot control people outside of yourself. But you can be responsible for yourself and how you are showing up in the world. You can be responsible for loving as fully as you can and living an authentic life.

So take an honest look and see what blocks there are inside you. What parts of yourself are you resenting or ashamed of? What aspects of yourself are you judging? What are the incomplete wounds inside of you that need your love and healing embrace?

As you accept yourself, you will feel differently and relate to yourself differently. You become truly powerful. From this place of wholeness you will attract to yourself a mate that is more likely to accept you at that level, as well as mirror your love and self-acceptance back to you.

You attract to yourself a partner at the level of your self-acceptance.

Trying to change your partner is a recipe for suffering.

Taking responsibility for changing yourself is a recipe for freedom.

You choose.

It’s OK to want your partner to change, but only after you can fully accept that who they are right now is enough! Then you are at peace whether they change or not. And you are free to love them as they are.

As you change yourself, you will find that either they change and grow to reflect the expanded version of who you are in this moment. Or you will grow apart and you will have a change of partner that matches your new frequency.

Know this:

The perfect partner is whomever you are with in that moment.

This is being reflected to you in those you attract whether you like it or not.

If you don’t like what you see.

Don’t blame the mirror.

Don’t blame yourself.


Own it and change yourself.

Then see who now shows up!

The perfect partner is YOU.




Kute Blackson is a speaker and life coach. To learn more about him, check out his website.

P.S. If you feel a nudging in your heart that you are ready to to know who you truly are and fall in love with yourself, then join me one the most amazing transformational journey of a lifetime!! It takes place July 4th – July 15th, 2013.

  • Marianne

    Thank you for this! It was very deep, profoundly resonated inside me.

  • Kamimoon

    Wonderful! After a tough relationship this last year and an even tougher breakup I have realized that there was a reason he came into my life and because of that relationship and all that it made me realize I have grown spiritually, I have a pure love in my heart and I love the person I am becoming. It was tough but without ALL my past relationships, I would not be where I am today and I am so thankful to God and the Universe for bringing these people to me.  Thank you for this!

  • Debbie Wagner2012

    I am still healing. I sm thankful I have found this me, I thank God for all the relationships he has brought into my life.

  • Drew

    SO right on….. Its a tough learning curve, but one that is SO important if who we are really meant to be and with is to show up. Thank you Kute!

  • Love… It! Thank you, I just got a ahh.. ha.. moment! I just got a lots of to do new montra after this. lol

  • Veronica Aguirre

    THANK YOU!!! I need definetely  star with Myself!!

  • Krystal Rain

    Love this! I say it all the time to friends and myself. I went through a pretty abusive (physically and mentally) relationship when I was still pretty young. It took a lot of self reflection for the healing to truly have started. I remember my parents always telling me, you attract to you, who you are, not who you want and what you see in others is what you see in yourself. This works with both the negative and positive attributes. With this always in mind, looking back, I see how every person I was in a relationship with was me, where I was at with myself at that time. The wonderful thing about this is that so long as we are always changing, always growing and always bettering ourselves, our relationships with others will always get better <3 

  • Jill H

    Thank you for the simple yet profound nature of this message, Kute!  

    just what I needed to hear!

  • Derek Starry

    I keep reading the blogs on here and after each one i get more and more inspired 🙂 thanks so much daily love 🙂 Love you guys keep it up!

  • Thank you for these words Kute. It has given me food for thought. People come into our lives for different reasons and I believe they do because we attact them whether we know we do or not. Each new relationship gives us a new experience so we can learn to grow from it. The reason is not always apparent to us at first and may take quite a bit of time to figure out. But all of these experiences, I believe , brings us closer to our higher sense of self, self love and acceptance and determining our life’s purpose.

  • Ms Noble


    Successful relationship begins with Self.  BE a LOVER, every day – find things to Love & you WILL be Lover-LY.

  • Totally, utterly…brilliant!  Thanks Kute.

  • Lianna Carrera

    “Relationship is about serving each other’s souls. Not serving each others comfort, each other’s inadequacies, each other’s ego or persona … ”
    dammmnnnnn! kute! Preach! Love, 

  • Jojolberg

    Tottaly agree!

  • Bee


  • Kute

    It was as if God brought me to this blog. I am at his very moment going through a divorce and one that I have not asked for. And I could not shake the feeling of failure because my marriage is ending. These four years I’ve been married have been hard but I have done EVERYTHING in my power to make it work, last, make sure we continued to grow together and stay strong. But, it seems my husband stopped growing and learning.

    So, this partner in my life is no longer required. And I know why after reading this and watching the video posted by Kute. What I needed to learn from my husband I have learned, and I am able to go on in my future life having learned that from him and now find someone else who will teach me more and I could grow more into the person I am supposed to be, a better, smarter and informed ME!

    Talking to friends about my impending divorce I keep saying I failed, even though I did everything to keep us together and most people say I didn’t fail he did. But, I know now that neither of us is guilty of failure. We got what the universe thought we needed to learn or gain from one another and now that time has passed. We graduated! And now it’s on to the next part of our lives to learn more. I feel better about my current circumstance and actually feel less pain than before reading this blog.

    So Kute, thank you VERY much. I am not happy my marriage is over but, I am grateful for what I have learned from my husband and being in a marriage. I am grateful for having learned from you and how to guarantee the next partner/relationship will be a success.

    Rather continue to look at what I’ve lost I am now looking at all I’ve gained and learned from my husband. I learned to be patient, kind, to love unconditionally, not give up on someone, to give more than once chance, to believe in myself and he always told me that I am a great mother and NOW cause of him I truly believe it. HE was who I needed in my life 4 years ago so God put him in my life for that time. Now, it’s a new time and a new me. 

    Maybe it’s my time to teach others what I’ve learned and I am so optimistic of the next time I am partnered up, fall in love and meet somone who I get to grow with.

    Thanks Kute, I really needed this RIGHT NOW!

    LOVE, ZORAYA <3 

  • Kute,
    I LOVE this post!  It rang true for me in so many ways.  I also like your writing style a lot.  It’s simple, direct, and to the point.  Very easy to read and digest. 

    This post is definitely making me think.  I agree with you, for sure.  Other people are a mirror of ourselves, especially who we’re in romantic relationships with.  This is making me wonder now because there are things about my current boyfriend that I do not like or respect.  He’s quite negative.  He seems to find something to complain about all the time.  I feel weighed down by him more and more (we’ve been together 2 years, and live together).  Is he a mirror of me?  I don’t feel like I’m negative or complain a lot (yes, I realize I started off talking about him through complaints…hmmm). 

    Right now I’m questioning whether we’re the best match for each other or not.  In some ways I think we are great together, but in other ways I think I’d be happier on my own, or with someone else.  I just don’t know. 

    What I DO know is that I need to live my life for me.  I need to be my best self and follow my heart.  If he grows and changes with me, then great.  But I need to release the chains that I put on myself. 

    I know he’s been the perfect match for me to this point, for sure.  I know we met at the perfect time and have learned a lot from each other over the past 2 years.  THAT I don’t doubt.  What I’m unsure of is what the future holds for us.  

    Relationships are tough!  They’re even tougher when you live with (or are married to) the person!  This is the longest relationship I’ve had (and I’m 34 years old).  Luckily we’re not married, but even just living together, I feel like we practically are.  It’s not as easy as breaking up with someone when you live separately.  A lot more is involved.  I think that’s what’s holding me back and giving me pause. 

    We moved in together quickly (after 3 months of dating), out of fear.  Fear that he’d move farther away and it would be more difficult to see each other.   Fear of things changing and not controlling the situation.  If I could go back I’d certainly do things differently.  But I can’t.  And it happened the way it did for a reason.  I did the best I could with what I knew and who I was at the time.  I can’t beat myself up over it now.  But it’s like, ok, we’re here now…now what? 

    Didn’t mean to spill my whole relationship on here.  It’s clearly been on my mind and your topic came at just the right time.  Thank you for that! 


  • Liz

    You are the best Kute!  You always get my attention, thank you for being of service to us. 🙂

  • Nina2602

    interesting but i’ve gotten more confused especially about attracting who you really are…here’s my confusion using myself as an example. i’m a 27 yr old, single woman and i long to be in a romantic relationship but here’s the deal…i noticed that lately the men who are attracted to me or coming close to me are men who are either already in relationships or married.Funny!…so ,how on earth am i “attracting” these type of men?…and i seriously want a committed,romantic relationship of my own…bright ideas,anyone?

  • anon

    People we attract can show us our chinks in our amour also to not be healed exactly but to be able to grow stronger so we can practice healthy boundary style relationships. To love ourselves enough to recognize that some security measures must be in place before we go dating is something I am starting to realize is important. Not to give others advantages over us, but instead to offer to others certain attributes such as humour and kindness to share and enjoy together. Anyway, I really liked reading this post. It’s so true… and perhaps we can’t help who we attract, but we can make decisions about who we enter into a relationship with instead. My new mantra is to do this slowly beginning with friendship with that person to see them as much as possible for who they are before going further into it. Perhaps it is a reflection that I am not ready for a relationship or perhaps it is paradoxically a reflection of a new found maturity with entering into relationships with a bit more responsibility than before. Time will tell. Thanks Kute.

  • I was thinking about this the other day – how people regularly applaud the couples they hear have been together for 60 years, or whatever, but the more interesting point is: how much have these souls grown in those 60 years? Thanks for this. You are very insightful.

  • Ccrazy11

    Hi everyone, great post as always, but every time I read something like this I wonder… What if you’ve never attracted anyone? I’m almost 23 years old and I’ve never had a relationship, boyfriend, or a guy who likes me. I know there’s not much details, but just would like to hear some thoughts on this. Thanks 🙂