Mastin interviews Gabby Bernstein about how she turned rock bottom into her life's purpose! → Check it out!

How to be a spiritual ninja with negative energy!

To listen to the audio version of this blog click here.

Let’s be honest – no matter HOW far you go on The Path, no matter how much work you do on yourself or how many yoga poses you master – you are going to run into people who disagree with you and people who annoy you.

Believe it or not, I get emails from people like this all the time. I send emails too frequently (hello, it’s the DAILY love), I don’t send emails enough, I sound too aggressive, I sound too passive, I shouldn’t be selling classes like Love Uni-versity, I should be doing MORE classes like Love Uni-versity. Recently I had someone write in and tell me that I’m “making a fool of myself” through my contributions on The Daily Love and just the other day said that my Love Uni-versity classes are “more than shameful” because I charge for them. And I’ve also gotten countless emails, comments, tweets and Facebook messages saying how Love Uni-versity has changed so many lives for the better.

When you stand up in the world – you get feedback from every direction. Positive and negative. I used to go towards the positive and avoid the negative. But I’ve changed that.

My assumption is that everyone is doing the best they can from their point of view. They are. They REALLY are. And most of the time when they reach out to me – they are looking to be seen. So I do my best to engage with people instead of ignore them. Because the truth is, doing what I do – my motives should be questioned. My intentions with the blog should be scrutinized. Why? Because what I do affects so many people that it’s important to think for yourself and see if those that inspire you are walking their talk.

So I welcome it. And most of the time, with a few email interactions I am able to understand what someone is REALLY trying to say – which is venting a frustration about some other part of their life and projecting it onto me.

This is the key to understanding people who annoy you or disagree with you. MOST of the time, when I engage with someone in a dialog, we end up agreeing. Not ALL the time, but MOST of the time, because I don’t make what they are saying wrong. In the moments when they are saying something to me that seems SO FAR removed from who I really am – or if they knew me, they would never say these things, I take on the position of a listener rather than someone who judges OR flees from the conversation.

I can’t engage with EVERYONE who contacts me because I get so many emails per day, but I do my best to get back to as many people as possible.

I think the key take-away from this blog is that as we engage with people who trigger us, or who we strongly disagree with, or who see us in a way that is just sooo far beyond who we really are – if we cannot make them wrong, but instead see things from their point of view and begin to question it – all while standing firm in our own ground – then we have taken a BIG step in our own evolution and helping to bring more peace on the planet.

So, how can you apply this in your own life? How can you not make people wrong for what they believe and instead investigate what’s going on within? Can you see what they are REALLY trying to say? Leave a comment below and let’s chat about it! Plus the TDL Community will help to support you if you need any help! They’re RAD like that!

Until tomorrow, lots of LOVE,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

If you are ready to kick fear in the butt (lovingly, of course)  – join me September 24 – 28 for my latest virtual course Love Uni-versity: Discover the Wisdom of your FearClick here to check it out!

It’s a RAD 5 Day immersion class to turn your fear into power! AND – if you are in LA and want to join me for super private Group Mentoring LIVE in Hollywood! Click here  to join me LIVE in LA!

  • lingling lan

    Racism, sexism, homophobia etcetc. The one thing I like to say about this post, is that I think it’s important to compromise sometimes, reach an agreement, or an agreement to disagreement. I like how you say that it’s almost a good thing that not every feedback you get is a compliment, and that a lot of them are very critical. I suppose if they were all good, you’d cease to find any significant in what you do, whereas getting some criticism really drives you to be more grounded, be more aware of who you are, and know why you do what you do. 

  • Dee

    On days like that, I remind myself to stop and take a break, smell some flowers, get out of my head, turn to loved ones, pets, just do something that puts things back into perspective. We can’t agree with someone 100% of the time. I can say that I am truly grateful for what you have put together for TDL, and I love the positive inspirations on the twitter feed too. Its quality not quantity anyway, the lives you have touched will always be measured in this way when it is from the heart

  • http://dyannebrown.com/ dyannebrown

    Wow, Mastin. You really are a spiritual ninja. This is something that I am learning. I’m finally living my life independent of other people’s expectations. I realized that I was chasing the wrong dream and it had to come crashing down for me to see it. I have also learned how to pray for my enemies. I understand that they are hurting and that is why they attack. Beneath every emotions is fear. I even posted that I learned that bullies are the most afraid. So, I pray for the healing of the people that are the most angry. I also understand that the people in my life are a reflection of me so I try to see what it is that I have to heal from my interaction with them. Every moment is the Universe teaching me, so everything is a gift. Another great post. I love TDL. It reminds me that I am on the right path. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/mastinkipp Mastin Kipp

      Wow Dyanne! Your comment inspired me! Thank you!!! You rock! :o)

    • Mary Liselle

      Oooh, thank you Dyannebrown I LOVED your comment!!

    • Tatjana Eickelmann

       YES Danny, so true all you say!!;)…I love thisone-Mastin as spiritual NINJA!!! :) light,love&happinez <3

  • Luna

    Thanks for putting light on the journey of each person reading TDL

     

    Remember this:” You Can’t Give What You Don’t Have…”

     

    I love this short story.

    “A rich man called
    his servant gave him a bag
    of garbage, man took
    it and walked away happy without knowing even the
    gift content. Soon
    the servant returned and handed
    his master a basket with fresh flowers, rosebuds, daisies and evergreens.
    The rich man asked surprised why such a
    beautiful gift when he had given only remains
    of crap, the servant still smiling replied each person gives what is in the heart.”

    Love and Light.

    • http://www.facebook.com/mastinkipp Mastin Kipp

      haah – that is funny Luna!

  • Liz

    I love what you do, and I think it’s a wonderful gift to the world!  Thank you for these wonderful posts and offerings :-) ox

  • Karen

    *When you stand up in the world – you get feedback from every direction**understand what someone is REALLY trying to say – which is venting *
    Any time we work with the public this is what to expect, they search out someone to vent the anger they have with another. You are so right.

  • Melissa

    Love!!! Whenever someone starts taking things out on me (whether it’s my fault or not), I usually say “how can I help you?”. Serving is truly the greatest joy! And the greatest teacher!

  • Gaiajourney

    Great stuff Mastin. I think it’s important to accept the diversity of who people are and their thoughts. That’s practicing Ninja love! You’re right, they just want to be seen and heard. Knowing that each indvidual comes with their own life experiences and memories helps me to be kind and compassionate regardless. It took me a long time to charge for my mentoring services and when I did instead of the negative comments I expected I got kudos for recognizing my talent. Yeah!

  • Ilana

    Great post! Sometimes I use the “boinggg” approach when I am being inundated with negativity.  I imagine my field of energy around me is non porous and all negativity bounces right off, and does not enter me. I ask myself what I did to attach this energy, and send it back with pure love and non judgement. I accept ( today’s morning meditation actually!!!) what ever the Universe has in store for me and I move forward with a better understanding of myself and the other person. A million Blessings of Love!

  • Geanine

    You rock Mastin! I adore The Daily Love. I even told my brother about it. I thought he’d enjoy and appreciate such powerful heartfelt messages coming from a man. Keep writing and sharing. 

  • Rai-Li

    I love what you´re doing Mastin, you inspire me to get out there, out of my selfmade prison and be my true self. Keep doing your great work! Love and Peace, Rai-Li

  • Suzy

    A long time ago a well known actor told me, “If I believe the positive comments about me then I have to believe the negative ones.  So I believe neither!” 

    I have a book coming out in a few months and I’ll be reminding myself of that comment when I read those Amazon reviews!

  • Angela Schuster

    In regards to being scolded for “charging” for classes…as my yoga teacher, Sofia Diaz would say, “there is a lion at the gate” …The purpose of the lion is to honor the energetic exchange…it is not just about sapping what one can from our teachers, but making an offering back to what is being given…charge away! for what you are offering, Mastin…when one recognizes the gifts, the offering becomes incidental. 
    Angela Schuster-Boulder, Co

  • Meredith

    If you aren’t taking flak, you aren’t over the target.  :-)

  • Guest

    Mastin, you’re a constant inspiration, and such a joy. I love The Daily Love. Thanks for truly helping me move through my life xxx

  • Mary Liselle

    Synchronicity again, Mastin. Lately I have been dealing with my sister, as well as a friend, in how to handle them when they bash my spiritual practice. They are very fundamentalist and traditional in their practice of evangelical Christianity. They don’t understand my practice of meditation and yoga, etc, and even label it as “bad.” This is a loaded issue, and I try not to judge them for judging me- instead I am trying to take the approach as you mention in today’s blog. By trying to see things from their point of view, and by taking into account their life experiences, I can understand why they say the false things about my spiritual practice, and about me- without taking it too personally. It takes SO much patience and compassion to deal with them- so much!!!–but by practicing love instead of insisting that I am “right,” I am expanding my conscioussness. Thank you Mastin for this great post!! I am going to sign up for your lectures next week. Namaste.

  • Steph

    I agree with the below comment that people in our lives are a reflection of us individually. I think it’s important to be an independent of others. I say go for it :) Live on. I’m doing the same thing as you said up above “instead see things from their point of view and begin to question it – all while standing firm in our own ground” I challenge people in so many ways to keep them honest why or how I have no idea. I’m not saying I’m perfect but every strong feeling I have, I challenge it to see it’s true form. People sometimes call themselves out when you don’t have too. I think that your blogs are fantastic by the way :) Thanks for writing them and giving me some hope for me and my partner to find our way. I strongly believe that things are earned and we shouldn’t take things for granted when they’ve been fully earned. Change is just the beginning to happiness right?????

  • Stacey Olson (@Co_Lead)

    I like to get curious in these situations. If someone is judging or criticizing me, I put on my objective hat, ask questions and like you suggested- listen. Everything is feedback, constructive or not. After I’ve heard the information to assess the situation, I may decide that its a matter of “your perception of me says everything about you. My response says everything about me.”
    Situations like these are opportunities to role model constructive behaviour. I’m slowly learning just how valuable that really is. We are all here to learn and grow with one another. People grow in the direction of acceptance and light and repel from friction and resistance.

  • Barbarabodytalk

    Great words, Mastin. Why is it that we, as humans need to be seen as ‘right’. So long as we have integrity and are clear that our ‘right’ is right for us, does it really matter what others think?… Often it seems that the answer is ‘Yes’. I guess it boils down to fear, yet again. What others think is really their own business, and need not affect us unless we choose to let it in. 
    I Love Daily Love!

  • shelly

    Our enemies are our benefactors and all of us are working for god to help teach others :)

  • guest

    I wish I could say I am living my life independent of the opinions or expectations of others. What a nice position to be in. I have known I have a problem with this for more than 20 years and have been trying to do something about it that long. Certainly the things I have done on the outside have not been conforming, but that doesn’t mean a lot if inside yourself, when you are faced with another human being you back down. I have become good at seeing things from others’ points of views if they are either disagreeing or being nasty. But the one thing I feel that I am nearly incapable of is believing in my position, in where I stand, in what I believe or what I am doing. “standing firm on my own ground” – I either have to put up a huge defensive wall or take a fighting stance. Sometimes it seems as if I am handicapped – that I’ve had a limb cut off or something, because I’ve been trying to approach this problem for so long and it feels like it will take my entire lifetime to even come close to the security and confidence of an average person. No amount of logic or mental reasoning solves it, because it is a subconscious reaction that I’ve only recently fully fathomed.

  • Tatjana Eickelmann

    hi Mastin, you like seeing in what going up into  my life…sometimes , very oft you just get the subject what turns my mind of the day..your daily love is becoming part of my daily life that is absolutly nessesery as my morning coffy.thanx so much, GOD BLESS YOU!!!!