Have you ever known someone who complains a lot?
There is always something happening to this person, some wrong that the world has done them that they need to tell you about in great detail. It could be the parking ticket they just got or how their boss treats them at work or how their spouse treats them at home. Maybe they don’t feel well physically…again, and the amount of money they are spending to get someone to fix them is creating even more stress. You may have great empathy and love for this person, but at some point you realize there’s a pattern here and it doesn’t seem to be shifting.
Maybe you have caught yourself being this person. If you have and it feels difficult if not impossible to change this habit, then maybe what is needed is a new perspective.
Here’s a thought about personal responsibility: Run after it. Chase it down. Take it. Own it. Claim it. Do everything in your power to look for an opportunity to be response-able. If you have a challenge in your life, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this challenge, which I have brought into my life? If you have a disagreement with someone, ask, “What is this person trying to teach me about myself that will help me to grow?” Being response-able is to claim ownership of your whole life even when sometimes you’d rather not.
By claiming 100% ownership over the circumstances of your life you place yourself in a position of power to be able to do something about it. The minute we blame others for our circumstances, we then throw our power away and become victim to forces that we no longer can control.
In disagreements with others, as soon as you are able, take responsibility for your part in whatever the conflict is. Sometimes, we have to journal or consult a friend, life-coach, teacher or spiritual guide before our part in things become clear. As soon as it does though, own it and, whenever possible, disregard the other person’s wrongdoing altogether. Great things will come to pass in your relationships as you develop this capacity.
So, we have a choice – see ourselves as victims and complain or see ourselves as co-creators of our life and claim it.
If we are to be response-able, then we focus on what we can control: our breath, our words, our actions and our reactions to life. Since we cannot control people, places and things outside of ourselves, we let go of blaming and complaining. This is what it means to own your life and it is a key to your success in all things.
I wish this for you.
# # #
Tommy Rosen is an addiction specialist and yoga teacher. Check out Tommy on Facebook here.
