When someone is in a place of an unbalanced ego, trying to communicate with them can feel like you are banging your head against a wall. There are certain indications to notice when a person is acting and speaking from an unbalanced ego. First is breathing and second are the words they choose to express themselves with. In the unbalanced state they do not really know they are seeking a solution, but once they get through the ego distractions, they realize that all they were looking for was a solution to why they are feeling a certain way.
First indication a person is not balanced with their ego: Breathing
Try to notice how a person is breathing, if their breathing is shallow, then they are more than likely in their “unbalanced ego state”. Take a big breath right in front of the person and, they will want to do the same. Think of it as yawning. When we yawn, others nearby will yawn as well; it never fails (one of the things we must not do is to force laughter, that will just enrage an unbalanced ego).
A person’s tone of voice tends to drop when they are becoming irritated. I call it the wah, wah voice. That’s ego.
Second indication a person is not balanced with their ego: Words one chooses when in ego
Listen carefully to the words they are using, such as: “Should, have to, can’t, better than, it doesn’t matter, I don’t care and how.” (These are just a few.)
When it comes to family members, love them; however, they know how to trigger your ego to become unbalanced. As the saying goes, they are “pushing your buttons”. The best thing that you can do is be the listener; people with an unbalanced ego love to drag you into their drama so that it can perpetuate itself. We can all relate to the adage “misery loves company.”
How to help them balance their ego: Use positive statements as a means to a question.
Try to always come back with positive answers, or statements or questions like, “I understand you’re upset.” Or, “What would you like to have happen?” The best thing to do is not engage in the negative aspects of the situation; just listen and keep your replies short and positive. When we do this, the unbalanced ego has nothing to fuel itself with and the person you are talking to tends to relax, breathes normally and then starts to talk themselves out of their unbalanced ego state. All you did was not give in to the ego rage, and you encouraged that person to get realigned with their greatest potential and higher self. The best part about this is that you will not feel drained from the conversations and you did not take the unstable energy head on. By you asking the person with the unbalanced ego, “what they would like to have happen?” you encourage breath and thought, which will lead the person to become centered and in control of themselves.
Important thing to remember
It is not in your best interests to tell someone that they are coming from ego, especially when that person is in an unbalanced ego state. It is like walking into a firestorm. Wait until that person is calmer emotionally and then explain how to recognize one’s unbalanced ego by sharing these same techniques.
With love and support always,
Tara Taylor is an international intuitive counselor & published author of Through Indigo’s Eyes.