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I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and he is dating a new girl. He said it was fun, but it was starting to lack passion. And that made me think. Sometimes, you know people are just not compatible, but sometimes it’s something else.
In my own relationship with Jenna, I’ve learned that passion is earned. It’s not just given. Because you can’t fake passion. You can’t MAKE yourself BE passionate because passion is something that YOU ARE. You can’t fake it. You can try, but at the end of the day, you and your partner will be able to FEEL the inauthenticity of you trying to fake passion.
So, how does one CREATE passion in a relationship?
Well, Jenna and I have come to see that by through going through the dark times, the triggers and the tough times in a relationship – it is by weathering those storms that passion is earned and revealed. But not just passion – INTIMACY.
You see, intimacy and passion come from truth telling. In a loving relationship if you aren’t telling the truth, your relationship is slowly dying. Passion – true passion, IN LOVE passion, comes like the dawn – after the darkest moments. Like the calm waters after a storm.
Passion isn’t something you can just EXPECT to happen; it is EARNED through trial and error. And if you REALLY love someone, by NOT LEAVING when it gets hard, but by staying – working THROUGH the problem and getting to the other side – that’s how you create passion.
In my own relationship with Jenna, we have moments like this. Triggers happen. Disagreements happen. And it’s on the other side of those moments where we have both been able to be ourselves – even if we’re mad, frustrated or sad, and come out the other side. When someone loves you after you’ve shown them that side of you, passion comes, intimacy comes, LOVE blossoms even more.
If you are in a relationship and you two love each other but passion is missing, intimacy is missing – consider you both may not be telling the truth. And don’t make the other person small by assuming they can’t handle what’s going on for you. This is real LOVE.
This is how Jenna and I create an AMAZING passion-filled relationship!
Now, one caveat. When you express “your truth” – this is not a hall pass to justify being a jerk. You have to take responsibility for your side of the track. But if you want PASSION, you earn it through truth telling.
How does this apply to YOUR life? Leave a comment below and let’s discuss! The TDL Community and I will hit you back, so join in the conversation! It’s how TDL comes ALIVE!
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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.
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