How To Deal With Toxic Relationships! - Daily Love with Mastin Kipp

How To Deal With Toxic Relationships!

Do you have emotional vampires in your life? Do you have friends or family that suck your life energy and leave you feeling depleted, depressed, irritable and antsy?

Here are some simple strategies to help minimize or eliminate toxic people from your life:

1. IDENTIFY THE EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES IN YOUR LIFE. Scan your life and notice what friends, family, colleagues, co-workers or romantic partners sap your energy, clog your life and bring you down.


  • you begin feeling tired and depleted
  • your eyes are droopy
  • your posture starts to collapse (rounded back, hunched shoulders, collapsed middle)
  • you notice yourself getting irritable, anxious, antsy
  • you feel insecure, unsure of yourself, off-kilter and are not sure why
  • you crave carbohydrates, sugary or ‘comfort food’
  • you can’t get a word in edge-wise


  • NARCISSIST: You can’t get a word in edge-wise, everything is about them, even if you tell a story – they spin it back to themselves in relation to their experience, you have been hanging out with this person for hours and they haven’t asked you one question about yourself.
  • VICTIM: Negative Nelly. All blame and “woe-is-’me’”. Down on their luck, nothing is their fault (conspiracy theorists, anyone?!?). You wind up feeling depressed and equally negative. Making those around them feel guilty.
  • CONTROL FREAK: Always dominating, righteous, thinking they know best and trying to fix your problems, inundating, pushy.


  • CLEARLY DEFINE A TIME LIMIT FROM THE BEGINNING. If you must be in contact with a vampire (family or co-worker) – immediately state the time limit that you have. i.e. “I’m running into a meeting in 10 minutes, so our conversation has to be brief.” or “I am on a deadline and have to get back to work…is there a quick question I can help you with?”
  • 3-4 hr. TIME LIMIT WITH FAMILY. If you’re home for a holiday or on an extended trip with a vampire (alcoholic brother-in-law, pushy mother, critical co-worker) limit yourself to no more than 3-4 hours together.
  • USE BODY LANGUAGE. Stand a few feet away from them so you’re not ‘caught up in their space’, cross your arms, wear a hat to seal your energy in, wear shiny objects (jewelry, gem stones, metal) to deflect their energy, lean away from them.
  • KNOW YOUR EXIT STRATEGY. Make up an errand you have to run or a phone call you must take (outside!), go to the store, for a run, do a brief meditation, call a friend or therapist for support. Have a friend call you at a certain time to interrupt. Do whatever you need to do to return to center. Return only when your head and energy field is clear and strong.

Please leave a comment below and share the specific strategies that help you deal with toxic relationships and create healthy boundaries.

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To learn more strategies for EMOTIONAL DETOXING, join my CHAKRA DETOX IMMERSIONJULY 1-6 at Kripalu. Details + sign up here!



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Ashley is a top L.A. yoga teacher and body-mind psychotherapist. Visit her facebook page here.