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How To Get Out of Your Own Way

The one mission I had when I was young was to get out of the hood. I decided that I wanted better for myself and that I didn’t want to be like anybody around me. I wanted my life to be the complete opposite of everything and most of the people I grew up around. I decided to fall in love with who I am. I didn’t know it, but even back then I was trying to get out of my own way.

There wasn’t a specific time or date or monumental moment when I knew I had to get out of there. For me, the process of getting out of my own way happens moment by moment. When each moment presents itself, I can decide to do something wrong— if I was already made aware that it was wrong— or I can do it right.

When you know there are better circumstances you can be in, or that there’s a better way to do something, and you decide right then and there you want better for yourself and do it right, that’s when you’re technically getting out of your own way. But it’s not as easy as that because your life decisions boil down to how you see yourself and how much you love and value yourself.

Your actions reflect what you want for yourself and what you feel you deserve. I grew up with a few people who didn’t think they deserved anything and that’s the way some of them are still living.

Everything I was doing when I was living in the hood shows how much I loved myself: I loved myself too much to keep living like that. I loved myself too much to not try and hustle for quarters for food or call every record label to get a record deal. You can think about this in all areas of your life: I love myself too much to date someone like you. I love myself too much to keep sitting on my ass instead of searching for a new job. I love myself too much to have unprotected sex, or to keep friends in my life who bring me down.

We need to find out how much we love ourselves in order to get out of our own way. Part of that is accepting our flaws. It sounds contradictory, but you have to see the truth of who you are in order to get in front of the problem. How can you ever understand your actions and try to change, until you take a good look at the choices you’ve made? How can you open up a line of communication with yourself or others about your actions and try to change? You have to figure out why you keep staying on the wrong path and making the wrong decisions.

If you have a problem with your life, you can elevate yourself or keep standing still, but you will have to decide if you’re going to change. I’ve said this to many people: Life is a menu.

Whoever and whatever you order for your life is what’s going to be delivered to the table. If you want something new or better for your life, you have to order it. You are responsible for where you are in your life. You have more influence and can make more of a difference than you can ever imagine, but it has to start with you.

To get a copy of Tyrese’s new book “HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY” – click here.

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Tyrese Gibson is an actor & singer. Follow him on Twitter here.

Excerpted from HOW TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY by Tyrese Gibson, Grand Central Publishing 2011.

  • Rachel

    Bought and read it already! Great read! :)

  • El

    Thank you. I needed this.

  • http://www.inspirationstotheheart.com Mary

    So refreshing and hopeful to know that there are so many of your generation who have taken the leaad in strong positive way. My generation gave birth to yours and I stand proud to have found affirmation that speaks to my heart and soul.

  • Christine

    Very inspiring! I like the idea that life is a menu. What a great way to look at things. Definitely will check out your book! Thanks!

  • Marcia

    So much about this blog post to love. Training one’s self to fill in the blank for “I love myself too much to…” is a great way to a) Remind yourself that you are worthy of love, b) You are worthy of your own love- it is not selfish, c) You have a choice, d) You do not have to be a victim of your circumstances- you may have a hard choice, but you probably do have a choice. See “a” if you don’t recall why you are worth making hard choices for. Thank you for this inspirational, wonderful message. As my step-father used to say, “Life is a do-it-yourself project.”

  • Chenai

    Beautiful, This is indeed so true, you definately have to look at why you do not feel worthy sometimes and it helps with the beginning process of heeling. This is why some people are successful and others are just survivors, because the more you know about yourself and learn to treat your soul like lace, the more you will be able to channel yourself into things that make you a better person in all aspects :)

  • naomi

    Life indeed is a menu…we can make “healthier” choices only by first loving who we are. If you don’t love yourself then you will accept anything that is not healthy {love, friends, circumstances, etc} in your life. You are an amazing soul Tyrese and an amazing role model.

  • Beautiful Moi

    I bought it and recommended it to allot of people. The book is AMAZING AMAZING, did i mention the book is AMAZING? Tyrese really surprised me with that book, you showed me how a wonderful soul you have and how you didn’t let fame get in your head, but most importantly, i admire the fact that you have God in your life. May God continue to bless you and your circle!!!

  • Nicole

    ‘Life is a menu.’
    So perfectly put. It is so true, but you need to order what you want from life in order to obtain it. You can’t expect something that you haven’t set out for! Granted, some of us are lucky enough to have opportunities fall into our laps, however, it is about noticing the moment and striking when the iron is hot! I really enjoyed this blog. I enjoy the idea of ‘getting out of my own way.’ It is clear that when you aren’t getting what you want, there is no one to blame but yourself. This is now embedded into my brain…
    @nicoledeleasa

  • http://empowermentwithjudy.com Judy H. Wright-BounceBack Person

    Hello from Montana,

    What a wonderful post. Thank you for loving you and allowing others to love themselves. I work with families and individuals who have faced adversity and learned to bounce back.

    Being resilient is a choice. It takes a lot of will power not to give in to despair or discouragement.
    When we learn to get out of our own way, doors and windows will open to new opportunities.

    Blessings,

    Judy Helm Wright

  • devyn

    I think this blog is amazing. Keep it up Tyrese and theDailyLove

  • http://www.sheltonjolivette.com Jolivette

    If you ask but don’t believe that you’ll get what you are asking for, you have already defeated yourself. If you ask, but don’t have a plan for what you are asking for before you even get it, then you really don’t want it. Write the vision and make it plain. If you fail to plan…plan to fail. When asked why..don’t say why show why. JV – Ordained Minister/Actor/Relationship Expert/Motivational Speaker/Vocalist

  • Erika Matos

    I had no idea, Tyrese! I love this. I love myself enough to know the life I deserve, and to share what I know with everyone I can. Maybe, it’s my bit of knowledge that can ignite change in someone’s life.

    Loved every word. Here’s to getting out of our way xo

  • Marisol

    Thank you Tyrese. From this moment I will start saying ” I love myself too much to… x, y and z ” and will make a change that moment so that great things happen instead. I will buy your book, can´t wait to read it.

    Thank you again and God bless,

  • Leeann Rose

    This blog spoke to me today; thank you Tyrese. I am looking forward to reading your book… your post today truly inspired me. It is so easy to say “i hate myself” but why not love the life that you were given + do everything you can to live your best life? Those are the questions I asked myself as I read your blog.

    People often complain that they were “born into” unfortunate circumstances and that they do not have an active role in getting themselves out of those situations. However, your blog today spoke to the fact that we CAN get out of our unfortunate circumstances. It’s all about life choices – we have a choice, we just need to make the decision to act on that choice.

    Thank you for inspiring me today

  • http://www.alimoongoddess.com Ali

    Beautiful how far loving & respecting ourselves can take us into who we were born to be.

    Sincerely hoping your story will inspire so many others. Thank you for being you.

  • http://www.my2.tupperware.com/alicejones mrsaliboom

    Tyrese, for the longest time I thought you were just a pretty face and a good actor. In the past year or so watching you go through your divorce and just learning yourself has made me grown to really admire the man you have become and continue to be. I love reading your tweets and just how you seem to carry yourself. I can see writing this book has changed you in ways you probably didnt even expect. I am so proud of you and the inspiration that you will be for your daughter and any other relationships that come to you.

    Awesome book, Awesome Man! GOD BLESS and as always KEEP GOD FIRST!

  • Paula

    Just saw your tweet about getting comments here so here goes… lol
    I read this yesterday (a few weeks ago I subscribed to TDL so I get the blog daily I LOVE U MASTIN) and I was happy to see this softer side of a rugged actor like you Tyrese. I felt inspired to leap out of my own way and get behind me and push toward greatness, using obstacles as mechanisms to propel this young black Caribbean sister forward.
    Thank you for sharing Ty!
    Love PaulaAnne.

  • JOJuan Westmoreland

    I have purchased the book based on reviews and personal connection of the trials and tribulations he has been through as I have been reading, just the way things are explained and to the point of true reality and understanding, not only as a reader and believer but as a person dealing with some of the same trial and tribulations so in quote “if you want to read a true heartfelt book with real truth and enlightenment then get the Book now” how ever you can
    legally. Download,purchase,etc. etc. Thanks Tyrese aka big bra

  • Mike Love Show

    Greatest and most inspirational book I never read in my life, Tyrese u are the greatest

  • Tequila

    Tyrese is such an inspiration to me. This book is truly amazing and it will touch lives. If you don’t have it please get and soon. Also follow him on twitter cuz he is the truth. I look forward to his tweets because the message he’s relaying is a powerful one.

  • TONY

    TYRESE,,,YOU ARE “DEFINITELY” TALKIN’ TO ME!!!,,AND I’M MAN ENOUGH TO SAY IT!!!!,,,

  • Aubrey

    Tyrese,you have very valid points. I don’t think that living in the hood is necessarily a bad thing. If more influential people would walk a day in the hood,would they do anything to make it better? Or do they even care? It depends on what u r doing to uplift the”hood” per se. I do understand what u mean about toxic friends-and family- We have to motivate ourselves and our people,not an easy task,but we have to do it. And we need to get out of each other’s way.

  • Casey

    So inspiring!

  • Alvina Lopez

    I liked you as an actor & now I am in love with you as an author & have a whole new respect for you after reading tidbits of a book am going out to buy.

  • Dushawn Williams

    Hey Man that makes so much sense, we really do have to want better and make up our minds to go and get for our selves. Love you Boy!

  • Phae Jones

    I have a passion for reading & nothing makes me happier than words that speak to you personally & eloquently. This book can touch millions because honestly in life sometimes we block so many of our own Blessings! Thanks Mr Gibson for the message & for sharing with Us. I bought it for kindle, but realized I needed a few copies at the salon; we “check-out” books like a library at the salon so there are clients in waiting already!!!! Be Blessed ;-)

  • http://Www.Facebook.com/carasantiago Cara Santiago

    Great article. We must let go of ego-driven mindsets. Let go and let God. :)

  • Valencia

    This an awesome book. I have read it and about to start reading it again. The foreword was so powerful. I can relate to the writings of this book. Tyrese has inspired me by way of this book and by way of his inspirational tweets. It seems like he knows exactly what I’m going through. If you haven’t read this book, please do so today. I am getting out of my own way. Thanks so much Tyrese.

  • HereItIs

    I just don’t know what to do. I want to read your book, everyone says it’s great, but I am a worried I will learn things about you I didn’t want to know. And I am such a huge fan that I would be crushed if I found out things I did not want to know. Ignorance can be bliss you know! Anyway, because I am such a big fan of yours and I have followed your career from the beginning and LOVE everything you have done so far; I promise you this…I will always support your work and I will work on getting a copy of the book. I will read it; PROMISE. Your #1 fan forever! V.

  • Glenda

    Tyrese really speaks from the heart to the heart in his book. He is writing about life. I can relate to the child he speaks of in his book, using his surroundings as an example of how you don’t want your life to be. Life is truly what you make of it. I thank Tyrese for giving it to us raw and uncut. Much success to you and may God continue to use you.

  • http://FollowTyrese.com LaurenDayMakeup

    How To Get Out of Your Own Way is honestly the best book I’ve read in years! The book read like a conversation! It feels like your in a room and Tyrese is just sitting there talking to you, straight from the heart! After reading this book I can truly say I am inspired beyond words to step up to the plate & score a home run in my own life! No more sitting on the bench just watching the action, its time to make the choices & become a better person. Thank you Tyrese!

  • Louise

    Yes I read this blog the other day.. I truely understand the importance of doing this and the positive outcome it will have on our lives if we all could “just do it like Nike” instead of self sabatoging ourselves into undesired outcomes. Basically I believe for some it has became an unconcious unaware negative habit or trait formulated early in life from routine promises being broken and repeated dissapointments over the years.. but after reading this.. Its now seeming so simple and quit easy to do. Thank You I needed to read this and imploment this into my life!!

  • Holly

    I went to the “Conversation with Tyrese” at Spellman College, and it was an amazing, and powerful gathering. This book is by far one of the most inspirational readings I have purchased. Congratulations Tyrese. by the way, I did want to come up and have my book signed, but there were too many people ahead of me, and I had another engagement to attend to……..church….Please let me know when you will be in Atlanta again.

    God is doing some great things in peoples lives, and yes there are the ones that truly need to hear his voice, and come back to his word. God is also stirring up somethings to make us see that his return is very very near. The spirit of the 12 elders have returned( his 12 disciples). The spirit of Abraham has returned. Those who don’t know how powerful the next issuance of time is, are not going to be within the realm of Gods awesome plan that he has had for us all from the moment he thought of our existance.

    Your book is the great realization to the world, of the what, why, and how in seeking and knowing and loving God. When we all learn that when Christ dies on the cross and his blood had shed, he shed his blood so that we can be able to come to the kingdom, because Adam and Eve had closed that for us when they sinned. Jesus allowed his crusifiction to occur, because he knew his time on earth was ended, it was time for him to go back to the father.

    Tyrese the words in your book are words that are truly, truly what mankind needs to hear, and take heed to………Thank You for this.

    Holly

  • victoria olajide

    By just reading this, i can say i have not been geting out of my own way . food for thought, i think it’s about time i start making changes in my life. thank you for writing this book, i will buy it straight away.

  • Corine

    Sometimes you just need someone to affirm what you already knew to give you the motivation to keep plugging away. Things were starting to get me down today but after reading this I feel a bit more like my normally optimistic and determined self.
    It’s always so nice to know there are other people out there who would rather be proactive and just feel the love, never cease to hope and not be afraid of a little introspection, a little reflection – to get on with life and make the most of it. Never stop being that person, man! So many people have said it but you really are an inspiration.
    Thank you for being amazing.

  • greenbean

    Life is a menu. You place an order, but delivery is not guaranteed. Sometimes you gotta go pick up that take-out or get in the kitchen and cook it yourself. I’ve relied on thinking, wishing, worrying, and even on handing over my troubles to God. The problem was that I was just ordering off the menu…”I want this. Gimme that. I didn’t ask for this, take it back!” But I failed at the part that required me to take action for anything to happen in my life. I was just going with the flow and reacting.

    Although taking action is still new to me, I can feel the momentum. And I thank for your wisdom!

  • Latisa Scott

    Gotta to get the book, seems very interesting especially with u on the cover :)

  • http://joycetayloropines.blogspot.com/ K. Taylor

    An intelligent book, written by an intelligent man. I’ve decided to set my boundaries and not let anyone dictate how I live my life. Reading this book has awakened dreams and goals I sacrificed long ago. I’m no longer scared of rejection nor am I scared of change. It comes with life and I’ve accepted it and am growing. Haven’t felt this good and positive in a long time and I’m entirely grateful this book was written and this man has the platform to share his knowledge. Thank you Tyrese.

  • jenny

    Love him and always have, but now I do even more after reading the book. It’s a wonderful book. Now I’m gonna get my son to read it. I need to get another copy to loan out, because I’m not loaning out my signed in person autograph copy srry :)!

  • http://Tweeter humbletara

    I really understand wht you are saying and by reading this blog and your book helped me see you in a whole new way….thanx alot for getting out of your own way …..And thanx for being you..

  • Champ!

    I feel that ‘life is a menu’ idea, but what happens when you can’t afford what’s on the menu…?

  • Chris Daniels

    I bought the book two days and between reading your book and reading the BIBLE it has changed my life around. I was losing myself for a while between going to school, my grandfather in the hospital and trying to meet expectations it was rough. However, I’m back on track and love reading your book, it even inspired me to write so I just want to thank you.

  • Dawnn

    I love reading all your posts. You are so inspiring!

  • Marybelle

    I got it on ibooks so far its an eye opener!! Life :)

  • Rebbie D.

    Typeset Ur book is so inspiring yet POWERFUL.. I

  • Alyssa

    This book is absolutely amazing. I read it in one day; it was so inspirational. It was so life changing that I gave it to my mom to read and then my sister. How To Get Out Of Your Own Way is extremely well written. Tyrese truly wants you to want better for yourself, and it makes you want better too. It is by far one of the greatest books I’ve read.

  • Rebbie D.

    Tyrese ur book is so inspiring yet POWERFUL… I never thought about getting”Out Of My Own Way”. Thanks and my mom ask me if she can read it.. I told get how GOOD it was….

  • Marketista

    Very cool. I agree with you 100%. I’m learning to do this again in my late 30′s. Definitely need to check out the book for some motivation.

  • http://kattywoman.net sophistigress

    This is a great read. I love to read books about people who have gone through stuggles and have came out of the fire successful. Very great insight and of course I love Tyrese and how he has handled the media throughout the years. True Capricorn!

  • Zach

    Im going to have to look into this.. Seems interesting.. :)

  • http://www.twitter.com/cdl233 Christa Lemos

    That is great! I recently went through something like that and I think a lot of people need to really find out who they are. Those were amazing words and I hope nothing but the best for you. Thank you.

  • http://www.specialolympicsny.org Teresa Gilli

    This is great! Thank you so much! Hope you are enjoying Germany! Sending my love to you@tyrese and also @trailingjohnson! You both have a great one! <3

  • LJ

    Tyrese has always been one of my Very Fav Singer/Actors to watch… from the Coca Cola commercial to this very minute as a soon to be Best Selling Author… He keeps 100 and that’s why so many folks -male and female- can’t get enough of what he has to do… Thanks for the loving inspring words and sentiments! You Deserve All the Good things That God has in Store…

    Peace and Blessings,

    LJ C

  • Terence Lipps

    The love we have for god determines how much we love ourself. God loves us because he gave us a healthy life, the life we love he created. Everything around us from nature to money, gold even was created by god because he knew we would need money. Diamonds is a natural earth element, god knows our needs but we need to surround ourself with people who loves us to give us self confidence to pursue our goals, not dreams but goals.

  • Lynn Jones

    Tyrese’s Book Is A great read! Open’s your mind up to Life and your surrounding’s! It will help You in many different area’s of your life. I recommend To everyone That’s In their Own Way… God Bless You AND keep up the Good work…

  • Yve

    What an uplifting post. I want to thank you Tyrese and I hope your book reaches many people who wouldn’t otherwise read such thoughtful and thought provoking insights.

  • http://manuallyexposed.blogspot.com Dee

    Love the Daily Love~ This is one of my favorite posts. I really like your messages of getting out of our own way and ordering what we want from life. A great reminder that in the end “if you don’t ask you don’t get.”

    Thank you for the reminder and the inspiration Tyrese!

  • medea

    Even though most people know u pick up things from your childhood. Your book brought so much to the light for me..it was a wake up call!!! I now see things my 17 year old is repeating!! And it stops NOW!!! Thank u!

  • Pat

    All I can say is that following Tyrese on Twittter changed my life, then the book came out and it was an extra light guiding me through accomplishing my dreams.

    Excellent review. No better way to put it.

  • Cyreeta

    I was truly inspired by this Daily Blog. I have been a fan of Tyrese since I was 14 years old and he did the Coca Cola Commercial. To know that this man came from one of the Ruffest parts of Los Angeles (watts) and was able to pull himselve out of that situation is just Beautiful. I can not wait to get your book, so that I can continue on my Path of self understanding and self acceptance.

    Thank You…. :)

  • Wynter

    Wow…. I’m left speechless. Just by reading the excerpt I learned something I’ll carry the rest of my life. I’m on my way to get that book as we speak. You are a great man Tyrese and wise beyond your years!

  • sesina

    On my way to pick up a copy now ……can’t wait to read it.

  • LaJoi Parker

    In reading “How To Get Out of Your Own Way” I find that you have a profound insight on Love & Relationships. Some of your views are unique in your own way/love walk, which makes them interesting and pulls the reader in and makes one ponder & relate it to their love walk if possible and if “the shoe fits,” then there’s the “flat foot” truth in your words on Love & Relationships by way of your own experiences that reveals the subject of Love in a way some may have never experienced or been aware/open to before reading “How To Get Out of Your Own Way.” As a Lover of Unadulterated Love and all it consists of, the degrees of stable and unstable love you discuss and dialogue with the reader on establishes a “checks and balances” between the female and male counterparts in a relationship, and brings to the forefront the females or the males choice to deposit in or withdraw from a relationship, with no Love lost, with “TRUTH” being the wager. Definitely, your dialogue on Love & Relationship in “How To Get Out of Your Own Way, is one of its strongest assets, among others within the book.

  • Pingback: Tyrese: Is there anyway I can get you to post a comment here?? http://thedailylove.com/how-to-get-out-of-your-own-way/ « Bossip Twitter

  • Ailee

    Speaking on your experiences has helped me and I’m sure a lot of others be able to open up our minds to believing in ourselves again. Thank you for YOU. Love your book, keep shining, you’re awesome!!

  • Veronica

    Thank You God for Tyrese D. Gibson, he is truly a gift. His book is profounf and very enlightening. It has given me a new propective on old thoughts. It has shown me that positive thinking works and should be incooperated into your daily thought patterns. Growing up in a completely dyfunctional family, who still thrives on dysfunction has been very hard for me, and I have distanced myself from them on numerious occasions, but always returned due to guilty feelings, but thank you Tyrese for confiming that its okay to let those hurtful people go family or not. BE FOREVER BLESSED.

  • Candy

    I’m in the middle of reading his book its great so far… I am going to write a review on it once I’m done reading it.

    http://simplycandycane.blogspot.com/ its

  • Sam Adewale

    Indeed am inspired by this prestigious article, may u never be disconnected from the source. You are change my perception on how far I can go in life acheiving great things.

  • Mike

    Can someone please give me a link to download the book for free please and thank you :)