At Thanksgiving dinner, my group of dear friends and I went around the table and shared what we were most grateful for over the past year. One 31-year-old musician said that he was most grateful for his heartache because his struggles in love have been the inspiration for his lyrics and therapy for his soul.
It got me thinking about how heartbreak has been the source of some of the most amazing songs, movies and pieces of art that move us because they touch our own tender hearts.
I do not know anyone whose heart hasn’t been broken at least once. Heartache is one of the unavoidable, yet most painful, human experiences. We cannot prevent it from happening but we do have choice over how we respond to it.
Has your heartache become your muse, or have you allowed it to become your excuse?
Are you allowing your hurt to become your excuse not to move forward?
Or your excuse not to open your heart again?
Or the reason for why you are unmotivated, gaining or losing weight, cranky, bitter, obsessed with your ex, drinking more, or having a negative outlook on love and life in general.
If you have allowed your heartbreak to take over your life and basically stop you from moving forward, it is time to channel it in a new direction. Stop being a victim and start being a creator.
Do this by inviting your heartache to be your muse. Take all the anger, sadness, betrayal, regret, and disappointment and USE it to create something new. The beautiful thing about getting our heart broken is that it cracks us open to raw and powerful emotions that we generally try to avoid. But these emotions that you may judge as “negative” are POWERFUL. You can either allow the power of undesirable emotions to paralyze you or propel you forward.
This month marks the 10-year anniversary of when my fiancé unexpectedly called off our wedding and broke up with me. I thought I’d never get over it. I was incredibly depressed and ashamed. I lost a ton of weight, withdrew from people, and couldn’t sleep. Until one day I had the insight to start to share about it. I began to write and channel all my pain onto the paper.
My heartache became my muse.
Instead of running from it or trying to just get over it, I leveraged it. Moving the heartache energy toward a creative outlet of expression was deeply healing. Instead of being ashamed, I started to share. Instead of blaming, I began to forgive. Instead of being a victim, I became vulnerable. Instead of turning away from love for fear of pain, I turned toward my own love and the Love from the Uni-verse. Ultimately my broken heart was the inspiration for my first book, which has been a huge success and launched my entire career.
Your heartbreak is just as powerful. It is not a life sentence of pain. You are not being punished. But if you deeply desire to experience relief, you must begin to embrace your broken heart as your muse. Let go of your ex and find YOURSELF again by engaging in a creative outlet like writing, painting, dancing, singing, or music.
There may be a great book, song, poem, sculpture, script or photography inside of you that is your best therapy and perhaps even the catalyst for a whole new form of sharing your gifts in the world. Very often our heartache opens the doorway for what becomes our great work. Eventually, misery stops being our muse and we open up to becoming an even bigger instrument for Spirit. Just look at Alanis Morissette’s metamorphosis from “You Outta Know” to “Thank you” and “Empathy.”
You do not have to be good at a particular form of creative expression and it does not have to be attached to any kind of career. It is also not mandatory that you share it with anyone else; however, if you do, I promise their heart will be touched.
Stop letting heartache be the reason for why you do not have what you want. It happened for a reason and often the very reason is so that you tap into your OWN love. You see, creative expression is just one of the gifts of a broken heart. We tend to project love onto another thinking that our source of value and well-being comes from being loved by someone else. But the truest and most lasting love is the Uni-versal Love we are all connected to. Getting our heart broken open is often part of the process of returning to the Love that is inside us.
If you are suffering from a broken heart, you will not feel like this forever (I promise!). So in the meantime, milk it for all it’s worth and muse it!
p.s. If you are suffering from heartbreak and want to get over it once and for all so that you can experience more love in your life, then join me for a retreat in Mexico. We have only two spots left so act fast! Details here.
Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it? You can check out her website here.