How To Handle Negative Comments!

Recently I’ve faced negative comments on my social media feed. While my immediate response was to forgive and delete, in time my ego got the best of me. I found myself stuck in the discomfort of negativity and personal attacks from people I’d never met. I felt sad, hurt, and worst of all, defensive. But rather than lace up my boxing gloves, I chose to find the lesson in the Internet backlash. I called on a message from A Course in Miracles, “In my defenselessness, my safety lies.” In this video I share my experience and the spiritual solutions I used for handling negative comments.



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Gabrielle Bernstein is the bestselling author of Spirit Junkie, Add More ~ing to Your Life, and  May Cause Miracles.


  • Chris

    I just want to say that I LOVED watching this video, such a great way to start my morning! Gabrielle, I love listening to you on HayHouse Radio and you have such a beautiful spirit, it’s magical to know that there are such dazzling people like you in the world! Keep spreading the love, xoxo Chris 😀 <3

  • Brian


    Really beautiful. The shadow side of being authentic places us face to face with, once again, of going within. Such an amazing process. And to just respond from love, b/c that’s what we am. And that is how I chose to live. What empowerment.

    Also, love the story Dr. Brown told on Super Soul Sunday about the naming of her newest book, Daring Greatly. I agree: stay in the ring come what may… There is no other life for us. Love and peace from Denver. Brian 🙂

  • Nina

    Gabby!!! It hurt me so much to know that you’ve been getting negative feedback like that! I recently read May Cause Miracles and I’m a huge fan of your blog posts, so honestly I felt a little protective hearing that! But I know you are a beautiful and enlightened woman, and as this video shows, you know how to take this feedback and spin it for the highest good. I don’t always agree with your points, but I know that’s just because we have different backgrounds and perspectives on certain things, and I can see the light and love behind what you’ve said and I take what resonates and leave the rest. It’s so true that people are getting too cruel these days. I’ve dealt with my own need to process negative feedback – not even necessarily feedback, but comments that go against my values, and I want to fight back and prove I’m right. Like you, I understand this isn’t the right way to look at things. This is the ego trying to do its thing. Thank you for this post, Gabby. That you for using your own experience to teach us more amazing lessons!

    Much love,

  • Gabby, you’re awesome! I can feel the love, honesty, and openness radiating from you in the video. 🙂 It’s the first video of yours I’ve watched, b/c I mostly just zip through and read the written blogs, watching very few videos. But I’m glad I made the choice today to watch yours. I saw the light within you pouring out, spreading love and encouraging all of us to love more too.

    I appreciate that you were honest and how you shared how some of the negative comments DID get to you eventually. And you shared what you did to get past it. As I’m learning in “The Untethered Soul,” which I’m reading for the first time now, negative feelings will arise within us from time to time. It’s normal. But what we can do is NOTICE them. Be the observer of these thoughts. We don’t have to let the thoughts consume us or get dragged down into the negative, dark places that our egos often go. Just notice when we’re feeling something negative and let it come up and out. It really is a gift when others trigger us, b/c it’s an opportunity to release some negativity and fear we have inside of us. And we all have it. Sometimes it’s so deep it takes a long time to release. But the more we release… the more we’re triggered and choose to let go… the lighter we become. The more “in love” we get. And THAT is the goal. 🙂

    Thanks for your awesome post! 🙂

  • Faauuga Moliga-Puletas

    We have to respect others and love ourselves enough to know that our words and its effect on others also effect ourselves. I am writing what I feel at the moment and this resonate with me so well given my situation. The more you love yourself the more you want to bring the same vibe into others. Forgive, live in the moment, and choose peace!! Happy Friday!

    • Becoming A Better Man

      Beautiful comment & spoken from the heart, I learnt the hardest lesson in regard to that recently & lost a friend who I shall always have only the fondest memories of. Why a person gets emotional & says cruel words before thinking in a mature composed manner is something I live with & am learning to be the better person. It just took to lose that angelic friend to wake me up from my slumber.

  • Michele Harvey Author

    When someone hurts you in anyway, my teacher, Neale Donald Walsch says to ask, “What hurts you so much that you feel you need to hurt me in order to heal it?” I invite you to learn about my new book, From Confusion To Clarity: Vital Personal Growth in 30 Days or Less.

  • Elsa Rincon

    Thanku! Loved your video, very inspiring. I need to work on feeling good about myself and not to look for approval from others. Thanks again

  • Lori V.

    Amen, Sista! I think because people can be anonymous on the internet, twitter, whatever, the knee-jerk reaction posts of “how dare you be successful and I’m not”…or “how dare you be comfortable with yourself and I’m not” are being sent. Keep being your amazing and honest self!

  • niklet

    Thank You Gabby.

  • Dim

    So inspiring video! Thank you very much! You are a very sweet person. Keep going. I am influenced by negativity of others, but I am learning to empower myself and be content with me, so as nobody could bring me down. It is hard, but everything is a matter of practice, isn’t it? Have a wonderful day! 🙂

  • Eurynome

    Beautiful, as always. I truly believe our most challenging relationships are the ones that have the most to teach us. Perhaps negativity and personal attacks do as well. Can I be grateful for these things, because from them, I will learn? A tall order, but I will try! Thanks for the grounded inspiration Gabby.

  • tedge

    You are such an AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL & INCREDIBLE person!!! Please reread Jonathan Livingston Seagull. I heard of this book from you. Keep up the great job!! LOTS OF LOVE!!!!!!!

  • Karen

    I’m halfway through May Cause Miracles and I love it – the fact that you are getting negative feedback from some is something to celebrate. It means that your message is out there and it needs to be.
    There will always be those who will lash back out of fear – no worries, keep up the good work and know that there are more of us who appreciate you!

  • 3487855

    Gabby! Thank you for the beautiful reminder. I was just facing this as well. It is always an opportunity to learn and grow, and the intense response is our indicator. You are a gorgeous being of light. LOVE to you dear one! xo