How to love again after you've been hurt - Daily Love with Mastin Kipp

How to love again after you’ve been hurt

Brene Brown said it best, “When you numb your pain, you numb your joy.”

It can be SO HARD to let yourself open up after you’ve been hurt. I understand, I’ve been there. But, we are asked to keep opening up. If we don’t we miss out on all the good stuff in life.

But how? How can you open up after you’ve been hurt and you don’t want to or can’t trust others. Don’t worry. I got you covered in this week’s Daily Love TV!

After you’ve checked out this week’s episode, leave a comment below and let me know how you plan to open up again – starting now.

Lots of LOVE!

Mastin

P.S. Take what resonates and leave the rest!

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Welcome to Daily Love TV, I’m your host Mastin Kipp, founder of the DailyLove.com. And a Daily Lover recently asked me “Mastin how do I love again after I’ve been hurt.” And I think this is such a powerful question, because the reality is you know, we’ve all been there, we’ve all had a broken heart, we’ve all been hurt before, but how do we open up again our heart in love? Well, lets talk about what Brene Brown says, Brene Brown says “When you numb your pain you also numb your joy.” So it makes sense that we want to close down when we get hurt, we want to make sure that we never get hurt again, that vulnerable thing wasn’t really working out and we should never trust again. The problem is, as human beings what we tend to do is “We Generalize” right? Then we get hurt once and then assume everyone else is going to hurt us.

We get cheated on and then not just that person is a cheater, but all people like that are cheaters. But we have to realize that each individual person is different, each situation is different. Generalizing can keep us safe, but it prevents us from experiencing true love and intimacy.

So how do you love again after you’ve been hurt? Well #1, with most of my clients especially in the relationship department, what I found was especially when it came to being cheated on is that from the beginning of the relationship my client made something more important than trusting themselves, more important than feeling safe, more important than listening to their heart. They made they excitement of it more important, or the mystery of it more important, and generally speaking if you have someone that is mysterious, mysterious means emotionally unavailable for the most part and there is nothing mysterious about that.

But when we start to realized that being hurt first of all is going to happen, but it teaches us how to trust ourselves. it teaches us that our intuition, our gut, that part of us that can tell us right from wrong, we have to learn to trust that part of ourselves, and generally what happens is that being hurt on the outside shows us that there is a lesson to learn on the inside and that lesson can be your worth it, you’re valuable, you are worth more than this, you deserve more than just crumbs of love, you deserve epic love.

So how do you love after you’ve been hurt? Well, first of all change your strategy, right, look back on your past relationships and go ‘What happened here?” was I cheated on? Did the person leave? Was in unexpected? How was I hurt? And then what was the lesson in that for me? The lesson was to trust myself, the lesson was that I need to raise my standards. And then here is the most important part of loving after you’ve been hurt you have to have courage, courage. Courage is moving forward even though you are afraid. But remember that Brene says “When you numb your pain you also numb your joy.” You may close down to protect yourself but the problem is when you close yourself to protect your self you may also close yourself off all the beautiful love, and joy, and passion, and aliveness, and excitement, that life has to offer.

So it takes courage to open up after you’ve been hurt. And also have the hope and understand that as you change your strategies, and you raise your standards, as you know that you are worth love, you are really worth it. You will create a new circumstance, and each person is different. Don’t generalize it, if you get caught in generalization which is survival mode is fine, but the problem with survival mode s that survival mode keeps us stuck, survival mode keeps us small. So what we need to do is rise above our survival mode with mediation, with prayer, with spiritual practice, but with also changing our behavior. But when you do, and you remain open, and you remain courageous, thats when love can find you after you’ve been hurt.

So in the comments below I would love for you to tell me what did you do before? How were you hurt? And how are you going to learn your lesson now? What is your new strategy What’s the new standard that you are going to set for yourself? In the comments let me know.

Also if this video has been inspiring please feel free to share it with family, friends, people that you care about to brighten their day. And also subscribe to us on YouTube so you get notified on our next update. As always here on Daily Love tv Take Action and Make It Real. I’ll see ya next time.

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