How To Maintain Your Sense Of Self When You Fall In Love!

When we fall in love, it can be easy to lose ourselves. New relationships can be blissful and exciting, but if we get carried away they can feel scary and out of control. In this vlog I share tips on how to maintain your power and your sense of self when you fall in love.




For more on this topic join me in September for my 3-week course on Fearless Relationships workshop.

Gabrielle Bernstein is the bestselling author of Spirit Junkie, Add More ~ing to Your Life, and May Cause Miracles.

  • Sharon H.

    Thank you Gabby. You are beautiful. X

  • David H. Breaux

    Come to know thy Self. Maintain that Self, all-ways. Then all relations shall flourish.

    With compassion,
    David H. Breaux

    • Eily

      Or not? Won’t some relationships that are meant to end, run their course, fade away or sometimes even crash n burn? In trying to be my highest self and share needs with a boyfriend, a 3 year relationship ended awith no warning or followup. I’m shocked, heartbroken and obsessing about it. I see it’s back to the spiritual work drawing board, I tried not to but now see I lost myself along the way. This was only the second serious relationship in all my adult life (I’m 59!) so maybe out of fear of being alone, I denied that this was not in my best interest or for my highest good. I needed this… ox

      • David H. Breaux

        Hi Eily,

        I hear you. I believe we are in constant relation with everything around us at all times, stemming from how we perceive Self to be. It is the Oneness of all life; we are part of all that is. I recognize that the situation you are in can be disheartening, devastating, and throw you off your spiritual course in life. One can also see it as part of the life path of understanding the deepest sense of Self we can comprehend. The most serious relationship you can have is with your Self first and foremost which leads to the discovery of your highest good that you then share with the world.

        I also believe we constantly relate to those who may not physically be around through our thoughts about them, i.e., past relationships, friends far away, loved-ones who have passed on, etc. It’s a choice between thinking of them with fear or thinking of them with love; that’s how forgiveness happens, even if the person isn’t around.

        Your thoughts?

        I hope these words alleviate some of the pain you may be going through. My heart goes out to you.

        With compassion,
        David H. Breaux

        • Eily

          Thank you for your kind words David. I am trying to feel only love and compassion for my novio (spanish for boyfriend, trying to elevate novio/novia into our lexicon in place of girl and boyfriends for folks of my age!). I am grateful this abrupt ending showed me the hole inside that needs shoring up. The pain will pass but I now know is purposeful. It is important to really honor it now and thanks to my daily lovers I feel so supported and am busy learning tools to fill it from within. Eily

  • shayjordan

    Thanks for sharing Gabby! I always learn from you. I’m actually on Day 40 in your MCM book and I’m just so appreciative. I bought Spirit Junkie last week and I”m ready to dive right in to that too!

    My issue is that I’ve been in a 5 year relationship and we’ve had two kids. Now that I am working on my high energy and he doesn’t want anything to do with it, it is getting harder as I branch out on this and as I build my business. I am working through it and I try to get back to my happy place after we argue about me being too high energy.

  • Heather

    Thank you for sharing this, Gabby! The timing could not be better for me. I’ve long worried (or outright been told) that being my authentic self in romantic relationship might scare someone off, but you are absolutely right. I recently met an amazing man who I feel very connected with, almost to the point of it feeling scary. I’ve caught myself a few times holding back what I wanted to give or say because it might be “weird”. And now I see that when I do, I feel a subtle disconnect, both from myself and from him. I’d been trying to figure out why that was, and this illuminated it perfectly. Thank you so much for this reminder! Sat nam <3