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Answer the Question: Who Are You?

Hey Daily Lovers! I just got back to L.A. after ten amazing days in Manhattan.  Celebrating the New Year there was a blast and I actually enjoyed the cold weather (probably only because I don’t endure it year round).  I also taught a sold out goals-setting workshop and spoke at an incredible event about intuition.  At both my workshop and talk, I asked the audience the question, “Who am I?” I like asking this because most people don’t know how to answer this question accurately.

Today I am sharing with you what I shared with the awesome New Yorkers I met about how to accurately answer the question, “Who am I?” in a way that will give you incredible insight into your TRUE self. We all get asked the question, “What do you do?” frequently. And most of us have an automatic response.  Personally, this question is not interesting to me. I’d much rather know who someone is rather than what they do.

So, who are you? Go ahead and answer the question in your mind. Take a moment to either think through it, or better yet, write down your answer before reading on.

If you are like 99% of the people I speak to, you most likely answered by listing the roles you play in life, or even the labels you’ve acquired to identify yourself based on where you are from or what you’ve been through.  For example: I am an actor, a lawyer, a wife, a son, a student, a procrastinator, an addict, a teacher, a role model, have ADD, a graduate from xyz school, a 29-year-old, a Texan, Jewish, Christian, Latin, a cancer survivor, and so on and so on.  The list is endless in terms of how we identify ourselves.  But roles we play, things we do, cultures we come from, or labels we put on ourselves are NOT accurate answers to the question of who I am.

You are not what you do. You are not who you are with. You are not the roles you play in life.  You are not your family, religion or race. You are not your age. You are not your gender. You are not your resume of jobs, interests and experiences.

So who are you? Here’s how I teach people how to accurately answer this question.  Think about something you absolutely LOVE doing.  When you do this thing time stops.  You are totally present, engaged and enjoying yourself.  Now here is the KEY: what is important is not the activity, but rather what qualities come out of you while you are doing it.  Take another moment to consider this and write down your answers. List all the ways of being that you experience when you are engaged in something you love.

I LOVE facilitating and coaching people and when I’m doing it, I am compassionate, inspired, creative, committed, generous, connected, sensitive, authentic, playful, thoughtful, giving, present, inquisitive, wise, nurturing, feminine and loving.  THAT is who I am.  I am not a coach and speaker; those are just the FORMS my essence takes.  I also LOVE being with my nephew and the exact same qualities come forward whenever I am with him, so please don’t think that you have to pick something that is tied to a job to do this exercise.

We get way to obsessed with form and want to know what we are supposed to DO as our life’s purpose. Your purpose is not something you can do, it is only something you can BE.  And when you know who you truly are and bring forward those qualities that are your true essence more and more in EVERYTHING you do, the more you will attract the forms that are most aligned with who you really are.

Stop trying to be someone you think you should be, or someone you think other people think you should be, or someone you think other people want you to be (did you get all that?!?!). And please stop identifying yourself by the things you do or roles you play in life.  Your essence is FAR more interesting and attractive!!

Much love,

Christine

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Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it?  You can check out her website here: http://www.christinehassler.com/

  • GLSO

    This is GREAT!!!  Thank you, Christine!

  • Dale Rogerson

    Wow…. I will never “label” myself again!  I AM so much more than a mother, wife, supervisor….  Thank you, Christine, for opening my eyes and heart!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christine-Hassler/505581166 Christine Hassler

       Yes you are and realizing that will make you an even more loving mother, wife, boss, etc :)

  • Crduffy0423

    Awesome blog today. Affirmation of my thought process today after listening to Marianne Williamson last night. In the absence of fear, there is only love and with love we can create miracles because miracles are love. Namaste

  • Stacey

    This is great! I lost my job a year ago (one that I had for 15 years) and somehow when that happened I lost my identity (or thought I had anyway) That job is what defined me for so long that I didn’t know who I was anymore. I am still working on figuring that out everyday, but I know I will never be defined by a “thing” every again. 
    Thank you for sharing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christine-Hassler/505581166 Christine Hassler

       so true!!! don’t ever demote yourself to a “thing”

  • Jessica Rodgers

    beautifully said! :)

  • Lance Fields

    The “so, what do you do” question…that one has plagued me for years. When people would ask me that question I would cringe, bite back a snarky remark and do my best grin and reply, ‘that depends on the time of day’. Knowing for so many years that I am more than the sum of my parts in a world of  ’you are what we say you are based on perceived values of status.’ has been the resentment I was able to let go of today. Upon awakening today I knew there was a shift in my experience and through my morning meditation, which was rapid fire in a way I hadn’t  known ever before, the clarity rang in with such power that I was freed. Freed from the labels I have given myself, been given, and given others, all those superficial status monikers that have no true substance. When I did the mini-exercise in your blog of ‘who am I?”- the Love flowed through me with a renewed and vigorous sense of urgency and refinement. It was an A-ha! moment for me if ever there was one. (fortunately there is no limit on A-ha moments)  I am here, I am loving, thoughtful, sincere, joyous, grateful, limitless, generous, hopeful, intelligent, exciting, nurturing, etc…Now and here’s the BIG ONE, I (yes ME, feels so right to say that) get to help “shake the world with Love” and spread the message that you and you and you too, matter for no other reason than you are here to love and be loved! That’s it. Everything else is just a bonus. 
    Thank you for sharing your Love, I am grateful for you!

    • Stacey

      That’s exactly the part that still plagues me a bit…”What do you do?” Society has led us to believe that our status or title validates our purpose. And if I’m being honest, there’s still a part of me that buys into it. My response (only recently) has been… “Enjoying life, and taking time to figure out who I am” 
      It’s interesting to see the responses…

      • http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/ Sarah Noel

        I love that. 
        “What do you do?”
        “I enjoy life!” 
        Ha ha!  I can just SEE people’s faces as they try to make sense of that answer. 

        I also liked Lance’s answer.  “Depends on the time of day.”  So true! 

        I’m going to start answering that question in one of these ways, or a combo.  I, too, get tired of the same old “what do you do” question.  I have a hard time answering it, especially lately, now that I feel (I know) that I’m so much more than what I DO to earn a living, or what my “job” is, in the traditional sense. 

        Sarah
        http://beyouliveyourdream.blogspot.com/

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christine-Hassler/505581166 Christine Hassler

       Lance – I have chills reading this!! AMAZING!!! I can totally feel who you TRULY are.

  • Drew

    Totally Amazing Christine! I love this…. This is DEF a paradigm shift as to not only HOW we answer this question, but actually ASKING this question of others! Thought provoking, I LOVE IT!
    With Love
    Drew

  • http://www.facebook.com/roxana.nunez Roxana Nunez

    I love to read, write and share what I have learned with others.  I am creative, thoughtful, smart, inquisitive, loving, faithful and funny.  Did I say I love sharing?  Thanks for your insights Christine, which I am about to share with my little world.

  • http://www.facebook.com/willsherwood Will Sherwood

    Well said, Christine

  • Christina Tarantola06

    Christine you are incredible and such an inspiration to me! I love reading your blogs, especially the ones about 20-somethings. I’m 24 and everything you write about being present, letting go of expectation and stop being so hard on ourselves really resonates with me. I hope to meet you someday… :)