I think the hardest thing to do in the world is to feel your feelings and not do anything about it. It’s amazing to me how so many folks in the world think that having feelings isn’t a good thing.
One question I get a lot is “How can I make the fear go away?” And when I get that question, I know there’s a misunderstanding of what it means to be human.
Fear – and many other emotions are all teachers. None of our emotions are “bad”. None of them should be “condemned”. Our nervous system is wired for survival. And we are learning now, at least in the West, that life is not just about surviving, but thriving. That is something we all desire.
It’s like John Mayer says, “Fear is a friend who is misunderstood; I know the heart of life is good.”
What if not only fear, but all so-called “negative emotions” are a friend who is misunderstood.
Think of physical pain. None of us want to feel it. But it has a purpose. It’s our body’s way of letting us know we need to pay attention to it. You could say that pain is a call for attention – for awareness. You could say that pain is a “wake up call”.
So what if that were all emotions were? A wake up call? They aren’t bad. They aren’t something to repress. They aren’t negative. They are just calling us forth and asking us to wake up.
Resentment is asking us to stop blaming other people and take responsibility for our lives.
Anger is asking us to feel the sadness below it – and then let it go.
Fear is showing us where we can have more faith and perhaps create a massive action plan.
The sensation of “lack” is showing us that the amount of abundance we have in our lives is related to how much value we have added in other people’s lives.
Perhaps anxiety is showing us that we are stepping outside our comfort zone.
If we could take the time to slow down and understand our emotions, we could turn them from enemies into friends. This starts by being able to feel them and not do anything about it. For many people this is the single hardest thing to do on Earth. I know it has been and still can be for me in many ways.
How much food have we eaten to calm our feelings? How many things have we bought to feel just a little better about ourselves? How much alcohol have we consumed, not to savor, but to push down our feelings? How many other things have we done that has made our feelings wrong and we’ve just suppressed them.
Your feelings exist for a reason. And it’s probably not the reason you THINK. When we stop making ourselves wrong for how we feel, we take the first major step towards transformation.
Carl Jung said it best, “what you resist, persists”. When we resist our emotions and make them wrong, they grow and grow and grow. When we embrace and express our emotions in healthy ways we start to see why they were there in the first place.
No amount of food, alcohol or drugs can stop your emotions from existing. Nor can any amount of food, alcohol or drugs silence the whisper of The Uni-verse that is calling you on your great adventure. And no matter WHAT other people have said, your feels and emotions are valid and when we love them, especially the dark ones, we begin to set ourselves free.
This is why getting a life coach, a mentor, a therapist, etc. is awesome. I have a therapist AND a life coach. I do this because I know I need to always be working on myself. And I don’t want to wait for a “crisis” to happen before I get help. Feeling your feelings is like taking a shower. The more you do it, the cleaner you feel. Most people think personal growth is a one-time thing. And it’s SO not. It’s WAY more than that. Is taking a shower a one-time thing?
Not if you wanna kiss someone, lol.
Creating a life that is surrounded by people who have your best interest in mind is key. Creating a life where you can express your emotions and have them Loved instead of neglected is huge. One of the biggest ways we hold ourselves back is by making ourselves wrong for how we feel. Yet, if we can see that our feelings are friends that are misunderstood, we can begin to love ourselves in ways we never knew possible. And when we begin to do that, we open ourselves to sharing and loving others in a profound and impactful way.
So, my question today is, how have you been making your emotions wrong? And, if you have been, and it’s true that emotions are friends who are misunderstood, what would you say your emotions are trying to teach you? Let me know! WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com
Love,
Mastin
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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.
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