I think it’s safe to say that almost everyone on the planet has been hurt in a past relationship. If you haven’t yet, then you will at some point. Heart break happens. It will either be a personal relationship or a business partnership or a friendship. It’s not always in the love and relationship category, but many times it is.
Today I want to talk about trusting even after you’ve been hurt.
As a man, I believe that it is important to show up and to be consistent – to be THERE for your woman. I think that one of the most valuable things in the whole world is the heart of the woman you love. And I believe that it is a man’s duty as part of loving his woman to protect her heart and never let it break.
Ladies, how many of you have been hurt in the past? My guess it, most of, if not all of you. Because of this, it’s vital that we guys understand that you are protecting your heart.
I’ve learned that women really want a man who is consistent, who shows up for her and who doesn’t waiver. It’s a man’s grounded, single-pointed focus on following his purpose, plus showing up for his woman that proves to her that she can open to him. A woman just can’t open herself and give herself fully to a man she doesn’t trust. (Editor’s note: This article is written about “men” and “women” but applies to all relationships; if you are in a gay relationship, substitute “man” and “woman” for “masculine” and “feminine” energy. Each person occupies one of those energies, even in a gay relationship).
Given that many woman have been hurt in the past, many of them have closed down to protect themselves. This doesn’t mean they don’t want love. Au contraire. All women truly want is to be loved, to be seen, to be felt and to be INTIMATE. But none of those things are possible without first establishing trust.
This is why I think it’s important to develop a solid friendship and base before diving deep into sex (learned this one the HARD way). I’ve seen that a woman who has been hurt in the past will sometimes rush to bed or have a fling with a guy that she doesn’t have feelings for. BUT – when there are feelings, when there’s chemistry, many times that is scary and she closes up even more. But really, deep down, I believe that she is waiting for the right man to see her, let her test him and to remain solid.
There is a fine line between what I just described and her not being into you. So know the difference.
But many times, amazing love could blossom on the other side of having patience and just showing up for her. When a woman gives her heart, it is her everything. It is so strong and capable of such love, but at the same time it is so fragile and can be hurt very easily.
So, today, don’t give up on her. Give into love. Get to know her. Don’t rush. Remember, when it comes to Love, sometimes the patient path is the fastest way. You can have amazing intimacy without sex. And when you build a friendship and intimacy up and let the energy build, you are preparing yourself to be in the most fulfilling, wonderful and sexually exciting relationship you could imagine. Sex without love is fun, but sex WITH love is Divine and the highest form of union between two people.
Call her bluff. See her hesitancy not as rejection but as a test to see if you are going to leave or stay. She will open up and give herself to the steadfast man whom she trusts. Be that man. Sometimes you have to fight for love. And sometimes you just have to show up, be present and let it emerge.
What do you think? Let me know: [email protected]
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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Take what resonates with you from the blog and leave the rest. Follow him on Twitter here.