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I’ll Be Happy When….

Hello, Daily Lovers!

Is this sentence familiar: “I’ll be happy when ___________” and then fill in the blank.

Are you waiting for your happiness to happen to you? Do you believe you’ll be happy when you lose 10 pounds, have a boy/girl friend, get married, have a baby, own a home, etc. etc. etc.?

Can you challenge yourself to claim your happiness NOW? There is no guarantee that anything we project into the future will happen. What we are assured of, however, is that this moment will never happen again and that this moment, right now, is the only one that exists. So, seizing all the opportunity and happiness that this moment has to offer is priceless and all that you know for sure exists.

Another interesting point on which to reflect is that when you do lose the weight, get the girl or boyfriend, have the baby or buy the home, will it be enough? Will you be happy then or will you then have to achieve another “milestone” somewhere in the ambivalent future in order to secure happiness? Many times it can become a never-ending cycle.

Do you have trouble being happy in the here and now? Are you too future-focused? I would love to hear your pearls of wisdom of how you feel happiness now, despite life circumstances, or support you in your stuggle.

I hope you have a truly, genuinely happy week.

Love Love Love

Terri

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Terri Cole, founder and CEO of Live Fearless and Free, is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach and an expert at turning fear into freedom.

Check out Terri’s website here.

  • Constance

    Wow!! Just today, i was thinking of how happy i would be when i see my almost-10months old baby at 2years!! unbelievable – i know but that’s how i feel sometimes because of sleepless nights and less time to myself. Most of the time we forget to live in the NOW and focus too much on the THEN or even in the past!! Thank you for reminding me how precious NOW is.

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      Constance – kudos to you for being a mom. The hardest job in the world!!! Hug that baby tight and savor every delicious moment. Your little one will be so big in the blink of an eye. My kids grew up so fast; now they have kids of their own! I love every minute of it. You too. xoxxo…

  • Guest

    I believe that, I have missed out on many happy moments in life , because I was waiting on the right circumstances to complete me. Now, I am accepting that I am perfect just as I am,  grateful for where I am and practice to appreciate this moment and revel in it. I affirm that I will be happy Now, everyday, always.

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      I am so proud that you have developed awareness and present moment consciousness to claim your happiness right now. Keep affirming it and it will keep this wonderful cycle going for you. xo…

  • Anon.

    It’s all about gratitude! Be grateful for the moment!

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      YES YES YES!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bill-Veik/100000254936585 Bill Veik

    My transformation took place 2 years ago. I have been through so much, but using Anthony Robbins have developed an attitude of gratitude for all of it. Using the new perspective I have found a gift in having the ability to help people, it fuels my desire to become a life coach after my physical issues are solved. I already have a long list of people I have helped. My viewpoint on this ability can be encapsulated in a quote from the T.V. show The West Wing;

    “This guy’s walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out. “A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you. Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. “Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on “Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.’ The friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.’”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bill-Veik/100000254936585 Bill Veik

    My transformation took place 2 years ago. I have been through so much, but using Anthony Robbins have developed an attitude of gratitude for all of it. Using the new perspective I have found a gift in having the ability to help people, it fuels my desire to become a life coach after my physical issues are solved. I already have a long list of people I have helped. My viewpoint on this ability can be encapsulated in a quote from the T.V. show The West Wing;

    “This guy’s walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out. “A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you. Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. “Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on “Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.’ The friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.’”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bill-Veik/100000254936585 Bill Veik

    My transformation took place 2 years ago. I have been through so much, but using Anthony Robbins have developed an attitude of gratitude for all of it. Using the new perspective I have found a gift in having the ability to help people, it fuels my desire to become a life coach after my physical issues are solved. I already have a long list of people I have helped. My viewpoint on this ability can be encapsulated in a quote from the T.V. show The West Wing;
     
    “This guy’s walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out. “A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you. Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. “Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on “Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.’ The friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.’”

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      Great quote, Bill! I am so thrilled you found the gem in what seems to be a not-so-great situation. It is so important to realize the potential that exists in every scenario rather than letting them beat us down. So so happy for you. I want you to get in touch with me when you’re a life coach – we’ll have to do something together! You have helped people you don’t even know by posting this wonderful comment here today. :-)

  • Hannah

    I was raised Roman Catholic and we are taught to have faith and to believe (more or less) that God has our back. However, it appeared to be more like hoping some outside power would save us from destruction rather than emphasizing the flow of divine grace & intelligence that naturally had our best interest at heart. And so, any real or pure trust in the present moment was never truly demonstrated for me. I, like so many others, thought my *salvation* was always OUT THERE, and would take any measures to arrive “there.” I realize now that now that “there” does not exist. In many ways, NOW is so much more delicious than any elusive “destiny” could ever be.

    Now I realize that it is in my CHOOSing to BELIEVE that all IS well, all is perfect in this moment no matter what appears to be in contrast to the life I *think* I want…my choosing to believe is what makes the difference, and also what causes life to actually show up for me in a harmonious way. It is in choosing to praise that everything is already working out and in fact IS ‘worked out’…sometimes this completely belies my conscious understanding of my life SHOULD look like or what is SUPPOSED to be happening.

    Now I realize it’s not about half-heartedly hoping or praying that that my elusive destiny will be fulfilled, but about TRUSTING deeply and fully that this moment *is* destiny fulfilled.

    It takes courage to adjust to this, to be comfortable in living from this place of “it is enough” and “all is well.” I suppose this is because most of us were raised on the pretense of  “here is never enough.” So before this way of thinking and being becomes deeply rooted in your consciousness, it is certainly a lesson in connecting with the moment, noticing your breath and what is actually happening around you without labelling it.  We all know the seduction of the ego-mind that would never have us buy into thinking that “what IS here and what IS happening is enough.”    Being happy as I am is something I am continuing to journey with. I love any and every conversation around how to embrace now as being enough!! 

    Terri,  thank you for shedding light on what appears to be a passionate topic for me!!! xoxox

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      Gorgeously stated, Hannah! You are enough. Period. The divine is within you. Harness it and realize its boundless potential. Your words are brilliant and spot on! xo…

  • Cara

    Can someone tell me how I can be happy when i have no means of paying my rent despite sending out so many CV’s? I have good qualification, but i am in a foregn land and it seems if you are not from this country uou have to settle for a cleaning job.. I have been applying all sorts of jobs from cleaning, to good ones but i get nothing and as we speak I have NO idea where i am going to get rental monety for the coming weeks. 
    How can i be happy in that case? How can i avoid thinking about my situation? 

    • Nourishlovecreate

      Cara, I hear you. I’ve been there last year and am there again now. Not knowing how I’m going to pay the rent…or for food, etc. I’m not in a foreign country though. All I can say is that last year, somehow it worked out for me, in the sense that I did every thing I could to make it happen, believed, and it did.

      Now, who knows what will happen. But the best I could come up with this time last year, going through that, was that one day I could look back on it and say, ‘This is where I’ve been.’ Part of a story and experience. It can be some thing that you can say you’ve been through, and got out of…

      It’s time to be resourceful, think of it in a different way, to come up with something. And I’m saying that to you as much as I’m saying it to myself, currently.

      Best wishes,

      • Cara

        Reading your post above, i think we are in the same shoes. Its hard to live in the moment, when there are some things that are weighing you down. A few weeks ago i was in a gratitude mode, like i would wake up in the middle of the night just grateful for something i cant even begin to comprehend. I have given life my best shots in everything. But i hate struggling. It is not one of the most positive things that can motivate you. I used to journal a lot, and now its fast approaching a week i cant find the energy or motivation to write down anything. I had promised myself that at the end of each entry i should say something that i am grateful for on that day, as we speak i cant even tough my book.. 

        Why is it that we have to eventually say i have been there i got out of that? Is it necessary? As much as i understand that experiences are part of growth, but some experiences are very frustrating, stressful, and they sometimes affect your spirituality …

        • Cara

          sorry i keep on posting without checking my spellings :(.. i guess that shows how bad it is

          • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

            As hard as it is, you MUST live in this moment. Ask yourself, What other moments are there? Especially when you are feeling down, you want to muster up the energy to feel grateful. If that is by journaling, set a goal. For example, I will journal for 20 minutes today. Don’t worry about what you’re going to write; just write whatever comes to mind, no matter how silly or pointless it may seem. Knowing how good you feel after writing will help you to do it. Also, there are some wonderful online communities that can help with job searches, financial planning, emotional and spiritual support, etc. I know you said you live outside the US, so maybe something online can help you feel connected if you are having difficulty finding physical support systems where you live. I encourage you to exercise self-care and take care of you! You deserve happiness, Cara. Please let me know if I can assist further. xo…

          • Cara

            Thank Terri for the post. i had an exam so was not able to write back immediately. I spoke with someone about my situation and i got relief even though my problem was not solved. But i am not as frustrated as i was when i was writing the post above. I guess talking about it sometimes helps, and i hope that there is something that will come around. I am an African studying in Europe so i am limited in what jobs i can get and for how long i can work. Some of the people i know are helping me find a job but i am not pursuing that with enthusiasm because they are encouraging me to lie, because that will be the only way i can get a job. But i am very very uncomfortable with that. 

            How can i contact you?

        • Nourishlovecreate

          Hi Cara, Last night I heard this story/interview on NPR about hope. Contrary to what might be expected, it didn’t focus on the future, but the present. I really enjoyed it and you might, too. The ideas shared really resonated with the ideas shared by TDL and what Terri has said about living in the present. It also talked about struggling, as you have mentioned. It is worth a listen. Here is a link that is already available: http://www.cbc.ca/tapestry/episode/2010/09/12/hope/ 

          (This is the link I originally found; the audio isn’t posted yet: http://www.knpr.org/son/archive/detail2.cfm?SegmentID=8507&ProgramID=2411 ) :)

      • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

        Cara, please read what I replied to NourishLoveCreate above. Also, try not to let external factors define you. Your job is not your true essence. Assess your passions. Is there a job you can create out of your talents and passions? Also, is there something you can do remotely/working from home? It is true, as nourishlovecreate said, you have to think differently. The power of your intention is mind blowing!!!

  • Nourishlovecreate

    Thanks for the reminder…I guess that’s all there is.

    I’d been having faith for so long and all of a sudden, I wondered deeply, ‘What if…’ What if I don’t have the job to pay the bills and rent…what if I’m alone forever…What if I can’t make it on my own…What if THIS is the destiny…What if I’m not capable of more… 

    All of the things I’ve wanted–what if I never get them? What if all of this faith is nice and all in the moment, but I continue to live in financial insecurity that is again getting close to not being able to keep my apt., and cat?…

    I’m grateful for what I have now, of course. But I want more… I want to not have to wonder if I’ll be without my  home in 2 months every month. I want to be able to buy food, go to the dentist, maybe buy a new pair of shoes without worrying so much about the money. I want to do work that is important and meaningful to me, that doesn’t cause me pain…etc. etc.

    I wondered, how could I be certain that I will actually get the things that I want (and think that I deserve)? And got very depressed about it suddenly, with these unanswered questions.

    And I guess there is no certainty…

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      What is for certain is that you can change your thought patterns. It’s not easy, but keep working on the affirmations and develop a meditation practice if you don’t already have one. Remember, the universe is all energy, so what you send out is how you perceive the world and, ultimately, what your world becomes. Assess your passions – is there the potential for a career or side job using them? When we are depressed and constantly saying “what if” we become constricted, blocking the flow of energy and not being open to seeing opportunity/the universe knocking. When we are present and working our way toward genuine happiness, we are expanded and opportunity flows easier. I hope this helps. Please do not hesitate to ask me anything!

  • Guest

    Be grateful for every moment,despite the circumstances..because even when you lose that 10 pounds or you get that boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever it is that you think will make you happy…there will always be problems to solve.
    Actually I prefer’ joy’ because to me’ happy’ says something has to happen for me to be happy…but joy is saying seize every moment each day is a gift.

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      Love it! Joy is a beautiful word to use. Thank you for your comment. 

  • I want to be happy

    This is the story of my life! I achieve one goal and then I’m not happy as I believed it took long or I just so forcused on the next goal! As I’m getting older I’m noticeing I’m letting life pass me by! Does anyone have any suggestion so that I can be happy today?

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      Develop a daily meditation practice. Meditation teaches you to be present, by creating silence and stillness through expansion, which is what we need to be happy now as opposed to being a fortune-teller or living in the past. If you need advice on starting a practice, I’m happy to help… just let me know :-)

  • SB

    <3 this Terri. thoughout my twenties i have chased different goals thinking that they would improve my life once attained, but they always fell short! It has only been the past couple of years that i have discovered the light & value inside. Like Bill wrote, coming from a place of plentifulness inside and knowing how much you have to share helps sooo much. Focusing on that is a completely different dynamic to straining for an external thing to get.

    I recently cleared my debt after a year and a half of scrimping, being on a challenging budget, with lots of focus to hit that goal. Yay me – i cleared it – but at first rather than feeling huge elation of a job well done, i felt kind of empty. That come-down of working towards something for a while, then… flatness. It is only now as i look back at who i had to be to clear that debt, who i have become & the things i learnt along the way, that i feel kind of giddy inside.  I agree that happiness can't be reached for outside ourselves, but i will say that goals can serve us and help us love ourselves even more by stretching us to become stronger.

  • SB

    <3 this Terri. thoughout my twenties i have chased different goals thinking that they would improve my life once attained, but they always fell short! It has only been the past couple of years that i have discovered the light & value inside. Like Bill wrote, coming from a place of plentifulness inside and knowing how much you have to share helps sooo much. Focusing on that is a completely different dynamic to straining for an external thing to get.

    I recently cleared my debt after a year and a half of scrimping, being on a challenging budget, with lots of focus to hit that goal. Yay me – i cleared it – but at first rather than feeling huge elation of a job well done, i felt kind of empty. That come-down of working towards something for a while, then… flatness. It is only now as i look back at who i had to be to clear that debt, who i have become & the things i learnt along the way, that i feel kind of giddy inside.  I agree that happiness can't be reached for outside ourselves, but i will say that goals can serve us and help us love ourselves even more by stretching us to become stronger.

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      So True SB. And, H-U-G-E congrats on getting out of debt! WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!! When you set an intention and make decisions in line with it, everything seems to fall into place. I know you learned a lot from this experience that make you a stronger, more confident person. Feeling bountiful on the inside creates bounty outside, just like you mentioned. It’s all energy, my dear. You should feel giddy and know that you can achieve whatever you set your sited on. So so elated for you!!!

  • Laparra36

    Yoss
    Destabilized a few years ago my world, I lose my work, my partner and increase 15 kilograms … and even I´m say a few months ago could only be happy if my world once again be the same as before … Today I now my happiness is within me to accept who I am, as I am and the changes that occur on a daily basis take it as experience. I try to nurture from people who project positive energy and light ;)

    • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

      Love this! Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Yes it is inside all of us and we have choices to make about what to focus on. I, too gravitate towards the light workers among us and am so grateful ;)
      love love love
      terri

  • http://www.terricole.com/ Terri Cole

    hi there-
    i think you are a young ambitious person on a mission to live a full life which is great! The key to being HERE NOW is to build your mindful muscle. Being a former Type A psycho I can promise you that if you start to rock a meditation practice you ability to be here now will explode and your joy will expand! If you go to my website http://www.terricole.com there is a page about how to meditate for begionners and I just released my first guided meditation cd which you can also get on the site. If you join my mailing list there we will send you a free meditation to get you started and if money is an issue there are tons of free meditations on http://www.chopra.com if you go to the tab that says library. I have no doubt that you can create a practice because if I can ANYONE can LOL! I will be here cheering you on like a wild maniac! I am also starting a 6 week course next wed the 25th about authentic living which will also cover meditation (which has a pay what you can option ;) Details on my site.
    love love love
    terri

  • http://twitter.com/OverpowerFear Michael Luckman

    Great article Terri. The way I teach this I have a black bag of Somedays. When people ask what’s in the bag I pull out different items and say, “Someday I’m going to have ______, or Someday I’m going be a  _____, or Someday I’m going to have a ______.” Everything always out there somewhere in the future. Then I remind them that “Today is yesterday’s someday.”