It’s Time To Get Real With Yourself!

mk_treesAcceptance and awareness of our current life situation is the first step we must take toward transforming our lives. Everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet that has to see the light of day before true transformation can occur.

If you’re feeling anxiety or uneasiness that isn’t caused by a chemical imbalance, chances are you are not in integrity with yourself. What the heck does that mean?

It means that there are things that you are not being truthful with yourself about. It means that your actions aren’t in alignment with your true core desires.

Example – you want to save money and pay down debt, yet you spend frivolous money on things that put you over budget every month driving you into more debt. Or perhaps you’re like me, wanting to lose weight, but not being realistic about how many calories you eat and the quality of food that you put in your body.

Or perhaps you want to be on time for someone you love and don’t show up for him or her, or show up late.

This is all just about an inconsistency in what you really want (healthy body, no debt, to show up) and how you’re acting. This inconsistency affects your moods and can lead to anxiety and all kinds of other negative emotions that tear down your self-esteem.

So, if there’s transformation that has to take place in your life and it’s being blocked, look first at the situation for what it is and accept it 100%. Then, look at the outcome you REALLY want and compare that to the actions you’re taking. Chances are, your actions don’t equate to the desired results you want. If you don’t know what actions to take, it’s time to get a mentor or coach to help you, which is why I do mentoring and have a life coach.

Be truthful with yourself about the reality of your life. When you look at your desired outcome and compare that to the action you’re taking, you get an instant reality check on why your life is the way it is. And what’s cool is that you can make a new decision with your new awareness right now and change.

So, are your actions in alignment with your desired outcome? Are you telling yourself the truth about how your life really is right now?

As always, the action happens in the comments below, leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Lots of Love and personal integrity,


P.S. Start 2014 off with heart! Join us in for our deep and powerful “Enter the Heart” evenings, full of Kundalini Yoga, Heart Therapy and a new opening to connecting to who you really are. Tickets will sell out, so don’t sit on it.

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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

  • Kahley

    Mastin – From my experience I suggest that the anxiety you describe goes deeper than a misalignment of core desires. One can desire all manner do things, e.g., power, wealth, etc., but if in achieving these desires one has violated one’s principles, i.e., their core values and belief system, that is what leads to anxiety – what I refer to as an “out integrity”. My actions are not in sync with my principles….which is a good thing. This feeling is my internal barometer, it’s like a tachometer, telling me that my engine is in danger of running too high.

  • Carlos Gonzalez

    I am guilty of not being in integrity with myself. I’m 57 and I still don’t have my finances in order. At least not like they should be. Even after divorcing my ex-spouse and giving her half of everything I own, I’m still in pretty good shape. I earn a good salary but have always been an impulsive buyer. My last big purchase was a brand new sports car. (mid-life crisis purchase). And yes, it’s red! On a good note, I’m only 6 payments away from finishing paying it off completely. I tell myself I am going to save that extra $600 a month or use it to pay down or eliminate debt altogether. Mind you that I have already thought about what is the right thing to do–I just don’t know whether I have the personal integrity to follow through. I don’t want to live beyond my means and I don’t want to struggle just to get by each month. I will take the lesson provided today to heart and work to improve my personal integrity.
    May you all have a fantabulous day.
    With Love,

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks so much for sharing, Carlos… We’re glad Mastin’s words can be of use to you and wish you all the best! -TDL Team

  • Victoria W

    Thank you SO much for this post this morning. It is exactly where I am with a serious issue in my life that I keep flip flopping about getting help for. I’ve struggled with this issue for more half of my life and it’s really getting in the way of my happiness and being present in life. I want to change and get help but I keep telling myself it’s fine, it’s manageable, it’s not that bad, I don’t have this issue. I self sabotaged myself yesterday and canceled a very important appointment and now I can’t get one for another two weeks. I’m disappointed and angry with myself for taking a counter action but this post helps me accept where I am and take actions towards having the life I want. Thanks again!

    • The Daily Love

      Great to hear this post helped, Victoria. Thanks for reading. -TDL Team

  • Omnee

    This blog post is completely accurate when it comes to pinpointing the real reason why a lot of areas in my life that seem to remain stagnant. I’ve mastered writing down goals and putting myself in the objective seat to better accept situations 100% for what they are. Howevver, I can admit that I do need to work on consistency when it comes to committing to the right actions to rid myself of bad habits or get closer to growing and developing as a spiritual and human being. I’m so happy to read these words Mastin! My 21st birthday is in less than 24 hours and I want. Nothing more than to step into my true purpose as a young woman and start putting forth true effort to get past all my demons and get to my destiny

    • The Daily Love

      Happy Birthday, Omnee! Start stepping now into that place of purpose… We’re wishing you all the best in this new year for you! -TDL Team

  • Lori

    I know I’m misaligned! And that it leads to lots of negative self-talk… leading to low self-esteem… which leads to inaction… which leads to not making the life I want… vicious circle!! I think I need help. I know I do! I don’t know where to turn. I don’t have resources for a professional counselor. And my small, southern city isn’t exactly bursting with life coaches. Help!

  • Phaedra

    “Actions not in alignment with true core desires”. I know I am not in alignment but my choices in action are limited. One example is that my life is pretty great but I am extremely lonely. I chose to live in a small rural town and buy land to raise my kids. Now I am paying the price. I do not have common interests with any person I know. The only social activity is drinking at the local bar and I do not drink. The action I would have to take to solve my problem would be to move back to the city. I would be sacrificing my land, home, pets and taking my child away from friends and what she calls home, rejoining the rat race, traffic, pollution etc. (this is a very simplified version).So I hear what you are saying but still do not see what actions can be taken that I have not already taken. The situation simply is this way until my child grows up and away and I can relocate. I am not in alignment with my desire to have close friendships based on common beliefs and values, or my desire to experience love and intimacy again.
    You mention getting a mentor or life coach. What do you suggest to those who have no money and live at least 60 miles from anyone who would offer services like that? Iv seen every counselor in town already. Looking for suggestions.

    • Kath222

      Hello dear Phaedra,
      I can feel the lock down of the prison of your thoughts here. I want xxxx, but can’t have it because yyyyy. What a painful situation to be in, to want something more than you have, but to also believe you can’t have it.

      I wonder if you can take a step back and challenge some of your beliefs here. You can be surrounded physically by thousands of other people (living in a city – let’s say NYC) yet still feel disconnected and lonely and feel like it is hard to meet like-minded people. So it doesn’t just apply to living in a rural area.

      You say ‘my life is pretty great’ but ‘I am extremely lonely.’ I think it is wonderful you have chosen to reach out and add a posting to this website – that is definitely a step in the right direction.

      Please remember that you always have choices and that nothing is ever hopeless. You chose to move to your area and have your home and life there and are choosing to continue with that choice. You can also choose not to continue with that choice. You have that freedom and possibility and movement. You are not stuck.

      You are just in a place where you want more in your life and you can’t easily see how you can get it. That doesn’t mean you can’t have it, just that your perception is limited right now.

      Instead of in-person sessions, have you thought of
      telephone sessions with a coach or a therapist or healer? There is so much love and support available – you can do some online searches and have some informal chats with potential coaches/therapists/healers before you decide who you want to work with. You will know who feels right to you.

      I pray you will be guided to someone who will be perfect for you and who can assist on your next steps in this journey we call life 🙂

      I wish you all the best in creating everything you want in your life!

      Lots of love to you!

      • Phaedra

        Thank you for your really thoughful response. I feel like you really understood what I was saying.
        I grew up in the city and I know you can be surrounded by thousands of people and still feel isolated, I did. I was young and dreadfully shy. It’s one of the reasons I moved to the country, I felt like if I wasn’t feeling good it was because of something within not outside of me.
        I have been following Mastins web site for a while now and post occasionally but I have been looking for a web site that has a forum or message board to have further interactions, mainly asking questions. If you can recommend any, please let me know.
        You say above ” there is so much love and support available”. I’m not doubting you but I am having a difficult time finding it! I just gotta keep looking. Thank you again for the understanding. It is truly appreciated.

  • David H. Breaux

    Hi Mastin and readers,

    I offer gratitude to everyone for continuing this journey together and creating this supportive community. Voicing this sentiment to keep up the energy of transformation.

    With compassion,
    David H. Breaux

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks so much, as always, David for your constant support. It means so much to us! -TDL Team

  • Colleen

    YEAH – what a brilliant topic, Mastin! When we learn how to uncover, embrace & find the gift for that which blocks us, our lives then unfold with arms WIDE OPEN! I attended Mastin’s week long retreat this past summer and loved it!

    Over the past 15 years of being an Integrative life coach, I’ve been providing techniques for you to find your answers within, unconceal the gifts of your shadow, so you have access to all of who you are! These aspects that we chose to ignore or push away are called Shadow Aspects of our personality. We disown them because we don’t like to be “x,y or z”, or we think we can’t. THEN, these aspects jump up & down and cause CHAOS in our lives just because they just want to be re-integrated – they just want to come home. If ignored, they turn into shadow beliefs & underlying commitments, which over time steer us away from where we want to go.

    My kundalini yoga teacher training opened up more energy to move through these blocks and uncover the vast potential we have in touching & creating our dreams! The mysterious “booga booga man” (called our shadow) always comes with life saving gifts – we just need to look at it all from another viewpoint! In total service – Colleen

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks so much for reading and sharing, Colleen! -TDL Team

  • TT

    I really needed to read this! It is so true that when you aren’t following your core desires your body and mind tell you. Also you can’t just THINK yourself to success because preparation + opportunity = success SO you must put the work in and believe in yourself! NEVER SETTLE! I was recently in a situation where my relationship and my job became one, I began to dislike my boyfriend, the responsibilities he had given me whilst adding me to the payroll and eventually I couldn’t look myself in the mirror without tearing up. It was not where I wanted to be, who I wanted to be with, and not my life’s purpose. On my journey of self-discovery I find it most helpful when I can’t quite define who I am, I can most certainly define who I am not. Thank You so much for this dose of Love! I have always thought there needed to be good news out there, instead of the horror and fear the is reported in general media outlets. Well Done Mastin Kipp! I am so grateful you have shared your wisdom.

  • Vanessa Waters

    I really resonated with this post. I’d like to share a quote on blame from the song Hour after Hour by Ani Di Franco (if you never heard the song track it down it’s worth it)

    you can’t really place blame

    cuz blame is much to messy

    some was bound to get on you

    while you were tryin to put it on me