It’s time to start trusting yourself!

To listen to the audio version of this blog, click here.

If you’re going to be successful and have personal integrity in life – it’s time to start learning how to say NO.

I get approached all the time these days from people who want to do “joint ventures” with me, or “affiliate programs,” or put an ad network on The Daily Love or “team up” with me in some way. It’s awesome, because there are a few times when someone has pitched me something and I dig it, but it’s SUPER rare. Lately the only things I’ve promoted that aren’t TDL are Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday (because I LOVE it!) and Marie Forleo’s B-School – because it’s amazing.

One of the most important things to understand about building a business, a brand or even a relationship is that TRUST is key! Why? Because the common thread in those three things is that you are building RELATIONSHIPS with PEOPLE. People trust people who trust themselves!

The question then remains, HOW to I build trust with my customers, my fans or the people that I love? We can reference Shakespeare for that -“To thine own self be true!” Or as I like to say, be 100% Self- Approved! This is what integrity is all about. See, what happens when we aren’t Self-Approved is that we don’t trust our own intuition and as a result, things get whacky. When we don’t trust ourselves and take action from a place of insecurity or desperation, inevitably what will happen is that SOMETHING will go wrong in your life and you will kick yourself and say “I KNEW that was going to happen!”

Why? Because every time we don’t trust our own intuition – things don’t work out for the best. Learning the difference between your intuition and your fear and insecurities is a lifelong process. But generally speaking your intuition just “feels right” and it’s something you KNOW you SHOULD do. But things tempt us away – money, sex, food, success, etc., etc., etc. We abandon ourselves, our integrity and our intuition for a greater payoff. And in doing so put our life on a collision course for a MAJOR lesson.

In my own life I’ve turned down large sums of money because it wasn’t in alignment with me. And it was in a time in my life where I had MASSIVE uncertainty about where I was going to eat next week. And in the long run I’m SO happy that things turned out the way that they did, because they’ve turned out better than I can ever imagine.

So consider that if things aren’t going quite right – there’s a lesson you are learning about trusting and relying on your intuition. AND if your life is going SUPER CRAY CRAY right now, consider that it might be a Divine storm, getting you back on the right track!

So – where in your life have you not been trusting yourself? Where do you need to say NO? Where can you make a decision that is in alignment with your integrity instead of your fear? TDL comes ALIVE in the comment section, so leave a comment and let’s discuss!



  • Adwoa Jayne

    Thank you for this post, I have discovered the long way around that 100% intuition is key. Now I know, I am committed to honouring it and live by it everyday and now life is a lot more fun.
    Thank you

  • Karen

    Cool! This week I did! I’ve totally followed my intuition and went back to be a happy person… stronger and full of confidence! Thanks!!!

  • Cristin Bentz

    Funny enough, I have been going through this issue the passed couple weeks. I have been letting my fear of the past outweigh my gut intuition and it has been taking a toll on my relationship. Talking it out with a friend and reading this blog showed me that i need to start trusting my intuition and stop letting my fear of the past ruin my future. Thanks for helping me figure it all out! 🙂

  • Shaun_smith75

    I’m 37, and after not trusting myself or living a self-approved life for way to long….I finally decided to pursue my dreams and start my own company … In the city I’ve dreamed of living in for years. Just a few days after I made my decision, a company offered me a dream job. I struggled with whether I was making a good decision to turn down a secure income just to follow a concept and idea and mice to a new city! I can’t begin to count the unknowns!! 🙂 Fact is, I’ve failed more than once professionally.

    Last night I turned down the job offer based on integrity to myself and my decision. I slept like a baby …. And to wake up to this wonderful blog encouraging me to trust my intuition and learn to say NO… Gave me an extra boost to keep on packing! Chicago here I come!!

  • Katherine

    I loved this post! It totally resonated with me. Having recently gone through a break-up, this post reassures me that I made the right decision. My intuition has told me many times to call it off, but I didn’t. I was scared of being single, on my own, to really dig deep to discover myself. After analyazing and reanalyzinig the thought of breaking up, it hit me….my intuition is telling me something for a reason. While the decision to break-up may not make sense to me, or even logical to me, it is the true voice I should listen to. As I continue through your week long seminars of Mastering  Your Fear, I went from continuing to question “if I made the right decision” to feeling proud of myself for being strong enough to trust my intuition and move from the reckless certainty to the necessary uncertainty. It feels weird and uncomfortable to be without my ex-boyfriend, but it also feels empowering to embark on this spiritual journey with your insight! From my heart to yours…THANK-YOU MASTIN!

    •  This so resonates with me!  I just ended a toxic relationship where I was emotionally abused for 16 months by a man that I let come back just recently, only for him to continue what it was that I didn’t feel comfortable with before.  Of course, he turned everything around on me and blamed me for all, but deep down, when I sat quietly and asked the universe to give me guidance, it did and he walked.  I no longer yearn to “fix” us as something greater is coming my way!  Scary, but I need to see it as a gift and not a setback.  Our spiritual journeys await!!

  • Ha!  

    I was contemplating taking a temp position to ease a little money anxiety just last night as someone had emailed me with it yesterday. 

    I decided against it.  I felt in my gut from the very second it was offered that it was wrong, that I needed to go full throttle with my business in Q4 and not lose any momentum or be distracted in any way right now.

    Then I wake up to this email.  I love the Uni-verse.  It’s always got my back and it just gave me a little wink with this post today.  I’m trusting my gut and saying ‘no’ today for sure.  

    Taking the position would not only be out of alignment with my dreams but would also be a decision based entirely on fear.  I trust my intuition. I trust the Uni-verse. I trust myself. Thanks, Mastin! 

  • Guest

    Wow. Sometimes your posts are so timely it’s scary. I am 9 months into my new consulting business and I’ve been having major setbacks. I’ve been waking up at 3 am for several weeks just in utter fear. I’m a single mom and have 2 clients that pay me well – enough for me to pay my bills. But then I’m SO afraid that I will lose them. What if they dump me tomorrow? What will I do? I’ve been paralyzed by fear. I’m losing my mojo. And the more I doubt myself, the worse it gets. And the more I’m afraid, the more I don’t want to do what I’m doing.

    During this fearful time, I have a friend that offered me a sales job. I met with him yesterday. The job would have benefits, a salary, and commission. I left the meeting almost wanting to take it. The thought of not having to wake up and wonder where my next paycheck was incredibly tantalizing. But 9 months of all the hard work I’ve put into my consulting business would be thrown away. Do I give it up for this job or do I keep going? I feel so burned out from all the stress… I just want out sometimes.

    But then I told my girlfriend about the job. And she smacked my head against the wall (figuratively, of course.) She said, “WTF are you thinking? That job would be a step down for you! You are scared and letting your fear rule your decisions!”

    And she was so right. Wow, I’m freaking terrified. So I journaled about it and said, I need to start trusting myself more. I made an action plan last night and felt better. I still woke up at 3 am with horrible fear – but this morning I am better. But I feel like the universe was testing me with that job offer. But I’m going to keep going and make it happen!!

  • DL

    Thank you for this one, although I’m not quite sure what to do with it. This has been my life for the past five years! Talk about MAJOR lessons. I lived abroad for almost 20 years following my heart and intuition and was really happy. I lived in Amsterdam–the city of my dreams. Five years ago, for particular reasons, I came back to Orange County and have been struggling ever since, working shit jobs, found a decent job but then got laid off. So now I’m unemployed and totally stuck, accumulating debt, 49 years old, and really frustrated with life. Would love to return to the city of my dreams but now I’m stuck like a fly in the web with no money in an expensive city and crappy economy. I don’t even know what intuition is any more and not sure how to find my way back to it. So, thanks. I’m sure this is here for me to listen to and try to find my way back.

    • 2yoshimi

       DL–the simple fact that you just wrote what you did above shows that you are “in the process” which is not so comfortable or good-feeling. Have faith, hang tough, and you are in my prayers.

  • Fx_krstna

    Right on time. I’m in a relationship of 9 months so far. The longest in about 9 years. I have dealt with some unhealthy situations involving relationships and have finally met a man who, deep down inside, I know I can trust. He hasn’t shown me otherwise. Yet, anytime he’s doing something I don’t know about ahead of time or he’s at his place and I’m at mine for the night, fear takes over and my mind imagines that he may be cheating. Sometimes I want to drive by his house just so I know for sure… but the kicker is that, deep down inside, I know that I don’t need to do that. Your post just let me realize the difference between my fear and my intuition. My fear sometimes gets me in a panic and turns my stomach so much that it feels like that “gut feeling” we recognize as our intuition. I’ve also realized that when it’s my intution, I don’t panic. Something may be going on that I don’t like but I am able to keep calm through it. Thanks Mastin!

  • Alana

    This post is amazingly relevant to what I’m going through right now. Yesterday, I was certain that I needed to break up with my boyfriend. We’ve only been together for a couple of months and have already faced some major issues in communication and compatibility. I’ve had this feeling deep down almost from the start telling me this wasn’t going to work out. I didn’t have any good evidence, so I decided to stay, thinking maybe it was fear (although my intuition is rarely wrong).

    Something came up recently that felt like a dealbreaker to me. After thinking about it for a few days, I decided it would be better to end this and move on. But I’ve never broken up with anyone before, and without much persuasion at all, I backed down last night and said I wanted to give it more time. So now I’m stuck, and the only way out of this would to be to go back on what I said to him last night and end it for real. I wish I had listened to myself and not my fear because now I think our (probably inevitable) breakup is going to be even harder on both of us when it happens. I should have trusted myself and my feelings to face the short-term pain and uncertainty of being alone instead of what is now going to be a struggle to try to navigate a broken relationship I’m still holding onto.

  • To say no is an intuitional yes!

  • I have been in a”Divine Storm” for years now and it took A LOT for me to fall to the ground in humility and trust in what my higher self was telling me. My whisper was not what I wanted to hear…MY WILL no longer worked for me. I knew it was what I was called to do: I needed to submit to THE WILL of GOD, MY HIGHER POWER, or THE UNIVERSE. I trusted that I could not do this alone. God gives us teachers to get to us where we need to be and I found mine. I asked  Cinnamon Lofton, who is fully surrendered to LOVE, to be her student. I knew what this meant. At first, I was scared shitless. After a week of prayer, she said, “Yes.” “A Guru in Sanskrit means a teacher or master especially in Indian Religions.”  Although I don’t think of her as my Guru-she is. Because we don’t live in India-I tell myself that I am judged. My whisper knew she was the REAL DEAL although I have been criticized (especially by my dad) for thinking so. I have trusted my whisper and I am beyond grateful. He now is seeing my changes and told me the other day, “I THINK you are a nicer person than you used to be.”  LOL!  Man, he has been a HUGE teacher for me to not buy in to his good opinion and love myself regardless.  Anyway, I am given SADHANA’S by Cinnamon.  I trust in them completely.  If you are interested, you can Google it.  “It literally means ‘to accomplish something’ and it is an ego-transcending spiritual practice. It is to become closer to God, faster spiritual progress, and love for all living beings increases.” I am finally walking the walk AND it ain’t easy.  One of my first Sadhana’s was to stop wearing ALL make-up.  It was lifted on Sunday.  For the first time in my life…well, since 12 years old, I feel beautiful without it.  This journey for me is just getting started and although  it may seem crazy to some, I have never felt more sane. So, the question begs, “Do you trust me?” 

  • Lois

    As I was walking to my laptop to read your blog this morning, I was thinking about why I was not trusting this constant intuition I have been having for months about a particular situation and letting my fears and insecurity take over…then I turn on my laptop and click the bookmark to your blog and this came up….perfect timing! THANKS for the reminder to trust my intuition and let go! 🙂 

  • Jennifer

    Mastin, you’re awesome! I have a new favorite saying “Super Cray Cray” lol!

    Love it!

  • Lucille Rogers

    On a day when I feel very ‘fuzzy’ about a whole bunch of stuff this message spoke straight into me… always deeply grateful….need to think 🙂