I live a very unique life in that the majority of people that I hang out with are on some kind of spiritual path. It would be a path of yoga or meditation, or A Course In Miracles or MSIA, Christianity, Buddhism, The Landmark Forum, life coaching, 12-Step; you name a spiritual path and I most likely have a friend who is on it. It’s totally rad to be surrounded by so many amazing and diverse folks. They are all growing, all Loving and all about getting back to LOVE.
BUT – there is one little thing I’m feeling inspired to write about today. Sometimes when you live in a world like this, we tend to have almost our own language. It’s not like a normal dialogue. In everyday conversation we are talking about limiting beliefs, your growing edge, your inner child, connecting to Source/God, meditation, projections, integrity and other things of this sort.
And I LOVE this stuff because it’s who I am, but sometimes – I just gotta VENT.
And I’m noticing this trend that in a lot of circles, that’s not OK, because it seems “negative” or “unspiritual” to vent. But COME ON PEOPLE, we are all human and it’s just nice to be heard sometimes without needing to formulate the perfect sentence that matches your personal growth dogma!
I think one of the most powerful things we as human beings can do is to listen. And listen without judgment or the need to fix. To accept as PERFECT wherever someone is in the moment and not try to “fix” them with our spiritual tool kit.
A lot of my friends are coaches and sometimes I’m just trying to vent to them and they immediately go into “coach” mode, instead of just listening as a friend. YES, I KNOW I have limiting beliefs. I KNOW that what happens is because I’m triggered by some event. I KNOW I have to take responsibility for my life. And you know what… sometimes I just gotta be human and vent.
It’s vital that we keep growing and support ourselves by surrounding ourselves with people who will lift us up. AND – at the same time, the journey is also about fully stepping into and accepting our human nature – without trying to FIX anything.
I REALLY believe that two of the most powerful tools we have are self-acceptance AND being seen/heard in a way that meets us right where we are. THEN – after that’s happened – if the person is READY and WILLING, step into problem solving.
So – here’s an idea if you are having this issue. Instead of just starting to vent – PREFACE your friend or partner and say, “I need to vent for a minute. Can you hear me out?” This PREPS them to be able to be READY to receive and meet your need of venting without trying to coach you. Then, afterwards once you feel like you’ve been heard, feel free to say, “OK, now I’m open to feedback.”
This helps us be HUMAN and GROW at the same time!
So where in your life could you set this boundary with someone OR where in your life could you stop trying to fix someone and just LISTEN to them?
As always, the action happens in the comments below, leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!
Lots of LOVE,
Mastin Kipp is the founder and CEO of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.
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