Learning The Art Of Courageous Love!

January 29, 2013 by Michael Eisen 43 Comments

For the past couple of months I have been blessed with the experience of being in the most amazing, intimate and heart-expanding relationship. From the moment that we met, I felt a stirring deep down in my soul about how powerful our connection truly was and who we could be for each other. But, knowing myself very well, being a true romantic and big pile of mushy gushy love, and how easy it is for me to go off into some future fantasy and become completely enamored by a person and a story, I recognized the need to try and stay present in every moment that we were together.

For the first time in my life I felt as though I had manifested EXACTLY what I was looking for. We were truly compatible and complimentary to one another on every single level. As more of our layers were peeled back and more truth was revealed, there was never a moment of wavering or questioning, but instead everything seemed to be confirming what I felt in my heart and knew in my soul.

The most beautiful thing of all was that I began showing up for her in ways that I had never showed up for any other person on this planet before. I was present whenever she needed me, always showing up looking for how I could serve more, support more and love more. All of my old self-sabotaging habits that seemed to surface in previous relationships had dissolved almost instantly.

As time progressed we grew even closer, experienced more together and learned to trust each other completely. Although this whole experience was new for me, something about it felt so familiar. For the first time I realized how ready I truly was for this type of partnership.

The challenge was the closer we got and the deeper the love and trust became, the harder it was for me to stay present when we were not physically together. I would go off into my dreams, thinking about all the wonderful adventures and experiences we could have together in the future and how our partnership would manifest into perfect form. I even began looking forward in the calendar to make plans for us to be together in certain situations and occasions.

Being the very open and expressive person that I am, it was hard for me not to share my visions and feelings about her and us. I guess I was unconsciously looking for her to validate that I wasn’t the only one having them. However after expressing them to her, I was met with a response that I didn’t want to hear.

One of my greatest fears has always been to fall in love so deeply with another person and to allow myself to be so vulnerable by expressing it freely and openly, and to then realize that they do not feel the same way or have the same visions of who we are for each other.

Unfortunately this time around that fear came true. Although she loved me so deeply and cherished our relationship so much, she did not feel what I felt and did not share the same vision of the future that I was holding.

This was incredibly painful for me to hear as I knew in my heart that she was truly the greatest gift I had ever received. How could my feelings and visions be wrong?

After feeling through all the sadness and reflecting on how to move forward, I was blessed with a major aha moment and my mindset shifted to seeing this as another opportunity for a big breakthrough in my life.

Up until this point, the love that I was giving and feeling was so deep that I thought it was truly flowing through me unconditionally. But at the same time, there was still the underlying desire to hear the words “I love you” or “I cherish you” in return. As much as I thought I was not attached to being loved back, it turned out that in some way I was. There is also a great amount of uncertainty when it comes to loving another person that can never be truly known. In my mind, I was dreaming and planning about the future because I wanted to feel certain that this feeling would last, that we would indeed be together as partners. It was as if mapping it out in my mind made me feel like it would all come true.

I now realize how much courage it truly takes to love another person, show up fully for them with an open heart looking to give and support wherever you can, without expecting anything in return and without knowing where it may lead to.

The art of courageous love is not about closing off your heart to protect yourself when you hear something you don’t want to hear or see something you don’t want to see. Courageous love is about keeping your heart open no matter what the outcome or circumstance. When faced with uncertainty, you love and trust even more. It’s about honoring and cherishing each moment you have together from that loving space, without looking for how you can create more of those moments in the future.

From this point onward I vow to practice and embrace the art of courageous love in all areas of my life. I choose to be present and cherish each and every moment I have with whomever I spend it. I choose to show up fully, support unconditionally, trust unwaveringly and love courageously.

After all, I can’t predict what the future holds. Feelings change all the time. I honor what I feel, and what others feel in the moment, and look no further than that. I trust wholeheartedly that whatever unfolds will always be for my highest and best good. And most importantly, my heart will always remain open.

Love,

Michael Eisen

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Michael Eisen is the founder of the Youth Wellness Network, an organization dedicated to inspiring and empowering youth across the globe to live happier and more positive lives. Michael’s new book Empowered YOUth: A Father and Son’s Journey to Conscious Living, co-authored with his father, is now available everywhere books are sold. To learn more about Michael and the Youth Wellness Network, visit: www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca, connect with him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter: @youthwellnet

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C.

Beautiful! The most important words here for me are “From this point onward I vow to practice and embrace the art of courageous love in all areas of my life. I choose to be present and cherish each and every moment I have with whomever I spend it. I choose to show up fully, support unconditionally, trust unwaveringly and love courageously.” So many times we are only open to romantic love when we have love all around us from everywhere even the guy standing behind you at the coffee shop. Someone’s smile is love. Someone’s support is love. It’s difficult to not think of a beautiful future with someone you feel so connected to but the most important connection is to yourself and the Uni-Verse. All other love is the yummy extra!! Love & be loved!! Thank you, Michael! As always beautifully and soulfully communicated! <3
- Michael
  
  Thank you so much C.! You are totally right – we tend to only be looking for love to show up in a specific form and sometimes we don’t notice it in the other forms that it is already there! And yes I agree the most important connection is to yourself and the uni-verse – everything else is icing on the cake . All that being said I have truly realized though that no matter how much we love ourselves and cultivate a deep connection with the divine – nothing can replace the feeling of being in a conscious partnership with another person. It is why I believe we are in some ways hard wired to pair bond as humans – now the challenge for all of us is to do that while maintaining our connection to self and the uni-verse! Something I am constantly working on myself
http://www.BusyMomsParenting.com/ Ashley Ryan

I love this Michael, what a wonderful share!
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Thanks Ashley! I am glad you appreciated it
ClaudeLagang

You’re awesome. For me love is not about give and take… It should be give and give. What I mean to say is that, we should always give the love towards to people we truly love and care for, without expecting for something in return. Just in my own thought.
By the way, thank you for this wonderful blog of yours. It really helps me. Be blessed as always.

Claude
http://relationship-consciousness.webs.com
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Thanks Claude I am glad that my blog was able to help you. I agree in the sense that when we are truly loving ourselves we can show up and love and support without expecting anything in return. Yet I have also realized that that is a fine line to walk because in some sense if the relationship becomes a bit more one sided or not balanced then you have to ask yourself if you are truly valuing yourself at your highest capacity. For me I will show up fully for those I truly love deeply, but I also want someone to show up fully for me too. This was a huge lesson for me in this relationship to truly value myself and see that I am truly worthy of that kind of balanced partnership!
Shalom Kane

Beautifully expressed Michael. Living in the moment counts for good moments as well as not good moments as much as we are inclined to “look down the road” at new positive relationships. Good or not, all those moments are all temporary. If we take care of the “now” moments the future will take care of itself….
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Very nicely put Shalom! When we are present in each moment- there will be experiences that feel good and ones that don’t. It is our tendency to take how we feel in that moment and project it onto the future creating a story that future moments may feel the same way. The more we just do our best to BE in each moment without looking past it – the easier it becomes to just trust everything that unfolds. This requires a great deal of awareness, practice and commitment – and something I am working on every day to the best of my ability
Tara

One of my favorite blogs to date by you Michael!
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Thanks Tara!!
…

This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Just what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m sending lots and lots of love to you
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Thank you so much I am really touched by your kind words and how much my story and insights were able to provide you with the comfort and inspiration that you needed today. So grateful for you sharing your comment!! And of course thank you so much for the love – Sending SO much love back to you as well!!
  - Sam
    
    Hi Michael, I am new to relationships and just recently went through a break up with someone I was with for four years. Im confused and when we first broke up he said to me he wasnt sure how he felt, six months later hes now just told me actually hebjust doesnt love me. I have read your post and I admire how youve got meaning from your experience. But u said that she loved you deeply and cherished your relationship but didnt ave tthe same id ea l you had for the future. Im truly comfused, if someone truly loves you then shouldnt they want tobe with you otherwise they just fidnt really love you. Doesnt it just demean what you had together when you realise you were the only one who really cared?
    My ex up until the day before we broke up said I loved you then two months later put up how ge is now ready to meet his soulmate. And all I can help think about is how truly miserable he must have been with me
    - http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
      
      Hi Sam. The thing with love is that it is not so black and white. It is definitely possible to have a deep mutual love for one another and really cherish what you had in each moment and not end up together. The thing about feelings are they always are changing. What you feel in a moment can change the next moment. In my relationship it was definitely not one sided when it came to how deeply we loved and cared for one another – but there was an imbalance in the way that I was showing up for her, holding space for her, giving to her – and she was not in a space in her life to give back to me the same amount. At the time I was ok with that because I felt that in a true partnership things would balance themselves out. But now that I am out of the love bubble I realize that I was not valuing myself high enough to demand it back – I was not unconsciously feeling I was worthy of her showing up fully for me – I dismissed it when she brought up how she felt bad that she could not give to me what I was giving to her and my response was always – I am not giving to receive. But I now realize that this can create a very fine line to walk and I know now that my next partner will show up for me as much if not more so than I show up for them because I truly believe I am worth it! The reason we are not together now has nothing to do with how much we loved or cared for one another – it was that there were a few things that were not aligned in the way that needed to be for us to build a long lasting partnership.
      
      When it comes to your relationship and he tells you now that he doesnt think he loves you – I don’t believe that is the truth. I think what he is doing is projecting how he feels right now onto the past when you were together. Feelings change and sometimes they change faster for different people. He was not miserable when he was with you – in each moment he said he loved you that was the truth FOR THAT MOMENT. It is when we try to take a feeling in each moment and project it onto how we think we will feel in the future or how we felt in the past is when all this gets confusing. Do know the love you both felt for each when in the relationship was indeed REAL. And how he is feeling now – has nothing to do with how he felt 2 months ago!
      
      Use this moving forward. Take a look at the dynamic of your relationship and really see if he was a perfect fit in all areas of your life or were there some areas or some things that were off a bit. Use this as an opportunity to go in and love YOURSELF even more. Commit the energy you put towards this relationship to YOURSELF – the more you love yourself and work on yourself the more that will show up in your next relationship. Each one keeps getting better – especially if you keep evolving yourself! You attract into your life who you are and where you are at!
      
      Cherish the love you had for each other – but also embrace that he no longer feels that!
      
      I hope this helps
      If you want any more advice email me at michael@youthwellnessnetwork.ca
      Michael
      - Sam
        
        Wow, thank you Michael. I really respect and admire what you’ve gone through and what you got out of it. I think I am somewhat in a state of shock I didnt see the break up coming abd when it did there was such a change in my ex. One day he was saying I love you and the next he wanted nothing to do with me and was telking the world on his blog how he was ready to meet the love of his life. That hurt the most the knowledgr that to him I was easily replacable after just a month. I feel like I have been completely erased and wonder if someone can get over someine so quickly how authentic were they. These thoughtd keep me from being able to move on. The rugs was pulled from under me without warning and that hes let go mobed on and can show no feelings like I dont matter so soon hurts. Hoew does one accept something like this? Frim going to talking about weddings to reading on his blog two months later hes ready to meet his perfect lady.
        
        How does one truly accept and let go? And still have faith your perfect partner is out there when youve felt like youve lost them?
      - http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
        
        Sam, the challenge I see is that with the thoughts you are thinking and some underlying beliefs as well – they are keeping you from moving on. They are keeping you from feeling empowered and from what I am reading it seems they are making you feel like a victim. From my experience the longer we stay in this place the deeper a whole we dig for ourselves about the story that we are creating in our minds that in all reality is just a story as you are going on your perception of what you are seeing your ex do, it is harder to move on and let something better into your life. The mindset shift that needs to happen is to move from a place of what you feel you are missing and what you lost out on to one of what you have gained from this experience. The first step in accepting and letting go is in fact recognizing that you need to shift your mind set and the story that you are telling yourself. The reality you face is that you are no longer in this relationship – that is a fact. Everything else is a story you are choosing to believe. That you lost your life partner, that he didn’t love you as much as you loved him, that he wasn’t being authentic when you were together, etc. etc. You are creating this story based on what you are observing and feeling. The challenge is our minds are so powerful that you can run this story through your head over and over and before you know it you can’t see anything outside of it. And this will keep you in the state of being a victim, and focusing on your loss. If you are interested I run a mentorship program that can help you work on re-programming your mind and attitude towards this whole scenario and get you back in a place of empowerment.
        Email me at michael@youthwellnessnetwork.ca and we can chat more there as it is easier for me to give you actual resources that will help!
Marc3313

Dear Michael,
Thank you so much for your story.
Two weeks ago I went through an almost exact situation as you have shared.
This weekend would have been a year together. Both of us had been married together
and so we were both very cautious with how quickly we meshed and fell in love (and with kids involved, discussed at length waiting to bring them in to the picture). Over the last year, we fell head over heels in love with one another, fell in love with each others’ kids and actually started talking about future things. A little over two weeks ago, she ended the relationship. This despite her saying that I was the first person in her life unconditionally, said she had been waiting her whole life for me, said I was the best friend she had ever had, etc….Basically, she said she was not ready for the kind of relationship and did not have “anything left to give”.
I am left with so much confusion, especially with how hard I fell for both and her four year and two year kids (the four year old girl started calling me “dad”). Even though I am having a very difficult time, your story and insipirational thoughts inspire me to look at the relationship differently and lean on my Lord even more. Thanks again–Marc
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Hi Marc – thank you so much for sharing! I really appreciate hearing your story and situation! I can totally empathize with where you are at and what you are feeling my friend – so interesting how parallel in some ways our stories are. Here is something else I want to share with you and what I have realized. In addition to practicing the art of courageous love we also need to be weary of the concept of “the one”. I think we spend a lot of our time searching for our one true love and when we think we find him/her we try to hold onto it for dear life. My new reality and belief is that YOU are “the one” you have been looking for my friend. YOU are the one you have to spend the rest of your life with. Everything and everyone else is like icing on the cake!
  
  So this experience was SO close to what you thought you were looking for. Beautiful!! Now try to take a step back and see the lessons that are there for you to learn- see how there may be ways you can love yourself even more, value yourself even more so that you truly believe you deserve someone who will show up fully for you as you show up fully for them. All that being said – nothing is forever and even the concept of a “life partner” to me doesn’t mean we spend our lives together it means we share our lives with each other in each moment that we both desire to do so. And if/when one or both decide they aren’t as present or aren’t as committed, we pick up the pieces of our hearts, put them back together, heal, strengthen and move forward! Never sacrificing who we truly are, never stop believing in what we know we deserve and always holding faith that everything that shows up in our lives no matter how long it may last for is ALWAYS for our highest and best good! Keep the faith always my friend and sending big love your way for a powerful healing.
  
  Onward, upward and infinitely inward,
  Michael
Erika

Thank you for sharing this, Michael! A beautiful and articulate post. I loved it and of course it was perfect timing for me to read it.

It’s beyond courageous to put yourself out there in any relationship – close or not. Friendship or more than friendship. I applaud you! To go against the “norm” which is to not speak how you really feel. To actually face your fear of loving someone more than they (seemingly) love you. To be honest! All these things take courage but they are also the most natural things in the world. It’s the suppressing of love and joy and happiness that is unnatural yet so many of us think we need to in order to fit in with the status quo. Silliness!

As long as you are your true and authentic self (up and down human emotions and all) then you can’t go wrong. And whatever happens with this person will be for your good. Surrendering can be a pain in the ass but ultimately the best feeling ever.
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Thanks Erika! You got it – being vulnerable and expressing ourselves openly and freely is what true courage is all about! I will continue to do so for as long as I am living in this body. And totally agree – surrender can be a true kick in the ass but when you get past the initial pain the clarity that is created from it is truly one of the greatest gifts we can receive! Big love to you
Marc3313

I have to tell you Erika, your words, especially: “As long as you are your true and authentic self (up and down human emotions and all) then you can’t go wrong. And whatever happens with this person will be for your good. Surrendering can be a pain in the ass but ultimately the best feeling ever” meant so much for me to read. Thanks to you and Michael both! I stumbled upon this site just yesterday and it has been such an inspiration to me. I have no regrets in how I loved and showed my love in the last year and reading things like “being your authentic self”, a person can’t go wrong, is really helping me with my up/down emotions. You just made my day with that post!
Caroldekkers

This was what I needed to read today – to know that it is not only me in the world cautious about taking risks and loving again (and being optimistic!) After a 23 year marriage to a narcissist (I realize that I loved him and he loved himself) and a father cut from the same cloth, I wonder sometimes if I will ever truly be loved for me, myself, and I. Courageous love is the best way to look at being open to the potential for love. Thanks for writing…
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Thanks Carol you are certainly not alone in your feelings and experiences! Keep loving courageously but also try to dig a little deeper into the lessons that come from these relationships. I find relationships can be the most powerful teachers because they really mirror to us what we sometimes don’t or aren’t willing to see. Go deep within, ask yourself if there are parts of yourself you can love even more, value even more, cherish even more. You clearly have a lot of love to give – but it is possible that if you aren’t feeling that love being reciprocated fully – it may not need to come from a man in your life – but more so from yourself! There is always a potential for a deep love to be received from someone else, but in order for that to happen and sustain itself, we not only need to courageously love others – but courageously love ourselves! Big love to you
Nazeemnour

Great ! i think that the exercise of presence was a good think .It was the first time that you did (from what i understand) .Somehow a force tried to pull you down and wanted you to go back to your old self. I say renew the practice (of presence) until you beat this force then you will find the one who has the same vision as you do !
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Great way of putting it Nazeem! It is our awareness that creates choice and our choice creates change. I put this to action in this relationship and continue to do so to the best of my ability – and yes you got it keep working on ourselves and someone will continue to show up for me in that same capacity!
Guest

This was such an inspiring post! I actually had a breakthrough moment today – simliar to the experience many people here speak of. My boyfriend (recently ex) and I fell head over heels for each other in a magical romance — it was literally like we were under a love spell. We poured our hearts with everything we were feeling for each other in each exact moment — we instantly saw a future together and were both so confident that we had found our soul mates. There was no doubt the feelings and certainty were there for both of us and it was the most incredible form of love and relationship we’ve ever experienced. However, issues came about when we were so engulfed in pursuing a future together and meeting the expectations we set for our relationship, that we thought our love could overpower and circumstantial difficulties (ie. distance, careers, different stages in our lives). As much as we wanted this to happen and had already declared our future dreams together, the reality was that at this particular moment in our lives, the universe was not bringing us together. We both came to the realization that the feelings are still very much there, but in the PRESENT moment, our lives are in different places and we both need to be true to our authentic selves and take the journeys we are individually meant to take (not hopping on someone else’s journey for the sake of love). Maybe our paths will cross again in the future if we’re meant to be, but for now, we are letting go. Not because the feelings aren’t there or not because we don’t love each other tremendously, but to simply let each other follow the course the universe and our authentic selves are guiding us in. Fighting against our circumstances will not magically reconfigure our individual destinies. Actually letting go was miserable, but I now see it as a blessing and a major life lesson. At first I couldn’t get over the initial shock at how “wrong” my certainty and confidence in our love was. But that’s not true — in my breakthrough, I’ve realized that courageous love is having the power follow your OWN present journey, and let love go (or grow!) if it is not serving your highest power in that exact moment.
- http://www.youthwellnessnetwork.ca/ Michael Eisen
  
  Wow thank you for sharing! Your process that you just explained with your boyfriend is incredibly profound! You both clearly are quite self aware and conscious to be able to work through to that conclusion together sets a beautiful precedent for many others! I have had a similar experience before this one similar to that where I unconsciously sacrificed a part of who I was and my mission to be there for hers all for the power of love. I actually saw myself heading in a similar path at times in this most recent relationship but my awareness did not allow me to continue down that path. I love how you put it “not hopping on someone elses journey for the sake of love”. SO very true and something that requires both parties to be very aware of themselves while in the relationship. Just another point to add to this. Finding a relationship that is truly compatible and complimentary often times requires so many factors to align outside of the deep and passionate love. I believe it is imperative that we examine ALL the nooks and crannies of every relationship we get ourselves in to see if the human aspects are as aligned as the spiritual, the mental are as aligned as the emotional. Yes we all want that soul love and soul connection – but it is also equally important that our humanness is compatible with one another as well. I think your approach to this relationship was amazing and I wanted to thank you for sharing as it is inspiring to hear and I am sure will inspire all others that read it! Keep loving, trusting and sharing so openly my friend! And a reminder to many others too – sometimes we can still love somebody deeply and not be with them in the way we thought we could be. Don’t ever stop loving…yourself, your lover, your friends, your family, the divine, everyone…that is what courageous love is all about!
Kml1957

For me, what you wrote is true even with close friends or even co-workers. My reaction to people who don’t return my love or caring, or don’t even notice, is to recoil in rejection and pain. I am thinking it is more about who I want to be……does my heart have the courage to keep going in love.
EllieHuggins

“Or is there a creative spirit waiting for permission to dance?” These strike me as powerful words and exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you for your courage in sharing yourself with the world.
Jdhill

Congratulations on a beautiful and inspiring article. I purchased a new desk yesterday, with the intent of starting my own business and writing my first book. I am waiting for the delivery as I write. Your article is a positive confirmation that now is the time! Thanks for sharing your fears which helped me overcome mine!
Summer2218

Awesome!
I so admire you reaching out to help others with your own true feelings. I too, am at a transistional stage in my life, and SCARED to death! I realize I need to make a move and it frightens me. I will stay tuned to your every move in hopes it will facilitate my moving forward. Best of luck!!!
Meredith

Thank you for writing this. Very inspiring. I am taking heed to your words and live my truths.

HIghest Vibrations
Traceylynn

Bravo Michelle! I commend you and thank you for your inspiring words. I believe I finally figured out what my calling is, but I’m scared to make the leap. Fear of failing. But I will remember this post to help me push through that fear. Keep writing I LOVED what you have said and will follow you!

With love!
Ninja

THX
A Henderson

So happy for you!! Glad to know I am not the only one battling with these types of pointless pressures and fears. Your story is my story, our story is HIStory!!

Love <3
Chad

Truly an amazing job. Inspiring and beautiful! This is my first visit to this site and I found your blog immediately. And the subject matter is exactly what I needed to read. An amazing example of life presenting something to you when you are paying attention to what stands in your way. Thank you and looking forward to more.
Msgoosby

Today while watching Oprah “Super Soul Sunday” and one of her guest was Mastin who mentioned his website, I immediately logged on. I read Michelle’s story and was compelled to expose my fears of just living or what I called ” being afraid to participate in my own life”. At the age of 54 years I have finally taken the first steps in setting and commiting to some goals and lost dreams, with learning self acceptance and self love, with that being said this is the start of finally living the life I truly deserve to live.
Tiffany

I am afraid of being alone…The silence is at time painful…At the same time, it is the only way I will be able to think…if I have silence…That is where truth is found….It is always found in silence, when chatter stops rambling-you can hear your heart…
Miriam Jones

woohoo!!!
go you!

thank you for sharing and also articulating that expert way we send christmas cards, attend to overdue matters and become healthy at the gym, as detours away from the resistance of self.

i like your whispering voice Michelle, let’s hear some more of what you have to say and maybe even sing.
http://www.facebook.com/fireflyslocket Valerie Marie Rutherford

I’ve had the fear of completing my first novel for a few
years now. I’ve been working on it for such a long time, and it’s been there
for me through everything. Letting it go is going to be really hard. I managed
to make myself feel better about the process for the last year, but now, with
only 3 chapters left, the fear has crept back in. In the meantime, I have still
been writing other stories, but I know that I’m just going to have to take the
plunge into the end eventually.
Lynne Gillis

You have no idea how much it meant to me to read this today. Exactly what I needed. Thank you.
Blank

Sorry to hear about this buddy. From what you wrote it seems as though this is the first time you have completely opened up to love. When it fails it hurts. Now imagine that she has opened up to love on more than one occasion and has been hurt as bad if not worse than what your fighting with inside yourself now. Thus, when she breaks off a relationship its simply a defense mechanism; you cant get hurt if your never fully involved. Its a tried, tested, and true method. Just wish I could have warned you.
Karen

Keep speaking, you sound amazing!