How often has someone (who means well) advised you to…”LET GO?” Yeah, yeah…whatever! May be your first thoughts, and F…you, comes
shortly thereafter. Your grip is so tight, you wouldn’t know how to loosen one pinky, much less both hands.
I get it.
And although the two words are oh-so-very-trite, they are the ONLY way to access your divine wisdom. Your answer.
Please indulge me, as I let you in on one of my memorable and extraordinary experiences of LETTING GO…
In 1994, I was diagnosed with eye cancer (melanoma) in the choroid of my left eye, leaving me with peripheral vision (only). I was naive, fresh out of college, and 24-years-old. Throughout the following 17 years, I had two recurrences and treated the tumors with laser and radiation. But (to even the doctor’s disbelief), I was diagnosed with it AGAIN at the age of 41. This time, in a completely different location of my eye (2 in 10,000 cases). The opthamologist had NO advice at all. He hesitantly said, “Well, let us know if you are willing to REMOVE your eye, OR we can RADIATE it AGAIN and ‘try’ to save it.” Click (It was left on my voicemail).
My initial reaction was to radiate…until I spoke with my loved ones, who feared for my life. I bought into “their” common sense, specious argument, and blocked myself from the answer.
Until…I LET GO.
One early and foggy morning, I decided to take a long walk along the shore of a well known tourist destination and my hometown of Pismo Beach. I was determined to breathe, relax, and listen (prerequisites for “letting go”). About half way, I sat on top of a semi-flat boulder; taking in
the timeless waves of creation, unfettered by lack of time or other people’s opinion.
And yet, I managed to calm my palpable mind chatter.
As I walked back to my car, despite no resolution, I was reminded…
Are you Here Kathleen? It’s Me, The Uni-verse.
I want you to close your eyes and scroll your iPod. You will know when to stop. Play the song blindly, and remember to not only LISTEN, but
HEAR the message.
For the record, I don’t have many “Thank You” songs on my playlist, but I knew Fleetwood Mac, James Taylor, and my other favorites were from the “Spirit of Love,” too-so what the heck. I proceeded to open my vision and close my eyes, as I scrolled down the plethora of artists on my iPod screen.
Within 30 seconds, my instinct instructed me to: pause, open my baby greens, and take a sneak peak at my destiny…
The song was…”Daniel” by Elton John.
I doubted the title immediately: hmmmm…is this really Love’s answer, or do I need to do this again? I can give “The Creator” a little lag time,
right? Fortunately, I chose to doubt my doubt, trust, and listen to every word. Over and over again, I played the song. Until I was willing to
not only listen, but HEAR the message.
Daniel my brother,
You are older than me,
Do you still feel the pain,
Of the scars that won’t heal?
YOUR EYES HAVE DIED,
but YOU SEE MORE THAN I,
Daniel you’re a star in the face of the sky.
I tasted my tears with gratitude and relief; peace ran through my veins, and I remembered that I was whole.
So the question begs: did I have my answer? No. Answers often do not come in the way we think they ought to, and the “man of many glasses” sings it loud and clear. It wasn’t about whether I chose to radiate or remove my eye. Why? Because by changing parts of my robotic-like- programming, I was seeing through different lenses. I was still undecided but created peace regardless.
In the “eye” of the storm, I LET GO!
“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” -Hellen Keller.
One week later, I received my answer.
How many times can a man turn his head
And pretend that he doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind,
The answer, is blowin’ in the wind.
-Peter Paul and Mary (written by Bob Dylan)
And thus, I chose to radiate my tumor.
This was just 2 years ago, and I am still surrendering and obedient to Love with my main guru–my eye.
Are you struggling for an answer? Let go and remember:
“What you have been looking for all your life has been with you all along.”
(This is a quote I received in the middle of the night; only to suddenly awake and write it down during this challenging, yet wondrous time of my
With all my heart,