Do you ever have those days when the sun is shining, your schedule is free and you simply are unable to enjoy yourself? I had one of those days this week. In fact, I had a couple of them. It felt like there was a gray cloud cast inside of my Heart. My heart was hurting. I was really sad. I could feel my shoulders pulling forward and my stomach feel empty inside. The feeling of heaviness simply didn’t go away. When I finally made it a priority to check in and see what was going on inside for me, I took my journal and sat in the backyard. The cool summer breeze gently kissed my shoulders as the sun began to melt the energy my body was holding onto. I started scribbling in my journal. No words were coming out. I felt so numb that I didn’t even want to open up and share with myself. After allowing myself to doodle for a couple of minutes words began to flow, “I don’t want to hurt anymore.”
My eyes filled with tears and I started crying uncontrollably. I set my journal down, put my left hand on my stomach and my right hand on my heart, taking a big deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth — and could feel the emotional pain start to come to the surface. I just allowed myself to sit with my eyes closed, focusing on my breath, and allowing the waves of emotion to come up and be released. As I looked around the yard, I picked up my journal again and began to write.
“To let go of the pain, I need to stop focusing on the things that I feel cause me pain. The people that choose to do hurtful, unacceptable things to me in my life, I need to focus less on. I need to speak less of them. I need to focus less on them. My thoughts and words create the energy that I carry. It’s as if I am addicted to focusing on that which makes me feel bad inside. It’s a very bad habit that I need to work on breaking. There may be various levels of stress and tension in my life right now that makes great conversion, but I choose to not share the stories of what is causing me pain any longer. I have done this more than enough.” I spaced out and found myself lost staring at the grapevines in the yard. I continued to write.
“Life. Life has pleasure and pain at all times. Why not choose to focus on the pleasure? Why make it harder than it needs to be? That which creates pain holds the greatest lessons for my Heart. This I know in my gut. When I feel pain, I must remember to ask what the opportunity and lesson is that it is offering me. I am not a victim — things don’t just hurt me. Everything in my life tremendously supports me. That which causes me pain creates liberation if I allow it to support me. Although I may not be in control of my thoughts, I must remember that I am in control of what thoughts I choose to focus on. I choose to be greater than the situations going on in my life — even though they feel enormous at times. I AM GREATER than even the most enormous situation in my life. I really am! I must remember this and remember that everything passes in time. I honor all situations in my life and will choose to focus on that which supports what I am wanting to create and feel more of in my life. I choose to no longer give my power away to another person or even life itself. I choose to commit to focusing on what makes me feel better inside. Everything is perfectly unfolding as it should be. If I don’t want to hurt anymore, I must let go of holding onto hurt and be grateful that I am moving forward in my life. I make incredible choices to support myself and create the quality of life that I know exists in my very soul. I embrace and focus on all of the good times and memories that I have had. The ones that weren’t so positive I put away in a “to be learned from” file in my Heart. One thing that I know for certain is I don’t need to hurt anymore. I give myself permission to let go of all pain so I may have room to focus on the great and amazing life that I have sitting before me. When I feel pain, I honor and give it a voice, then lovingly say goodbye to it, and give myself permission to let go and focus on the pleasure.”
I continued to sit in the chair looking out at the beauty of the colorful blossoms covering the backyard. I took a big deep breath in through the nose and exhaled out through the mouth, put a big smile on my face, reminded myself that these situations in my life won’t last forever — and declared out-loud, “I no longer focus on the things that cause me pain. I choose to breathe as I feel pain and know that in the next breath or two pleasure awaits.” I stood up with my shoulders back , my head high and enjoyed the rest of the day.
Right after I got done writing this journal entry, I went on Facebook and saw this post I wanted to share. Talk about synchronicity! “Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” ~ Rita Schiano
May we remember in the deepest place of our being, and remind each other constantly, the preciousness of life and that our lives are forever blessed.
In the greatest love,
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