Live Inside Out Not Outside In! - Daily Love with Mastin Kipp

Live Inside Out Not Outside In!

****************************************************

beware…the content of this blog may apply to grown ups ūüėČ

****************************************************

Dana-1One thing I have said to my own kids and my students, too, is that:

everything happens for a reason.

We may not always know the¬†lessons¬†in the stuff that happens to us, and that’s because we sometimes get so caught up and attached to what WE¬†WANT¬†TO HAPPEN!

In other words, WE WANT CONTROL, RIGHT????

FLASHBACK to my chubby, freckly, middle-school self: 

I can remember trying to¬†get¬†other kids to like me or be nice to me.¬†That sounds so weird to me as I write it down as a grown up (although I must admit I still catch myself doing it!!!! YIKES! Please don’t tell anyone!)

STORY:

In 6th grade, I remember¬†“liking”¬†a boy named Kenny (last name to remain anonymous…¬†shout out to Kenny if you’re reading my blog!), and I wanted him to “go” with me (whatever that means in middle school…). I gave him, like, over 20 packs of gum, wrote notes to him, took ridiculous detours through my school so I would see him between classes, and lots of other¬†cRaZy¬†stuff.

…what we do for love… ūüėČ

GUESS WHAT?…Kenny never¬†“liked”¬†me back¬†ūüôĀ ¬†sad face ¬†and, of course, in my mind¬†I made up¬†that it was because I was chubby and freckly (he never told me that, though–he barely talked to me at all!)

DANG[email protected]@#^%&% …that was a lot of gum…

ANOTHER STORY:

I know you can all relate—like, for example, thinking:

If I keep kissing butt to the kids who¬†(I think)¬†don’t like me . . .

  • maybe they’ll¬†stop treating me like¬†crap
  • maybe they’ll quit¬†taking my stuff¬†or¬†copying off my homework
  • or even stop¬†hating¬†me on Facebook
  • or at the very least maybe they will¬†LEAVE ME THE HE(L)K ALONE!¬†(I can remember actually praying about this one as a kid…)

When I was¬†really¬†in a fantasy land, the stuff I made up in my head was even more wishful–like, for example, thinking:

  • maybe they’ll invite me to their¬†lunch table¬†(that’s a huge one!!!!)
  • maybe I’ll get to go to one of their¬†sleepovers
  • maybe we could go to¬†summer camp¬†together!

You get the picture, right?

Trying to manage what other people think or feel about us is living from the¬†OUT:SIDE IN.¬†Living from the¬†OUT:SIDE IN¬†is, quite frankly, a butt load of work. But here’s the good news:

You can relax…¬†(and actually, take a deep breath now! I am¬†controlling¬†you! LOL!)

Living from the¬†IN:SIDE OUT,¬†not the¬†OUT:SIDE IN, is much easier!¬†And,¬†(top secret information)¬†even some of the grown ups don’t know this…but you can share it with them, if you think they are ready…

What I know now, is that I can’t¬†get¬†other people to like me, be nice to me, or anything else! My job is to¬†be¬†myself¬†(who, BTW, is very likable!), like and love¬†myself, ¬†and¬†surround¬†myself¬†with others who like¬†me¬†for¬†me. I don’t actually have to¬†DO¬†anything–just be¬†myself. Whew!

I wish I would have known this stuff earlier…(which is one awesome reason I started my blog, really).

Actually, knowing now that this stuff is just plain out of my control is such a relief!

And guess what? I get to breathe, enjoy myself, and just be the best person/mom/teacher/friend I can be… and I think I actually do a better job of¬†all¬†those things when I am not freaking out trying to control things from the¬†OUT:SIDE IN¬†all the time!!!!!

Let me know what your thoughts and feelings are!

Love and Light,

Dana

###

Dana Lynne Curry, Ph.D., has been teaching middle school English (with no low bun) for over 23 years. She is a gReaT-fuL Writer, Storyteller, Teacher, Student, Irreverent GoofBall, Blogger, Servant, Philosopher, Spiritual Collagist (is that a word?), Mama, LoVer of LiFe!, Amazing Friend, and one cOOL pUsSy caT!! Find Dana at funfreeME  on Facebook and on Twitter @funfreeMe1.