#LiveNow: How Cancer Has Leaped Into My Life…

JoeyParker 051112“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
― Joseph Campbell

Ever since the day after Valentine’s Day, when my mom was diagnosed with cancer, this quote has been on my mind. As hard as these last few weeks have been, I am finally able to find some clarity in the struggles that so many of us experience on our journeys.

Cancer is a nightmare that often silently begins to takeover, and for my family this quickly turned into our reality. Growing up I had always dreamed of what I ‘thought’ my future would look like, and this was by far the antithesis of my imagination. In these dark moments it’s so important to look within and begin to accept our ‘new normal’. The unexpected has arrived, and this is the path I will now be heading down.

The unknown is so, so scary but we must remind ourselves that this moment right here and now is precious, and we must be thankful. It must be the worst possible situation you could have imagined, but remaining positive is SO crucial. When we begin to worry continuously about what tomorrow will bring, we rob today of all the beauty. Living in the moment is something I have tried to practice growing up, but now more than ever is this lesson urgent.

Just as the seasons change, our bodies change, and the cycle of life continues. No words can begin to describe the pain you feel seeing a loved one affected by cancer, but together it’s a journey we must go through. Day by day we take each step in the direction towards a future we pray to be positive.

Not only do so many of us GO through this, we will together GROW through this. It’s a tragic event, but will forever seal the tightest bond within my family. My mom is the strongest lady I know, and if anyone can beat this it is her.

Be grateful for the NOW!

I know how hard it can be, we can so easily get stuck in a negative mindset, but the power lies in remaining positive. When we are thankful for this very moment, we begin to weave the magic of the Uni-verse, attracting a sense of understanding, calmness, and the happiness we are desperately in need of.

Comment below and let me know how cancer has affected your life. What helped you through this challenging time?

Sending you all so much love,



Joey Parker is editor-in-chief of The Joey Parker Movement and contributing writer for MTV Act. He is passionate about ending human trafficking & creating a brighter future.  Find Joey at  http://www.thejoeyparkermovement.com, Facebook, and @TheJoeyParker.

  • Joey,

    I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I can only imagine how difficult and heart-wrenching it is. It sounds like your mom is an incredible person and I can tell you’re really grateful for the time you get to spend with her.
    My mom had cancer too, though it was when I was really small and I don’t remember much, just visiting her in the hospital sometimes. She had thyroid cancer, and after having her thyroid removed, and going through radiation, she’s still around and doing well today (over 30 years later).

    Cancer seems to be so prevalent in our society and our culture these days. So much money is directed towards cancer research and finding cures. Which is great… I just tell everyone I can to read the book, “The China Study” or read anything by Kris Carr, or “Dave, the Raw Food Trucker.” These scientific findings (from The China Study), and the personal stories from Kris and Dave, show us that cancer is largely preventable and curable already.

    Now, I by no means want to make light of your situation, your mom’s situation, or anyone dealing with cancer. I don’t know you personally, or anyone else who might read this. I just know my own thoughts and feelings about cancer have forever been changed through what I’ve learned the past few years.

    To give a brief sum-up, Dave (the “raw food trucker”) HAD colon cancer… and through changing his diet, six months later, with NO radiation or chemo, he no longer has cancer. True story. And Kris Carr also HAD/HAS cancer in several organs I believe. It was stage 4 and the doctors pretty much told her they could fight it, but didn’t give her much hope. It’s nearly 10 years later, I believe (maybe 7 or 8) and she’s living well, feeling strong and healthy…. ALL due to changing her diet. A really powerful story.

    Like I said, stories like that have changed how I live my life and what I believe about cancer, that’s why I always try to pass it along whenever I can.
    I wish you and your mother ALL the best!! My thoughts and love are with you both.


  • rhonda

    hi joey ~ i have 2 very dear friends who have battled cancer. neil died in july of lung cancer, less than a year of being diagnosed. neil battled more than the cancer & it was easier for him to go than to stay… brenda is a breast cancer survivor who is now battling ovarian cancer… she is gonna beat it, thru her positive attitude & overflowing love & the strength you see in your mom… and she is using the book “conquering any disease” by jeff primack as her nutritional back-up. it is a phenominal book & if you haven’t heard of it, please check it out. it is worth every penny…

  • Truth is

    Stay strong, be of courage and enjoy every moment you have NOW with your mom. Cancer reminds me that our soul is eternal not so much can be said of our body!

  • David McInnes

    Dear Joey,

    My love goes out to you and your family and always remember to be strong, compassionate, honest, have faith and be there for your mother as it may become tough on in every sense as some people as in my father’s case,people can become upset & very angry when they feel their mortality. Always remember family is everything.

    You may become as I have for my entire family-The rock, the glue that it holds it all together & I say this as I hope you don’t have to hold the torch single handedly as no person should or have to as it takes it toll on the strongest of souls. I even though I have two siblings yet that duty fell to me as I now understand some people aren’t capable & that is a lesson for them alone. The emotional and physical toll it has taken on me is like nothing I have ever experienced. I would do it all over again as I was able to spend so much time with my father & was closer to him than I ever was before. Please share this with other’s as no one should have endured what I did and I hope this doesn’t happen to you.

    Two years doesn’t sound like a lot yet what a roller coaster of a ride it was to the very end. I even sold my house, spent all the majority of what I had to save him which only prolonged his life. I am grateful and happy I did this & would do it all again as it is only money($158,000 and he had full medical health cover which didn’t include what I spent). What was originally bowel cancer which he originally beat, came back several times & then as what happen’s the body build’s a resistance to all forms of medical treatment(in the majority of cases) with a vengeance & attacked his lymph nodes which is unfortunately a death sentence, he was such a strong man he survived another two years as the cancer spread throughout his body via his bloodstream which sprouted cancer’s everywhere. His brain,lungs,legs,heart-everywhere. Be strong for your mother and always stay positive for your and her sake. You must always live your own life still as I didn’t do this and my own life was torn to shreds with I have only myself to blame and to which I forgive myself and accept completely. That was a lesson in itself.

    Also and you MUST do this & sooner the better. Have you mother to organise her will, power of attorney as they may lose their faculties & someone has to be responsible if this occurs, get bank accounts set aside as if they die their accounts get frozen as in my father’s case and my mum can’t access the money to pay for his funeral or pay her mortgages bills, food or anything and in Australia this can take up to three months! before it may be released which I’m sure it will. I have today spent nearly all I have left to shore up my mother’s mortgage, paid all her bills for three months in advance, opened an account for her and even paid for the funeral($35,000). I now have for the first time in my life be living off my fortnightly wage’s at the age of 36. I have many other family member’s(there are 15 people here ATM) to some who are very wealthy & are in this very house as I’m writing this now & being who I am I will not ask for help & never have done so in my life as I believe they should have offered. That is my fault & most likely my pride as a man and I won’t ask as I have always stood tall & on my own two feet.

    What you are experiencing is going to be the hardest journey you have and will ever travel on in the journey of life. BY what I’ve written share the burden & please don’t carry out the mistakes I’ve made as it will affect you greatly otherwise. This coming Friday I am saying my final farewell to my father and will carry him one last time as his son and pallbearer. I have had to postpone his funeral as sadly we’ve had to wait for my mother to recover from her recent heart attack which the doctor’s believe to be a from a broken heart of her losing her soulmate Funnily enough this is the first time I’ve encountered the saying “things happen in 3’s”.

    My ex partner left me one week after my father died. I have said many hurtful & truthful things on this site about us which was a private issue for her & I alone, so I have decided that this is my my final post on TDL and will be deactivating my account this tomorrow night so I may read the replies for one last time(for sentimental sake as I’ve become very fond of this site), as I’m disconnecting myself from the internet entirely in all forms which include Falsebook, blogs, email address, etc. as we are what I know agree with which was written and discussed in a recent blog on TDL. We as a species are becoming desensitized and disconnected from the real world and it’s right in front of us if we truly open our eyes. I go out a lot so don’t think I’m a hermit as I’m the opposite in fact. I have bought my around the world plane ticket with an open ended time limit (it does have a used by date) last week and I nearly even jumped on a plane to “escape/run away” on Friday gone. I had my bags packed and all yet I couldn’t do that to my mother until I know she is better. Hopefully soon.

    I wish to say & I hope you don’t mind to her my ex-partner aka “Babylious I’m sorry for discussing this on this site and can say I wish I was able to speak to you as I do now to people” and because of what I learnt tonight and not(these did help immensely) from the psychologists, yoga lesson’s(Ashtanga and Tantra), the multitude of self help books, hypnotherapists, life & spiritual coaches, dance classes, gym workouts, volunteering, supporting charities in many forms……so many other things, for me it is after only one lesson & I know you may all think I’m crazy and maybe I am? MEDITATION. I say one power word learnt from tonight which has so much meaning to me:

    “MINDFULNESS”, A quote I read says it all – “Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally”.

    I have never done meditation before and when I meditated for my first time tonight I have never ever felt what I felt before by sitting in a pose! As I was settled in my sitting position, listening to the surrounding sounds and practised my breathing as shown by my teacher my awareness if I may call it that, I “became one” and I felt the rising/falling movement or sensations of my breath and we were instructed to “listen to one to which I could listen to all three not just one! For some unknown reason-my belly, chest and especially my nostril’s even to the point I could “feel my nose hairs moving. I’m not sure if this is making any sense? For the first time ever my brain was in “neutral gear” and I didn’t think of anything but my breathing? When my teacher/guide(I don’t even know the proper name for what these are? Embarrassing) she struck two “chimes or brass discs” together and I felt what may sound like a fairy tale and I find had to describe. I swear on my dearly departed fathers’ soul this was true. My entire body was in a sense “electrified” and I can’t describe it in any other way as I have been electrocuted before as I hold an electrical licence/I’m a tradesman and it felt very similar bar no convulsions as this happens when you are electrocuted as the “A/C power” is very hard to let go of as your muscles spasm’s-it’s immensely excruciating to say the least . My ear’s vibrated and it really did hurt for a split second. It then started from my head, from there the energy spread like a explosion throughout my body like a wave crashing into the shoreline, my hairs on my entire body raised up as it raced across to exit my arms through my fingers and legs through my toes. My teacher said she saw it occur! All my hairs on my body felt as if they rose and fell as the wave rolled past, I couldn’t see it as my eyes were closed and yet I know i felt it. I sat in the centre right in front of her and asked her about it after class. She genuinely smiled at me and said “I’m going to enjoy meditation. It is different for all of us and your journey is just beginning”. She then asked me what I believed it to be & I said I will meditate on it & talk to you tomorrow as she is also my life life/spiritual coach. Since I’ve been home I have no stress at all, I’ve accepted and let go of the past entirely and I can’t stop smiling! Have I truly awakened and is this possible from my first class. It’s as if my body is pulsing just underneath my skin. No other’s in the class felt this as we all spoke how and what we felt….

    I send limitless rays of supportive and compassionate love to you & your mother & I hope you both don’t have to walk down the treacherous road my father/mother & I have travelled as no one should have to walk down it or walk it alone.


  • Holly Gyles

    Hi Joey! My mom went through breast cancer treatment 8 years ago. I agree that it is heartwrenching to see your mom go through such a hard time and not be able to “fix it.” I realized much later that sometimes just being there is the best thing you can do. Love your mom and miss seeing her across the hall every day. She has always been a welcoming friend, saving me a seat in meetings and making me feel less alone as I began my new career. Hugs to you, too!

  • Sheri

    Hi Joey,
    Just last year, I came across this book recommended by Wayne Dyer “Dying to be Me” by Anita Moorjani (http://www.hayhouse.com/details.php?id=6029). It’s the true life story of Anita’s battle and victory over cancer. I read it because I needed answers to deal with the passing of two close family members who died within a month of each other. It was a devastating time. Reading the book shows how we have the power to heal ourselves. Maybe her words will resonate with you and your mother too. Sending love and positivity your way!

  • PositiveSnergy

    My deepest heartfelt love and compassion go out to you dear soul. I can’t claim to even imagine how you feel but I wish your Mom the best and send her positive energy!

  • SoVoy

    At 35, I was told I had Hodgkin Lymphoma. I know at the time it was a journey not only for me but for those who loved and knew me. I had a talk with God and I told him I am letting go of my fears and allowing myself to go on this journey as long as he comes with me. I had some bumps along the way, and I knew this journey wasn’t going to be easy but, it was. I trust in the knowing that I will be healed and this would be my gift to others. Chemotherapy was a breeze, only because I told myself it would be and that I will not except any other outcome. After my 7th treatment, I had a really BAD reaction to one of the drugs. So I decide to stop my therapy. As the saying goes “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. I knew it was time for the Universe to do what it does best. It has been 4 yrs now and my journey with cancer was really never about me, but trusting that all is well and sharing my story with others. In all I never saw cancer as a battle but a journey to letting go and let GOD. My love and prayers are with you and your family, and know, all is well!