When it comes to choices in life, they are never ending. One of the most liberating, potentially healing and impactful choices you get to make is who you spend your time with. We don’t get to choose the family we are born into. Some family systems are healthy and wonderful. Some are less so. Most are somewhere in the between. Yet in the voluntary arenas like work, organizations and clubs, and your social environment, you can choose your crew. People who have found and grown healthy, supportive relationships in these areas are fortunate. However, if you have not yet found your people, don’t lose hope.
Feeling lonely and misunderstood can be signs that you have not yet found your ‘tribe.’ Positive relationships bring about feelings of connection and validation. If you find yourself craving more positive relationships in your life, perhaps you need a shift.
There are many ways to find your people. In my own experience as a coach and therapist I have found that group coaching is an excellent way to foster deep and supportive connections with like-minded people. One of the many benefits of doing the work I do is that I am fortunate enough to lead groups of wonderful people and help create strong communities. I also get to witness the collective power generated when positive people come together. Not only are goals accomplished more quickly, but there is also excitement and joy throughout the process when the journey is shared.
It is possible to feel good about the relationships in your life, yet still feel lonely and unsupported. This often happens when you neglect to call on your crew. The people in your life are there for a reason. Relationships are not only a source of joy, but they are also a source of support.
When I was diagnosed… I was so worried about inconveniencing others by asking for help. It became almost impossible for me to let anyone, besides my husband Vic, help me. I found myself turning helpful offers away.
When I became sick I learned a great lesson about the value of receiving. After months of declining support, it became clear to me that not allowing others to give was actually selfish. Deepak Chopra would say the fastest way to feel happiness is to make someone else happy. People like to give because it feels good, and when we feel good, we feel happy. So on a very basic level, declining help/support/gifts from others takes away their experience of feeling good.
This week, I want to challenge you to branch out. If you’re in pursuit of your ‘people,’ try and explore new ways to meet and connect with like-minded individuals. If you have a crew, call on them. If you’re in need of support, challenge yourself to ask for it, otherwise reach out and offer support to someone else. Set your intention to make some connections and watch what happens!
I always look forward to hearing from you. Please share in the comments below the success you have had with connecting, giving, receiving, or all three. This week, let’s take care of our relationships, and as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love
As a licensed therapist, transformation coach, and mentor to well-known personalities in wellness, empowerment, and entertainment, Terri Cole is honored to help clients, and now readers like you, remain present and grounded, despite life’s complexities. She provides sustainable, action-oriented solutions you can implement TODAY that allow you to live a life that thrills you. Follow Terri on Facebook and Twitter.