Relationships – they come, they go – some stick with us for a whole lifetime – others are around for just a lesson in time. Same thing goes for partnerships, too. And many times, we miss the message of the relationship or partnership and continue to create the same thing over and over again with new people.
And we end up asking the same ole question, “Why did this happen to me… AGAIN!?”
Well, finding out the answer to that question isn’t as easy as one blog post on The Daily Love. However, I do want to share with you a very interesting insight that might take some of the resentment out of your current relationships and, perhaps, shine a light on previous ones.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – one of the core tenets of TDL is that RELATIONSHIPS ARE CONTAINERS FOR GROWTH. If you grow, learn and otherwise evolve from any relationship you’re in or you’ve had, it’s not a failure!
One of the ways for us to grow while we are in or striving for a relationship/partnership is this:
Whatever you admire, Love or look up to in someone is a part of yourself that you have not yet cultivated that is asking to be called forth. Basically, what you see in someone else is yourself seeing itself and wanting to be cultivated.
That is to say, what we Love about other people are parts of us that we haven’t yet discovered.
It’s a little heady, which is why I said it three different ways!
So – if we do not cultivate the parts of ourselves that we admire in others, we can start to build resentment and anger toward them. This explains why, in the beginning of a relationship, we Love certain qualities about someone, but later on, we end up resenting the same qualities.
They go from being so “artistic” to “crazy and never on time” or they go from having a great “work ethic” to “never having enough time for me.” This isn’t a blanket statement though. It’s something to check in with your intuition about.
What do you, or DID you Love/admire and adore in your partner that now really pisses you off, or gets under your skin? This doesn’t have to be for just a relationship; this could be for a business partnership or a friendship, too.
What did you admire about them in the beginning? Or is there a role model or celebrity out in the world that you Love? What about them is so awesome? What qualities about them make you come alive? Realize that you possess that SAME quality and it is asking to be expressed.
So, if you want to find more balance in your relationship, partnership or friendship, try this out.
Each person makes a list about what they admire about the other person. Make the list, check it over and then share it with each other. Then support each other in becoming what’s on that list.
If you love how creative the other person is, how will you develop your own creativity? If you admire how hard they work, can you step it up in your own life? Doing this will help us grow and help our relationships find balance again. And hopefully we will stop being mad at other people for what we haven’t created yet in ourselves.
As always, the action happens in the comments below, leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!
P.S. Start 2014 off with heart! Join us in for our deep and powerful “Enter the Heart” evenings, full of Kundalini Yoga, Heart Therapy and a new opening to connecting to who you really are. Tickets will sell out, so don’t sit on it.
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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.
Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.