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Oh What Fun It Is To… Be Single This Holiday Season!

ChristineHasslerThe holiday season is full of blessings and wonderful traditions. Holiday parties, Secret Santas, extended time with loved ones and lots of opportunities to eat chocolate. But it can also be a very triggering time of year, especially for those who find themselves alone under the mistletoe.

As chestnuts roast on an open fire and Jack Frost nips at your nose, you may be acutely aware that there is no one to curl up by the fire with and the only thing nipping at you is your judgment about being without a “plus one.” Instead of being caught up in the holiday spirit, being single during this time of year may be leaving you wishing that you could fast forward to January 2nd when all the holiday hoopla is over.

But why should the holidays be any less enjoyable just because you happen to not be in a relationship? My encouragement to you is to not let your romantic status rob you of partaking in the JOY of the season!

It’s natural to feel alone and perhaps a little self-conscious amongst couples canoodling over eggnog, but you can opt out of becoming obsessed or overly focused on it. Maybe it’s the story of Noah’s Ark that we hear as children that begins the conditioning that it is somewhat “better” to be part of a couple. But it is simply not true. Your dating or marital status does not determine your worthiness. If you find yourself becoming a Single Scrooge, you are creating a story in your mind that something is wrong with your singleness. But it’s just a story! It’s not true. There is nothing wrong with you at all! It’s time to write a new script full of gratitude for your Christmas, present and future.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have – bring your awareness to what you do have. Friends, family, a job, your health, freedom to see whomever and do whatever you please, the ability to be of service and so on. If you keep focusing on what you lack, guess what? You get more lack! Enjoy the people that you do have in your life right now and make plans to see them more often. Often friends make better dates anyway! And trust me, a lot of the people who are coupled up are looking at you with envy. The Christmas tree is always greener on the other side of the fence.

If you are getting annoyed by family members incessantly asking about your dating life and giving you reminders that you are not getting any younger, take a deep breath and forgive them. The fact that people keep asking you about your love life is partially because they are picking up on your vibe of wanting to check out of singlehood. Imagine if you showed up this Christmas completely happy, content and confident in your life as a single, independent person! That would silence the interrogation. You can also respectfully (and without sounding defensive or cranky) say that you are quite content being single and you’ll be sure to let them know when there is a change of status in your love life. Most of all, I encourage you to let their questioning roll off your back – what’s the point of letting it bother you so much? Plus, families know the questions that push our buttons; however, what is usually underneath what seems like triggering interrogation is simply love and concern. Try to see past the annoyance.

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of acceptance; accepting who you are and where you are in your journey through life. Fall in love with the way your life is now. Focus on everything and everyone in your life who you do love. You are more likely to get what’s on your Christmas list if you can truly be a good partner to yourself. And who knows… you may meet someone under the mistletoe when you least expect it.

Love,

Christine

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p.s. And if you are intentional about not spending the next holiday season alone, then I’d love for you to join me in Mexico for a retreat to call in the partner of your dreams and fall madly in love with your love life. Details here.

Christine Hassler is an author, speaker, life coach and spiritual counselor dedicated to helping people answer the questions who am I, what do I want and how do I get it?  You can check out her website here.

  • Kahley

    I don’t know about Noah’s Ark – although I’ll work with the metaphor – I do know that we are biologically and emotionally wired to be coupled up. That said, what I have learned is that my “coupling” will never be complete, as in not-really-healthy, unless I am at home, first, with myself. As someone who’s always felt that the measure of my worth was external – I had to have that head-turning, OMG beautiful, woman on my arm – it’s been a gift to have been single for nearly year. Little did I know that when the last gal walked out of my life about this time last year, that the lump of coal (that I felt I was getting from her) was actually a diamond that just wasn’t quite fully formed. She gave me, well, me. What a gift!

    Ho ho ho!

    • Christine Hassler

      What a tremendous gift, love your perspective

    • The Daily Love

      We’re so glad you see it that way Kahley :) Good for you! You especially deserve your own love and acceptance. -Team TDL

  • Marie

    Thank you for your blog Christine. At 55 I have been single my entire life – I always said it was by choice and in many ways it has been. There are definitely times I feel like the fifth wheel, but mainly I am invited to functions/parties/etc because of me as an individual and people do not expect me to bring another. I have many many friends both single and coupled out an do not feel awkward at functions with them. I am grateful for the life I have and will not worry about being coupled up for now.

    • Talya Price

      You have been single your entire life? You have never had a partner nor dated anyone?

    • The Daily Love

      You have a great head on your shoulders, Marie. Best wishes in whatever path you choose! -Team TDL

  • Talya Price

    This will be 3rd Xmas that I will be single. I feel like doing something spontaneous, like going a a 4 day trip somewhere and just having fun. I personally dislike Xmas, I think is it all BS, it is all about consumerism. I prefer Halloween. But I like being single I have the freedom to date anyone I please and do whatever I like. Society makes it out that being single is a horrible thing, but as long as you are comfortable with yourself that is all that matters. Most people who are in relationships don’t really want to be in them.

    • Christine Hassler

      Freedom is for sure a perk!

    • The Daily Love

      We hope you take that trip, Talya! You’re so right, being single can be such a wonderful thing. -Team TDL