People will treat you how you TEACH them to treat you!

Since I have been so focused on creation lately, I’m really inspired about what it takes to create!

I do believe that it takes intense focus to create. Multi-tasking is not optional.

Now, I know you might not be able to take a whole month off like I am to write your book or create your heart’s desire. I wasn’t always able to do that either.

It was something I had to earn.

But when I was first getting started, I could find an hour, or half hour or a day on the weekend.

But – the key is – DON’T LET ANYTHING ELSE DISTRACT YOU.

Turn off your phone.

Get “SelfControl” for your Mac and turn off the internet.

Set up an email autoresponder so people know that you are not available by email.

Setup a voicemail message that lets people know you won’t be getting back to them right away.

Set boundaries.

I’ve really gotten clear in the last week (thanks a lot to YOUR help) that you GOTTA set healthy boundaries when you want to create. And then you have to enforce them.

People will treat you how you TEACH them to treat you!

So, if you are serious about creating something – a book, a screenplay, a business, anything – you gotta get clear about WHY you are doing it and then get about the business of making it happen.

This means boundary setting.

This means being able to do ONE thing at a time.

Doing one thing at a time is an underrated skill.

In this day and age we bow down to multi-tasking, but I’ve found that when I multi-task as I am trying to create, I get dumber.

I’m not as creative.

I’m not as open.

I’m not as tapped in to Source.

 

I’m thinking about too many things. I’m thinking about all kinds of other things besides what I’m trying to create.

The goal then is to focus our energy and attention on one task at a time.

It seems almost impossible in this day and age, but it is. But you have to design it.

You can’t just magically hope that it will happen. All of life is trying to get your attention. Loved ones. Advertisements. Social media. Email. Text.

It’s all grabbing at you. And you have the power to say ENOUGH – and design a boundary so that YOU can create.

This is what I’m doing – it’s taking some getting used to, but I can do it – and it’s working.

What boundary can you set today? How do you want people to teach people to treat you?

As always, the action happens in the comments below. Leave a comment and join the conversation! The TDL Community thrives in the comments and it’s a GREAT place to get support!

Love,

Mastin

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Mastin Kipp is the founder and CEO of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

  • Mayralou

    Mastin,
    I want to start of by congratulating you and thanking you! What you’re doing here (@ TDL) is amazing to say the least. Your blog and followers have helped me overcome a from year and I finally feel worthy of living a blessed life, which I now realize I’ve always had. Today’s blog really resonated with me. Setting boundaries has been a struggle for me but you’re right people will treat you the way you allow. I’ve been doing alot of “”surface” work spiritually but THIS YEAR is my year to truly appreciate and proudly embrace who I am! I’m so excited!! Thank you for teaching by example. 🙂

    Many blessings,
    Mayra

    • Bella Dodds

      Wonderful to hear Mayra. I think truly and authentically loving and appreciating who you are 100% … is the most sacred, powerful and life-changing process you can have. When you truly love and appreciate yourself everything shifts and flows from there. I have recently looked at this more deeply again too, and so much has shifted in my life  since I have re-explored my relationship with my Self. Throughout the day for months now I have been reconnecting to loving and valuing myself fully. What a beautiful journey. Thanks for posting xo Bella

  • Breatheinbalance108

    Thank you for this reminer! I am recently separated, trying to focus on ME in these next months. I have spent years putting others’ needs first and have not been good at setting boundaries (can you say “co-dependent?). I needed a definition about what those even looked like.

    It is a stressful time right now so somedays all I can do is cry but I need to allow myself to do that if I need to. Then, there are these moments when I know that I had to experience this pain to create. I need to create a stronger me, a me that is in LOVE with ME! A me that can set boundaries and take time to write those stories, to learn to salsa dance, to be in a play.

    I can do it! Thanks so much.
    Blessings, Carrie

  • Mastin your comment is sooooo on target!  Focus on one task is a very undervalued skill and I find that it is very important to remind yourself that we all have the power of choice and which is in itself a gift as it allows us to set our sail in the direction that we choose to travel.  Choice is powerful!  Your post is not only timely, but is truly a gentle reminder of what it takes to remain in a creative space 🙂  I am grateful for your transparency, your compassion in allowing us to share this journey with you and I wish you abundance, joy, lots of creativity energy and success as you take your life to the next level!  Happy Monday!

    Nicole McNair of Washington DC

  • Aratsenyah34

    I like the idea of ” teaching” people how to treat you. I’ve always allowed others to ” be themselves”. But unfortunately,I end up hurt,angry, and unfulfilled. I used to think boundaries were only used if you didn’t want someone in your space. I’m now seeing that boundaries are a food thing and that i don’t have to except the crumbs that people want to throw at me because of their lack of relational integrity.
    So this definitely reiterates that I can teach others how I want and need to be treated. And in fact it’s the only way a ” healthy” relationship can flourish. Otherwise, the other individual wont respect or care about you because you don’t even do it for yourself. You will quickly find out who’s still there once you break out these boundaries and if they can’t except your boundaries then you don’t want them to walk with on your journey of life.

  • Hi Mastin:  Great post!  This is my biggest challenge right now… as a recovering care-taker (always putting others needs before my own).

    What I’m learning is that we have to take our own desire “to create” seriously before we can convince others.
     

  • Laurey B.

    Mastin,
    This one was AWESOME!  I realized awhile back that multi-tasking was causing me to do everything halfway.  I learned that I needed to focus to truly accomplish great things.  Thank you so much for sharing your experience.  I really hope that this catches on with others.  I feel that we will have people doing greater things with less stress in their lives if they do.

    Keep creating and doing the wonderful things that you do.
    Laurey

  • tidylittlechicken

    Good Morning!

    I have a question about today’s devotional.  One of the first lines is ‘Multi-tasking is
    not optional.’  Later, Mastin talks about how ‘In this day and age we bow down to multi-tasking, but I’ve
    found that when I multi-task as I am trying to create, I get dumber.’

     

    I am just a little confused because
    these two statements seem to contradict each other.  I am thinking maybe the word “optional” was
    supposed to be “optimal”.  Just putting
    it out there as it confused me a little. 
    Thanks!  I love your devotionals
    so very much!! This one touched me so very deeply this morning, as my best friend’s mother used to tell her all the time that you teach people how to treat you, and she passed along that saying to me!

    Thanks and Namaste!

    Jennie in Nashville, TN

  • Mrsorr0925

    Hi mastin
    I’ve always had major trouble with multitasking due to my ADHD issues and anxiety. I believe I give these “issues” to much power but could this be the cause of my multitasking problem? Is it really ok to do one thing at a time?

  • Avital Weiss

    Hi Mastin,
    Yes indeed! Before setting these boundaries…I am working on 100% commitment to my creativity.  Just came across the concept of 99% is hard, 100% is easy.  To commit 99% to my creativity will be hard and leave room for procrastination and excuses.  100% commitment will be easy.  It becomes a priority and not an option to not show up for myself.
    Thank you Mastin, You inspire me
    Tali

  • Drew

    Amen my brotha!! Couldnt be better said… I am so happy and proud that you have liberated yourself from the demands that have prevented you from fully crafting your creativity. Its an inspiration Mastin… Way to go! Daily freedom from the technology is SO fulfilling!
    All my love
    Drew

  • Since I have asked Cinnamon Lofton to be my teacher (an INTENSIVE  spiritual experience in humbling the EGO,) I have had to create a whole different life. All my friends and family know…that my spiritual growth (GOD) COMES FIRST. My husband for the first time cried and said, “THANK YOU,” yesterday because he is FINALLY getting it (THIS IS HUGE!) The more willing I am to unconditionally love myself fully-the more I will unconditionally love him (and he knows it.) He does not complete me. I complete me. Love is, “What can I do for you?” NOT “what will you do for me?” This is when I will fully understand that “IT IS IN GIVING THAT WE RECEIVE,” I want to be of service in this way to the world (in person or energetically). I go to class 3x a week (about 10 hours total) and I will go…even on my Birthday (which is coming up). I really can’t believe how much I have grown and changed; I like me-more than ever before. I am experiencing what it means to be…ENOUGH!  And, I am realizing how much more growing is necessary for me to create ONENESS with other people (I have a propensity towards self-rigteousness). Recently (as of yesterday), my EGO has been tested to the HILT!!!! I have been up all night, and I have been everywhere but present. Tears are flowing right now because I am going to let go of something I am ADDICTED to. I know it is timely. I asked Cinnamon Lofton to raise the bar on me, and the flashlight is VERY BRIGHT. Two days ago, I thanked G0d for giving me the choice to change my self-righteousness, if I was willing. To align myself with my soul. And, BAM….God delivered in ONE DAY. It is a choice we all have. The opportunity to really obliterate my EGO was given. And I…am going to take it. 
    The Daily Commenter,
    Kathleen
    are-you-there-kathleen-its-me-god.blogspot.com/ 

    • Nikkizajac

      I just wanted to say THANK-YOU. Your post totally aligned with me. I feel I struggle big with my self-righteousness and the ego. It’s nice to feel connected and understood by someone who experiences the same thing! I too, am trying to shift this mindset. 🙂

      • Hi there….thank you for commenting. I did notice that I did not write what I have decided to do. It may seem small to a lot of people. To me? IT’S HUGE! It is my biggest security blanket. How am I suppose to ask my son to stop sucking his thumb when I am unwilling to get rid of my false sense of comfort. Ok…Ok…What is it? I am…cutting my hair. 

        • Wow!!  That’s amazing…such a big step! Good for you 🙂

  • KSO

    Thank you, Mastin, for confirming what I learned years ago and consciously try to impress on my children.  Most challenging part is getting people I’ve known for a long time to understand my growth – and implenting boundaries are mile markers for this.  Setting boundaries says I am not the same person I was.  If others have a hard time comprehending, that’s on them;  I have a journey to complete with or without their acceptance, encouragement, and cooperation.

    Always in the grace of God,
    K

  • Cristina S

    You are so right about the importance of setting boundaries. Sometimes we have to learn to say no and prioritize in what really matters. Focusing in one thing at a time is crucial. Obviously, it’s easier said than done. A TIP for other TDL members: I’ve been using evernote for over year in conjunction with the Getting things done system developed by David Allen. I highly recommend using both evernote and the GTD system !!!

    HAPPY HAPPY WEEK EVERYONE <3

  • Ok- there are many posts that seem as if you are in my head but this topic is EXACTLY what I’m focusing on this week.  When your mission is to help others, it is sooooo easy to get out of balance and the boundaries can go out the window.  I am too easily distracted by people or clients needing an answer right away and wanting to have a whole convo via texting. I AM NOT A FAN! Pick up the phone and call me instead or send an email that I can check and reply at my leisure!! Grrrr. I closed my Instagram account and deleted the icon off my iPhone now I’m practicing self control with my computers. Thanks for the smack up side the head Mastin.. you rock! 

  • This is beyond true! So much of my anxiety used to revolve around my fear of people taking advantage of me. Now I know that by standing in my power, and voicing what acceptable and not, I am teaching others how to interact with me. As a result, I no longer have toxic relationships around. Life changing! Thanks Mastin xo

  • Angrmd

    Ive learned that multitasking is not a quality trait and that it is actually a bad habit. If people treat you unrespectfully, it is your responsibility to advise them what you want and how they need to treat. It seems to me that I work on not being a victum everyday and I am working very hard to get my creativity flowing. I needed a focus reminder. THANKS!

  • TELLUSELLE

    A good tip is to find music to listen to while writing, which will work as an “isolation board”, preferably instrumental so you don’t catch yourself listening to the lyrics and thinking about other things. And just like with studying for school, pace yourself with scheduled breaks every other hour or so. For me, it has always been mostly about just finding a computer to write on and letting it flow… Good luck!

  • Betrue313

    Mastin,

    I saw you on Oprah’s Super soul sunday and became inspired to do what I’ve always loved to do! I have begun my career as a motivational and an inspirational speaker. I have just launched my website http://www.betrue2you.com please Check it out and spread the word! The blogs are amazing and I have been told by many that it touches them and provokes them to think! I know you’ll love it!

  • Mitxy908

    Congratulations! You inspire people. ( ^ __ ^ )

  • msllford

    I really hate to leave a negative comment because I have deeply appreciated reading your blogs for the past year+, but I want to be honest and admit that I am a bit bothered by how self-important your posts seem lately. I used to find your blogs so inspiring and motivating, but I find myself slightly irritated upon reading them here of late. I agree that taking care of self is important, but over indulgence in self can be risky. I realize that your blog is about you, but I would like to see a return to the blogs of old where the focus was on motivation for seeking the uni-verse/divine rather than the jet-setting, fabulous life of Mastin. I do not like to be so negative, just seems that the focus of your blog has (unfortunately) changed.

    • mastin

      My blog has always been about what I am going through and what’s in front of me. So, natuarally that will change. If you see me writing about something, it’s because that’s what I’m going through. That has always been the same. What I’m going through will change. Can you be open to that? :o)

      • msllford

        Thank you for responding! I need to clarify a bit…I applaud you for what is and has been happening for you in your life. You have been on what seems to be an incredibly exciting journey of self-discovery and I think that your “fabulous life” 🙂 is evidence that what you are doing personally is working, and I commend you for that.
        I personally believe that as humans we are constantly struggling between the two parts of our self, the ego self that has been created by the reflection we see of ourselves through the world, and our true self, the part that has been and always will be one with the creator. I believe that we all struggle with this because these two parts of our self have different goals, the ego wishes to see itself and its importance within the world, the true self wishes to dissolves into the creator realizing that there is no greater peace than reaching that equilibrium. I also believe that our ability to be truly inspiring comes when others recognize our desire to focus on our true self, because it is only from this place that we can truly connect with one another; it is where we are all the same (loving creatures connected through the creator).  As a human I am inspired by your accomplishments, they are incredible but they resonate with the part of me that I identify as my ego. I am more inspired when I see the search for the true self, and reflections that resonate within that place of equilibrium, a place that I believe our true self is always seeking.

    • beloving

      Is it possible to shift your interpretation? 

      I admit I skimmed over the post (sorry Mastin!) initially because I didn’t think it applied to me. I’m not taking a month off writing a book! Something made me come back to the post, though, and upon reading it more thoroughly, realized that it had everything to do with me. I’m awful at boundaries. I put others needs ahead of mine more often than is probably healthy. I try to do WAY TOO MUCH. Result?  The one thing I am focusing on today is being more conscious of the thing I am doing at the moment. So, can you reread and try to find something inspirational? 

  • Dora

    Wow, I sooooo needed to read this, I just came on here after letting another day slip through my fingers not doing what I really wanted or needed to do due to a ton of distractions, thanks so much for this!

  • Bella Dodds

    I find it quite amazing how themes flow in all of our lives … similarities we share even though we are all living such different lives! Very cool indeed. Thanks for this post today : ) I am actually in Maui for a month … after working my booty off for 6 years (so this stay-cation is well earned!) to take time this month to heal and revive in the Hawaiian energy as I work on a new ebook for living anxiety free. 

    I just started today getting into my writing and it is amazing all the energy (excitement and fear) it brings up! So thank you for this post it is beautiful timing to get 100% committed to exactly what I want to create and set a clear intention and focus for myself – with very disciplined boundaries to accomplish the most out of this sacred month. 

    Muchicimas gracias!! Good luck on your writing and to everyone else on the Daily Love building your creative life and purpose xo Fun to see our interconnection.

    One Love,

    Bella xo

  • Santana1 Lewis

    My boundary today is taking some time away from work to focus each moment on the task at hand. From getting out of bed, having a shower, eating food and taking one small task to bring me back out on top at a time. Thank you Mastin.

  • Queen

    I will set boundaries so I can dive into my goals by not logging into social sites while I’m supposed to be working or before 9pm. I will set boundaries by not responding to text messages until the night time. I wiI will do paper work and file administrative work after 9pm or before 8 am.

  • Loved this post! 

    I recognize the importance of a spiritual practice and I do it for myself. I have started with 10 minutes of meditation every morning, and collective meditation once per week conducted by an Indian Dada, at the Yoga center which I´m associated. 
    Grateful I have found your work.Hugs
    Amalia