I recently had a Twitter Chat where we discussed the subject of Positive Parenting. It was one of the most popular chats to date. I often work with clients who are focused on how difficult it is to raise children and they reach out to me to be able to help them find an easier way. Is it true for you that raising children is difficult?
I invited everyone in the chat to consider that perhaps when things feel difficult it is an opportunity to stop, to breathe, and to get creative. Perhaps there is a different way to deal with the situation at hand than how it is normally dealt with. When we breathe we are putting a pause button on the mind and asking our Heart to share its voice and wisdom with us.
Hands down, Parenting is my favorite spiritual practice. I fall hard, dust my knees off, and get back into the game doing the best I can do, like everyone else. Although parenting can be quite a challenge for me to stay committed to what I say is important to me, everyday gets better and better. Every night I put my head on my pillow and thank the Uni-verse for the beautiful teachers (my children) I have been given to care for and nurture.
I have extracted a few ideas from the Twitter Chat that really struck a chord with me and I wanted to share them with you. They were the most shared and commented on from the entire chat which means it not only struck the chords of my own Heart, but those of many others.
Yelling at children is a weakness in us — not something that they deserve.
We must commit to learning how to properly communicate our frustration.
When things feel difficult it is often because we’ve forgotten we aren’t alone.
We need to reach out and ask for help more often.
Our actions, not what we say or verbally teach them, are what our children will become.
We must instill the habit of Gratitude in our children if we want them to be happy and peace-filled.
When we look into our children’s eyes we can feel who they are inside. Our hearts melt into each other.
We must make it a priority to take time to pause and connect with our children.
We must strive to stop telling our children how to be and what to do.
We must live by example.
When we take time for ourselves, we will relax and gentleness is experienced.
We must commit to being gentle with ourselves. We are doing the best we can.
If you truly feel you can do something better, please begin doing it now.
Let’s remember to wake our children up slowly in the morning with gentleness and love.
The first hour of their morning creates the foundation for the rest of their day.
We must give our children the gift of waking up slowly.
Their nerves will be relaxed and their bodies centered and connected.
Let’s commit to stop pretending that we know so much more than our children.
For any of you parents out there, you know this isn’t the case.
Our children are brilliant beings and have very powerful and intelligent voices.
When we honor the voice of our children we are giving them a gift so many of us were denied.
The next time we want to prove that our point is right and get into a huge argument with our children, let’s remember that we aren’t always right. Sometimes it is simply a matter of opinion. It takes two people to argue but one person willing to be understanding.
It would be a wise choice to stop saying that teenagers are so difficult. They really aren’t.
Teenagers are simply wanting a safe place to explore who they are and want to stop being forced into the mold of what we may want them to become.
May we remember to create healthy boundaries so that our children may explore who they are and build their self-esteem along the way.
My favorite tweet from the chat and also the best advice my mom ever gave me: Pick your battles.
Define what is worth making into battle and let go of the rest.
Huge hugs to each and every one of you who is reading this. Stress really affects how we feel and impacts how we see situations. Let’s commit to making time to take care of ourselves so that we can be more connected, positive caretakers to these remarkable beings we were given to nurture.
In Health and Love,