It is accountability of the highest order with a group of energized people on a journey of action and intention.
I had a shift today which I want to share.
I found myself irritable on many levels for many reasons. The coaching I got brought up the messy little fact that there is still a residual element of my shame and story that I drag around with me.
And the awareness I got around the coaching I received was that it was “so yesterday.” My story residual has become the “cork in the bottle that prevents my journey to my inner divinity, and maintains the status quo.”
I went into this place of vulnerability and feeling raw and fragile, and my energy levels bottomed off the meter. This was exacerbated by one of the course leaders, who kept poking at me all day, which further pushed me into anger and discomfort.
I felt like I wanted to deck someone.
I am secure enough in my spiritual evolution to realize that it wasn’t about them and it was all about me, so I committed to sit in the anger and pissyness for as long as was needed. And I have had enough first-hand experience to realize that by stepping into discomfort, a new world of possibilities opens up.
Eventually I realized that just below the anger was a heavy dose of grief, and I realized that I was grieving that part of me that had just completely outlived its welcome. It’s like the family member you feel obliged to entertain because of family pressure, when all you really want is to run them out of town!
Today was the day that that part of me had to die. Today I became ready to no longer use my story as a weapon against myself. And I was grieving the death of this dark but so familiar part of me.
You would think I would want to send my past shame packing at the first possible chance. But the truth is, up until today, I have been invested in keeping just a small remnant of the story as residual when needed. It’s like that unwelcome family member that you want to send packing, but there is some tiny, nagging, illogical, biological, psychological, pathological reason that you want to indulge the familiarity just a tiny bit longer!
But today was D day for my shame monkey residual, because it actually finally was completely outed as ridiculous, boring, repetitive, self-indulgent and so yesterday, and for me to drag it another inch would be utter stupidity, very self-indulgent and completely counter to my purpose.
My past story is done! My future story is being created and there is NO place in my life anymore for victim! The familiarity of my story has so outlived its purpose, and those that love me, know me and see me held me today to the highest accountability.
And as I move forward into creating and manifesting the story of my future grounded in purpose and service, I will commit to being conscious and vigilant of leaving the past story where it belongs! In the past!
So is your story an old story that is keeping you stuck, or is it a new story that is moving you towards purpose?
Will you commit to being conscious and vigilant of leaving your past story where it belongs? In the past!
Could you avoid becoming a casualty of “friendly fire” and refuse to use your story as a weapon against yourself?
Much Love & Welcome Home,
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Ryf Van Rij is a coach and creator of “The Daily Way Home.” He has also been an Actor, a Commercial Pilot, a Business Co-Owner and an Events Coordinator at a Major City Art Gallery.