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Rediscover your feminine

OMG! It’s Daily Love TV day.

Today’s topic is red hot. It might be confronting.

It might make you angry. It make you happy. I might make you think. Either way, my hope is that you come to today’s topic with an open mind. And if you find yourself getting mad, triggered or in anyway offended – try to keep a child’s mind. A new mind. The topic: reclaiming your feminine.

This is for men and women. Gay and straight.

There’s SO much confusion around this topic and it’s messing up the love lives of millions of people all over the world.

Get clear.

In the comments in below please let me know how you are going to reclaim your feminine.

And please keep it classy in the comments. Remember, we are here for growth. And growth requires a new perspective. OK!   Have a great day!

And remember, take action and make it real!

Lots of LOVE,

Mastin

P.S. Take what resonates in this blog and leave the rest.

[Begin Transcript]

Mastin: Hey and welcome to Daily Love TV. I’m your host Mastin Kipp Founder of TheDailyLove.com and you may have remember a couple of months ago we had our Dear friend Dylan on who, well he didn’t give the best advice. So he has been doing the training and we wanted to invite him back onto Daily Love TV to talk about our topic today which is all about the confusion between masculine and feminine roles in our society so I would like to welcome Dylan. Dylan come on in man take it away.

Dylan: Thank you. Well I’m happy to be back, thank you Mastin.  Well this week I want to clear up some confusion about the masculine vs feminine. From a guy’s perspective, you know, often times we have this confusion of why am I not attracting my soul mate? Why is this woman that I want she’s not in my life? Well I have this tip for you men and a big tip is have her pay a dinner, give her the check. Show her that’s ok for her to pay. And really just sit back and you know, let her come to you.

Mastin: You have a long way to go my friend, a long way to go.

Dylan: What do you mean?

Mastin: That’s just, we’ll talk later again my friend. Well talk, ok?

Dylan: Sure.

Mastin: That advice, that’s not what I told you to say.

Dylan: Sure.

Mastin: Yeah, that’s why it’s not working. You know what I mean? That’s what I’m saying right?

Ok, let’s go to it. Let go to it? Who says that?

Mastin: Hey this is Mastin Kipp Founder of The Daily Love, and welcome to The Daily Love TV. Today I would like to talk about a topic that has a lot of confusion. You know I’ve done events ALL over the world from Bali, to Sydney Australia, to London England, to Hamburg Germany, in New York, Miami, LA, Vancouver all over the world. And this topic has equal confusion everywhere I go. Now before I dive into today’s topic, I just want to invite you to come with this content, come at this information with a child’s mind a new mind. You may have heard certain stuff around this topic before. What I say may trigger you or it might upset you if it does, just notice that, because there actually could be a really powerful lesson in that. So what I want to talk about today is the role of the Mas vs the role of the Fem. Now when we hear masculine and feminine we tend to think that those are genders like male and female, that’s not actually true. A male person like me, who is a male, has both masculine and fem energy inside of them inside us. Same thing is true for women or female. Women have masculine and feminine energy. And so what I want to talk about today is mostly for feminine people, not just women but anyone who is in the feminine, which is this sort of trend that I’m seeing and the trend is this; You’re look for your soul mate, You’re look for romance, and for some reason you either can’t seem to keep a mas partner.

Or if you are in a relationship with a masculine partner you don’t respect the masculine partner. And in many ways, maybe you’re roommates, maybe its passionless, there’s no sex, there’s no connection, no intimacy, and you kind of just occupy the same space. I’ve seen this trend, now this trend applies not only to straight relationships but to gay, and lesbian, and bi relationships so it doesn’t discriminate against your sexual preference, but there is a reason why this happens and it’s basically a lack of polarity. “A Lack of Polarity.”  What what does this mean? Its means that we have to have both masculine and feminine energies, and when you have both the masculine and feminine those opposites attract it creates friction. It creates that sense of intimacy and passion that we yearn for in a relationship. And here’s what’s happened we have a whole generation of feminine folks who have been raised on to not rely on the masculine, not count on the masculine, to not trust the masculine and to do it themselves. And many of these people are women and they have done a great job of becoming very successful in the workplace, maybe they are high 5 or 6 figure maybe 7 figure earners, they are rocking their own business, they are making it happen, financially they are crushing it they are doing a great job but when they get home at night and they put their pillow on their bed that little girl comes out and she is like “Where’s mine? Where is my guy? Where is my presence?” right? And not like presents, as like gifts, but like physical presence of the masculine. And then this continues. And then we have folks who are in the same way, in the same feminine presence but they come home and they are in their relationship but it’s like roommates. It’s like passionless, they might as well be best friends, or co-occupying the same space. And why has this has happened? Here is why this has happened; we have had a lot of women become very powerful, which I am all for and which I believe the Dalai Lama was correct when he said “The World Will Be Save By The Western Woman.” I believe that to be 100% true, The Daily Love is read by 93% of women I am a huge fan of you know empowered women but here is the rub. An empowered woman is not a female acting like a male or acting like a masculine force. There is a time and a place to use masculine energy, to you know cut off emotion and make it happen, to drive through, to push through, to achieve, to go, that’s a masculine trait both men and women can do it. But here is the problem most women, if you have the Bell Curve, most women have a feminine core. That is on the inside they are feminine, they want that vulnerability, they have emotions, their ups and downs, their flowings, there is all kinds of movement internally with women. But what they’ve done is masked it. They put on a masculine mask, and are acting masculine both at work and in their relationships. So what’s happening basically instead of having a masculine and a feminine force, you have two masculine forces which repel each other. And so how do we go about unraveling this?

Well I want to tell you that an empowered woman, is a woman who understands the power of the feminine. (Click to tweet) We are scared of the feminine in our culture.  We are scared of the vulnerability.  We are scared of the compassion and the empathy because we equate it with weakness, but that’s not true. Renee Brown reminds us that when you lead with vulnerability it’s a very powerful thing. In fact not just in our personal lives, but also managers who lead with vulnerability who say “You know what? I have this problem, and I can’t figure it out on my own. Can you help me? Can you help me with this vulnerability?” get more stuff done, create better working environments, create better products and you know better outcomes. So here is my invitation today, look at your life and feel this idea of the masculine. The masculine is driving, the masculine is tension, the masculine is about achieving and that’s necessary in life we need that in you know when I’m here filming, doing Daily Love stuff I’m fully in my masculine. When you’re working, when you’re building your business or you’re going to that work. Whatever you’re doing you’re fully in the masculine, but if you’re a feminine being can you take time to switch so when you get home you step into more of a feminine role? Can you take 20 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour to take some time to decompress to let that feminine part of you back out, vulnerable part of you back out? Because here is the reality “We are attracted in a partner what we are NOT.” So the masculine is attracted to the feminine because the masculine is tense and the feminine is flowy and intuitive. When the masculine is so tense when they see that beautiful, passionate, empathetic, flowing feminine we are attracted to it. And the same thing is true with the feminine, the feminine is attracted to more masculine things and that’s what creates that passion.

So if you’re having a hard time you know, keeping the respect in the relationship, or you’re not respecting your partner, see if you can actually let them lead, see if you can actually let them open the door. This isn’t some 1950’s patriarchal B.S., it’s just that when the masculine partner opens the door literally the testosterone increases, the oxytocin increases in the feminine partner that creates biochemistry for passion right? We know that you can open the door, but it’s not about that. We know that you could pay for the meal, but it’s not really about that. It’s about getting back to our core, our dynamics. So if you’re a feminine person with all these masculine tendencies what could be some ways that you could allow yourself to slip back into the feminine? How could you lead with vulnerability? How could you lead with a little bit more compassion or empathy or tuition? Which are very powerful feminine traits.

Please let me know in the comments below how you’re going to embody more of the feminine and let it out so you can lead with the feminine, rather than always be with the masculine.

Also if this video has been inspiring please feel free to share it with family, friends, people that you care about to brighten their day. And also subscribe to us on YouTube so you get notified on our next update. As always here on Daily Love TV Take Action and Make It Real. I’ll see ya next time.

[End Transcript]

  • Kylie

    I think for me, it will be about embracing the femininity of listening, and observing. Most days I am all about action and talking and getting things done and ticking off lists. Sometimes I think I miss things because I’m so busy I’m not listening to what my body is trying to tell me, or what others are truly saying/doing before I launch in.

    • Dee La Belle

      What a wonderful topic Mastin! Today,I feel encouragement to be girlie. To not follow my list like mad woman on a mission. I will do what feels right. Playing some music, painting without a purpose and creating beauty in my space. I was raised to be very masculine and to push myself and do. Thank you for this wonderful topic in Such a masculine sided society. I’ve been getting the daily love for a week now and feel very positively influenced!

      • Mastin

        love this Dee!

    • Mastin

      nice distinction Kylie!

  • Journi

    Hey Mastin,

    Thanks for the video. Good Stuff. However, I have a different scenario that happens to me. What happens when people are attracted to you BECAUSE you appear in business and life to be strong and powerful and exhibit those masculine qualities but then when you get into the relationships and you try to be vulnerable and open, the person says, “Um wait. I didn’t sign up for this. You’re suppose to be the strong one that doesn’t need anything.” I have found that I don’t get punished for being too masculine (as you said on the Daily Love Tour) I tend to get punished for being feminine, vulnerable and needing someone and NOT being masculine all the time. Thoughts?

    • Irena

      Journi, you said:” I tend to get punished for being feminine, vulnerable and needing someone and NOT being masculine all the time. Thoughts?”
      Maybe you should take a close look at what kind of partner you’re attracting in the first place?
      And also to ask yourself what kind do You really want?
      Are your partners masculine enough or are they attracted to you because they’re themselves have more feminine energy and attracted to your masculine side? So when you show your feminine part there is no polarity between two of you?
      Because if we want to attract masculine partner, as Mastin said, we should embrace our feminine energy within. Which is expressing itself in our emotions, our vulnerability, openness, ability to listen others with all our attention. When we honor ourselves, our emotions, accept and observe them, we are getting softer, and generate different, more subtle vibe. And its different then feel needy. This is a key, in my view. As soon as we Need someone we scare them away.
      When we focus on our inner self, not on them, we became to be more naturally feminine and then more attractive.
      Sorry for the long post but You asked for thoughts:)

    • Sarah

      I have the same issue. I think it boils down to think like a man but act like a woman in a relationship. In other words, if someone tells you at the 11th hour they cannot meet you for a date that was planned weeks in advance with no real explanation, simply as a man not waste time but as a woman thank them for their time and wish them well. A powerful business woman would make light of how much time was wasted, how they should have been told in advance, there are several ways to communicate. What is the reason, prove to me etc. Vulnerability opens doors for more and more disappointment in situations like this.

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for reaching out with your question Journi! It looks like you’ve gotten some great advice from the TDL community! -TDL Team

  • Kate Colburn

    Thanks for a great discussion and help to my daily life. I have a “roommate” marriage but the issue is that my husband has to be strongly masculine each day at his work. Therefore by the time he gets home he flips more to his feminine side in the form of emotionally turning to his little boy side that wants to be cuddled. It is as if his masculine energy is drained by his work and he does not display it at home. This video was a great help at giving me some insight as to what is going on.

    • Mastin

      you might think about getting him the book “way of the superior man” – may help him. in the mean time – how can you focus on re-connecting to your core?

      • jambramon

        But why is it up to him to embody the masculine energy at home? The initial premise was that both sexes contain both forms of energy. Thus true balance and attraction may come not by requiring the male to embody the masculine energy our requiring the female to embody the feminine energy. Instead the goal may be to create relationship where each partner plays different roles at different times; giving each the opportunity to express their complete, dynamic self.

  • DJ

    I can relate – I’ll do my best to go home and show up in “girlfriend mode”, rather than the “get out of my way cause sh*t’s gotta get done!” super-mom identity I’ve taken on… maybe I’ll even ask for a hug. Thank you Mastin – I totally got that.

    • Mastin

      love that! a bath, a shower, some yoga, some wine… girl time is great to relax the amygdala

    • The Daily Love

      That’s a great step to take!! Everybody needs a hug :) -TDL Team

    • Allison

      Funny!

  • http://kileejohnson.com/ Kilee Johnson

    Mastin,
    Thank you so much for bringing up this topic. I agree that it is not well understood at the moment. I appreciate your willingness to bring the concept of feminine power out into the mainstream. Lately, I have been doing a lot of reading, learning and practicing of allowing my divine feminine to shine through. It has created such a positive change in my day to day life!!! People are noticing. :)
    To continue this shift, I am going to put my intentions out into the Universe, let them go and trust that the right people and opportunities will show up for me at the right time. I am used to being a high achiever and “going after” what it is I want to accomplish. As soon as I slowed down, allowed myself rest, relaxation and enjoyment, the things I desired started popping up in my life.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on feminine vs. masculine power and attributes. I will spread the word on this once I feel more clear and defined about this shift in power.
    Have a wonderful day,
    Kilee

    • Mastin

      thank you Kilee! keep up the great work!

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for sharing your experience with us Kilee! Keep up your journey to the Divine Feminine, best wishes! -TDL Team

  • Nicola Bibby

    Wait for the guy to call me, text me first ;) Try and let him take the lead :)

    • Mastin

      good idea!

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for sharing Nicola and thanks for reading! -TDL Team

  • Jen-nay

    Its all about the dance and when to lead and when to be led. Recognizing this is the key. What do I plan to do? Seek guidance and clarity so that we have a graceful dance, and we stop stepping all over each other’s toes!

    • Mastin

      love

    • The Daily Love

      That’s a great metaphor Jen-nay! Thanks for sharing it with us!! -TDL Team

  • Jcbr

    When you let your devine feminine flow, the magik really starts to happen ;)

    • Mastin

      i agree Jcbr!

  • Liz

    This was eye-opening! I hold on to masculine energy and often refer to myself as a “dude” and when male friends of mine tap into the feminine energy I’m like “He’s such a chick!” :s I thought that was funny until now.

    I tend to get offended when men open doors for me rather than focusing on how something like that makes them feel good, they’re being courteous and I’m just thinking “What a jerk! I’m quite capable of opening my own door. Geez!” I’ll even rush to open the door for them next just to prove I can :s

    I tend to look at feminine energy as weakness, I clearly have some healing to do around that. Thank you, Mastin, for bringing this to my attention!

    • MelleB

      Hi Liz, I’m really impressed with your vulnerability and your response. I can’t wait for you to begin having fun with being feminine! I too have trouble balancing letting them do things for me with wanting to do things myself. But I’m finding it can be a lot of fun having lots of guys helping you with your car, fixing your clogged sink, driving while you sit back and enjoy the ride, paying for nice dinners out. They want to help us and be our Kings, so why not let them? They can really make your life easier and make you feel so special! I wish you best of luck, as I am on a journey of fully coming into womanhood as well, and figuring out what that means to me. It’s complex so I feel you!

      • Liz

        Thanks for the reply :D Its good to know I’m not alone. Good luck on your journey as well!

    • Mastin

      great awareness Liz!!

  • .love.light.joy.

    “…we have a whole generation of feminine folks who have been raised on to
    not rely on the masculine, not count on the masculine, to not trust the
    masculine and to do it themselves.”
    Yup. That’s how I was dragged up by my “family” and that’s why the ex was able to take advantage financially and otherwise for years.
    Since I’ve been trying to find the divine feminine within I seem to be greeted with much higher levels of abuse and rejection…. which is a good thing in many ways because I’m strengthening boundaries, learning more about detaching and getting really clear on what I am comfortable accepting and what I won’t tolerate (great blog the other day, thanks).
    Asking for help from others…. that’s still a big sticking point. Maybe because I am so happy to help others that they then take advantage and end up saying no on the very few occasions that I might ask for help because they’re scared that I’ll do to them what they’ve done in terms of taking advantage?
    I dunno. More work on boundaries.

    Being vulnerable …. boundaries again because I’ve had too many abusers around in the past that it’s really hard to let the guard down.
    Am attempting to read through the Emotional Intelligence book again (can I make it past the first chapter this time lol) … maybe that can help me unravel a few of the ropes that I have tied around my heart.
    Thanks again Mastin ~ brightest blessings.

    • bimini444

      I completely agree. Right there with you. It’s a frustrating situation.

    • Mastin

      we aren’t saying just be vulnerable for anything – your heart has to be EARNED.

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you for sharing your experience with us! Boundaries are definitely something that should be respected and it sounds like you’re learning a lot about this! -TDL Team

  • Bonnie

    I love this topic! Thanks, Mastin! I have a lot of masculine energy when it comes to work and life goals, but I don’t want to be the guy at home. I’m currently getting out of a marriage right now where I was forced to be the masculine energy at home. Can’t wait until I can find the guy who allows me to be the woman I am.

    • Mastin

      love that – in the mean time Bonnie how can you step into more feminine roles in your life?

      • Bonnie

        Mastin – I’ve been working practicing mindfulness, which has really helped me savor the present moment and get back to my true self. For example, today…I took a walk through my garden and appreciated the sunshine, birds, and flowers. In the past, I would have charged off to work in a rush. I feel this is helping me get back to my feminine roles.

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for sharing your experience with us Bonnie! And, thanks for reading! -TDL Team

  • Cilla

    Dear Mastin,Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you !! I NEEDED this video more then you could ever imagine. Can you perhaps give me some advice on things I coud read or watch to get my feminine power back? Love & Light

    • Niki

      I recommend David Deida – he has books and a website!

      • Cilla

        Thank you hun !

    • Mastin

      Alison Armstrong, Pat Allen, David Deida, Harville Hendrix

      • Cilla

        Thank you So much !!

  • Priya

    I think every woman has both types of energy feminine & masculine but its upto mens she has to decide which one to use & when…

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for sharing your perspective with us Priya! -TDL Team

  • Tracie

    Thanks Mastin! I use to have the problem of attracting feminine energy guys because I was bringing my masculine energy from work into my personal life. Then I read a great book…Getting to I DO my Patricia Allen. She discuss this very issue & that we must choose which energy we want in our relationship with our boyfriend. Since reading this book, I now attract masculine guys who open my doors, pay for dinner & want to be providers (although I can do all of this myself). It allows me to be in my feminine energy in the relationship and I love it! Highly recommend the book!! :-)

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you for sharing this with us Tracie!! We appreciate you! -TDL Team

  • Niki

    Thanks Mastin for this video/post – it has come at the perfect time for me. I am reading David Deida’s books and having conversations with my friends about masculine and feminine energy. I can really see how well tapped I am into my own masculine energy (setting goals and accomplishing them, honouring my commitments, knowing my purpose, pushing through difficulty). I am now at a place in my life, I am 44 soon to be 45, where I don’t want to be the strong one all the time aka be tapped so strongly into my masculine. I feel like my gifts are better served by spending more time in my feminine energy. It’s like she’s calling me :) And I am listening! I have been going to a Goddess meetup group for a year where we spend 3 hours once a month reveling in feminine energy – our own and other women’s. I am thinking of attending a Woman Unveiled group that meets one weekend a month to cultivate feminine energy. I belong to another meetup group where we go dancing to live music – and I breathe the feminine energy from the music and dancing right into my core! I am being purposeful when I am out on dates to let my feminine energy out to play by flirting (I’ve been uncomfortable in the past with flirting), letting the man pay and showing him gratitude for it by saying a heartfelt ‘thank you’ (another new thing – I didn’t want to ‘owe’ a man but I now know it’s not about ‘owing’), and not taking charge of the date by letting the man lead (I’m so used to taking charge that I REALLY have to be mindful! LOL). So I’m experiementing, trying out some things, and recognizing that this is a growth point for me that I am cultivating. I want to be and am ready to be penetrated by the gifts of a man who is fully present in his masculine, so that he and I will reap the rewards of my femininity in full bloom!!! Oh yes :) What an adventure!!!

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you for sharing your insight and experiences with us Niki! Thank you for reading! -TDL Team

  • Jenn

    Thanks Mastin,
    Some of the things mentioned were a bit hurtful, yet I agreed with others. I do agree that there is feminine and masculine energy in each individual and that’s very powerful to me. But the characteristics you mentioned of the energies I did not identify with. I am studying Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies at school but also lead a very spiritual life at home and I noticed that it’s difficult for me to understand one without the other. I identify as Queer and am in a partnership with a beautiful individual, but neither of us has fully masculine or feminine energy, and this stands true for many relationships. The solution is not to let another person claim more masculine energy, which you mentioned includes power. I would hate for any individual, no matter their gender identity to feel like they need to give another person power to feel adequate. I do see that acknowledging both the feminine and masculine qualities inside yourself is very beneficial though. These energies do not always match up with stereotypes of what a masculine or feminine person feels like or looks like, the energies themselves are different and I am encouraged to explore how these characteristics in myself balance. Being in touch with my emotions, my strengths, my vulnerabilities, my drives are all very good reminders to me brought to my attention today from you. But I would like to ask you to be extra careful to how you give advice to women in the future, because it tends to be males telling us how to lead our life and to identify, and as a cisgender male makes it very difficult for someone to know how it feels to be a cisgender woman. I know you mean very well, but there are some instances that are not appropriate for me to speak on as a white cisgender women, but I encourage you to continue supporting women in others ways. I thank you for your means of education and this site to receive from. I wish you much light and love on this day.

    • Mastin

      what did u not identify with?

  • Lisa Bova

    Mastin, I love this and it is so true. I have been so strong, done so much in my life, did most of it myself without someone else’s help. It is so interesting how this recently played out in my life over the last 4 plus years and how now I am back to having to start over, and trying not to do it from a masculine energy space, in creating a business and lifestyle that will support me again. It is so easy to go into the do, achieve, push, work hard, male role again, but that is not how I want this business to be or start out with that energy. It is not what I want to create this time. Already done the other, now want to do it another way.

    • The Daily Love

      Awareness is the first step…you are on the path Lisa!! Thank you for sharing with us! -TDL Team

  • Toni

    Mastin, you are a serious mind reader!! Everything thing I’m thinking and teaching about…you are there!! much love…..I’m headed to teach at an amazing event this weekend called Fun Fabulous & Feminine, where women learn to drop into our bodies and hearts, lean back, and experience the feminine expression, connect with other amazing women and get that community we so long for, learn to navigate our relationships in a new way. Check out http://www.funfabfem.com We will get in touch with our desires and so much more. It healed my relationship as I was able to arrive into my feminine so my man could share his masculine more fully.

    • The Daily Love

      It’s all in alignment! Continue to inspire and connect women to their Divine Feminine, you’re fantastic! -TDL Team

  • psychdoc

    Dear Mastin,
    Probably would be useful to have a psychologist on your site who can give you a perspective that is grounded in psychological theory – what you are referring to as masculine and feminine, Psychiatrist Carl Jung called the Anima and Animus, also referred to as Yin and Yang in eastern religious traditions.
    Broad statements such as we are “attracted to our opposites” don’t really express the concept. Ultimately it is about embracing and blending these qualities (archetypes) within yourself and that allows you to embrace these qualities in others – especially your partner, and creates an openness around you that allows another person to connect with you from whatever combination of masculine and feminine energy they are experiencing in that moment.

  • MelleB

    I love this discussion. There are things about both sexes that drive us in relationships that our liberation movements kind of left behind. Not saying we don’t need those movements (women need another one actually), but there are things women love and things men love from the opposite sex that we were told didn’t matter any more, and it’s not true. I’m all about reclaiming the feminine and I’m doing it. However, it has not been easy. Once you begin doing this you see how you open yourself up to harassment and being labeled a ditz at work. Which is oppression. It happens because we have the upper hand sexually over men and it freaks them out. We have ultimate power over them and they don’t want us knowing it so they try to control us: the patriarchy turns to demeaning us, calling us disrespectful names and making us feel guilty for wearing hot outfits (as in classic “she had it coming” crap), all to maintain control over our behavior–making us feel smaller than them and scared of them. They stay “in charge” this way. (This does not apply to you Mastin!) They convince you there are rules you need to follow or you’re going to be in hot water. But those rules were made by them, for us. I say screw that, let’s make our own rules now ladies. We can be as sexy as we want and THEY are in the wrong if they disrespect us, no matter what!

    I’m amazed at how dangerous a feminine woman is, in the workplace and out in society in general. It seems the world can’t take our hotness!!! Screw it ladies, get out there, be yourself, strut your stuff and dress as sexy as you want without feeling guilty or like you’re doing something wrong. Feel free to get out there and stop traffic and never believe for one second that you “have it coming” when men demean you and cross your line. Get in their face and cross their line, tell them your cell phone bill just came in and they need to pay up! Oh, and your sister needs an oil change, ask him how good he is at fixing cars. Then take a nice refreshing gulp of his beer if you’re out at a bar. They have all kinds of fun at our expense, while we’re expected to be mindful ladies. Ha! It’s time we joined in on the games girlfriends.

    • The Daily Love

      Thank you for sharing your insights and perspective with us MelleB! We are grateful you are part of the TDL community! -TDL Team

  • Jennifer Cain

    By allowing and letting go of control and stopping judging all of the men in my life so harshly. The more I judge them the more they will act out! thanks pal! xxx

    • Mastin

      it’s true. they just want a little bit of R-E-S-P-E-C-T

      • Jennifer Cain

        Yes and I need to remember that they deserve it!!

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for sharing this with us Jennifer! And thank you for reading! -TDL Team

      • Jennifer Cain

        You are so welcome!! lots of Love! xxx

  • bimini444

    I completely agree with Mastin. But I have to say sometimes I feel like when I do wait for the masculine energy to lead, I’m waiting for ever. I’ve always had to be the strong type for most of my life well because I’ve always had to take care of myself from childhood, I’m fine with that. But when I realized that I needed to be softer in regarding to being in a relationship, I changed. But I have to say I don’t think this has worked for me. I feel like the masculine energy should take the lead, for instance asking the feminine out. But what I’ve gotten is men who beat around the bush and hint and show interest but don’t step up. It’s like they’re waiting for you to ask them. They ask you out but casually, my friends and I… you should come. Yes people have told me I’m intimidating, whatever. It’s still very annoying and the strong part of me wants to take charge and get things going but I can’t because I’m being “feminine”. I traditionally date older men for this reason so it just might be a generational thing but it really is annoying. To be honest I have practically given up on finding “soulmate”. I’m interested to see what others have to say.

    • Mastin

      how long is “forever” to you?

      • bimini444

        Well if I’m being fully honest I’ve been actively seeking a relationship since 2010. But I’ve only been really doing the spiritual work since 2012 but really seriously since 2013. So I guess it would be fair to say a year and a half, if I were to fairly balance out the time. I’ve been working on this feminine thing for about a year and half. Clearly I’m doing something wrong.

    • The Daily Love

      You are definitely not alone!! Thank you for expressing your struggles and trust that they will be resolved. Stay true to you !! -TDL Team

  • http://www.sexequalityproject.com Muna

    THANK YOU MASTIN. You obviously hit a nerve. I think we’re all very hungry for new ideas about how to ‘reconstruct’ our femininity and masculinity. It’s quite confusing because in the gender system we are conditioned to be feminine only as females and masculine only as males, and the masculine is seen as superior. As a backlash, women moved towards more masculinity hoping to grasp some of men’s power, which they did but they still failed to become equal to them. So what do we do now? There is two layers to the solution. One is bringing in the awesome feminine in both women and men (and in my book I argue in organisations. businesses and society at large too so we become more caring and other focused rather than narcissistic and self focused). Two, distinguish between the conditioned feminine (meek, pretty, sexy, emotional, and maybe even weak, and certainly not assertive or powerful and is symbolized by the color pink) and the awesome feminine (love, compassion, intuition, relationship, etc) and conditioned masculine (tough, competitive, aggressive, in over drive) and the awesome masculine (accomplishment, focus, creating something from nothing). When we embrace these powerful energies we become self reliant and stop being dependent on others, which is a tonic for relationships. I don’t think we need to do anything else other than step into our authentic selves. We don’t need to complicate things by measuring how mas/fem we and our partners are and how much to tweak our fem/mas to make the relationship work, I think this is not only over simplistic but its very confusing. Again, just step into your authentic self, knowing that without a doubt this authentic self denies neither the feminine nor the masculine.

    • The Daily Love

      This is great Muna!! Thank you for sharing with the TDL community! We appreciate you! -TDL Team

      • http://www.sexequalityproject.com Muna

        You’re most welcome. Your audience seems very hungry for more wisdom on the feminine and the masculine, would be very happy to do a live Q&A or workshop with you guys to guide them through the maze of confusion and misunderstandings about the subject. Much love.

    • Morgine

      Dear Mastin Kipp

      I disagree with your suggestions, totally! I am a Woman and I want to Be a Woman 24/7! NOT just when I come home from work!! Yes there is a masculine side to me and a feminine side to you, however, that does not mean I act and behave like a man when I am in my power as a woman!

      Let’s talk about gender differences for a moment and why the world needs more feminine energy right now. The Male gender, world wide, is involved in most of the fighting and killing going on on this planet being the major players in wars, including the creating, manufacturing and selling of machines which are made more and more sophisticated at being able to more easily “kill” more and more people.

      The Male gender more often play sports like football, soccer, rugby, ice hockey, boxing and games in which one team or person beats up on the other. Males are more likely to physically abuse another person, including women and children. In war, it is not uncommon for men to rape women before killing them when villages are wiped out. Our own military for years has had a big problem with soldiers raping fellow female soldiers!! Need I go on. I have lost count of the hundreds of emails I have received wanting to share “KILLER”…marketing techniques, products and such to “annihilate” my competition!!

      I am 64 and spent most of those years attempting to be “as good as a man” because my culture and society demanded I be, in order to be treated “equally”! This was in my neighborhood growing up playing with the boys, at school, anywhere. Geraldine Ferraro was heavily criticized for shedding a few tears during a Presidential campaign speech, because it showed she was “too weak” to be a President!! I for one, want a President who can cry!

      Millions of women complain today because they cannot find men who can feel, talk about their emotions and so on. How can they being raised to “not be a sissy, not be weak, don’t cry” and so on!!

      When I am using my male side in a company I just took over, it looks like this! I call everyone together in one room and tell them my office door is open to everyone. I ask what needs to change so everyone loves coming to work here? I want suggestions from everyone! I want my employees to respect and love me. I already appreciate them and will get to know each one of them personally. I thrive on Oxytocin, not Testosterone!

      I have NO Desire to “beat out, destroy, overcome” my competition! I want us ALL to succeed and grow and prosper. I want to find ways in which we can cooperate with each other and support each other’s growth using our unique talents and skills!

      Western Women might be the leaders of this new world and we will take the men along with us! We are not here to “be better than” you. I am not here to make you pay in any way, or to change you, overcome you. I am here to EMPOWER men to BE all they can be in a more Loving and Compassionate way! To find ways to “Play War Games” instead of fighting real ones. Games in which you can take score and brag, however, no one has to die. A world in which we are each treated Equally, regardless of our Age (!!), gender, color, religion, education and so on.

      You see Mastin, I already LOVE everyone without knowing them. If a man jumped me and began raping me, I would immediately ask what I could do to serve him? I would tell him I love him and I want to be sure I can put him at peace and do what he desires. I have no desire to fight back or hurt him in any way. My heart is Open and Vulnerable Mastin, I see only God’s Face looking back at me in ANY person I engage with! We are all One. It is LOVE, pure and Unconditional, Without Conditions, which will truly Heal this world. (Hatred and Fear do Nothing to Heal me or another person.) This kind of LOVE, Mastin, takes Real POWER and Strength I do not feel many men yet have today. It comes from deep Within and it Solid and Grounded in Trust that surpasses anything you might know.

      I am a Woman and I can carry the World on my shoulders because I know a Divine Source is behind me, a Power stronger than anything, more Infinite than I can imagine. I am forever trusting that Love will be The Answer and I will carry it everyday of this life and onto and through many others I am sure.

      Yes I take action and move ahead and I do so “as a Woman” and not as a man! Thank you for allowing me to share.

      • http://www.sexequalityproject.com Muna

        Thank you for your awesome sharing.

        I would like to make an important clarification here and that is MASCULINE DOESN’T EQUAL MAN AND FEMININE DOESN’T EQUAL WOMAN.

        We have been conditioned for millennia to be masculine if we are men and feminine if we are women (to keep the gender system in place and with it women in second place – remember ‘bare foot and pregnant’?). In this old system the masculine is repressed in women and the feminine repressed in men (which is why we suffer from terrible self alienation). As a result, we confound masculinity with men and femininity with women, rather than see masculinity and femininity for what they are, as energies/attributes/aspects of the self.

        Natural (as opposed to socially conditioned) masculine energies are ones for creating something from nothing, for accomplishment, for asserting oneself in life, and not killing and maiming. What you describe as war mongering, aggressive, super competitive is the gendered/conditioned masculine that goes in overdrive precisely because it is not tempered and integrated with the feminine of love, intuition and compassion.

        Your run your own business and what has allowed you to do that is divine masculine energies of creation and assertion. So go forth and thrive. You never have to BE anything you don’t want to be. Listen only to your heart – and not even to me if am not making sense to you. Much love

        • http://www.sexequalityproject.com Muna

          If you interested in knowing more about this look at this
          http://www.sexequalityproject.com
          with love.

        • Morgine

          Thank you for your Kind reply Muna,

          What I described was yes, the masculine on overdrive, true. I was stating it to make a point. We still live in a culture where this is demonstrated all day long. Like the recent vote where every Republican voted to not increase pay for women in 2014.

          The “focus” seemed to be on Women changing their Mask when they come home from work to become more Feminine, to become more “magnetic” to a man. I did not hear Mastin state WHAT a Man could do in order to draw this out of a woman? Where is his responsibility?

          Many women today do not feel comfortable walking down the street dressed the way they would like to dress, walking anywhere in the dark, being with a man who is drinking, and so on. Many women today do not feel comfortable opening up and become vulnerable to allow a man to penetrate them. This is still shown, and often depicted, as a sign of “surrender” and “giving in”. For me, being Open and Vulnerable requires a great deal of strength and trust. After all, if I happen to get pregnant, despite precautions, I am the one who bears most of the responsibility for raising that child, and in most cases, alone.

          All you have to do is look around at countless advertisements these days, where women are still portrayed as “objects” instead of as people and human beings. Recent studies showed little girls today, by the time they are 10 or 11, are already hating their bodies and judging themselves as not good enough or beautiful enough, comparing themselves to models in magazines and movies who have been photoshopped!! Movies still rarely ever portray women as strong. We are still depicted as “giving in” to men.

          How many fathers teach their sons the art of loving and respecting women when they grow up and begin to date? Is it possible they might not even know themselves?

          Mastin seems to be a wonderful person. He does not, however, live inside a female body. I do not feel he understands us thoroughly enough. Women are beginning to complain and things are changing, and only a tiny bit at a time. Just recently we begin to see toys for girls however, even Disney was still pushing the “princess” image on little girls, instead of a hero figure!!! Then a pen company came out with a “Pink Pen” for women!!!!!!!!!!

          Masculine in over drive is what is still perpetuated almost everywhere you look. I cannot walk down the street braless in the United States. Why? Because men could not “control themselves”!! There are still courts in this country condoning rape because of the way a woman was dressed, she was inviting it! I have to be “careful” in whatever I wear. Heavy women posting family photos on Facebook have received death threats and recommendations to kill themselves, merely… yes ……because of how they look!!!

          Where in our culture are we teaching the MEN to learn how to be more balanced men?? How to be a Man who demonstrates some of his own feminine characteristics? A man who does not feel he “deserves respect and deserves to be laid” so much so, he goes out and kills to prove it!

          If Mastin desires women to bring out their Feminine side when they get home from work, perhaps he can Also …give classes demonstrating to MEN, how to begin to CREATE the kind of Atmosphere in which Women can begin to feel SAFE ENOUGH to do so!!

          I am not a thing. I am not an object. I do not have a feminine on and off switch. I am a Human Being. I deserve As Much Respect as any of my partner’s male friends. I need to Trust when I say yes, I mean yes, and when I say no, I mean no. Only then can I open up so I can be adored, treasured, become more vulnerable and open to a man. Without that, we just continue to play games with each other, and the truth, is seldom revealed between us.

          (I am a one person company. I was only giving that as an example if I were a woman running a big company. …for clarification.)

  • JCov

    Oooooh so good Mastin! I didn’t know anything about this before the Maui Retreat. I am forever a student of this conversation…. I will admit though [practicing vulnerability] that while I stop my work day “early” (read: at 5:00) and take a bath to tap back into my feminine, sometimes I have to fight feeling resentful because why do EYE have to change gears, when it feels like men are able to roll on (and not be aware of this dynamic). It seems like a lot of work women have to put in to be all sides at various times. I know you taught us we have the feminist movement to thank for that… for equating equality to masculinity, but it still seems like in this society women have to be all things (masculine in business, feminine in relationships, keen enough to know when and where and how to tap in at any given moment…) I’m just being honest when I say, sometimes that frustrates me (and that ain’t good for nobody!) p.s. I have a SUPER supportive fiance and he’s the best and I really only even CARE about this because I want to be the best partner for him! Thoughts?

  • http://funfabfem.com Sierra Julie Sullivan

    Hey Mastin- great to see you getting in on the feminine / masculine conversation- especially with such a huge female readership. Shakti Gawain covers this topic in great depth in her book, Living in the Light where she talks about the birth of the new male and new female based on the consciousness that is now emerging. Great perspective and what you are saying is so in alignment with what I’ll be teaching this weekend at my http://funfabfem.com event. (Which is coming to the west coast next year!!) We’ll have to get together for tea when I’m in town. It’s been too long! :)
    Love ya!
    XO Sierra

    PS- In answer to your question- how I lead with my feminine is to “lean back” in life and stop doing, driving and providing so much! I allow my desires (and pleasure) to lead the way and I stay in the energy of playfulness, joy and full expectation that my desires are always being met. It’s juicy, fun and much more enjoyable experience of life for me, my relationship and my business. :)

  • Mike

    Hey Mastin this is really great stuff. But what about the guys? I know the daily love is 93% female but there are still lots of guys who read this. I think ‘Men’s Issue’ of Daily Love TV would be great! How do we connect with our ‘feminine’ or our ‘Wild Man’ Mastin? I would be pretty excited to see that. Again, great work!

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for sharing this Mike!! In the mean time, “Way of the superior man” by David Deida is a great start! <3 – Team TDL

  • Kate Colburn

    I have ordered the book, THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN. Thanks also for reminding me to focus back on myself and my own inner core. Appreciate you Mastin.

    • The Daily Love

      Such a great book! Let us know what you think Kate! Thanks for watching and sharing :) – Team TDL

  • Fredena Moore

    YES…Agree ::)) I realized that I do not have to act like a man or masculine to prove I’m strong. I love being feminine; my strength (masculine) lies in the peace I have in my life-goodbadhappysad. Every time I pass through water/through rivers/walk through fire, I am NOT harmed -my view of life does not change. I did not understand this and feared being feminine (it equaled pain/weakness to me in my thinking at the time). Now I understand the difference and similarity between the two because I’m older….As for my life companion? He’ll be the one who loves both his masculine/feminine :)

    • The Daily Love

      Beautiful Fredena! Thanks for sharing this :) – Team TDL

  • http://www.melissaekirk.com Melissa Kirk

    I love this topic and think it so needs to be discussed more! It’s fascinating to me how much masculine and feminine energy plays a role in our lives. At my core I am feminine and when I go into my masculine and have to stay there, for whatever reason it might be, including protection and not being vulnerable to the situation, I am not in alignment with my core. It’s not sustainable and for that reason doesn’t feel authentic. What I hope as people become more aware about these energies and how they work, they can realize that we can be strong women, while we are vulnerable and in alignment with our core. In fact, our partners will see us as much stronger individuals and will rise up and own their masculine energy when we open up. It all starts with the feminine to drive the masculine. Not sure if anyone mentioned this book, but I HIGHLY recommend the book The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida to understand how masculine and feminine energy works. When I first read it I felt totally understood as a woman, that I wasn’t “crazy” but this was my energy, and to celebrate it. Thanks Mastin and TDL for continuing to educate us about this..I think it’s an amazing topic that needs more attention!

    • The Daily Love

      Such a great book by Deida! Thanks for sharing this and watching Melissa :) – Team TDL

  • MARCE

    Hello Daily Lovers, hello Mastin! Your work gives me great insight each and every day! Thank you! For years I had to play the masculine role in a marriage that lacked respect. Lots of problems (health problems with my small girl) had me going on a “be strong” role. It was so exhausting that at some point I just decided I should stop feeling the need to show that I am strong. I decided to show more of the feminine side and keep the masculine side well hidden. No one needed to know how strong my heart was, I already knew it and it was enough. Well, it actually worked very well for me this new way of being more feminine. Some may say it may be pretending but for me it is not. It makes me feel calm and centered. there is strength in vulnerability (men also flirt a lot more! hehehe!). I hope this advice helps. Love and kisses!

    • The Daily Love

      Glad you enjoyed this episode Marce! Thanks for sharing :) – Team TDL

  • Lisa

    Awesome post. Stepped all on my toes this morning!!! Thank you for the reminder that it is okay to be vulnerable at work, but especially in my relationship with my masculine partner. As a female product of “girl power” I definitely struggle with letting my feminine side out and letting it dominate at times. Even though, I complain about always feeling that its expected that I am the one who has to have all the answers and solve the problems. Hmmm…I needed this today. :)

    • The Daily Love

      Glad you enjoyed this one Lisa :) Thanks for watching and sharing <3 – Team TDL

  • RustiQ

    This is such a timely topic for me and something I struggle with tremendously. Thank you Mastin for addressing it.

    • The Daily Love

      Thanks for watching and sharing RustiQ! :) – Team TDL

  • Elizabeth McGann

    I really enjoyed this video Mastin. Better understanding the polarity between masculine and feminine is really helpful. Thank you!! And – you and Dylan are a hysterical comedy duo. So freaking funny.

    • The Daily Love

      Lol! Thanks for watching and sharing Elizabeth!! – Team TDL

  • Dannette Wilson

    Hi Mastin,

    Thank you for your courageous, wise and inspiring words. I appreciate it and everything you contribute to the Universe. I wanted to let you know so you know how special you are and how much you bless your readers lives each and every day.

    You have been of much assistance to me during the past three years of my life, especially during the past several months of much turbulence taking place not only in one particular area of my life, but many others. There were many issues
    taking place, some minor, some hurtful, some painful, some exciting and some that have been a true test of faith. Your advice has helped me tremendously and I appreciate it big time.

    Thank you for your continued support and encouragement that you provide me every day. You are a very kind, special and talented individual and I look
    forward to hopefully meeting you. I forgive and I’m moving forward. Sending lots of love, peace and blessings to everyone out there in the Universe. Namaste. ~Dannette

    Dannette Wilson

    • The Daily Love

      Sending you lots of Love right back Dannette! Thanks for being here and sharing with us <3 – Team TDL

  • Kim Stein

    Mastin,

    This message has always resonated so deeply with me. I was my dad’s little achiever, his softball star, and my mom always modeled a more masculine role. I’ve searched the internet for books that speak to this need for balance and I can’t find anything that quite hits it on the head the way you do, but I’d like to examine this more thoroughly. Any suggestions?

  • Gigi

    Wow! I asked the universe yesterday to tell me why, in my 50 years here on Earth, I have never found a man who has chosen me as a life partner. My longest relationship has only lasted 3 years. I am loving and amazing. I am also an only child, raised by a single mother, who has no other family on this planet, and recently lived with and cared for my mother after she was diagnosed with cancer. She passed away a year ago. You just answered my question. Circumstances have required me to exist in my masculine. I only recently discovered my feminine side. Now I will fully embrace it. Just amazing synchronicity. I love it when the universe plays like that :-)

  • Tamikamichelle

    Love this!!!!!

  • Allison

    What a grrrreeaaaattt topic. Cant believe I am just getting around to reading it. Just a couple weeks ago, I actually WROTE down on my to do list…”How do I be strong but embrace my feminine/soft side?” I don’t want to become “hard”. Once again, Mastin read my mind and addressed my topic at hand.

    I am feminine and love being a girl, but I find that being “soft” does not work in a workplace that abound with men some of whom don’t respect “soft” authority. Further, in the world of relationships, many men these days overtly or covertly want women to take care of them financially and still dominate the home. What the heck? What to do?

    I know I have to be careful about who I attract etc., but I KNOW I am not going out there seeking these types out. I just want to be me, to be able to relax in my feminine without worrying about ulterior motives, or who is trying to dominate or take advantage of you.

    I look forward to going through the 95 comments below to see other people’s perspectives.

  • Valerie Marie Rutherford

    I’m putting my comment here, too, because I feel like some dissention needs to be seen.

    Okay, I’m totally with you on embracing feminine energy. Lissa Rankin did a series of posts on this topic a couple of years ago that I LOVED. So, I get that. I do. But I don’t want to be with someone who can’t embrace their feminine energy, too. I’m attracted to men, but I’m not attracted to masculine traits over feminine ones. I want a very open, compassionate, and vulnerable relationship on both sides. I’m not saying I want someone who doesn’t embrace their masculine traits, too. But I don’t think everyone is attracted to opposites. I want someone who is balanced, and I try to be balanced, as well. I want what I can give in a relationship back; I’m not looking for what I don’t have. And I’m not going to act more feminine so that someone else can feel more masculine. I’m not into acting in roles. If I can’t be exactly who I am with my soulmate, then they aren’t my soulmate. Basically, passion is not all about opposites. At least not for everyone.

    I’m not trying to say that there’s nothing valuable in this video. Just that I highly disagree with where it ended up going.