Have you ever had that gut feeling to make a decision in your life that you KNEW was going to disappoint someone you Love, or make them sad? Have you ever had feelings of guilt over it? Let’s talk about a few things to remember if you ever find yourself in this spot. Lets get started!
There comes times in our lives when we just KNOW that we are going to have to disappoint people and let them down, ESPECIALLY when you know DEEP IN YOUR HEART that you are going to have to stand up for what you believe in, and to foresee a not so great future if you made a “quick” decision based on making someone else happy instead of making yourself happy?
I was having a talk with a great friend of mine who was just proposed marriage to by his partner. My friend knew, even though they were in Love, that it is just not thing to jump into. RIGHT NOW.
He talked for weeks about something he could feel brewing the air and he predicted a marriage proposal. My friend is just not ready to make that commitment. Even though he loves his partner and dreaded saying no, he knew that he just had to follow his heart.
As predicted, the question was popped, and my friend very reluctantly refused for now. But it was absolutely killing him inside to have to do this. He was sad, hurt, and racked with guilt that he had to hurt someone he loves so much. How can he remember that by being truthful, it will always be the right thing?
Well, this situation inspired me to bring this story to light and talk about how much we can heal when we find ourselves in saddening and guilty-ridden experiences like this one.
At times in your life, you are more than likely going to disappoint a few people along your path. It is hard to remember that the most important person you give to is YOU! There is NOTHING worse than letting yourself down, constantly disappointing yourself and giving up on your heart-felt beliefs to save the emotions of another.
Even when it means that there is a fear that the other person will abandon you in the process.
It is counterintuitive, but I’ve learned that it is never a good idea to abandon yourself to make another person happy or to please them. Because what that will ultimately mean is that you are going to abandon yourself and make less of the person you are and who you were meant to be.
Just because you are hurting for the moment, it doesn’t mean that you are not strong. Strength comes from the ability to stand up and know what you will and will not tolerate, give in to, or accept for less than what you truly deserve.
Real strength comes from the courage to lovingly, yet sometimes painfully tell your own truth and let the honesty embrace the experience. It takes trust in the Universe to remember that you are whole and not less for expressing an answer that someone doesn’t necessarily want to hear. Yet it needs to be said.
Is it possible that there is a lesson (not only for you) but for the other person you are in relationship with? Think about this…Can having long range vision to trust that a little “sting” now, saves you from days, weeks, months, even years of immense heartache and lingering pain later?
I believe that it is painful and uncomfortable now because you may not be used to putting yourself first!
You see, like road trips, journeys of the heart to our dreams are many times loaded with few pit stops and bumps. It also means that during these pit stops, we will need to fuel up! And just because we stop for a bit does not mean that we will never get to our destination. It just means the arrival will be more of a sweet celebration!
We just keep driving… Pay attention to the road, although it will be bumpy at times. Your dreams WILL appear on the horizon. Just don’t stay too long at those pit stops. Fuel up and remember that an empty tank doesn’t get filled when you abandon the gas station too soon!
Being surprised at what our dreams hold is part of the thrill of getting there. And by far, it will outweigh those little stings, and temporary disappointments of the heart that we gotta face to grow, give to ourselves, and be full receivers of our abundance and dreams. If someone you Love walks away from you because you had the strength to be Loving enough to tell the truth, they may not be people to help support you to fulfill your dreams.
It takes some time to recover from letting someone down. But the longer we stay empty and away from ourselves, it will take a heck of a lot longer to reach our goals and dreams of happiness, true Love and abundance. Remember also that True Love weathers the storm. (Tweet-worthy!)
Sometimes being loving to others can be a little bitter at the start and sting sometimes. But if you trust, give your heart fully what you wished others could have, it sure can be sweeter in the end! When you are strong in your beliefs and energy, your future holds much abundance for you!
Have you ever had to disappoint someone you Love with decision you didn’t want to face? What would you do, if you were put in the position of letting someone down that you Love? How much trust could you put into the Universe and yourself to stand up for what you believe? Let me know in the comments below, and let’s discuss!
With All my Love,
Andrew “Drew” Parales is the Creator and Mentor/Coach of “i LOVE Liberation” specializing in Personal Growth and Fitness! He is also a vocational rehab educator for students with disabilities in transition & employment, and the school site program events coordinator/trainer. Connect with Drew at: www.iLOVEliberation.com and on Facebook: iLOVELiberation and Twitter: @iLOVEliberation