The other night, my roommate and I realized that P!nk was in town, playing a show right by our apartment. We had a mild freak out and started looking up tickets immediately. As we looked, we realized that her tour was called “The Truth About Love Tour.”
“P!nk…she just gets it!!” I exclaimed while running across the apartment to plug my iPhone into the speakers. We excitedly played our favorite P!nk songs for each other and pointed out the lyrics that really hit us like an arrow through the heart.
Of course, the only natural thing for us to do at that point was sit down on the couch and have an epic talk about love (this happens pretty frequently at my apartment). There’s just something about music that helps us to understand ourselves and our relationships better, to go a little deeper.
While we were talking through how we feel about romance and men and love, my roommate said to me, “you know, I think it just all comes down to practicing more self-love.”
“Ugh,” I thought. “Not that again.” I think I actually smirked.
It seems like the answer when it comes to navigating relationships is always this abstract thing called self-love. It’s not like I have a problem with the concept… it’s just that I never really know how to actually put that into practice. I need tactical solutions. I know some people say to stand in front of the mirror and say “I love you” to yourself 50 times a day, but that has never really been my thing.
I started wondering. What are the actual practices that go into self-love? If self-love is really the answer, I would get to the bottom of it.
I tried to think of the times when I practiced more self-love than usual, and I started to realize a few things.
When I feel like I’m about to get sick and my immune system is low, I eat the cleanest, most beautiful foods and juices, I am extra gentle with myself, I read books, I wrap myself in blankets, I light candles, I rest. Those things feel like acts of self-love.
When I know I’m going to see a guy I’m interested in, the few days before I see him, I always treat myself with extra care. I keep my apartment sparkling clean. I get a manicure and pedicure. I eat foods that I know will keep me feeling my best. I exercise daily. I sit in a sauna and sweat until I feel refreshed and renewed. I take radically good care of myself. Those things feel like acts of self-love.
Ok, so now I have a glimpse of what self-love can actually look like as a practice. But why do I practice self-love the most when I’m in “damage control” mode… or worse, when I’m really just doing it for someone else? Yikes! What would it be like if I treated myself like that all the time – for no particular reason… except that I just want myself to feel good? I think my life would transform.
I decided right then and there that I would try a new experiment. When I wake up each day, I’ll get out my journal write – “What would it look like if I radically loved myself today?”
So I’ll go from there. I have a feeling that maybe, just maybe… I might find out the truth about love. 🙂
What does self-love actually look like for you? When do you find yourself practicing self-love the most? What might happen if you practiced it more often?
Jenny Sansouci is the publisher of HealthyCrush.com and health coach for Dr. Frank Lipman in New York City. She’s a graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition with a certificate in Food Therapy from the Natural Gourmet Institute. Her intention is to share the most life-enhancing, vibe-raising resources she can find! Follow her adventures on instagram, Facebook and Twitter.