A couple years ago, I had the privilege of meeting my soulmate. We had a passionate, intimate relationship – the kind that everyone dreams of. Both of our hearts opened and connected in a way I didn’t even know was possible. A few short months later, I had (what I thought was) the misfortune of losing him to another woman.
For a long time I carried the burden of anger and resentment toward him for hurting me so badly. I bought into the idea that I could never find that kind of love again, and I spiraled into a pattern of behavior that became a self-fulfilling prophesy. I wouldn’t open up to anyone else because I was sure that they couldn’t possibly provide the kind of love that I became accustomed to.
Enter stage right, Gratitude.
Instead of being angry at Soulmate #1 for raising the bar too high, now I thank him. I feel sorry for the guys who have to follow that act, but I am so grateful that I know what love is supposed to look like. Because of Soulmate #1, it’s impossible for me to settle for anything less than amazing.
I won’t give him enough credit to say that he did it on purpose, but I get to choose the meaning I apply to the events of my life. Instead of choosing to be a victim and continuing to feel sorry for myself, I choose empowerment. I am an amazing woman with standards that only the best of the best can reach.
Some people have tried to tell me that my bar is set too high, but I don’t buy it. Just because one guy set a world record for pole-vaulting doesn’t mean that someone else won’t eventually come along and break it. I don’t believe that there’s only one soulmate for me. Soulmate #2 has yet to make an appearance, but I have faith that he will when the time is right.
So, Soulmate #1, thank you for showing me that the best kind of love is possible. Soulmate #2, I trust that you are following your path as I am following mine, and eventually those paths will cross.
Jillian
# # #
Jillian is a philosopher, comedienne, and not-yet-published author. Her mild-mannered alter ego has infiltrated the corporate world as application security consultant. www.jillianratliff.com
