So You Say You Want A Soulmate? Read This First!

I’m writing this blog on Saturday morning – you will be getting this blog on Sunday. Last night was the opening evening of Marianne Williamson’s awesome workshop called “The Enchanted Love Workshop” here in Los Angeles!

I can’t believe that I get to learn about Love and Romance from Marianne. I consider her to be a living master and someone who is and has been one of the most influential people on the planet when it comes to bringing Love and transformation to the planet.

Last night, Marianne opened with a discussion about Love and Romance from the perspective of “A Course In Miracles“.

One of the interesting things that Marianne talked about was this idea that relationships are assignments for spiritual growth for both partners. Which sounds nice and dandy – who wouldn’t want a “spiritual partner”? Doesn’t that sound nice? Yeah, I think it does, too.

Until we remember that growing spiritually means facing our darkness, our shadow and confronting parts of ourselves that we’d rather leave alone.

So another way to think about this is that your soulmate is going to bring all your crap to the surface, and so will you for them. It’s actually a gnarly thing to have a soulmate. People don’t live happily ever after without spiritual growth.

Marianne talked last night about how “Love brings up anything that is unlike itself – which means that in romantic partnership, part of the deal is that anything or any part of you that isn’t “loving”. So that means all the anger, all the sadness, all the wounds will come up. And the idea is that in a spiritual/soulmate situation, they don’t come up so that you judge them or that you make that part of yourself or your partner wrong; instead, we begin to love that part of ourselves and our partner just the way that it is. Understanding that it is by accepting, loving and embrace our darkside and the darkside of our partner that we come closer to Love.

Marianne also said something else that I haven’t fully processed yet, but I am spending a lot of time thinking about, which is that when we first fall in Love and experience the ecstasy and the joy that comes with that, is that we experience temporary “enlightenment”. It’s not that we are temporarily crazy, but instead that we are temporarily sane. And we get caught up because we think that it’s the other person’s job to meet all our needs how WE see fit, instead of taking our eyes off just the other person and realizing that the true source of our Happiness is The Uni-verse.

Instead of thinking that what we felt, the joy, the elation, the sense of happiness was a temporary thing, Marianne says that it’s a temporary gift from The Uni-verse showing us what is possible with spiritual growth. It’s almost like The Uni-verse is giving us a feeling place reference point, so that we know it’s possible, especially if we have never felt that kind of elation before.

The goal is not to replace or make the other person The Uni-verse. No one can Love us as perfectly as The Uni-verse does and to expect that from someone else is a setup for disaster.

There was so much that she covered in such a short amount of time, I wish I could cover it all in this blog. But there is one more thing I want to write about.

Marianne said that when we are looking to others to fill us up with Love instead of remembering our source, which is The Uni-verse, that we “accumulate hunger for the Love that we are not giving”. This is a big one. When we look out into the world with resentment or the feeling that I am not enough and that my needs are not going to be met, we tend to see what is missing.

What if it were the case that the reason that you see what’s missing is because it is your job to bring what you see is missing from the world – to the world? What if that’s why you see things missing? Because you have a gift and that gift needs to be given to the world. Where the world’s need and your gift meet – there lays your success.

Where can you give your gift and can you give yourself the Love you need to let your darkness come up to be understood and Loved? And can you hold that space for others that you Love? Let me know, send us an email [email protected] or feel free to leave a comment.



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Mastin Kipp is the CEO and Founder of The Daily Love. Follow him on Twitter here.

Take what resonates with you in this blog and leave the rest.

  • Daya2012

    Thank you Mastin.  Your words really resonate with me today.  I took a walk and meditated in the sunshine and what came to me was that I so wanted to feel loved by Jesus.  I then wished that love that joy that experience of warmth and certainty and lightness to my previous relationship, wherever he is.  It felt incredibly good to do so.  Maybe that is what forgiveness is.  Its not trying to forget but allowing to be.  My heart felt as if bathed in salt water. And I realised that what I had with him and what I had in any relationship, that love that I experienced was true love.  It was a conduit of love for God.  And if we are not together it doesn’t mean that love wasn’t real, just that we had different paths to take.  My negative thoughts are still there, I just try to interrupt them today with the question, where is God?  And it makes me smile, because today I really feel like I felt that source inside me shining on my through the sun.

  • Cas

    Understood!!! Amazing post.
    Thank  you Mastin.

  • S Prytz

    Thank you! exactly what I needed to read today! 

  • Gigita

    SO INSPIRING!!!.. you really touch my nerve!!!… you showed me a truth that I couldn’t see… thank you so much!!!

  • Nmscuri

    Bring it.

  • Apple

    Hmm after reading this blog and relaying it to my own life experience I’m wondering if I have met my soulmate? I met someone just over a year ago, and we kept bumping into each other ‘coincidentally’ in rare circumstances, it was weird and I just shrugged it off. Shortly thereafter all my stuff came to the surface and I had to work hard to overcome everything – it was awful! When I felt as though I got to the end of it, this person was told a lie about me which he obviously believed and he over reacted and everything fell apart. I definitely was not ready but here’s the thing….I want to believe that the hard part is over. I’ve done all the hard work and next person I meet I want things to run smoothly, there should be no more turmoil. When it’s right I believe it just works. This is y I’m not so sure about today’s post.

  • Rankinsavage

    Your words rang very true to me.  Thank you!!

  • Authenticity

    “What if it were the case that the reason that you see what’s missing is because it is your job to bring what you see is missing from the world – to the world? What if that’s why you see things missing? Because you have a gift and that gift needs to be given to the world. Where the world’s need and your gift meet – there lays your success.”

     :O) …………  <3  + "*"

  • Peachalaras

    i will have to marinate on this for a while..

  • Mastin,

    Wow!!  There is such responsibility in Love.  My mother and I were talking about how we somehow search outside of ourselves for Love from another only to find that it begins within.  When two people love one another….in all of their Light and Darkness, there is an effortless complimentary essence they exude.  As you so eloquently stated, when we embrace the Darkness of another, we are somehow called to be what is “missing” in the Uni-verse.

    We often say we want to spend our lives with a “soul mate” or spiritual partner, but we often neglect to discover the rewards of truly growing with another person through the good, bad and difficult…..

  • flowingcurrents

    One of my favorite and probably the most helpful books I have ever read regarding relationships is “Relationships as a Spiritual Journey: From Specialness to Holiness” by Robert Perry (book #18 in a Series of Commentaries on A Course in Miracles). It helped me to look at relationships in such a completely different way. I highly recommend to all!

  • aGuest

    What I love about your recent posts is the raw honesty of them. It’s difficult to hear how we are sometimes the co-creators of our pain. It’s so easy to point the finger and blame someone else but there is the power of choice. We can choose to sit and wallow in pain and anger or make a change. It’s difficult to let go for fear we have to face ourselves. I’ve been so sad for a long time feeling rejected by someone I cared about until I realized they weren’t rejecting me, they were rejecting themselves. They don’t even know who they are, so much so, they have built a character around their insecurities.  I, too, was rejecting the best parts of myself trying to please this person.  The moment I felt judged I began to try to “prove” myself worthy of a  person who doesn’t feel worthy.  Today, I can see the error of my ways. I am good enough. I don’t ever have to place myself in a position to prove my worth ever again. I am not a character, but a human being. I pray for this person to realize one day that they too are worthy and loved for just being human. No need to impress anyone … we are all enough! We are all loved! I will never again dim my light! Instead I will pray for them and myself … thank you! 

  • Maude

    Yes Mastin a talk by Marianne Williamson is one of the most spiritually fullfilling events one can visit. I only imagine one of her workshops can infuse you even further which to me is both terrifying and heaven. So our gift is to give the world what only we as ourselves can give and trust that the bigger thing, Love, God, Creator, than all of us has made no mistakes but universal balance that brings the gift we are to the gift we need and each moment seek. Neat. I read Enchanted Love years ago and remember laughing a lot, crying , and thinking damn this is possible. Damn this is possible. Words and automated writing or whatever Marianne brought to life in that book is peace to the ears, eyes, heart and inside self.
    It seems like when the yoga retreat, the church service, the meditation circle, the book talk, the movie, the massage, the therapy, the psychotherapy, the prayer vigil, the wedding, the funeral, the baby shower, the family reunion, the job interview, the job loss, the visit to a medical office, the dentist appointment, the fight, the cuddle, the election, the divorce-whatever it is when it is over the need is still for a hug, a hand hold, a foot rub, or a kiss on the check is what best serves the planet. The gentle touches we seek early on. With poor sensory integration from the start we weave back and forth from darkness to light unknowingly but our trust and the love we believe possible we always go out from and back to for good. Like divine lines of communication between real Love are never interrupted or cut off or lost. It gets really freakin dark sometimes but the lines are untouched by evil, fear, sickness, failure, death or darkness. Neat.
    I enjoy your ideas Mastin. I enjoy finding other people who let the universe kiss them with a Marianne treat.
    Love and peace to you and everybody else out there today who is working their darkness and light and held in a safe space where their other love is too with nothing coming between the two stronger than God or more powerful than Love.

  • admin123

    love soulmate

    The Energetic Matchmaker – Helping Woman on a Spiritual Path find their do i find my soulmate